Chapter 21: Chapter 20: Darcy’s Proposal
The day had been long, filled with small errands and polite conversation, yet Elizabeth Bennet had not found a moment's peace. Her mind wandered back to the previous weeks—the encounters with Mr. Darcy, the disdain in his glances, the curt words he'd offered in place of cordiality. He was a man she could neither understand nor admire. His presence unsettled her, not because of any overt rudeness but because of the enigmatic contradictions that seemed to define him. One moment, he was aloof and arrogant; the next, his gaze would linger on her with an intensity that made her heart race, though she despised herself for the reaction.
She had retreated to the solitude of the parlor at Hunsford, eager for a moment of calm, when the sound of heavy footsteps broke through her thoughts. She looked up sharply as Mr. Darcy entered the room. His face was as unreadable as ever, but there was an urgency in his movements, a determination that made Elizabeth sit up straighter.
"Miss Bennet," he said, his voice low but firm. "I hope I am not intruding."
Elizabeth frowned. It was highly unusual for a gentleman to seek a private audience with a lady, and Darcy's presence filled the room with a tension that made her pulse quicken. "Not at all, Mr. Darcy," she replied cautiously, rising from her seat. "What can I do for you?"
He hesitated, his gaze sweeping the room as if to ensure they were truly alone. When he turned back to her, his expression was resolute. "I fear I must speak to you on a matter of great importance. It is a subject I can no longer ignore, despite every effort to do so."
Elizabeth blinked, taken aback by the gravity in his tone. "Very well," she said slowly, gesturing for him to continue.
Darcy took a step closer, his presence commanding, though Elizabeth held her ground. "You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you," he said, the words tumbling out with a passion that startled her.
For a moment, the air seemed to leave the room. Elizabeth stared at him, utterly speechless. Of all the things she had anticipated—an insult, perhaps, or another veiled remark about her family—this was not one of them. Darcy loved her? The very thought was absurd, almost laughable, given his past behavior.
He continued, undeterred by her silence. "You have bewitched me, body and soul. From the moment I first saw you, I fought against this feeling, against the imprudence of it. I told myself it was impossible, that it would be madness to pursue such an attachment. But my efforts were in vain. You have occupied my thoughts, my dreams, my very existence."
Elizabeth's shock began to give way to indignation. While his words were passionate, they were tinged with an air of condescension that grated on her. He spoke of his feelings as though they were a burden, something he had tried and failed to overcome. Was this supposed to flatter her?
"Mr. Darcy," she interrupted, her voice sharper than she intended. "I am not sure what to say."
Darcy stepped back slightly, as if struck by her tone. "I understand this may come as a surprise," he said, his voice softening. "But I assure you, my feelings are sincere. I have struggled against them, knowing the disparity in our circumstances, the impropriety of our union. But I can no longer deny what is in my heart."
Elizabeth's temper flared at his words. "The disparity in our circumstances?" she repeated, her voice rising. "Is that how you view me, Mr. Darcy? As an obstacle to be overcome, a challenge to your better judgment?"
Darcy frowned, clearly taken aback by her reaction. "That is not what I meant," he said quickly. "I spoke only of the challenges we would face, given your family's situation. It is no secret that your connections are—"
"Less than ideal?" Elizabeth finished for him, her eyes blazing. "Forgive me if I do not find your declaration of love particularly flattering, Mr. Darcy. You speak of your feelings as though they were a burden, something you have endured despite my many shortcomings."
Darcy's expression darkened, but he did not interrupt her. He seemed to sense that any attempt to defend himself would only make matters worse.
"I will not deny that your words have surprised me," Elizabeth continued, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and disbelief. "But they have also offended me. You presume too much, Mr. Darcy, if you think I would ever accept such a proposal."
Darcy stiffened, his jaw tightening. "You misunderstand me, Miss Bennet," he said, his voice cold now. "I spoke only of the practicalities of our situation, not to demean you or your family. My intentions were honorable."
"Honorable?" Elizabeth laughed bitterly. "You insult my family, my position, and then expect me to feel grateful for your proposal? You must forgive me, Mr. Darcy, but I cannot accept such an offer."
The silence that followed was heavy, almost suffocating. Darcy's face was a mask of controlled anger, his eyes searching hers as if trying to comprehend her refusal. For a man of his stature, rejection was likely a foreign concept, something he had never encountered before. And yet, here she was, standing her ground, refusing to bend to his will.
"I see," he said finally, his voice devoid of its earlier warmth. "I see that I have misjudged you, Miss Bennet. I believed you to be a woman of intelligence and understanding, someone who could look beyond the surface of things. But clearly, I was mistaken."
Elizabeth's heart sank at his words, but she refused to let him see her hurt. "You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy," she said evenly. "But not in the way you think. I am a woman of understanding, and it is precisely because of that understanding that I cannot accept your proposal. I know myself well enough to recognize that I could never respect a man who acts as you have acted."
Darcy flinched, as if her words had struck a nerve. "And how, exactly, have I acted, Miss Bennet?" he demanded, his voice rising. "What have I done to deserve such scorn?"
Elizabeth's temper flared anew. "Shall I list your offenses, Mr. Darcy? You have insulted my family, interfered in my sister's happiness, and treated me with nothing but disdain until this very moment. And now, you expect me to overlook all of that because you have decided to change your mind?"
Darcy's face hardened, but he said nothing. His silence spoke volumes, and Elizabeth felt a pang of satisfaction at having spoken her mind. She had no desire to hurt him, but neither could she let his actions go unchallenged.
"I see that further conversation would be pointless," Darcy said finally, his voice cold and clipped. "You have made your feelings abundantly clear."
He turned to leave, his movements stiff and mechanical, as if he were trying to maintain his dignity in the face of defeat. Elizabeth watched him go, her heart pounding in her chest. She should have felt triumphant, vindicated. But instead, she felt a strange emptiness, a sense of loss she could not explain.
When the door closed behind him, Elizabeth sank into a nearby chair, her hands trembling. She had done what she knew was right, but the encounter had shaken her more than she cared to admit. Darcy's proposal, though flawed, had been heartfelt, and his rejection would no doubt sting him deeply. She could not help but wonder if she had been too harsh, too quick to judge him based on her own preconceived notions.
And yet, as she replayed the conversation in her mind, she felt a renewed sense of resolve. Darcy's arrogance, his sense of entitlement, his presumption that she would accept him despite his offenses—these were things she could not overlook. She had spoken the truth, and for that, she could not feel regret.
Still, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the room grew dark, Elizabeth found herself haunted by the look in Darcy's eyes as he had walked away. It was a look of pain, of betrayal, of a man who had laid his heart bare only to have it rejected. And though she could not change her answer, she knew that this was not the end of their story. Their paths would cross again, and when they did, the wounds of this encounter would still be fresh.