The Married Life Of Immortals

Bane turned around slowly as the lizard started to untie itself, and then flew away, but he didn't notice. Bane was too busy looking at the monstrous eldritch horror that seemed to just appear from nowhere.

"Bigger? This thing is an apartment block compared to a dog house!" Bane muttered as just craned his neck back to look up.

Garlock was a massive demonic creature with horns protruding from every part of his body. He looked like an enormous eighteen foot tall pin cushion with six arms, two legs, and two tails. His body was black, and his arms were covered in spikes.

The worst thing about him, however, were his faces. His face had a total of ten eyes, four horns, and five mouths that surrounded its head. Garlock was terrifying to behold, and it made Bane wonder how something that looked like him could ever reproduce.

"That's just wrong," Bane whispered, and Garlock chuckled, which was an awful sound, and made Bane shudder.

"It seems like you are the one who is not right. Your eyes, and skin show you are not of this world. How did you get here?"

"Spat out by a worm, and then conscripted into a little people's army."

Garlock looked confused, and then shook his head. "I have no idea what you are talking about, but if you are here to fight, then BECOME MY MEAL!"

"Why does everyone have to eat me!" Bane screamed, but Garlock was already charging.

Garlock was faster than his size would suggest, and he was in front of Bane in an instant. Bane managed to dodge the first swipe, but the second got him across his chest, and sent him flying into the wall.

Bane got up slowly, and glared at Garlock as his body completely healed from all the spikes. "That was a dirty trick, and that did not feel pleasant! You are going to pay for that!"

"DIE!" Garlock screamed, and ran towards Bane, but he was ready, and dodged to the side.

Bane rolled, grabbing a big rock as he did, and came to his feet, and chucked the rock. It hit Garlock in the face, and his flesh squelched and squirted blood, but the rock was deflected.

"What the hell is your skin made out of!" Bane asked, but Garlock didn't answer. He only charged, and Bane ran.

“Shit! This guy is fast, and I can't hurt him!" Bane roared as he ran and threw rocks, but nothing was working.

Garlock was on his heels, and Bane could feel him getting closer. He was about to reach out and grab him, when Garlock slipped, and went flying. Bane turned around, and saw his rock had gone under Garlock's foot, and tripped him.

"You stupid piece of shit!" Bane laughed, and Garlock roared, and stood up.

"My name is Garlock! Show some respect, you pink-skinned demon!"

Bane was surprised that the monstrous creature was so sensitive, but decided to use that to his advantage.

"Well, Garlock, you aren't a very impressive fighter, and I can't wait to send you crying back to your momma!"

"I have no mother! I was created!"

"No kidding. What female would want to give birth to an ugly monster like you. You have no redeeming features at all."

Garlock was enraged, and rushed at Bane, but he was ready. Bane let Garlock get in front of him, and then jumped up, grabbed one of his horns, and pulled himself up.

"Get off of me!" Garlock yelled, and tried to knock Bane off, but Bane used the spikes as hand holds.

"Hey, Garlock! I think it's time I got serious," Bane laughed, and then broke off one of the horns he was holding. Garlock roared, and Bane flipped the horn around and drove it into the top of Garlock's head.

"AAAAAHHHH!" Garlock roared, and then his eyes bulged, and his head split.

"Whoa, gross," Bane muttered as he dropped to the floor, covered in Garlock's black blood.

Garlock didn't even notice, and just fell forward, dead.

Bane kicked his corpse, but then let out a yelp because the horns hadn’t become any less pointy in death. "That wasn't a challenge at all."

Bane looked around, but there didn't seem to be anything else that wanted to fight, so he went over to the dead demon. He then looked over the massive body until he found two horns he felt would be good as daggers, wrapping the handles in scraps of his shirt he retrieved after emptying out the rocks.

Just about ready to leave, Bane looked back at the corpse's head, and stopped. The creature was face down, so Bane didn't notice the glittering red gem covered in flesh in the top of the split skull.

"Huh, a pretty red stone. Maybe I can get something for it, and the horns," Bane said, and took the jewel, and wiped it off on the remnants of his shorts, and put it into his pocket, and then went back to the entrance of the cave.

As Bane got closer, the sounds of tiny screaming voices, the clanging of cutlery, and snapping fireworks that you threw at the ground got louder. When Bane stepped into the light, he was blinded by the sudden change in light levels, and had to wait a moment for his eyes to adjust.

"Hey, you did it!" the small demon yelled, and the other cheered, and Bane saw they were still in the middle of what looked like a fierce battle with another large army of tiny demons.

"Need some help?" Bane asked, but they all ignored him and kept fighting.

Shrugging his shoulders, Bane went to the edge of the forest and sat down.

"Well, I guess I'll just wait here for them to finish."

Bane waited, and eventually the little people were victorious, and they celebrated and danced and chanted around the bodies of the other fallen demons. They looked like a tribe of savages, but Bane guessed that was exactly what they were.

"Alright, I've had enough of this. It's time for answers, or I'll crush you all like ants."

Bane stomped his foot, and all of the demons, who had been celebrating, and not noticing Bane at all, suddenly turned to look at him. The next thing Bane knew, he was on the ground tied up, getting a stick shoved in his eye for ruining the celebration, and on the move again.