The Married Life Of Immortals

Bane tumbled out of the cave, but the moment he hit the ground, the wires covered him, and he was on the road again. His wounds were already healed, but he didn't feel any stronger like he normally would after a fight. It was almost a let down for him, but Bane knew he was going to have to survive everything these little bastards threw him to.

"Are you guys ever going to say anything? Or just continue to carry me from one doom filled encounter to the next?" Bane asked, but then added. "Not that I mind, but I am going to get tired of taking naps all the time."

Bane wasn't expecting a reply, but then something poked his forehead, and he looked down to see a small hand holding a stick.

"What the fu-"

"Don't you dare finish that word, or I will shove this stick in your eye," The miniature demon warned, and Bane narrowed his eyes.

"You are a lot bigger than the others. At least an inch!"

"No shit. We come in a bunch of different sizes," the tiny demon said, and poked Bane with the stick again.

"Hey! Why can you swear, and I can't?" Bane demanded, but that got him another poke.

"Because I am the one with the stick, and you are tied up, Dumbass!" the small demon snapped.

"That doesn't mean you need to be a jerk. How about you tell me something useful, instead of being an annoying little prick!" Bane snapped, and the small demon laughed.

"The next demon you are going to see will eat you for sure! Garlock, the behemoth is much bigger Brilled, the glutton!" the small demon laughed, and poked Bane with the stick again.

"Stop fucking poking me with that damn stick!" Bane screamed, but the small demon only laughed harder.

"It is so fun, watching the big, strong demon getting poked by a little stick," the small demon laughed, but Bane only focused on the last part.

"You think that I am a demon?" Bane asked, and the little demon fell over laughing.

"The ugliest pink-skinned demon I have ever seen. You can't even hide your face, so I know you are a demon."

"I am not a demon. I'm a human," Bane insisted, but the small demon only shook his head.

"Humans can't survive in this world. The demonic energy here is too potent."

Bane knew this, and decided to let them think he was a demon, not that it mattered. These little monsters seemed hellbent on feeding him to one demon or another. Bane didn't know why this was happening, since he was supposed to be training, not participating in a walking "can you eat this" challenge.

"What do you guys even get out of feeding me to demons?"

"We get a chance to fight them. That is all. If you don't fight, you die. So, we fight to survive."

Bane's face screwed up. "Who the hell are you fighting? Your shadows?"

This earned Bane multiple pokes in both his eyes. "Idiot! The big ones have little ones! We defeat them before you finish your fight!"

"Ah, makes sense," Bane nodded. "How long till the next fight anyway? And do you think you could maybe untie me? I am not going to run away. This relaxing trip through this messed up world!"

"I don't think I want to," the small demon snickered, but then suddenly, the small wire's were gone, and Bane was free.

Bane was quick, and grabbed the small demon, but then let go with a wince from the demon turning into a spiked ball. "Okay, ow! Don't do that. I was just messing around."

"Well, you are lucky, because we are here," the small demon said, and pointed up ahead.

Bane followed where the small demon was pointing, and saw the opening of another cave. It was about the same size as the last one, and Bane rolled his shoulders.

"Can you at least tell me the abilities of this next demon, besides that it is bigger?" Bane asked, but the demon nodded.

"His main attack is a corrosive spit, which will burn and dissolve anything. You need to watch out for that. Also, his tail can split and grow extra heads."

"Anything else?" Bane asked, but the small demon only shrugged.

"Just be careful, and don't die. If you are eaten, then the rest of us have to go find another one."

Bane snorted. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Whatever. Go die in there!"

Bane rolled his eyes, and then walked up the entrance. When he entered the cave, the first thing he did was look for some sizable rocks. His brown shorts and green shirt was in shreds, so he took off his shirt, and put the rocks in it. Then he tied it in a knot, and swung it like a bag full of rocks.

"Hopefully this one isn't any more ugly than the last one," Bane muttered as he headed deeper into the cave.

The further he went, the more the temperature changed, until he could see his breath, and the cold air nipped at his exposed flesh.

"Would it kill for someone to turn on the heat?" Bane complained as he walked into a massive open cave that was so high he couldn't see where the ceiling was, or if there even was one, and then a large shadow passed over his head.

Looking up, Bane saw a giant winged lizard swooping down on him. Bane was surprised, and jumped out of the way, and the lizard's claws missed him by an inch. The lizard landed, and spun around, and Bane could see a long lime green scaly body, and a spiky back, and its wings were long, and the same color of its body, but its mouth and face was what Bane was paying the most attention to.

"Ugh, this thing is way uglier than that last guy!" Bane complained, putting his hand up to block his view of the creature's hideous face and mouth.

This thing was truly nightmare fuel. It had six yellow eyes, and two long fangs coming out of its bottom jaw. Its face was wide, and its tongue was dark green, and long. When it opened its mouth, and hissed, Bane could see its black teeth, and he could feel the cold air that blew from its mouth.

Bane was glad his clothes were torn. The idea of wearing anything around that thing, was more than a little horrifying.

"Alright, let's get this over with," Bane sighed, and then took off running towards the beast.

The lizard saw him coming, and reared back on its hind legs. Suddenly, its tail grew extra heads, and it breathed out a cone of frosty air that hit Bane full in the chest. Bane was thrown back, and the icy energy froze the moisture in the air, and covered Bane in ice.

Bane groaned, as his body was encased in the frozen energy. 'This is not cool,' Bane thought, but then he realized that the demonic energy was keeping him warm, and he could easily move.

As soon as Bane freed his arms, the ice shattered, and his demonic energy surged to his arms, making them glow black with red veins.

Bane used his energy to punch his way out of the rest of the ice, and the lizard, who had been stalking forward, froze, and looked at Bane with an incredulous look on its hideous face.

"Yeah! You like that, Shovel Face!? Come get some!" Bane taunted, but then the first mouth spat a purple liquid that boiled in the air, and made Bane scream like a little girl as he dodged to the side it narrowly missed him. The tree it hit was cut in half, and then the purple acid consumed all organic matter it touched.

"You nasty bitch! Keep that stank ass breath away from me!" Bane warned, but then both heads of the lizard shot towards him, and Bane had to dodge the other way.

Both mouths spit their corrosive acid and frost bursts, and Bane jumped back, and then ran to the side, trying to get behind the lizard, but it wasn't going to let him get by.

Every time Bane tried to move, the lizard's tail was there, and Bane had to keep jumping and rolling out of the way. Running back to the entrance, Bane scooped up his shirt full of rocks, and turned around. The tail was there again, and he jumped over it, and smashed his shirt full of rocks into the lizard's mouth, and then jumped forward, and grabbed the heads of the tail.

Bane grabbed the other lizard's head, and shoved the two ugly maws together just before they each blasted. The corrosive acid and frozen energy collided, and a blast of force was expelled, knocking Bane into the cave wall.

Bane was on his feet quickly, and saw the lizard's mouth and tail were burned, and the acid had burned a hole in its side.

"Ha! Take that, ugly!" Bane yelled, and the lizard hissed, and then its tail was back to normal, and its face turned into a twisted smirk.

Bane didn't know how he knew the lizard was smirking, but it was, and he didn't like it. The lizard charged, and its body began to change.

Suddenly, the lizard's head disappeared, and his mouth turned into a round sphere with teeth, and its eyes turned black. Bane watched in horror, as the lizard's body turned into a huge mass of writhing flesh.

"Man, this thing is a nightmare," Bane groaned, but the lizard was now upon him.

Bane dodged out of the way, and jumped onto the wall. The lizard's flesh-body followed, writhing flesh tentacles now blasting frost and acid at Bane. He dodged, and flipped, and rolled, and jumped, and he felt like he was in a fucking video game.

'This is not fair! I'm getting tired of this!' Bane roared in his mind, and then an idea came to him.

"Hey, ugly! Why don't you just stop!" Bane shouted, and the lizard turned towards him, and then its body was a wall of flesh.

"Oh, shit," Bane cursed, and then his hands and legs were covered in his demonic energy, and he jumped straight up.

As soon as his feet left the floor, the wall of flesh slammed down, and was stuck in the ground. Bane smirked, and then fell down, grabbing one of the tentacles that was trying to grab him as he landed, and ripped it off, then did the same to another. He used them like whips to strike at the tentacles, and knocked them away.

"I hope you aren't enjoying this, asshole!" Bane yelled, but then the lizard roared, and its body turned back into a lizard. "Hey! Stop that you deformed two headed hairless flying rat! Pick one form, and stick with it! This isn't even a power up!"

The lizard screeched, and charged. Bane waited until it was close enough, and jumped, and the lizard's head turned into a spiked ball, but it was too slow, and Bane whipped the tentacles around both the necks of the head and tail. Bane then proceeded to tie the demon up into a five foot tall ball that he started to punch into a wall.

"Stupid lizard! This is what you get!" Bane howled, but then froze when a deep voice came from behind him that sounded like it belonged to something big.

"Are you done playing with my pet?"