Paragon of Weaponmasters

Peter yawns in voice chat as I join the group.

"Up too early?" I ask.

"Yeah, but I'm too excited to go to bed." he says.

"Oh?" I encourage him to explain.

"I can't wait to see your face when we turn in the quest." he chuckles.

"Oh boy." I use my herston. When I arrive at the inn, somebody smacks my ass. I yelp in surprise, wheeling to find the perpetrator.

"Sup." Helga says.

Helga the Bloodthirsty. Level 20*

"How the hell are you level twenty already?" I pick my jaw up off of the floor.

"Raw talent." she smirks. "Hey, I heard how your date went. Sorry about that."

"It is what it is." I say.

"I gotta get back to it. See you boys at 63 soon!" She takes off running.

Reading her title gives me an idea. I don't know if N.P.C.s can see them, but I'm going to use my 'First Son-in-Law of Honorlord Mergigoth Dragonslayer' title to meet with him. Gonna rub it in that fuckers face. I make my way over to his lair, meeting Peter outside.

"Oh boy." he laughs so hard he almost falls over. "This is going to be good."

I laugh too. A little revenge for Lagakh will be nice.

We walk in, and the Honorlord stands up as soon as he sees us, a furious look on his face and his axe in hand.

"How dare you!" he yells, looking right at me. I guess he can see it.

"What's up pops? We're here to challenge you for the throne." I say defiantly.

"What gives you the right?" he asks.

"I earned 20,000 honor by slaying my enemies by the hundreds. We've proven ourselves more worthy than you on the field of battle!" I get into the spirit of the moment.

Honorlord Mergigoth Dragonslayer considers us.

"No." he utters.

"No? What do you mean no? That's how it works!" I yell at him.

Peter snickers next to me, one eye glazed over. He's filming this? Little turd.

"I have decided that honor no longer determines who is Honorlord." he explains.

"That doesn't make any sense!" I continue yelling. Peter is cracking up.

The Honorlord slams the butt of his axe on the floor like a gavel, demanding silence.

"You will slay the ancient dragon beneath the dwarven mines of Dalomneag." he tells us. "Only then may you challenge me."

Die with Honor Completed! Experience gained.

You have reached level 64!

Strength increased by 128%!

Agility increased by 128%!

Intelligence increased by 128%!

Peter has reached Level 64!

To Challenge the Honorlord

Slay Chursys, the Hungry 0/1

I scowl at the notification, then the Honorlord. Peter pats my shoulder, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Let's go check out the cosmetics big guy." he says, pulling me away.

"Why was he alone?" I ask, noting the absence of his living sons.

"They're out doing his dirty work. We couldn't take him anyways, the guards are just for show." he tells me, guiding me to a side room full of equipment. It looks like my old store if it had rich investors. "Go talk to that orc when you're ready to buy something. You can look around for what you want first."

A heavily armored orc looks bored in the back of the room, waiting for customers. There's an exterior shop with exits to either side of him. For now, I look around the interior. Armor of all shapes, sizes, and materials hand from the walls or dress mannequins. It's kind of funny seeing a ken-doll bare white mannequin with tusks.

If I had to guess, the armor is organized by expansion, then material. I mostly ignore the lighter armors, cloth, leather, and chainmail. Plate is definitely my style of choice. The first section's plate looks like a roman gladiator with less exposed flesh, a huge plume on top of golden armor.

The second section boasts a cultural piece representing every species of the Civilisation, the helmet has a single line as the visor, like a cyclops. Minotaur horns decorate the shoulders, knuckle claws on the gloves. The whole thing appears to be of orcish make, with scraps and welding that's unmistakably goblin. It's pretty neat, but I'm going to keep looking.

The third set catches me. Bright, fire orange scales and metal. Like someone made a full set of highly polished copper armor, then added dragonscales to hang from the shoulders and belt, while filling in the joints and other exposed bits too. It comes with a cape, but I'll be damned if it doesn't match my new dinosaur one perfectly. I mentally add it to my 'maybe' list.

There's two more sets of armor, and every section had weapons, but I skip over them in favor of checking out the toys on the other side of the shop. I almost punt an Honorlord action figure as I pass by. They've got remote control siege vehicles, reusable flags, and various 'blood soaked' additions to equipment, like bloody footsteps for boots. Nothing that interests me.

I move outside to find a stable on one side and a kennel on the other. Just like Peter told me, most species have their own mount and they're represented here. Orc warg, minotaur and cyclops hydra, and a rickety goblin catapult. They're fully armored and loot ready for war, unlike my warg. My chariot is unique and cool as hell, so I'm not interested.

The pets however…

"Hey Peter" I say, getting his attention from a warg pup he's cuddling.

"What's up?" he says, receiving aggressive licks to his cheek for daring to stop paying attention to the puppy.

"Can I sell the pets on the auction house?" I ask.

He and the pup look at me, horrified.

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"No, Earl. P.V.P. players are very prideful and won't let you. They want this stuff exclusive to those who've earned it, and they'll go to any length to make sure it stays that way." he informs me.

I raise my hands in surrender.

"Alright, geez. Touchy subject." I say, looking over the pets. "Do you have to feed them, can they get hurt?"

"You can give them treats but they don't need food. When you don't want them around they are just in your collection tab. They can get hurt, but only in pet-vs-pet battles." Peter answers.

"Pet-vs-pet? Like Pokémon?" I wonder

"Exactly like Pokémon. It's entirely optional and not very popular." he shrugs.

"Good to know." I spot a pet that calls to me, I open the kennel and gently pull them out. "Hey little guy."

It's an owlbear cub, roughly the size of a beach ball. It barely fits in my arms, and is extremely heavy. It chirps at me, turning its head with curiosity. Like an owl, it can turn much further than most creatures.

"Well aren't you the cutest?" I scratch it under the chin, it growl-chirps, the sound half way between a bear and an owl. "I want this one."

"You have to put that one back, it's a display model." Peter tells me, looking very attached to the warg pup in his lap.

"Oh." I say, looking into the cub's huge eyes. "That's a terrible system."

"You wanted to sell them." Peter points out.

"Well not anymore!" I say, holding the cub tight. "Alright buddy, I love you, live well, enjoy life, eat lots of fish." I gently place them back in the kennel. Thankfully this doesn't upset them, otherwise I'd be here all day. Possibly the rest of my life.

With a few longing looks over my shoulder, I walk away from the adorable feather baby and find the vendor. Opening the menu, I find the armor I picked fairly quickly.

"10,000? That's a lot." I say.

"Yep. Honor cosmetics are expensive. They want you to P.V.P. constantly, it's practically a lifestyle." Peter joins me at the vendor.

I check over the rest of the prices, it seems like weapons, pets, and toys are 5k, armor sets are 10k, and a mount is 20k.

"This is just the base species stuff, too. The unlockable species have their own stuff you can buy." Peter casually mentions.

"There's demon girl stuff?" I ask, trying not to drool.

"Yes Earl. And it's just as salacious as you're hoping." Peter rolls his eyes.

"Excellent." I say, rubbing my hands together. I'm playing it up to mess with the kid, there's no way I'm actually that excited about demoness-themed cosmetics. Haha.

"I could afford a second pet." I say, stroking my chin. "Wait, would the P.V.P. mafia know if I gave you something I bought with honor?" I ask Peter

"Uhh… not necessarily. You don't have to, anyways." He says.

"I want to! Pick out something for five thousand and I'll get it for you." I insist.

"Alright." I can tell he's looking through his own menu, invisible to me. "How about this?"

Peter says: [Honored Godslayer's Dagger]

He links the item he wants in chat. I look it up, buy it, and trade it to him before anyone sees. We've been alone this whole time, but why risk it?

"Thank you Earl." he smiles, then opens another menu. He uses glamour to change his current daggers into the one I bought, a thin red blade with an x in the middle of a circle for a guard.

"Sick." I say, returning to the menu to spend the rest on my points on some traffic-cone colored armor, and a baby owlbear.

Honored Dragonslayer's Plate added to inventory.

Honored Owlbear Cub added to inventory.

Honored Dragonslayer's Plate added to collection.

Honored Owlbear Cub added to collection.

I also buy enough glamour for all of my armor, and use it to change from the black metal of The Forgotten Hero to the copper tones of The Honored Dragonslayer.

"That goes really well with your cape. The legendary one, that I didn't realize you had until now. Earl, what the fuck." Peter sighs, exasperated.

"I looted it off of Aighe. Did you forget too?" I ask.

"I did. I do have mail, though." he turns to leave

"What do those two things have to do with each other?" I stop him.

"If you don't loot something it goes to your mailbox." he informs me.

"Really?" I look at my interface where the 'You've got mail!' notification appears. Wouldn't you know it, it's blinking. I summon my new pet, give him a squeeze, then sprint off after Peter to the nearest mailbox.

When I open it, I imagine being buried over my head in letters. There's so much stuff I haven't been looting!

2,673 gold added to inventory.

Raptor claw added to inventory.

Raptor claw added to inventory.

Raptor claw added to inventory.

Raptor tooth added to inventory.

Raptor claw added to inventory.

The system notifications go on for miles. The only one that catches my eye is…

Wudhagh's Prized Axe added to inventory.

I totally forgot to loot that asshole in the commotion.

Wudhagh's Prized Axe - Epic two-handed axe - Requires level ?? - Low slash damage - Low strength

Hmm. The level requirement doesn't stop me from equipping it, but it's a two-hander, and I can't equip it and my other weapons. When I try, all three of them and my shield get knocked into my inventory.

"Holy shit!" Peter shrieks.

Peter says: [Impenetrable Stomach]

"You got one too!" I say, inspecting his loot.

Impenetrable Stomach - Legendary chest - Requires level ?? - Maximum Agility - Damage inflicted by Floating weapons is negated

"Hold on a second. Mine prevents backstabbing and yours specifically negates floating weapons. Did we get armor meant to keep us from fighting?" I question

"That's ridiculous, the game doesn't cater loot to…" Peter pauses, looking at my face like the sight of it changes everything. "Nevermind. Yes, that's exactly what happened." he sighs.

I cross my arms, feigning indignation.

"Are you going to complain about getting overpowered gear?" I ask him, eyebrow raised.

"...no" he mumbles. "I can't equip it though."

"Did you try?" I ask

"...no" he mumbles again. Suddenly, his formerly dark leather armor is replaced by blinding neon orange.

"No way!" he says, looking down at it.

"I guess 'requires level question mark question mark' means 'Fuck it.'." I laugh.

"Yeah!" he says, only half paying attention.

"Well now you have to get the orange dragonscale armor so we can match!" I tell him.

"Okay!" he runs back into the shop. Did he not spend his honor points?

"Wait! I was joking!" I say too late. Instead of his stealthy, sleek, black armor, now he's decked out head-to-toe in glaring orange.

"We should make a guild called 'Orange Boys'." he tells me with a huge grin.

"What's a guild?" I inquire.

"Really? Man, I somehow keep forgetting you don't know anything." he says, then winces. "Sorry, that came out mean."

"Don't worry about it, so what is it?" I wave my hand dismissively.

"It's how people group together. I would have thought your agency would have you in their guild, I guess I never noticed the lack of it over your head." he shrugs.

"Your guild appears over your head?" I'm growing questions like weeds.

"Yeah. Do you have it turned off in your settings?" He asks.

I check, and I in fact do have it turned off. When I close the menu, I can spot a new line of text under some players' names.

Holycow the Righteous. Level 90. [Needs More Cowbell]

How about that?

"So should I ask Bell?" I wonder.

"Spose you should." Peter nods.

He's online, so I message him.

Earl says: Do you have a guild I should be in?

Iwanttobelieve says: Yes. Did you not receive an invite?

Earl says: Nope.

Susan has invited you to join [Allied Mastercomputer]

Earl says: so that's what A.M. stands for.

Susan says: Welcome!

Charlie says: Welcome!

Levi says: Welcome!

Uko says: Really? This guy?

Helga says: Can it weeb

Uko says: Fuck off bitch

Uko has been muted.

Susan says: don't mind him Earl.

Earl says: Okay.

A new Guild menu becomes available with several tabs, Guild Stats, Members, and Benefits. I check the benefits and almost punch Peter in the shoulder.

"I could have had a guild paying for all of my repairs this whole time?" I ask him.

"To be fair, not all guilds do that." he tells me.

"So can I invite you?" I look though the menu.

"I'm not signed with your agency so I doubt it." He shrugs.

Earl says: Can Peter join too?

Susan says: Sorry Earl, Signed Paragons only.

Earl says: Bummer.

"You were right." I admit.

"Maybe someday. Anyways, we have a dragon to slay. First we have to hit 65 though." Peter mounts up.

"Right!" I hop on my chariot. "Shouldn't take too long, only one level."