My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

My eyes widen as a shadow suddenly looms beside me.

The colossal old man kneels down, his body creaks with every movement like a rusty car, yet I never even heard him get up from his seat.

His presence suffocates me, as though I have to ask for his permission to breathe. My body now matches the girls, as it violently trembles.

"What are you apologizing for, Saturn?" The old man's words are a whisper that spoke only to my bones, causing my body to instinctually shiver. "We all make mistakes, a wrong turn, a misspoken word, a misstep. What determines the severity of the mistake is not the action, but the consequence."

Reaching his hand out he grazes the girl's face, his flaking gray skin is stained a dark red from dry blood. "From what I see, there was no consequence for your mistake, so why do you apologize?"

"I- I-"

"Unless perhaps, you did miss one? Did you, Saturn?"

Their breath hastens, "No sir!"

...

The man takes a deep breath, causing my bones to twitch. Because every time he spoke, it gave the feeling one would feel alone at night walking in the woods.

Yet he doesn't speak nor shout, he simply points down at their chest.

The girl looks down with trembling eyes; in the center of their bosom is squished grape.

Their eyes somehow widen even further than they violently shake. "IM SORRY! IM SORRY! FORGIVE ME!"

I don't know if it's out of habit or the immortality giving me confidence, but I want to say something. Like a child approaching a Komodo dragon, I step forward. "I mean... it's only a single grape... It's not that big of a deal, right?"

The colossal man doesn't avert his gaze, as they are locked onto the other woman.

"You heard our guest, it doesn matter if a single grape gets squished. It's insignificant, unimportant. It was unable to hold onto the vine, that is why it fell off. Now, would you throw away the whole basket simply because you dropped one?"

Her voice shakes. "N- no sir!"

"No, you wouldn't; that would be a waste."

He leans forward, his words sound as though spoken through a hollow bone. "Now... get a new basket."

Her eyes begin to water before she submissively nods and turns away.

What did I just do? Did my words help or hurt her? And who the hell is this guy?

There's a pause, a silence that he had commanded by his presence alone.

"I apologize for that." The mans bones rattle as he picks himself up. His steps make no sound, on his third step he vanishes and reappears, sitting down at his seat. "You can tend to a garden every day, holding the flowers up, watering them... but you cannot force a flower to bloom."

Dissiri seems just as shocked as I am about this man's supernatural prowess as she stands there shaking. Her body sweats profusively as she has one hand over her pistol holster and the other over her knife.

Noctiva on the other hand, is like a mourning dove, no sense of danger. She scoffs as she leans against me. "I totally get it old man, my henchman here is can be quite the klutz, isn't that right, Gravy me boy?"

"Uh- oh, yeah, I am." My words felt illegal, as though I would be punished for speaking without his permission.

The man slowly turns his head to me; the moment our eyes lock, my body is sent into a fight or flight stance, yet my body chooses the third... freezing.

"Anywhosie, my agent said you were the one to hire me, but I was never told what I would be doing. So, is this going to be some comedy bit? An interview? Or som-"

"My wife... she was a fan of yours."

"...oh..."

The man looks out the window towards the rising sun. "Strange, isn't it? Why is it that angels die, and only the demons are left to roam this forsaken earth? Which is right then? To live, you must kill you and become that which you are not, or you die in order to remain yourself."

"Well, I guess

"On her deathbed, she would always have the television on, with you on screen. You would do some foolish act. While I deemed your actions pointless, it would bring out her smile, and for that, I must thank you."

While he's talking it up with Noctiva, I'm struggling to remain calm. I can't tell if the walls are moving or if it's the fact that my body is violently shaken. The dismally dark room is disorientating, every shift in the room causes me to jump.

Sitting in the center is the old man, the area he sits has the most amount of light, meanwhile the rest of the room is hidden by the shadows. The presence of light acting as though restraints, because the moment he left the false security of the visible light, his presence would become unknown.

"She said that there was something about your positive attitude that radiated good health. But... apparently it wasn't good enough."

There's another awkward moment of silence, as no one knows what to say.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear about your wife; she sounded like a wonderful woman." Noctiva finally musters through a smile.

The man doesn't reply, instead his dead gaze continues to look out the window.

"Mercury, please fill our guests in on what is expected."

The red ninja squats in the corner of the room, somehow his crimson outfit is masked by the darkness, only the whites of his eyes are visible through the shadows. "Of course." He nods.

Appearing beside us, the red ninja bows before waving towards the exit.

The three of us make our way to the doorway, yet Dissiri can't determine which threat to focus her attention onto. With that, Mercury guides us away from the deafeningly quiet room.

"Our lord is pleased to have you here."

"Well, I appreciate the hospitality, but... he never really told me what I'd be doing."

"My apologies, the lord is somewhat under the weather as of recently, you will have to forgive his negligence. You all will be taking part in our martial arts academy's weekly regimen, that is if that's what you wish, in honesty, this visit is a gif-"

Noctiva lets out a giddy gasp. "Ninja training!"

(˘-‿-) "Well, we're called Shinobi, neverthe-"

"Back... up." Dissiri aggressively commands as she fills the spot between Noctiva and the red shinobi.

"Once again, I apologize, miss." He puts his hands up. "And I must ask, earlier you showed quite the skilled kick, what school of martial art were you trained in, "

Dissiri balls her hand up in a fist, holding it in front of her she points at it with her other. She makes a wind up motion as though a wind-up toy as she slowly lifts her middle finger.

( ≖ _ ≖ )╭∩╮

"Ah! Dissiri, don't be mean to ninja man."

I have nothing to contribute, nor do I want to show my hand, so I walked alongside the three of them like an NPC, making myself as inconspicuous as possible.

Leaving the main building, we are guided down wooden pathways built over a mossy plain.

Sliding open a door we are led into the large house? Hotel? I'm not really sure what it is.

"If you would..." The shinobi instructs us to take off our shoes at the entrance.

Dissiri narrows her eyes, slowly unlatching the countless latches of her boots before she tugs them off. Not losing her glare towards the shinobi, she drops her steel toed boot. With a wood splintering thud gravity causes the boot to break the planks as it fails to hold the weight, creating a crater.

The house is huge with countless repetitious rooms, all with similar designs and matts on the floor. Felt like I was in Muzan's infinity castle.

Arriving at a room that branches out from the hallway, we enter. Within, it's a cream room with the same tatami mats lining the floor.

We eventually end up in these old time Japanese homes, the paper thin walls are decorated with various colorful designs and patterns.

Sliding open a door, there's a single table with pillows surrounding it; above it is a warm overhead light.

"I do apologize. You were somewhat of a last minute surprise for us, so we did not prepare a proper room for you. I assume you wish to be separated by gender; so feel free to take any of the rooms that you desire.

Noctiva scoffs. "Oh, you don't have to worry about him."

The red Ninja turns to me with a slow nod. "I see... so he swings that way."

"THATS NOT WHAT SHE MEANT!" I protest.

"Down henchman!" Noctiva commands.

(⩌_⩌) "yes ma'am."

The red ninja bows before us. "Well, my name is Mercury, if you need anything, no matter how trivial, I am one shout away."

"Mmh kay, bye bye ninjago man." Noctiva waves.

Mercury doesn't even use a smoke bomb or anything, he straight up defies reality and vanishes with a cool hand sign.