My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

Ain't no rest for the wicked.

Guess one day off was all that bulletin god could give me. I know I shouldn't be complaining, but even the strictest workplaces don't have seven-day weeks.

Then again, this next targe isnt going to die for another three days, so technically I have two days off. For some reason I feel like those two days aren't going to be a casual weekend.

Hopping on the bus, it's still somewhat early, meaning it isn't too crowded. The walls are carpeted with that blue confetti appearance. The entire vehicle vibrates as the wheels fill with air and the bus jolts forwards.

I will take this hour long bus ride to catch up on the three weeks' worth of sleep. ‎꜀( ꜆-ࡇ-)꜆ ᶻ 𝗓

Still, this location is so obscure. I only remember going here once with my grandparents when I was younger.

When faced with something new and confusing, they clung to their stereotypes and tropes to guide them through the foreign environment. Needless to say, we got kicked out of a lot of restaurants.

"...Graves?"

If ominous had a one liner, it would be that.

Turning my head, on the left side of the bus is one purple haired Noctiva and the grumpy looking green haired Dissiri.

I really don't want to deal with all that energy so early in the morning...

"Good morning, ladies." (~￣³￣)~ I strain a smile and a wave before speed walking away.

"Dissiri, grab him!" Noctiva commands.

Suddenly, with the grip of a vice, Dissiri grabs my arms and pulls me towards them, throwing me into the middle seat between them.

"Good morning, handsome."

"...good morning Noctiva." I say, attempting to hide my discontent. "And good morning Dissiri."

"Shut up."

(˘-‿-) "Hmm k."

"So... is there a reason you wanted to see me or..."

"What are you talking about?! How could I not abduct you? I mean, what are the odds we are heading to the same place?"

I don't know, nor do I really care, I just want my sleep. "Yeah, crazy small world it is."

"I know something that isn't small..." Noctiva smirks as she reaches between my legs.

"The united states debt per capita?" (ㆆ _ ㆆ? )

"Eh... well- I guess that's also pretty big." ( º﹃º )

There's an awkward pause as Noctiva puts her hand out as though expecting something.

"Now, aren't you going to ask us something?"

"There is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. So how is it that they can fly?"

"...What? I dont know! Ask me the other thing!"

"Noctiva, where are you going on this lovely morning?" I finally question robotically.

"Well, I'm glad you asked Graves. We have a movie shoot in a remote town called Mount Mossari."

Of course she does.

"It's a documentary movie about Asian culture!"

"Why do they have an actor doing a documentary?"

"You know the Asians, they like to spice things up, lots of pop ups, goofy expressions and high energy, and I just happen to fit the book perfectly. If I'm being honest, they didn't really tell me what I'd be doing here."

"That's unsurprisingly careless of you."

"So what about you? Did you come here to stalk us? If you wanted to spend time with us, you could have just asked. In fact, Dissiri has been begging to visit yo-."

"WHA- Miss! please don't say such ludicrous things!"

Looking down at my note, I reread the words, hoping they would change. Riven Phalenx, Mount Mossari village, and the date is three days from today...

Noctiva glances over as I look down at the note.

"Whatcha looking at?"

"Admission tickets to my funeral."

"?"

Our bus ride was thrilling, between the hours of start and stop traffic, along with Noctiva talking like a radio in her own made up language. Meanwhile, Dissiri fell asleep leaning on my shoulder; which I would have said was cute, but she punched my face in an act of fluster the moment she woke up.

Arriving at the village the path diverges into two different paths. Noctiva and Dissiri turn right. I begin to walk in the left path towards the village.

"Where are you going Graves?"

I turn back to her with confusion. "Uh... the village that we traveled two hours for?"

"Dont be silly, that's just a tourist trap, we're going to where the locals lives."

"Huh?"

"Come, Boy." Commanding me like a dog, I hesitate...

With a shrug, I walk over and join them.

"Good boy."

"Do I get a treat?"

She smirks. "You'll be getting that later."

That's ominous, its going to eat into my sleep time. ૮(˶╥︿╥)ა

We walk off the beaten path. It is certainly not touristy, as it's covered with thorny shrubs and a few snakes that hissed as we walked by.

Like a hidden village in the woods, the forest opens, and there's a bustling Japanese style town.

"Wow,

Noctiva walks up to a random villager and bows. "こんばんは"

The villager turns to her with a confused expression. "We speak English."

"...oh." (◞‸ ◟)

We continue walking through he town, eventually arriving in a pretty garden.

"You must be Ms.Novak." A man with a red outfit suddenly appears beside Noctiva.

Dissiri and I both whip our head around in a moment of shock.

How did he do that? He didn't even make a noise!?

In my moment of shock, Dissiri is already going in for the kill shot; Dissiri spins her body as she attempts to kick the red outfit man in the face.

As though teleporting, the man effortlessly avoids the strike.

"I apol-" Before he can finish his sentence, Dissiri already has her pistol to his head; despite this, the masked man doesn't react.

"Ah! Bad Dissiri! Dont shoot the ninja man!" Noctiva frantically puts her hands up.

I can't see his face, but I know he's grinning under that mask; meanwhile Dissiri is giving her infamous death glare.

He gives a curt bow, "I apologize if my presence surprised you. I meant no ill will for our exalted guests. As you could imagine, introductions are not a strong suit of us, shinobi."

Hesitating for a moment, Dissiri finally concedes and holsters her pistol with a click of her tongue.

"No worries Ninja man, Dissiri here is the same way."

The man looks between us, stopping at me. "We were told of only two guests; who might this be?"

Noctiva wraps her arm around me. "Oh, my bad, I forgot to add my massage henchman to my list."

Usually this is the part where I make a scene and overreact to being called something as lowly as that. But, this is uncharacteristically smart of Noctiva, for multiple reasons; so I will act submissive.

The towering woman begins ruffling my hair. "Good boy."

Yes, I am. ૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა

The masked man looks at me for a moment, his mask has a goofy expression painted on it, yet under it, is a trained killer.

I barely see him move, but he throws his hand out. For a split second there's a kunai approaching my face, yet it stops in front of my eyes, inches away from impaling my face.

Dissiri holds her arm out before me, having caught the blade right before it stabbed my face.

Her eyes whip over to the red masked man. "You trying to die?"

The red man simply puts his hands up with a giggle. "My apologies, that blade must have slipped out of my hands."

So he is testing us, to see how strong we are. The fact that I practically lurched back, likely made my submissive henchmen persona a little more convincing.

I wish I could say that was planned... but, I genuinely would have had a blade between my eyes if Dissiri hadn't saved me. (╥ᆺ╥;)

"Phalenx Shogun eagerly awaits your arrival..." He presents his arm out, leading us down a hall. "...if you would."

We are lead into a huge room; the walls are decorated with Japanese designs etched into the wood.

In the center, an older man sits with his legs crossed. Despite his sea of wrinkles and sagging eye bags, he's colossal. Sitting there, he must be at least 7 feet tall, yet his body is built like a skeleton, as his skin desperately clings to his bones.

"Welcome." His words are slow, yet demand attention. The surrounding area is the only source of light, as though containing his presence.

Looking closer, a circle has been drawn around him with Japanese letters around it, as though a seal keeping his power contained.

Well, I see who the antagonist of this trip is going to be. (⩌_⩌ )

The red ninja appears next to Skeletron Prime and whispers into his ear. The skeletal man turns to us, his eyes sunk deep into his head as he gives me a run for my money in the eye bag competition.

"I am grateful that you have taken the time out of your day. It is rare that we have visitors, as we are a village who wishes to uphold the past while still being able to see the horizon."

I did find it strange, this isn't the same place I visited with my grandparents. This was a "secret" route that's unconnected to the touristy place.

Noctiva is surprisingly mature in situations like this, as she bows before him. "We're the ones that should be saying thank you. It's an honor to get the opportunity to learn more about your culture."

A girl in a gray ninja outfit is carrying a basket of fruits as she comes walking into the room from behind us.

Her foot catches a loose board, causing her to stumble and trip forward.

Her eyes widen, yet, with superhuman speed she manages to catch the fruits before any of them touch the ground, doing so at the cost of her own safety as she slams her face against the wood.

Lying there her eyes begin to water.

Walking over, I crouch down. "Are you alri-"

"IM SORRY!" She screams.

"Woah, what?"

"IM SORRY SHOGUN-SAMA! IM SORRY, IM SORRY!"

"What's-"

My eyes widen as a shadow suddenly looms beside me.

The colossal old man kneels down, his body creaks with every movement like a rusty car, yet I never even heard him get up from his seat.

His presence suffocates me, as though I have to ask for his permission to breathe. My body now matches the girls, as it violently trembles.

....