My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

"Down henchman!" Noctiva commands.

(⩌_⩌) "yes ma'am."

The red ninja bows before us. "Well, my name is Mercury, if you need anything, no matter how trivial, I am one shout away."

"Mmh kay, bye bye ninjago man." Noctiva waves.

Mercury doesn't even use a smoke bomb or anything, he straight up defies reality and vanishes with a cool hand sign.

Kneeling down we begin unpacking our belongings... except Noctiva, shes exploring the vast rooms and furniture while Dissiri unpacks both of their belongings.

Dissiri turns to me. "So, what do you think?"

I raise my eyebrow pointing at myself. "Me?"

"I don't see anyone else here."

"Oh, I'm just a little surprised you cared what I thought."

"Eh!? Wah- Just shut up and tell me!"

"Well, the red guy, Mercury, is terrifying, but I know you could beat him."

Dissiri's voice goes up an octave with excitement. "Really? You believe in me?"

I look at her with confusion. "Uh... yeah. I know first hand how strong you are."

She coughs in an attempt to lower her voice again. "Well, I- I'm glad you're smart enough to see that."

"And after being brutally murdered by a pastor, I've gotten pretty good at reading deceptive people; despite the mask, he has no ill intent for now."

...

".....What? You were killed by a pastor?"

"Long story. Regardless, the other guy, he-"

"He would have beat me." Dissiri interrupts through gritted teeth.

I slowly nod. "Your words, not mine. But... yeah."

She clenches her fist. "I have killed more people than I care to count, but he was different; A void of hope, the personification of despair."

(T_T) If Dissiri is hyping someone up, that means he's an actual badass...

"It's too dangerous for Noctiva to stay here. While we are supposedly their guest, I dont know how lenient they'll be for our faults."

"Its like you said, for now he doesn't seem to be scheming anything, but he does seem to be the emotionally unstable type, which is arguably more dangerous. But... I doubt you'll be able to convince Noctiva to leave."

"Gravy and Dizzi sitting in a tree... K...I...S...S...I...N...G. So, whatcha guys talking about?"

Dissiri whips around. "Ms.Novak, it's too dangerous here. We must leave." She states bluntly.

"Eh? Leave? But we just go here; I didn't even get to try their Django."

"I think you mean Dango." I correct.

"Oh... so it doesn't have to do with the movie."

"Uh...no, I don't think there was a single Asian person in that movie."

"Miss, please, this is serious!"

Noctiva waves it off. "You are such a stickler, Dizzi. Just because, red guy is strong doesn't mean they're going to kill me. If anything, it makes me feel safer from the prying eyes of paparazzis."

"It's not him, the other man."

Noctiva nods in agreement. "Yeah... that guy did look like he eats the souls of babies to make himself younger. But c'mon, he had such a strong sob story. Despite disliking the outside world, he is willing to have us in memory of his wife! He nearly had me in tears!" She pats both our shoulders. "How about this, we stay here for just two days?"

Dissiri looks hesitant, yet likely realizes there's no combating Noctiva's will. "Alright, but if you feel concerned or unsettled, don't even hesitate, I will carve out an escape no matter how many corpses it takes."

"So dramatic with your lines Dizzi, If we said pretty please with a cherry on top, I'm sure Mercury man would be happy to take us to the exit."

"Indeed, don't hesitate, if you wish to explore the nearby mountain range, I would be happy to set you up with guide." ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

( ⚆_⚆) Dissiri and I both whip our head around to see Mercury now sitting beside us, taking part in our huddle.

"AHH!" Noctiva lurches back into Dissiri's arms.

"I apologize if my appearance disturbs you miss; would you perchance like a different shinobi assigned to you?"

"Nearly gave me a heart attack, Mercury man. Dont just appear in a lady's private housing like that!"

"You speak the truth, but I returned to give you these." He holds out three different cloth shinobi shozoku.

Completely forgiving his intrusion, Noctiva lurches forward and grabs the blue one.

Dissiri holds her gun to Mercury's' face with a glare. "Give me one reason not to paint the walls red."

Noctiva ignores the gun aimed at the man and reaches for the dark green shinobi outfit and hands it to her. "Dizzi, try this one on. We're going to be girl boss ninjas!"

That left me with bright pink outfit. (ㅎ.ㅎ )

"Training starts early at around 4 AM, but Lord Phalinx said you needn't worry yourself with such-"

"You hear that, guys? 4AM, we will be up and at 'em. We're going to throwing stars and uh... ninja stuff!"

◖㈠ ω ㈠◗ "Eh... do all of us have to get up that early?" I sigh.

"Yep! You most of all henchman Gravy, I expect you to make me breakfast."

"There is no need to trouble yourself; we shall provide such amenities." Mercurys words are slow and controlled.

"Oh, you're spared this time, henchman"

Yippie. (¬_¬)

"Alright, well, thank you, red man Kai1. Sounds like we have an early morning, so you may leave... and don't reappear until morning." She leans in with a smirk. "and ignore any screaming you hear."

Mercury tilts his head. "Are you sure miss? I have been assigned for the sake of your safety."

Noctiva scoffs. "Don't worry, I've got the greatest body guard right here." She presents the growling, Dissiri.

"Hhhmm? ...Are you sure about that?" I can't see his face, but his words are spoken through a smug grin.

"That's it!" Dissiri aggressively yanks out her knife.

"A wolf will only tire itself if it reaches for the falcon." With one final bow, he vanishes.

"Mother fuc-" She deeply inhales, attempting to calm herself down.

"Now, now Dizzi, let's not get our panties in a bunch."

Aggressively sheathing her knife, she clicks her tongue.

"He's my kill." Dissiri leans towards me.

"All yours." Guess she's already preparing to kill joy our way through this.

Grabbing my stuff I begin to walk into the other room. "Alright, I hope you don't mind, I'm going to go take the othe-" I yawn with the utmost somberness. "The other room."

Noctiva sarcastically laughs. "Haha, very funny Graves. now come over here and give me a massage."

"Uh... what? I wasn't kidding."

"Well, obviously, you'll be sleeping with us."

"Is that so?" (－‸ლ)

"Very so. Now, strip and give me a massage."

LET ME SLEEP!

With a disgruntled grunt, I put my punny backpack down.

"I don't like your attitude, henchman." She states with that wealthy air to her words.

"I don't like the power complex you're abusing."

"I don't like the prices of pineapple martinis these days, but we don't all get what we want."

******

"When you said massage, I thought that was just code. So, do I really have to be naked when I do this? The blue balls are starting to hurt." My fingers press into her already loose shoulders. Using my weight, I steadily massage her silky body.

"Well, duh, that's the point. A gruff man forced to massage a frail and innocent maiden and do so with their bare skin exposed, our bodies press and mingle yet they must be patient."

"Where is this frail and innocent maiden you speak of?"

"Graves..." She growls.

"Ok, well, that much I figured, but is there a reason Dissiri has to be naked too?"

"hmm... no, figured I'd sprinkle a little bit of restrained exhibition into this concoction."

"Miss!?" Dissiri stands at attention beside us, as she covers her crotch.

"Oh hush Dizzi, I see the waterfall coming from your crotch."

"EH!?"

She's annoying and overconfident but as Noctiva lies on her stomach before me, her breasts press against the towel we laid out over the tatami mat. The minimal light from the candles shimmers off her shiny skin, making her thick body look like a glazed pastry.

Her body is perfectly moist with lotion and the curves of her ass are a perfect representation of the golden ratio. Every time I press into her skin, she lets out a restrained moan.

"You're pretty good at this Graves; do you do massages as your side hustle?"

"No, my grandpa insisted that learn. He said it's the key to any woman's heart."

"Your grandpa's a wise man."

"He was also a pervert and a criminal... those two faults are unrelated... I think."

As I massage her back, my erect cock lies sandwich between her supple ass. She sees my annoyance with this teasing and decides to take it even further; Shaking her ass, it jiggling like a perfect loaf of bread.

She kicks back her legs as she tilts her head back. "Naughty, naughty Graves, I feel something between my buttaí."

I'm seriously not in the mood. "Yeah it's my dick."

ninjago