My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

Cafune slams open the door to the penthouse empty handed as I luge in all of the beach gear.

"That was so much fun!" ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )Cafune cheers.

"No, it wasn't." (⩌_⩌)

My body feels like I ate the sun.

The air conditioning puffs its frosty air onto my tender burnt skin; it feels like heaven, as I can practically see the heat steaming from my body as though I were transforming into a titan.

Boketto comes scampering over. "Graves... that looks like it hurts. Do you need me to put some aloe on your entire naked body...as we're alone in a locked room together?"

"Yea, that sounds nice, but we can just do it over there."

"NO..." (⸝๑ ε ๑⸝⸝⸝｡) "it has to be in a room that locks from the outside."

"Oh...right... is this one of your magic tricks?"

She lurches back. "... um, yes! I call it Graves and I's 48 hour love making... trick!"

"Might want to work on that na-"

Cafune slaps my back. "Dont be such a wimp, Mr.tomato."

"Mother fu-" Deeply inhaling, I control my anger like nen. I begin scheming my revenge, her ass my hand.

I angrily mumble under my breath. "Gonna make your ass a tomato."

"I love tomatoes!"

"Hmm? Then you're going to love this kind."

****

Since coming back, Cafune has evaded every attempt at me bringing up her amnesia. Her airheaded act now seems a little more dismal than it does annoying.

My thoughtless thinking is interrupted as I hear a knock on the door.

it seems she's not the only one who can't take off their mask...

৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻) "Haha! Graves, I got your text; It seems you finally understand my excellence!"

Scylla stands before me with her infamously confident pose; with one hand on her hip and the other pointing at me, she smirks.

(⩌_⩌) "...right..."

I proceed to the close the door on her.

I hear a muffled gasp through the door. "Eh!? Graves?! Dont close a door on a goddess!"

"Then how can I help you?"

She shoves her phone into my face. "The text! The good deal on the apartment you promised me!?"

"I was offering that to a kind woman named Scylla, not a goddess. But, I think there's a church nearby tho-"

"Okay, okay, I get it." She pouts, dropping her dominative air and replacing it with a more natural one. "Sorry."

"Whoa! When did you get here, Scylla?" I jest.

"Ha ha, very funny." She states sarcastically.

My expression shifts from a look of indifference to a kinder, warmer smile. "Well, I'm glad you came."

"When I came to this apartment, I was a little shocked that someone like you lived in a high end place like this."

I-_-)"Is that a compliment or an insult?

She gives a playful giggle. "That did sound like an insult; didn't it? But, no, I was just truly shocked."

"Well, save your gasps for after I show you your place."

Leading her out to the hallway, I guide her down the hall.

"So... you're a landlord?"

"Yea."

"To think someone as evil as a landlord could be heroic enough to save someone's life."

"Hmm... No. Don't get it twisted, I am evil."

She gives a playful chuckle, punching my arm. "Evil enough to save a woman and child?"

If you saw the corpses and people I have killed... "I just don't want you to get the wrong idea about me."

(╭ರ_•́) "So what, you're an evil Twink?"

"I'm not a fucking Twink!" ( •̀_•́ ) My body is passed around a group of 16 different woman!

Her expression shifts from its tomboyish nature to a fragile and cautious one. "In truth, I purely came her out of courtesy. I really just wanted to say... thank you."

"Thank you?"

"I'm still not sure who I am, but I think I have a better understanding of... life. That was only possible because of you."

"oh... yea, I'm just glad you were strong enough to hear those words and continue on."

There's a silence as we continue down the hall filled only by our pattering footsteps on the carpet.

"Anyway, tell me what you think of the place."

Before she can gasp in shock, I open the door, flooding her confusion and excitement infused with possibility.

As the door swings open, the reflective white floor glistens the forgotten sunset, the curved window overlooks the city in the direction of the beach.

"Gra- Graves... this can't really be it..."

The orange ball we call the sun is cut by the horizon as it recedes; the clouds are filled orange like fluffy pancakes as they float past.

The rays of sunlight beam almost as brightly as Scylla's face. Like an energetic dog, her body shakes with excitement.

"Well, what are you doing standing here, go check out your new apartment?"

Her eyes widen as she looks at me. "Re- really!?"

Every time I do this dramatic reveal of their fancy and expensive penthouses, it feels like I'm on one of those reality shows; like Extreme Makeover, showing the happy, happy couple their new rennovated house.

Except she's single and nihilistic.

Rushing past the fancy furniture and expensive home, she goes out to the balcony, giving a gasp as she watches the sunset.

Humans are so different, yet the one thing we all have in common is our love for pretty views. I'm not sure which part of human evolution required this trait, and I like not knowing. Some things are best left to the fantasy of the ignorant unknown.

"Pretty isn't it?"

She puffs out her chest "I know I am, but don't think your flattery will get your far."

( ¬‎ ࡇ,¬ ) "I was talking about the sunset."

"Oh."

She's a lifeguard, so I can't exactly charge her the prices I do for others. Not that I really care, I have enough to live comfortably and pay for maintenance; I've never been one that strives for sports cars and luxury clothes.

Then again...

I've never actually considered it. A sports car sounds kinda cool...

Actually, no, with my luck, it's just going to explode if I drive it down the freeway.

Her expression shifts, her excitement becomes strained, as though wishing the moment wouldn't end. "I was going to simply look around, and respectfully turn you down... Yet, after seeing this apartment... I really want the place..." Her cheerful expression shifts as she strains a smile. "But you can't be serious about the 1.5k a month... right? Theres gotta be a catch."

I put my hands up with a sigh. "You got me; there is."

She looks down, physically tensing her body as though preparing for the impact of disappointment.

Slowly raising her head, she strains a fake chuckle. "Haha, I knew it was too goo-

"You have to be my nihilist buddy."

Her head springs up with utter confusion as her voice raises an octave. "Your... nihilist buddy?!"

"How about once a week we go to a coffee place and talk about the meaning of life or some deep shit like that?"

Her look of shock softens to a warm smile with a chuckle. "The meaning of life is a little too deep for our first date, lets start somewhere simpler, like talking about our week."

"I can agree with that."

She's one of the few people who I feel like I can actually talk about this kind of stuff with; most of the others are too caring or carefree to have a serious and intelligent conversation about it.

"Well... if that's really the catch then, I agree to your terms. I look forward to learning more about you, Graves. It seems you plan to save me for a second time, for that, I thank you."

Oh shit... forgot to tell her that she's gonna have a roommate. As she looks at me with those dreamy eyes and the romantic air we've created, now doesn't seem to be the best time. Well... everyone likes surprises, right?

"What do you say to dinner?"

Her eyes widen with excitement. "tonight?"

"I just figured you don't have any food in the fridge, so you could come ov-"

"Yes!"

****

For the first time in my life I was trying to be kind, and this is how I'm rewarded.

Scylla and I stand in the doorway of my penthouse. The room is a mess with pillows, wrappers, pillows scattered all around.

Boketto is attempting to glue a lamp back together, and Cafune is shouting at the 2 characters on the television. Ammit lies on the pillow nest bed with her face buried in my briefs.

Lifting her face my underwear Ammit jumps out of bed. She comes barreling over with her arms out. "Gravy! Your back! I've been sniffing your underwear for the last hour and a half, I think I've finally memorized your smell, so I'll be able to track you down if you ever go missing."

"Are you a blood hound?!"

"Well, I am your bitch, and a hound is a type of dog, soooo in a way..."

Scylla side eyes me with an indescribable emotion. "Graves..."

"I swear, this aint on me; she's a rescue."

"Who is this bimbo anyway?"

"Her name is Scylla; she's a guest staying over for dinner. So please be nice to her."

"I dont know why I asked, I don't care. But I do want to fuck after dinner."

Scylla's eyes widen. "eh?!"

She has zero couth. "What she's trying to say is..." There is no way I can contort this to sound good. "She wants to fucking sleep! She loves sleeping."

Ammit scoffs. "Sleep with your dick in my-"

"Alright! Boketto, did you order the food like I asked?"

"Well, I was ordering Chinese food like you asked, but... Cafune sorta took the phone and tried to speak Chinese with the man. And... I don't think she actually knows any Chinese."

Cafune bows, making a very offensive facial expression. "Watashi wa densen o taberu no ga daisuki desu"

My god...

My head hurts.

"So we got pizza; sorry Graves."

With a sigh, I slouch; I'm not sure why, I should be used to disappointment. "Again? We get pizza every night. I swear I've got to take you guys to a salad bar."

Cafune scoffs, waving me away. "No thank you, Gravy, I don't drink."

"Firstly- ... nevermind. Secondly, yes you do."

"Do not!"

"Then whose beer bottles always litter the floor?"

"Don't yell at me, that's Ammit!" Cafune accusingly points.

Ammit lunges at me, wrapping her squishy body around me. "You can't blame me! Do you know how hard it is to go all day without you? I have to drink my loneliness away!"

Scylla looks at me with an almost pitying confusion. "For a nihilist, you have quite a... lively life."