My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

After that identity crisis, Cafune has been acting like she doesn care, putting on her airheaded act once more. Every time I try to push the topic of this amnesia, she brushes it away with a nonsensical joke.

"Cafune, why are you ac-"

"You there!" A voice behind us shouts in a commanding tone.

With a raised eyebrow, I turn. "Me?"

Before me is a woman with long red, white and blue hair. She's wearing a lifeguard swimsuit, with red thigh highs and white compression sleeves. As she accusingly points at me, as the glisteningly golden whistle around her neck bounces between her large breasts due to her theatrical motions; it gives off a glare which blinds my pupils into submission.

The woman's eyes narrow as she points at me. ( ≖ - ≖) "I saw what you did."

My eyes widen. Oh, shit, she must have seen me and Cafune doing it in the rocks before!

"I saw how you brushed your teeth left to right."

"...huh?"

Her eyes shake, as the words she speaks tremble. "You monster, trying to act innocent, but I know what I saw."

"uh... how do you know that?"

She begins manically laughing, putting her hand over her face. "I didn't, but I just made you admit to the crime! haha!"

"Oh... uh... right?"

"Well, I should introduce myself bef-"

My eyes flatten. "Let me guess... Scylla Sanders."

Her blue eyes widen as she lets out a gasp. "Ho- how did you know?!"

(¬_¬) "I'm a mind reader."

"Seriously?! I need to think about what I think about before I think it." She jolts back, pointing angerly at me. "Hey, when did I give you permission to read my mind!"

"I'm not actu-"

She suddenly throws a tiny plastic shovel at me. "I don't hear enough submission in your voice! That must mean you dont know who I am; for that, I pity your ignorance. But, fortunately, you have been blessed with an omniscient and forgiving superior being."

( *T_T) "Is that so?"

"Very so." She begins giving a cocky laugh, placing her hand on her chest. "I am Scylla Sander, goddess of the sea, commander of the ocean, and the right hand of god itself!"

"How can you be a goddess then also be just the right hand?"

"Becaus- well- I'm just that special, duh!"

"...kay.... sooo can we help you? Or are you just here to block our rays?"

She lurches back. "Eh!? You know I'm a goddess and yet why aren't you bowing to me?!"

"I'm a little past the point of going to heaven, so I would just be wasting both god's and my own time by praying." Especially after I killed two people and dissolved an unknown number of corpses.

Bored with the conversation, I get up. "Okay... well I'm going to get anything to eat. Cafune, do you want anything?"

"Hotdog!" She cheers.

Making my way towards the tiki bar, I'm starting to think they won't have hotdogs.

Like a lost dog, Scylla comes trotting along behind. Turning to the bartender, I raise my eyebrow. "Uh... do you have hotdogs here?"

The man turns to me raising his eyebrow momentarily. "Hotdogs?"

I shake my head. "Sorry, you're right; I dont know why I thought a bar would have hotdogs."

"We do."

"...oh, really?"

Suddenly a smirk widens on the mans face as his eyes narrow, he reaches towards the counter and grabs a moldy bun, lowering it towards his unzipped pants.

Huh...(◉_◉)

"I have a nice Big hotdog just for yo-"

Without letting him finish his sentence, I quickly whip away, marching towards any direction that was not that bartender.

Scylla is still scampering beside me. "Hey, didn't you want a hotdog?"

"Certainly not that kind." (ㅎࡇㅎ)

"Anyway, I need to write you up a ticket." She points.

"A ticket?"

"That's right, for sitting on the beach without sunscreen."

A lifeguard with a power trip complex, there's a first for everything. "... I apologize officer, I didn't realize that was a crime."

"That's what they all say, but you should save your excuses for the judge." She pulls a pen and notepad out from her bosom; profusively writing on it; she tears it off and hands it to me.

It reads: By willfully neglecting to apply a topical ultraviolet radiation-absorbing agent, you have subjected yourself to legal detainment under the jurisdiction of dermatological misconduct and solar exposure negligence.

"Huh..."

Despite her bratty personality, she towers over me, at least 6,2. Standing there, she gives a carefree shrug, "Or you could just pay me one thou- two thou- four thousand dollars in cash right now, and I would be willing to look the other way." (~￣³￣)~

(⩌_⩌) "Arnt you a generous one."

She dramatically sighs while shaking her head. "Yes, it seems I truly am, sometimes a little too kind for my own good."

Once again ignoring her, I turn away, making my way to an actual food stand where I toss the ticket in the trash. "Can I get one hot dog?" For some reason I turn to Scylla, "Do you want one?"

"Wha- what about my 5 thousand dollars you owe me?!"

"Alright, just that one-"

"Wait! Wait! I want one!" She blurts at me.

"Then can I have two hotdogs?"

The older man running the food cart doesn't respond momentarily before smirking at me. "Sure, I have a nice BIG hotdog just for you"

(ㆆ _ ㆆ) I wanna go home.

I begin to turn away; to my surprise, the man actually pulls out two abnormally large hotdogs. Cautiously reaching out my hand, I take them from him, handing him a five.

Out of curiosity, I lean in. "Do you know who runs that tiki bar?" I ask the old man as I point towards the direction we came from.

"The tiki bar? That place has been abandoned for years. I've heard rumors that some homeless guy has made a home out of the place. The city should really do something about it."

"....is that so?" (￣□￣; )

We begin walking back towards Cafune. Holding out the hot dog to Scylla, she snatches it with a gleeful smile and starry eyes.

She licks her drooling lips as she brings the sausage up to her mouth.

She wraps her glossy lips around the base of the hotdog.

with a gulp I can't help but feel a little flustered.

Wrapping her tongue around long sausage, saliva drips from her lips.

My head is filled with perverse images.

My eyes squint as wait ...something seems off.

At first it looked a little seductive... but... she is taking a lot of that...

She begins coughing as she continues trying to ea- scarf down the weiner.

Is she a snake?! "Chew your damn food, woman?!"

Patting her back, she coughs up the hotdog from her gullet.

"What the hell was that?!"

Her eyes water as she wipes her tears. "How do people eat those?"

"Have you never chewed your food?!"

She tilts her head, still coughing. "Why would I chew what I'm about to eat? It would destroy the food before it gets in my stomach?"

.....

ヘ（.□°）ヘ What even?!

"But..." Her eyes glisten as the sun reflects of the tears that have welled up. She looks up at me with a look of idolization. "You saved me."

"From your own stupidity!"

She bashfully looks away before looking down at me. "I've never done this... but... do you want to share this food with me.

I would rather not deep throat a hotdog with a random woman...so, yea, "I'll pass." I say with a strained smile.

Grabbing a fork and a knife, we sit down at a table and I quite literally, cut a grown woman's food into bite sized pieces for her.

She opens her mouth as if expecting me to spoon it in. I swear, next thing she's going to ask me to feed her like a bird.

Tucking her hair behind her ear, she blushes as she chomps down on the fork I have outstretched.

Her expression shifts as she smiles at me, radiating a warmth that even the sun couldnt compete with. "Thank you for doing this. I suppose I should ask what your name is? It feels a little silly that I am just now asking, so I apologize."

Despite it being a bit strange, if you ignore her bratty power trip attitude, the idea of feeding a woman that's taller than me is kind of adorable.

And what's with this personality shift?! She's a wannabe angel.

I can't help but blush as I lean back. "Uh... my name is Graves."

Still, as I cut the hot dog, I begin to wonder, was... that it? Did I save her?

Well, I've learned my lesson; no more jinxing my destiny!

Suddenly there's a scream from across the beach. "JIMMMMYY!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Scylla drops everything and bolts towards the commotion. Meanwhile, with a less enthusiastic sigh, I pick myself up from the bench.

"That's not even fair! I didn't even say anything!" I shout, clenching my fist to the sky at my bulletin board god.