Lament of the Slave

“The night still long, cub,” Esu grumbled at me, and like me, he looked at the two moons. “Rest, collect your thoughts. When ready, train more.”

His words may have sounded in my head like I had a choice, but the meaning behind them was different. I was supposed to regain strength and my wits to be able to continue my training. My torment wasn’t over yet, just as I feared. 

But to be honest, all the concerns I had so far, training included, seemed a little less important at the moment compared to what I had just gone through.

“The mothers and I need to discuss,” stated the King of the Woods, startling me with his words that made me wonder why the bloody hell did he even tell me that? “Many things have happened. Many will, cub.”

After these words, Esu turned to the mothers and stopped paying attention to little me as the grumbling of their discussions echoed through the clearing. A clear signal it was none of my business. Yet, I couldn’t shake the bad feeling I had. Did they talk about me? For all my curiosity, I didn’t dare listen in.

In the end, I chose not to burden my mind with what was beyond my control anyway and focused back on the night sky, envying the stars their carefree nature. All they had to do was shine.

Not long after that, my view of them and the two glowing moons that seemed to be a fitting symbol for what I had become, or rather what I was, got blocked when Deckard stepped in front of me. The urge to growl at him, to tell him to get out of the way, quickly vanished when I saw his look.

He knelt in front of me, masterfully avoiding the vomit, put his hand on my shoulder, and looked me in the eyes.

“What happened, girl? Talk to me.” He said out loud without using the connection, his gruff voice sounding both serious and worried. For a second, I even considered whether he had [Calming Touch] skills as Marcus. He reminded me a lot of him at that moment as Marcus also put his hand on my shoulder when using the skill. No such thing happened, yet it was oddly comforting to know he was here.

It was obvious where his concerns came from. If he hadn’t noticed Esu’s aura, it must have seemed out of nowhere my beastification reverted. Then I asked him if he perceived me as a beast. I started shaking shortly after that and eventually fell to my knees. Not to mention, I dumped the contents of my stomach on the forest floor in front of me.

“I’m fine,” I said quickly to ease his concerns, partly out of fear that he might do something unnecessary. I doubted he would attack Esu because of me, although it would be interesting to see. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re still shaking,” he pointed out. 

I nodded, aware that even though the dizziness and jarring ringing of the system’s notifications was gone, I couldn’t stop trembling.

“I’ll be fine. I just need time.”

“Okay...was that the big guy?” Deckard asked a little more seriously, almost as if he was assessing the threat. “What did he do to you?”

I was a little taken back by his behavior. “No, it wasn’t Esu...well, not really. He made me change back to this, but that’s all.”

“Go on,” he urged me. His unusually serious tone really threw me off. Where did his carefree demeanor go? Where were his sarcastic remarks? That’s what I needed right now, not this stern man. However as I thought about how to explain what had happened to me, I realized he was probably just as thrown off by what had happened as I was and simply needed information to assess the danger. I assumed the Deckard I was seeing just now must have been the one who was conquering the labyrinth solo. Even he couldn’t afford to be laid back all the time. 

So I took a deep breath and told him about everything that went down.

Oddly enough, he listened without interrupting me, nodding occasionally. When I finished, I was worried about his reaction to my new self. After all, I was still having trouble taking it all in. I was even prepared to be seen with disgust.

Deckard soaked it in, nodded to himself, thought some more, but when he focused on me again, I found no revulsion in his eyes. “Just to make sure I heard correctly, your race has changed?”

“Um-hmm,” I hummed with caution, my ears making a nodding motion. “According to the system, I’m now a Human/Beast.”

He smirked. “For a second there, I thought it was time to get out. I wasn’t expecting...this.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled in apology. None of this was my intention. I was going to spend this evening in my bed, contemplating what mistakes I had made in the labyrinth, not to make life-changing decisions.

“You have nothing to apologize for, girl,” he said, gripping my shoulder tighter, reassuring me. “Honestly, I thought there was little that could surprise me anymore, but tonight just keeps getting better and better.”

“Expect the unexpected,” I reminded him of his own words.

“Ouch, hard to do that one, that’s for sure” he took it with ease. “Good to know you were listening, though.”

Yeah, I listened to his advice. After all, I wanted to survive, and he seemed to have experience with how to. How else would he have reached his level? Still, I was glad the less serious Deckard was back.

“Does this happen often? That someone change their race?” I asked him, curious to know. There was still a chance that it wasn’t such a rare occurrence as I thought it might be. Seekers had to encounter all sorts of creatures and magic on their ventures into the depths of the labyrinth, right?

“How often, she asks?” Deckard shook his head at the ridiculousness of my question. “That’s the stuff of legends. Seriously, I’ve never heard of anyone changing race.”

“R...really?” I stammered, surprised when he mentioned legends.

“Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. There are things out there that can turn you to stone, but does something like that count as a race change? What about liquefaction, turning into a tree? I’ve seen that happen to people. Legends? The most recent one involving a race change? Hmm...if I recall, it is about a necromancer who ran rampant on Eleaden. I don’t know if the undead can be compared to your case, though. You’re still alive.”

Deckard took a breath and thought. “Evolution, perhaps? They say some class evolution can affect your race. Or rather, make it evolve with it. There are legends about the High Humans. Not so sure they’re true. I went through two class evolutions, and I’m still just a human.”

“Oh,” I breathed out, and it was all I could muster, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information. The fact that my race change was most likely a quite rare occurrence didn’t add to my peace of mind. It made me even more fearful because if this information got into the wrong hands, it could make me all the more interesting in the eyes of people like Dungreen. I didn’t even want to think about the implications of that.

Deckard gripped my shoulder tighter again. “Take what I say with a grain of salt, girl. I’m not much of an explorer. What I saw of the world were the battlefields I was sent to when I was in the army. Besides, I’ve spent the last few years in the depths of Falens Cry, not in the library.”

I chuckled. “I love the library in Castiana.”

That earned me a weird look from him, which made me feel the need to explain myself. So pointing to my ears, I added. “It’s quiet in there.”

Luckily, Deckard was no fool like Tate and understood what I meant. He even smiled with the realization I wasn’t a bookworm.

“I’d hate for my race to change twice in a row,” I remarked on my impending class evolution, which Deckard mentioned and given my level lay heavy on my mind. “I’m already more of a weirdo than I’d like to be.”

“Highly unlikely, but as a wise man once said. Expect the unexpected,” he returned my previous remark with a grin. “What’s so wrong with being different, I find you interesting. And don’t blush, girl. Not the way you think. I was looking for someone to teach, among humans and terrans. Once I even considered a dwarf, yet unexpectedly found one in you.”

“You mean...?” I paused breathlessly, taken aback by the fact that he still wanted me as his student of whatever after all that happened.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Yes, despite what you pulled off in that last fight and what you are, I want you as my student or apprentice if you want.”

When he said that, my heart skipped a beat in excitement. Yet my feelings were mixed. My proving myself to him worked out, hence my delight. On the other hand, to be honest, I didn’t know much about Deckard. At least nothing for sure. A solo seeker from Castiana, knew Razso, was most likely in the military with Captain Rayden and Marcus, damn high level. That was it all!

“Don’t answer me, not yet,” he said as if anticipating my hesitation. “Let’s leave it for later. It’s good not to rush such decisions.”

I nodded silently, glad for his attitude. However, I couldn’t help my curiosity. “Deckard, why are you looking for a student anyway?”

“Oh, that’s easy. I’m stuck,” he told me without hesitation as if it was no secret, and maybe it wasn’t. I barely knew him hence my uncertainty to be taught by him. Yet despite what he said, I failed to see what he meant.

“...and you need someone like me to help you?” I asked, not believing what I was saying. “I see your level as a three damn question marks.”

“I’m not stuck somewhere in a labyrinth, like many believe. I don’t need you to help me defeat the monsters down there. I’m stuck in some of my skills. Well, someone who knows more about skills than I do advises me to look at them from a different perspective. One way to do that is to teach them to someone,” he explained calmly, gesturing to me.

“I’m [Slave],” I pointed out immediately, unsure if he noticed.

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”

Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I sighed to myself. As illogical as it may have seemed, I knew too little about class and skills to argue with him on the subject. He must have had a reason, hopefully a good one.

“Let’s leave that for later, too,” he suggested. When I nodded in agreement, he smiled. “Feeling better? You stopped shivering.”

I did. I felt better, not so weak anymore as some of my strength came back. 

Without waiting for my answer, he patted me on the shoulder and stood up, stretching his stiff legs. I wasn’t sure he had to do that on his level, yet I refrained from commenting.

“How about we take a few steps aside? What do you say?” he suggested, motioning to the contents of my stomach lying on the forest floor. I couldn’t help but agree. This wasn’t the best place to collect my thoughts as Esu suggested I do. So I got to my feet and walked over to Deckard, who I stood next to, looking out over the clearing as he did.

“So level ninety-five, huh? Two levels in one day, not bad,” he commented on my level-up after a moment of silence, changing the subject.

I grinned. “Three, actually.”

“Oh, someone’s boasting, but come to think of it, I was told you were level 92 [Slave]. I’m impressed, girl.” Deckard said, no hint of mockery in his voice. He really meant it.

“It would be impressive if I knew how I did it,” I replied, thinking about the level-ups. The first one was easy. Without wanting to, I fulfilled my master’s wish when I killed one of his slavers. Rutledge wanted to get rid of the man.

The second level-up was puzzling. It could have been because of the last order I got from Rutledge. However, I didn’t believe it. “Do whatever you want” was, in my opinion, too broad an order, and I certainly didn’t fulfill his wishes after I got it. Who I listened to was Aspen when she asked me to call mossbears, and I did. I pushed past my limits, gave in to the beast while the thought fuddler tried to destroy my mind.

Was it that simple, though? Just following orders, no matter who gives them? It would explain the third level-up too, though. Esu asked me to accept what I am, and even though it was extremely difficult for me, I did. And it wasn’t just that. I trained the way he wanted me to. Well, then there was Deckard who told me I needed to practice my skills, that this was a great opportunity, and I went to my limits, did my best, even suffered for it.

Back in the library, Mr. Sandoval told me you have to look for challenges regardless of class, not settle for what you have if you want to level-up. Even though I had no idea how much I had to push my limits, I think I did meet that part of the equation.

The second part was my master. I still needed him, figuratively speaking. Not the collar around my neck, but someone to give me orders. Did Aspen, Deckard, and Esu become my masters here then?

Looking at the massive ancient beast, I could tell right away that I saw Esu as someone whose words are obeyed, no questions asked. Deckard, standing next to me, on the other hand, was more approachable. Yet even though he didn’t make me feel that much respect like Esu, I still considered him someone very experienced, my trainer for tonight at least.

So yes, I could see those two as replacements for my master.

“Why are you looking at me like that, girl?” asked Deckard, when without realizing it, I stared at him for more than a moment. “Have you figured out why you leveled-up?”

“Sort of...not really,” I admitted, embarrassed to be caught staring.

He looked at me. “There were a few [Slaves] in the army. They had no problem leveling up, do you know why?”

Remembering that Captain Rayden mentioned this, I had to ask. “Why?”

“There’s a set chain of command in the army. They knew to whom they were subordinate, whose orders to obey,” he said.

“So you’re saying I should find my commander? Someone I’ll consider above me, more superior to me?” I asked, trying not to let my displeasure at the idea show in my voice.

“Of course not, girl,” he said firmly, almost as if scolding me for thinking so. “That would be like telling you to find a new master.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. That’s what I thought he was telling me.

“Although, in a sense, many of them found them in their commanders,” Deckard admitted, musing about it. “But that’s not what I’m telling you to do. It’s the easy way, sure. Just join the army, the city guards, or the company, and you have your superior, someone you have to obey. I’m guessing you don’t want that. Do you?”

“No, I don’t,” I said, puzzled and thinking about the offer Captain Rayden made me. When he put it that way, it didn’t sound so attractive to become a city guard.

Deckard smirked at my response. “There was one who, no matter what he did, didn’t gain a level. He was young, pissed off at the world, rebelling against authority, and that was his problem. He didn’t see his commanders as someone who deserved his respect, someone he should listen to.”

I paused. “Are you talking about yourself?”

“For Traiana’s sake, no. I was his squad leader back then,” Deckard retorted and shook his head in disbelief at my question.

“Oh,” I sighed. For a moment there, I foolishly thought he was like me, a [Slave]. It would make more sense that he wanted me to be his apprentice. Well, I was wrong. “So you’re saying I have to see this person as someone I should listen to?”

Deckart scratched his beard. “Have to and should aren’t the right words. It sounds too forceful like you don’t have a choice. Well, in a sense, yes, you should, but only if you feel like it. You have to decide for yourself whether the other person seems like someone worth listening to.”

Wasn’t that what I said? Somehow it made sense, though. Except for Aspen. Did I see that guardswoman as someone I should listen to or even have respect for? I didn’t. Perhaps it was subconscious? Or, at the time, I saw her suggestion to call in the mossbears as the best solution.

Whatever the answer was, I was so glad that my level-ups were not the result of me finding a new master or people fulfilling the role of him. They were men and the beast which, whether knowingly or subconsciously, I considered worth listening to.