Working Out Issues

"I'm really nervous. This is kinda my first time," I said.

"What, getting dinner with friends?" Jeremy asked.

"No!" I blushed, "I do that all the time! With my friends from college. I mean, not so much since I graduated. But with my friends from work. Um. I guess not so much since I started working from home..."

"It's okay," Jeremy said, "I know what you meant. Parent Trapping someone."

"Yeah," I exhaled, "Parent Trapping someone."

Jeremy and I were standing by the bar in the restaurant we had picked out for Adam and Ashanti's date. It was formal enough to be kinda romantic, but casual enough that it would make sense to get a table together when we oh-so-randomly bumped into each other.

It was also a vegan restaurant, which we decided was a perfect conversation starter. One of Adam's clients was vegan, and Adam, being Adam and being fucking amazing as always, had gotten really into the nutritional side of vegan cooking. I loved that about him. Before I got to know him, I would have assumed he was the type of guy who made fun of vegans. But Adam was never dismissive like that. I sighed. Ashanti was gonna love him.

"Does Ashanti know much about vegan cooking?" I had asked Jeremy, when we were picking the restaurant, "Like, is Adam just going to dominate that conversation?"

Jeremy laughed, "Trust me, that won't be an issue."

It better not be, I thought to myself as I scanned the restaurant, looking for Jeremy's roommate. I had been hyping up tonight in my head for what felt like months, and I had no idea what I would do if it went wrong. I really needed Adam to get together with someone, before things between us went too far and seriously screwed up our friendship.

"There she is," Jeremy smiled. He waved over my shoulder, "Hey Dennis Quaid!"

I turned to see Ashanti approaching. Oh, wow. I knew she was pretty, but I had only actually met her once, at the store, when I had way too much on my mind. Seeing her out in the wild, she was stunning. She was wearing a black jumpsuit with a halter top, showing off her cleavage and lithe upper body. Silver jewellery glimmered elegantly against her dark skin. Fuck. She was hot, really hot. I felt a surge of envy, almost like how I used to feel when I looked at Adam's perfect body. Except that feeling had been tinted with longing. This felt a little more... jealous.

I wondered if Adam would like how I looked in a jumpsuit.

"Hey Lindsay Lohan!" said Ashanti. She kissed Jeremy on the cheek and turned to me, "And hello other Lindsay Lohan. Have you figured out which one of you is Hallie and which is Annie? God, I haven't seen that movie in ages. I wonder if it holds up? We should get together and watch it some time. Do you think it's on Netflix? Oh my god, I bet my mom still has the VHS. I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid. I'm Ashanti, by the way. It's so lovely to meet you. You must be Jeremy's special friend I've heard so much about. Mel, right?"

"Regular friend, Sha," Jeremy said drily, "And maybe take a breath, okay? You're gonna scare him."

Ashanti blushed, "Sorry! Jeremy always tells me I talk too much. I've been trying to stop. It's super hard though. Especially at work. God, people in this area don't know how to dress, I swear. And nobody really wants to listen, either, so I feel like I have to cram so much information into every second so that something will break through--"

"Sha," Jeremy said.

"Sorry!" Ashanti winced, "Hi. I'm Ashanti. Nice to meet you!"

"Um," I said. My mind was still racing to catch up, "You too! I'm Mel. I love your outfit."

She smiled, "Thank you! That's a very interesting coat you're wearing."

I blushed. Under the coat, I was wearing an outfit that I was pretty confident was unisex, but standing in front of the woman who helped Adam buy it for me, I suddenly felt very self-conscious. I pulled my coat tighter.

"Thanks," I said, "I was just really cold. With the snow and all."

"Totally," Ashanti nodded, "Well, they have coat check by the door, if you want to..."

She gestured towards the counter.

"Yeah, you're making a scene," Jeremy smirked, "Coat indoors? Very avant-garde."

I gulped and reluctantly unzipped my coat. I was just wearing skinny jeans and an over-sized knit top. In the mirror I thought I looked kinda cute, but not too suspiciously feminine. But I was pretty sure I saw Ashanti raise an eyebrow, and when I returned from the coat check, her and Jeremy were talking in lowered voices. They stopped when I approached.

"So, oh my god," she said, "First of all, you look so great right now. Seriously love the outfit. Second of all, you have to tell me what the deal with your roommate is. He seems like such a genuinely lovely guy. And so hot, of course, but hot guys are whatever. But it's so amazing that he went to all that effort to buy all those clothes for his girlfriend. Did he tell you about that? That's so thoughtful, right? I've never had a boyfriend who would do that for me. We spent like two hours on it. By the way, dream customer. But he has a girlfriend, right? That's who he was shopping for?"

"Huh," Jeremy said oddly.

"Oh, right!" I said. I had planned for this, "That was actually for his sister. They're really close. He probably just said he had a girlfriend because he's so used to getting hit on all the time when he goes out."

"Huh," Jeremy said again.

"Oh," said Ashanti, "That's so funny. I guess that makes sense. He must be.... really close to his sister."

"He is," I said quickly.

"No, like," Ashanti shook her head, "The way he was talking about her? Really close."

Jeremy looked at me.

"He's not fucking his sister," I said.

Ashanti relaxed, "Okay. Good. Because, honestly? I cannot go through that again."

"What?" I laughed.

Ashanti rolled her eyes, "Ugh. Don't even get me started. Long story short, worst blind date of my life. I won't say any more. Okay, I will. She showed up halfway through the date. That's all I'm gonna say. One more thing, we were at a petting zoo. And she tried to fight me. That's it. I'll tell you the rest later. When we watch The Parent Trap. Hey, is that him?"

She was looking over my shoulder, back towards the front door. I turned. Sure enough, Adam had just walked through the door.

"Oh, shit," I said, "Okay, definitely finish that story later! I'll be right back."

I met Adam right as he finished checking his coat. He turned to me and smiled. God, he looked amazing. Like, even without being attracted to him at all, he was honestly so much hotter than Ashanti. Literally no contest. Part of me had been worried he was going to come straight here from the gym, but that was obviously far from the truth. He had clearly dressed up for the occasion, which was a little weird considering I had told him it would just be the two of us. But I wasn't complaining. Adam was wearing a dark blazer over a button-up shirt and slacks. The top few buttons of his shirt were undone, showing just a hint of his muscular chest. He had shaved, and styled his hair, and...

"Are you wearing cologne?" I asked, "You smell amazing."

Adam smiled bashfully, "Thanks. After seeing you dressed up this morning, I figured I had to step up my game. Speaking of which... can I tell you something dumb?"

"Do you ever tell me anything else?" I said. Adam grinned.

"I was kind of hoping that you would be wearing that dress again," he admitted.

"Adam!" I laughed, "Dude, you know I can't dress like that in public."

"I think you could, dude! You seriously pull it off. And if anyone gave you shit about it," he smirked, "I would totally fight them for you."

An image flashed in my head. Me and Adam at some bar together, him in his little suit, me in My Dress. Laughing. Sharing a drink. I shivered. Why was that so enticing?

I bit my lip, "Well... thank you. Maybe someday. But right now, that dress needs a wash."

Adam's face fell, "Oh shit. I thought I saved it?"

"Oh no," I giggled, "It's just sweaty as hell. But you definitely saved me from having a super awkward conversation with the dry-cleaners. I hope you're not disappointed with my outfit, then."

Adam smiled, "No way. You look perfect."

I laughed, "Yeah, yeah. This is probably a bit more appropriate for the weather, anyway. It's freezing tonight. Way too cold for a dress like that. "

"I know," Adam looked at me shyly, "I was thinking maybe you could wear, like, maybe a pair of stockings under it..."

I flashed back to the image of me and Adam at the bar. In the vision, I was now wearing thigh-highs under the dress. I crossed my legs, giving Adam just a glimpse of the lace at the top. He leaned forward...

"Oh my god," I giggled, "You did say you bought lingerie, didn't you?"

"Maybe tonight you could try it on?" Adam suggested.

"Adam!" I gasped in faux-shock. The idea actually sounded ...very tempting, "Do you really think I could pull off lingerie?"

Adam gave me a sly smile, "I was thinking maybe I could it pull it off you."

Ohhhh my god. The image of us at the bar disappeared, immediately replaced by a much, much steamier scene of me, back home, in Adam's bed, with Adam leaning over me and--

No! Oh my god! No! That's not what we were here for! Why the fuck did I keep doing this? I had a plan, I was going to help Adam get laid. Like a good wingman. Like a good person, not a selfish loser who would rather experience some fleeting, bullshit fake intimacy than actually help his best friend. I gritted my teeth and pushed the stupid fantasy out of my mind.

"Oh, bro," I said, "You'll never guess who I ran into while I was waiting here. Such a crazy coincidence. You remember my friend Jeremy?"

Adam frowned, "Yeah. I know him. He's not here, is he?"

"He is!" I grinned, "He's here with his roommate, actually."

"Oh, cool," said Adam, "I hope they have a fun night. Anyway, we should get a table, right?"

'No, dude," I said, "His roommate is the girl from the department store."

"What girl?"

"Ashanti! You know? When you bought me all those clothes, you said the girl who helped you out was really pretty?" I turned around and waved to Jeremy and Ashanti at the bar. They started heading over.

"Okay..." said Adam. I turned back to him.

"It turns out she's totally cool, too," I whispered as the other two approached us, "And I explained about the girlfriend thing, and she's actually really into you, but not in, like, a shallow, objectifying way, I promise, she just thought you were really nice. You're gonna love her, I swear."

Adam stared at me, "Are you trying to... set me up with her?"

"No!" I lied, "Just, I know that you kind of have issues with girls, but she's really cool, and I thought the two of you might hit it off..."

"Dude," Adam whispered, "I don't wanna hang out with some random girl on our date."

"Our... what?"

Adam blinked, "I thought--"

"Hey, Mel!" said Ashanti. We turned to her, "Oh my god, this is your roommate, right? It's so good to see you again. We met at the department store. Mel told me about your sister. I think it's so lovely that the two of you are that close. I'm an only child. Jeremy thinks that might be why I talk so much. Gotta fill up the silence, you know? It might also be a nervous thing. Sorry, that was probably oversharing. I know it's awkward when you just meet someone and then you immediately find out a ton of disgusting personal information about them. I actually have a really funny story about that. I won't tell you about it right now. It was crazy. I got kicked by a llama. Did you know llamas kick? Apparently they do. Hard. That's all I'm gonna say. Technically they weren't blood-related. Anyway. I'm Ashanti. I don't know if you remember me. It's so nice to see you!"

She stuck out her hand, smiling brightly.

"Jesus Christ, Sha," muttered Jeremy.

Adam blinked, processing the barrage of information he had just been hit by. Whatever we had been arguing about had just been swept away by the unstoppable tidal wave that was Ashanti casually greeting someone. Adam looked at me, then at Ashanti, and then kind of glared at Jeremy, and then sighed.

"Hi," he reached out and shook Ashanti's hand, "I'm Adam."

Ashanti started talking again, going a mile a minute. I could see why Jeremy hadn't been worried about her being able to hold her own in a conversation. Adam nodded along, looking a little annoyed to be interrupted, but as polite and interested as he always was. I nudged Jeremy sneakily.

"The Parents are in the Trap," I whispered.

He looked at me and laughed, "What?"

"I don't know, I've never seen the movie," I admitted.