Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!

The visitor, upon hearing Nan Zhubin speak, put down the glass and focused his attention.

He quickly got into the state.

Nan Zhubin didn't hold back and directly gave the conclusion first: "You are still attacking yourself."

He then explained: "In the second thing you talked about, you think you caused trouble for the teacher, believing that the current self is highly likely to be 'disliked' by the teacher — you even found many reasons for your teacher to 'dislike you.'"

"In the third thing you mentioned, you described yourself as an 'unfilial' person. Although you expressed some complaints about your parents, you also justified them, believing that they have it tough and genuinely care about you."

"This situation also appeared in our second consultation," Nan Zhubin recalled, "At that time, you had fear triggered by being deceived, but you were simultaneously criticizing yourself for being 'too gullible,' even faintly implying that you 'deserved to be deceived.'"

Saying this, Nan Zhubin extended both hands, clenching them into fists in front of the visitor's eyes.

Then he fiercely clashed the two fists together.

"It's like there are two people in your mind, quarreling and fighting with each other."

Listening to Nan Zhubin's words, the visitor's gaze began to solidify, revealing a thoughtful expression.

Nan Zhubin continued, "And in fact, in your mind — there are indeed two people now."

Saying this, Nan Zhubin virtually pointed to the visitor's forehead: "Because of the occurrence of this fraud incident, your [ideal self] and [real self] have been fractured, causing you a [self-identity] crisis, and even developing into a state of [self-conflict]. This leads to you starting to attack yourself without anyone else's criticism."

The visitor nodded, somewhat understanding, and repeated Nan Zhubin's keywords: "[ideal self], [real self]?"

...

[Ideal self], refers to what an individual wishes to become. It encompasses all personal wishes, aspirations, goals, and values, representing the individual's most perfect self-image, which is the direction of one's efforts.

[Real self], on the other hand, is the individual's actual perception of their current state. It is based on an evaluation formed through subjective or objective information about personal current traits, abilities, appearance, behavior, roles, and social status.

The gap between [ideal self] and [real self] is a common psychological phenomenon among individuals.

However, when this gap is too large, rigid, or irreconcilable, it can trigger a series of deep psychological and behavioral problems:

In terms of emotions, it may cause [chronic anxiety], an excessive fear of not being able to achieve ideals; it may result in [a sense of powerlessness] and even [depression], repeatedly reinforcing the cognition of being "a worthless person"; it may cause [pathological shame], believing oneself to be "a flawed person"; or it can lead to undue [anger], turning extreme emotions outward or inward.

In terms of behavior, it may lead to [procrastination] and [avoidance] due to the fear of failure, or to [overcompensation] through frantic work leading to physical and mental exhaustion, falling into the [perfectionism trap] due to minor mistakes, or indulging in bad habits like heavy drinking.

Meanwhile, it may also cause numerous physical disorders such as headaches and insomnia, and disrupt [social relationships].

...

Nan Zhubin looked into the visitor's eyes and said, "For an average person, when conflicts arise between their [ideal self] and [real self], it's often a slow process of prolonged effort failing to reach an ideal state."

"But for you, it was due to a drastic change."

"If we regard the [real self] as a progress bar moving toward the [ideal self] —" Nan Zhubin extended a palm, slicing through the air, "— your [real self] was essentially slashed with a knife. Suddenly, there's a huge gap with the [ideal self], explosively triggering conflict very quickly."

When saying this, Nan Zhubin glanced at the visitor again.

Nan Zhubin's expression at this moment remained unchanged because a consultant should not show negative emotions in front of a visitor, as they need to transmit optimism to them.

But inwardly, he sighed for the person in front of him.

Nan Zhubin said, "From our long conversations, I can see that you hold very high and strict standards for yourself."

"From your first visit, you were very eager to resume your normal life, return to work, and start studying efficiently again."

"You wish to solve your problems by yourself, not wanting to trouble others."

"You worked hard to leave your hometown for university, joined the army after graduating, and pursued a graduate degree post-retirement, all of which are not easy accomplishments."

"At the courthouse, you even rushed forward without hesitation to act heroically during a dangerous situation, getting injured in the process."

Nan Zhubin counted each point one by one with his fingers, which was also a process of [Support].

"All of these require an extremely strong [internal drive] to accomplish and achieve. It's apparent that you have a very stable [ideal self], constantly emanating strength to support you in enhancing your [real self]. And because of this—"

Nan Zhubin pursed his lips: "When your [real self] is frustrated, the [self-conflict] becomes particularly intense."

The visitor's hand trembled slightly, without speaking.

He simply breathed more heavily, staring rigidly at the air in front of him.

"There are numerous reasons that could trigger such [self-conflict] and contradiction. You might experience [existential fear], thinking that 'only excellent people should be accepted,' 'I do not deserve help like this.'"

"Your [self-continuity] may be disrupted, with the ever-progressing [real self] suddenly stagnating or even regressing, leading to a loss of control over life, and even feeling like life is collapsing."

"Also, due to overthinking and being in a prolonged state of heightened stress, your [defense system] may become disordered, overreacting to minor matters."

With each sentence Nan Zhubin said, the visitor took a deep breath.

Because every word directly addressed the visitor's deep-seated thoughts.

Fear, loss of control, stress—these have been his genuine thoughts and reactions during this period.

After a long while, he finally opened his mouth, his voice hoarse, almost like a groan: "Teacher, you're right…"

He looked up into Nan Zhubin's eyes, an expression seemingly pleading: "So, what should I do?"

Nan Zhubin offered a smile: "We need to 'integrate' it all together. Next, we're going to use the [empty chair technique] from the [Gestalt School]."