When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

The tide of orthodox cultivators suddenly surged toward us, bringing the frontline much closer. Originally, we were far enough away from the front to be relatively safe from stray attacks, but after that surge, random techniques broke into our small clearing. Behind us, the Irrepressible Beast Blood cultivators charged forward. Their tightened ranks would make it hard to retreat unless we wanted to fly up and become a huge fucking target.

The Golden Core pair coughed. They seemed like they were recovering fast. The woman made a hand seal and pointed at us. Her snake slithered forward. Little Spring used another air torrent from his fan to redirect an arrow toward the beast. It pinged off its scales.

Shit. This was getting dangerous. I needed both arms free now!

With no other good options, I slid Xiao Bai down my back, between my inner robes and outer robes, where he'd be protected by the golden spiritual armor on my back.

Little Spring sent a Ten Cuts at the snake, pushing it back toward its owner while jumping out of the way of the other fights that started to crowd around us.

My puppets slashed at the other two pets, keeping them off our asses temporarily. Despite my incredible control over them, they were taking too many hits.

The rock crab gripped a puppet with its claw and crushed its waist. It went limp.

Fuck. That was a lucky hit for the damn crab. The thing barely managed to squeeze that particular puppet at its weak point.

If we tried to run off now without handling these two, we'd just get pulled into a fight with them again, or worse, get targeted by every orthodox cultivator nearby.

That would take too much time. We needed to meet up with my flying band within the next seven minutes.

First, we should put distance between them and us. More than the talisman Dread Lotus gave me could do.

I quickly ran through several ideas and landed on the one that would have the biggest effect.

::Do you have enough energy to pull off a single Golden Tempest and still lead the Tagging Team?::

He ducked under a stray hidden weapon some asshole threw. ::Yes. If I take a replenishing pill.::

::Good.:: I lifted my blade, blocking the teeth of a random ass tiger that suddenly redirected its charge toward me. I threw it back into the fray, where it was supposed to be.

Damn it, why did beasts always do this shit?! We were in the middle of a fucking war, but it was going after me just because I was nearby!

::But, Sister Lin, that technique takes too long to build up. These Golden Core tamers are fast, and there are so many obstacles now.:: He ducked under a massive sword that flew at his head. It landed in the gut of a cultivator beside him.

Shit! Things were getting worse.

Damn it. If I had the raw power that this kid did, I could do it all by myself. I had the experience of avoiding many moving targets perfectly, similar to what I did during the Indomitable Will's entrance trials.

If only I could Ratatouille him.

Wait...

::We'll do it together!::

::What?:

::Your power, my experience. Now put your heels on my toes.::

::How would that even work?!::

::We'll time each step to a beat in a song and move as one. I'll be the legs and control where we go, while you'll be the arms and energy.::

::...::

Okay, so it sounded like the worst version of the three-legged race I'd ever heard of, but it was all I could come up with at the moment. ::Come on! Don't think about it. Just do it!::

::Yes, Sister Lin!::

I blocked an oncoming attack before exchanging our swords. For this to work, he needed a weapon that increased an attack's power. He stepped back onto my feet, and I held onto his shoulder with my free hand.

"Ready?"

"Yes!"

I began to play Gold on the Ceiling by the Black Keys in our heads. Mostly because it was fucking cool, but also because of the line about stealing.

I expanded my divine sense and predicted the attacks of everyone and everything around me.

With a flick of my finger, I had my remaining puppets send multiple ten cuts to keep all five of our targets close together.

"Now!" On the next beat, we jumped into the air to land on the head of a cultivator that was thrown into our area. I stepped forward, bringing the kid with me. He slashed upward, creating a beautiful golden line of sword Qi that followed us as we moved forward.

I grabbed the back of Little Spring's robes and pulled him to the side, so we significantly leaned to the left, almost going horizontal. A sound Qi attack that would have landed on the kid's head just barely passed us, while another dozen hidden weapons flew under our feet.

I created a cushion of divine sense above us, grabbed it, and pushed us upright and forward into the next step.

The kid slashed once more, adding to the one he'd made previously.

A resonance had formed between our paired armor as though it was helping us move together. The energy we used with each step increased more than even the crab sword accounted for. Incredible! Even if it ended up being cursed, the set was absolutely worth it!

On the next step, I jumped six feet up, avoiding five charging rhinoceros beasts. I briefly landed on an eagle puppet that got knocked out of the sky and was about to crash into us. The kid spun his sword above our heads in a beautiful, shimmering arc.

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On his downward slash, I let us drop, pulling the sword Qi matrix with us. He sucked in a breath but didn't stop.

At that point, the beast tamer pair realized we were building up a special attack. My puppets were still keeping them pinned down, so they threw a barrage of hidden weapons at us.

I created a cushion of divine sense beneath our feet. Through the next several moves, I ran us forward, stepping on pockets of divine sense midair to get ahead of the pair's attacks. On the second to last step, I jumped us over the head of an unorthodox cultivator who stumbled toward us, then dropped under a stray trick pill.

As we ducked under a targeted poison gas attack from the giant rock crab, I moved the talisman Dread Lotus gave me in front of the final sword slice. Gold petals surrounded us. The tempest combined with the sword's enchantment and the talisman's kinetic energy. A massive burst of beautiful sword Qi flowers quickly spread forward and up.

It hit the Golden Core Cultivators and their pets. All five blasted up and far into the distance while yelling something I couldn't hear over the noise of the war.

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I glimpsed the glint in the sky where the pair had vanished. "At that speed, those guys are going to land in the nearby city."

"..." Little Spring's mouth had dropped open. He was probably admiring the remnants of the fantastic tempest we'd made together. Frankly, it put to shame the ones he'd done alone, even after improving as much as he had. "Do you think we killed them?"

"Nah, they had defensive talismans, but I doubt they can continue fighting without taking a few dozen healing pills."

The blast had also taken down many of the orthodox cultivators behind them, allowing the unorthodox disciples to surge forward, bringing the frontline back to where it originally was.

Those two fuckers had looked eerily familiar, similar to a certain pair of flamboyant thieves who always failed spectacularly. With that hair color, they must have been drawn into the manhua.

Hold on. Were they some kind of Easter Egg? In my past-past life, a comic panel once went around the internet like a meme. It showed two cartoon interdimensional travelers who had been sketched into the background of a manhua for shits and giggles.

Had this story's original artist done something like that with these guys?

Shit. I didn't have time to think about that nonsense! It was still dangerous around here.

I grabbed the kid and pulled him out of the way of an unorthodox disciple, who coughed up blood as he flew backward like a kite with its strings cut. He slammed into the ground beside us.

Little Spring slipped a healing pill into the poor unconscious guy's mouth before popping a Qi Replenishing Dan into his own.

We exchanged weapons, and I collected my puppets before pushing our way through the crowd and away from the front.

"Wait!" Little Spring looked panicked and grabbed my shoulder. "Where is Xiao Bai? I thought you had him."

I guessed the kid was too busy fighting when I hid him and hadn't noticed. "He's behind my back, in the safest place I could put him."

He glanced down at the bulge at my waist, just above my belt. His brow furrowed as if he were trying to figure out the best way to retrieve his puppy without pissing me off.

I flicked his glabella.

"Stop it. He can't help you right now. Frankly, he's safer with me than with you."

He nodded. "Please keep him safe!"

"Always! Now come on, we need to move."

Since we were far enough away and were running out of time, I brought out my flying sword, enlarged it, and pulled the kid onto the thicker blade. I booked it to the rendezvous point.

A few stray missiles of music Qi flew at us, but I took them down with a Ten Cuts. "Go ahead and replenish your energy. You have to be in top shape for what comes next."

::Yes, Sister Lin! And thank you for everything!::

I shrugged. ::No need for that. We couldn't let those assholes run off with our Xiao Bai.::

He grinned, patted my shoulder, and then sat down to cultivate.

***

Crossing a battlefield was always dangerous, but if we'd still been close to where the fighting was happening, it would have been worse. A few stray techniques reached us, but I easily took care of them. I was more worried about flying into the path of a powerful long-range attack from our side.

The best way to get around this chaos was to expand my divine sense and predict where everything was heading. This also allowed me to check the progress of the war.

The lower realm cultivators on the orthodox side began to fall back toward their ships slowly.

Likely, this meant the two sects were getting ready to send out their Nascent Souls in the next fifteen minutes.

Fuck. We had to get to the rendezvous point fast and complete our run-through before that happened. We couldn't take more than one Nascent Soul without Pearlescent Rose and her band.

I hadn't suspected that they'd bring out their powerhouses so soon, but they were slowly losing. Putting so many of their front-line fighters to sleep had severely hurt them. Even if they weren't massacred, they lost the momentum they originally had. And when they tried to regain it just now, Little Spring and I pushed them back with one massive attack.

Their lower realm cultivators were seriously fucked.

Meanwhile, all the musicians I'd played against at the battle of the bands that hadn't become part of my flying band were out there countering the music of the Harmonious Sound Sect like pros.

Even White Scale's son joined the fight. That Lion guy pointed forward, sending his large predators into the fray. His buddies that I once beat up were fighting off other tamers.

My two students — Shadow Panther and Three Drops — fought back-to-back against some Qi Condensation cultivators. She had her black panther defend her as she challenged a team of several beasts with her kick-ass puppets. Three Drops used his poison body to bite down on a tick pill someone threw at him like it was candy. Then he played a quick solo on the flying drums I'd made for him, sending out a massive wave of sound Qi that forced all their enemies back.

Spent, the two retreated and let others take their place in front.

I was so proud of them. They had progressed a lot. They'd reach Foundation Establishment soon and join the inner sect.

Winter Fox, the lecturer I visited before that damned in-name disciple of mine kidnapped me, was down there leading a team of poison masters.

Half of them administered emergency healing pills to stabilize wounded unorthodox disciples before handing them off to puppeteers. The patients traveled on the backs of beast puppets toward the closest first aid tents.

I was glad to see that they'd followed my suggestions and were taking the injured off the battlefield for treatment.

The poison masters who weren't healing fought with war cauldrons, special techniques, and trick pills.

A massive team of unorthodox body cultivators defended everyone against a herd of Green Horned Rhinos that charged forward. Their powerful martial arts, hidden weapons, and poisons took out the creatures, one after the other. Some of the warriors dropped, but by the time the rhinos had reached a quarter of the way into their group, the beasts had all been cut down.

The fact that the Irrepressible Beast Blood Sect had a huge department dedicated to alchemy was proving to be its biggest advantage.

This didn't mean that the unorthodox sect couldn't lose. In the end, no matter how hard the younger generations fought, the only people who could truly stop this were the powerful fuckers at the top who started it.

Compared to the wars between the demonic cult and the Indomitable Will Sect, this battlefield was small. After only a few minutes, we finished crossing to the other side, where the rendezvous point was.

A bunch of cultivators surrounded everyone, so it was difficult to visually see if they all made it.

Burning Wind flew past me and dropped beside the rest of his directionally challenged node, which had made the most improvements over the last week.

Red Fire Screaming Vigor bumped into him on the way to join up with his own group.

Three Harmonies to the Wind waved, and I landed next to her.

"Glad you made it, Bandleader! We were starting to worry."

I grinned. "Of course I did! Who am I!"

"Elder Linlin!" everyone chanted.

I scowled. Why had I even tried?

Whatever. Where was my Vis-bandleader? She must have arrived before me, right?