NOVEL NEXT Book 4, Chapter 2
Much to Talia's disappointment, Veronica and Vanessa, along with Vanessa's "fat-ass knockers," had to leave after a little while, and we could get around to actually eating our breakfast.
"So... What's the Order of the Silver Maiden?" Faith asked.
"They're an old and weird group who are really important in the history of Wizardry and science," I said. "They're an all-female order of Wizards who've been doing formal academic research into Wizardry ever since they were founded six hundred years ago, and probably half of everything we know about Wizardry was discovered by the Silver Maidens. Thing is, though, they've gotta pay for their upkeep and research and all that, so they're also in the business of breeding beautiful and powerful Wizards, and selling marriage contracts for huge sums of money."
"Why is the powerful Wizard part important?" Talia asked. "I thought Hikaano men didn't give a shit about a woman's skillset beyond sex?"
"A woman with large magicka reserves will give birth to children who develop their own magicka reserves more easily than usual," Emily said. "For a nobleman who wants his sons to be powerful Wizards, a wife who's a powerful Wizard is exactly what he wants, especially since he can have his wife tutor their sons in Wizardry without having to get a separate teacher."
"Also, I think the Silver Maidens are led by a group of old elven women, and nearly everyone born into the Order is at least partially an elf," I added. "Which is why they've got that half-elf infertility treatment."
"This whole thing sounds really fucked up, once we get past the part where they're a group of Wizards who do important research," Faith observed.
"Yeah, just a touch," I said. "My mom never liked them very much. When she did talk about them, it was with a lot of disdain, so..."
"So, what's your plan to get The Harpies to actually graduate?" Emily asked.
"It's more of an idea than a plan," I said. "I'm gonna have to talk to Helen about bureaucratic stuff for the Vegas, but for Erica, the gold-blonde chick who tried to teleport out, we just need to do an impressive adventure that nets us enough money to buy out her marriage contract, and suddenly she doesn't have to get married as soon as she graduates. We do have to make her agree to spend a few years adventuring before she returns to the Maidens and becomes another researcher, but I think it's doable."
Emily nodded slowly.
"Anyhow, it's the first day of the semester, and I'm pretty sure all of us have a class today," I continued. "So, let's maybe table this for now, and focus on what we actually signed up for when we came here."
"It's the Adventurer's Guild," Faith pointed out. "We all signed up to have random, inconvenient bullshit dropped on us."
I sighed. "God, how I wish that weren't true..."
"Are you certain you have the right classroom?" Professor Bleakhammer asked, as I walked in. "This is Arcane Architecture, a 500-level course."
"My name should be on the roster," I said. "Catherine Ironheart."
"Hrm, let me... Ah, I see. Ah! You passed the Placement Exam with flying colors, and already have your Bachelor's, I see. Well, congratulations, Miss Ironheart, and welcome to Arcane Architecture. You're a bit early, but everyone else should be here soon enough. Now, I know it says here that you have your Bachelor's, but I must do my due diligence: how familiar are you with pocket dimensions?"
"I built a two-story home in the back of a caravan using pocket dimensions," I said dryly. "I do believe I am quite familiar."
"Ah, excellent, then I won't have to catch you up to speed on them," Professor Bleakhammer said, smiling warmly. "Apologies, there are a number of foundational skills that are a prerequisite to this course, which we simply don't have the time to properly teach without taking away from the core curriculum of Arcane Architecture. I am already spending the first week reviewing the prerequisites, and... well, unfortunately, I have to assume that anyone capable of taking graduate-level courses in the Arcane Arts will be able to fill in any gaps in their understanding within the week."
I nodded in understanding- his concerns seemed pretty reasonable, and he didn't take much convincing to accept that I was, in fact, capable of handling the course.
"Out of curiosity," I began, "and since we're here and class hasn't officially started yet... What class would you recommend for a Bachelor Wizard who wants to learn to build their own airship?"
"Ah, an interesting question," Bleakhammer said, nodding. "Well, as it so happens? This very course would be an excellent start. There are, of course, a great number of factors you must concern yourself with for a vehicle that will not be covered in an architecture course- buildings are typically not intended to move, after all- but for the most part, I think that this course will extend your foundation enough that you could teach yourself the remaining components of an airship. I wish you luck, and also bid you caution; I do not recommend having actual people aboard your airship during its maiden voyage."
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"Understood," I said, nodding back at him, before taking my seat.
I was the first person to show up, so I grabbed the seat closest to the door out of habit, and pulled out a few notebooks, some of which were already full of notes on things like pocket dimensions and inorganic transmutations and mechanical engineering, all of which felt like they'd be quite relevant to Arcane Architecture.
Slowly, people trickled in, taking seats. This wasn't a very large class, all told- there were only twelve chairs and six tables, and as the clock neared one o'clock, I was getting the impression that we weren't going to be filling even half of these seats, if the four boys who walked in were any indication.
The last student to arrive was Vanessa Vega, wearing the same outfit she'd been wearing this morning, who sat next to me and slipped me a spiral-bound notebook from her satchel.
"Alright, it seems everyone is here, excellent," Professor Bleakhammer said. "Welcome, students, to Arcane Architecture! Now, while I personally think that such a subject deserves more than a single 500-level course, I have, unfortunately, been overruled by the Dean and the Provost, and so I will need to condense things somewhat. This class will be quite challenging for you, and I do not say that as a point of pride- I want you to succeed, I want you to learn how to design, construct, and enchant buildings. But architecture is hard, magical construction is hard, large-scale static enchantments are hard. Architecture alone is a full degree path in many larger universities, and personally, I strongly recommend enrolling in a few classes at a conventional university after graduation if you truly do wish to make a career of this. This class is a good place to start with the subject, and you will learn usable, valuable skills, but it is a foundation, not the pinnacle, and even after your final exam, there will be much more to learn.
"Now, before we get to the meat of this course, we'll need to review a few concepts that should have been covered in previous courses. How many of you have already used pocket dimensions to make a living space larger on the inside?"
"God damn you've got some tits," Talia said, as she returned from class.
"Please stop being a freak to someone you've just met," I said wearily.
"She's had her face between them," Vanessa said, patting me on the shoulder. "Besides, I haven't yet gotten tired of hearing how beautiful I am. What, you think I made myself look like this because I don't want everyone who lays eyes on me to want to fuck me?"
"See?" Talia said. "She gets it. So, what're you two nerds doing?"
"I'm trying to teach her Mom's theory of pocket dimensions, which is..." I paused. "...It's hard to wrap her head around, I suppose. Starting to get the feeling it's not the orthodox method."
"It isn't," Vanessa admitted. "Is there any way I could convince you to do the pocket dimensions for our ship for me? I am not archmage material."
"You could share our-" Talia began, bonerously.
"Give me some time, and I'll work out a way to walk you through a graded sequence of examples," I said simply. "'Not archmage material' is a problem with circumstances; if it's a problem with you, the problem is simply a lack of will to learn."
"You're taking your mentor status seriously," Vanessa remarked.
"Very much so," I said, nodding. "Right, well, let's keep going. Talia, you need help with Trigonometry?"
"A little, yeah."
"Alright, head upstairs and get your stuff set up, I'll finish up here in a few minutes."
Talia headed up the stairs, and I returned my attention to my notes on pocket dimensions.
"Alright, well..." I trailed off, frowning. "...Hrm. We've been at this for an hour, so let's call it here. I'm gonna make a quick copy of my notes, and..." I hummed to myself, considering whether or not I should make this gesture. "...Y'know what? Lemme hook you up with something I think you'll really like."
"Oh?" Vanessa asked.
"Here," I said, producing a strangely-shaped bag of holding from my coat. "This is a bag of holding that you wear under your tits, so that it can be accessed through your cleavage. It convincingly pretends to be practical, and it's a neat trick for when you want to be a certain kind of sexy."
"...So, how do you feel about the idea of having little ol' me as a kept bimbo who warms your bed and also talks shop about Wizardry?" Vanessa asked.
"Yes, yes, you're very fuckable and very willing to use sex to get your way," I said dryly. "I already have a pet Succubus, and I'm not yet convinced that I need another one."
"Oh well, can't fault a girl for trying."
"I absolutely can, I just won't, because I understand where you're coming from," I said, patting her on the shoulder. "Anyhow, let's see..." I pulled out a blank notebook, and with an admittedly excessive amount of magicka, I cast a copying spell on my pocket dimension notes, which I'd learned during a brief summer apprenticeship at the Greenwood Publishing House. "There. Take these, go home, let the ideas marinate in your mind, and if you still don't get it by Sunday morning, let me know and I'll come over and help you."
"Thank you so much, Catherine," Vanessa said, tucking her new bag of holding (funbags of holding?) under her breasts, before stuffing the notebook inside. "Genuinely, I owe you."
She showed herself out, and I sighed, before heading upstairs to help Talia. I got the feeling I was gonna be very busy, this semester...