This S.O.B. System

Quinten awoke tied up in a hut. The hut looked much larger than he thought someone of the goblin’s stature would have. At least 7 feet high in places, and 20’ across, it was downright spacious. He didn’t groan as he awoke, but he wanted to. His whole body hurt, especially his left arm. Looking around he didn’t see Timmy, so he hoped he had made it to the others. 

 

Quin’s arms were tied behind his back at the armpits, making his chest arch backward. This made it hard to breathe. Laying on the dirt floor he scanned the room. There were small pillows and what looked like a desk to the side. In the center was a firepit. How the room wasn’t filled with smoke, he didn’t know. 

 

Over the firepit was an arm spinning slowly on a spit. It was a familiar tan arm. Quin’s familiar left arm. He began to hyperventilate. He couldn’t make a fist with his left hand. His right arm flailed madly to try to find it behind his back. His breath coming in short and harder, the way he was tied made it impossible to take in a deep breath. He wanted to scream, to yell, and to move his fucking arms. 

 

As he continued to let his right arm flail he felt his ring still there. The idiots hadn’t checked for a spatial ring, or maybe didn’t know what it was. He was out of his leather gear, and normal clothes, but still in his underwear at least. With a mental command he called for his short sword. Amazingly a white light shined behind him and his sword was in his good hand. Holding it backwards he positioned the sword until the blade rested on his shoulder. 

 

With a tentative slice he tried to find the rope restricting him. He found it by the weird feeling from the hilt of his blade. Then he began to raise the blade up and down. Awkwardly he ignored the pain from his body and began to cut. It wasn’t long until his hand became tired from the weird motion but he kept going. He brought up his screen to see his health. 20/55. Recalling something Doug had said he willed the HP bar to the top right of his vision. When it worked he turned his status screen off. 

 

A slight twang sounded in the large hut. The bindings on Quinten’s arm felt looser. With renewed vigor he kept slicing. Another twang sounded, another rope broke. He guessed there were 2 to go. So focused on freeing himself he almost didn’t notice the tent flap open. Dropping back to the floor he squinted his eyes. 

 

The goblin shaman from earlier was there. A large goblin, at least 5’ tall followed in after him. They grunted and spoke animatedly to each other. Anger boiling, Quinten was starting to come up with a plan. With a thought he raised his Pheromones to 100 and began to slice away again at his bindings. He really hoped the Pheromones were a general thing, and not focused on him. There was only one way to find out. 

 

At the one minute mark he noticed a change in the 2 goblin leaders. They had been looking over the table, which appeared to have a map on it. They were arguing one second, then they looked into one another’s eyes. Quin thought they may have blushed, but it was too dark to see. 

 

When a rope breaking twanged again he knew it was working wonders on the 2. He could almost move his arms, well arm, again. The sword sawed up and down, it was loud in the quiet hut. The goblins didn’t notice anything, they simply stared at one another. Then without warning the big goblin, Quin assumed chief, threw the small table between them. The table flew into the fire knocking Quin’s arm away from the spit. 

 

Quin was enraptured by the scene of 2 of the ugliest beings he had seen. They had begun to kiss forcefully. Their giant wart riddled noses in the way the sharp teeth were gentle as they made out. Soon the shaman was out of his robe.

 

At that point Quinten looked away. In a matter of seconds his last binding was loose. His chest heaved forward back to a normal position. His right arm came back around and caressed his left shoulder. They had cut it off above the elbow. A charred black stump was all that was left. Quinten’s roleplay kicked in hard at the sight of it. His experienced mind had seen much worse. 

 

His feet tied together, it took one slice to cut through the rope. Scanning around the hut he noticed the 2 goblins making sweet love. Surprisingly the shaman was the butch as he entered the rear of the chief. Quinten walked up behind him and without a sound lopped off the shaman’s head. The chief didn’t know what happened to his lover because in another smooth motion his own head was cut off. Quinten ignored the notifications that popped up. 

 

Calmly Quinten scanned the hut. His clothes were nowhere to be seen. Cursing he looked out the tent flap the goblins used to get in. There were huts all around an alcove in the trees. A large firepit at the center of the huts, all the goblins congregated around it. Chatting and talking away. There were a couple of fights, but most of them laughed and chatted. 

 

“I’m gonna kill every one of you green bastards,” Quinten said. His Roleplay caused anger to course through every word. Once back in the hut he picked up his arm and put it in his ring. Then he took the shaman’s robes and put them on. Far too big for them he crouched down until he was on his knees. Reminded of Yogurt from Spaceballs he began his trek down to the fire. 

 

His Pheromones still maxed out; he got closer and closer to the large group of them. His hood draped over his head Quin hoped they wouldn’t notice. And surprisingly they didn’t. Before he knew it he was a few paces from the fire. There were about a hundred goblins in total. Some were drunkenly dancing, others were chatting one another up, some were already passed out drunk. There were a couple of guards at the entrance, but nothing too out of place. He would get those first. 

 

But now, he simply counted. When he got to 60 seconds the fun started. One goblin boy kissed a goblin girl. Then another goblin took out his dick and started jerking off. Then one of the girls let out a moan, and it wasn’t long until one of the goblins jumped on her. It was soon pandemonium. A cacophony of groans and yelps. Their shrill voices chattering in the calm night.

 

His skill apparently had a range, about 30 feet. There were a few outside of the perimeter that didn’t know what to do as goblin lusted after goblin. It wasn’t too long until their curiosity got the better of them and they came within Quin’s web. Soon they were pulled to join groups of goblins going at it.

Even the guards soon joined in. Brought over by the noise they were powerless to the effect. For a minute Quinten just stood there staring at the fire. It reflected in his eyes. He now understood the drive of Goblinslayer a little better. They had taken his arm, and he would kill every single one of them. 

 

Drawing his hood back he stood to his full height. No one noticed or cared. Shoeless, in his boxers and a tight robe he started to impale them with his blade. After the 5th group his blade broke on the spine of one of them. At that point he had found another. When it was down to the last group of 3 going at it he sliced the head off of one and stabbed the other in the gut. Grabbing the last live male by the hair he tossed it into the firepit. 

 

All the sounds of pleasure had died down a while ago. Now all that echoed in the canopy of the trees was a goblin as he jumped out of the fire. It struggled to know what to do, stuck between jerking off and beating the fire on its back. It chose both. 

“Quinten?” A voice asked behind him. 

 

Turning from the goblin Quin saw the others approach him. “Oh hey guys,” he said. Taking a dagger from his ring he stabbed it into the masturbating goblin as it ran past. It dropped dead before it could cum. “Glad you could make it.”

 

Roleplay Skill Deactivating

 

Asher was done as Quinten for a little while. As the anger and seething hatred for the beasts disappeared it was like a spell lifted from his eyes. Some of the memories dimmed to the back of his mind, which he was thankful for. Unfortunately pain was not one of them. Quin had masterfully pushed them to the back of his mind while he worked, and now Quin felt like he was ready to pass out. 

 

“Please tell me you can reattach this,” Asher said. He pulled his arm out of his ring. He locked eyes with George, their healer.

 

—-

 

Asher woke up with a start. It wasn’t dawn yet, but it was close. Moving his left arm he couldn’t be happier to see it there. It turns out that George could not reattach an arm, but he could grow a new one once a week. Luckily for him the cooldown was up, so after 10 minutes he was full health and had a new left arm. 

 

The day before Timmy had escaped and they did follow the group that took Ash. They were waiting for all of them to fall asleep to try to get him out. When Asher started killing them they began to get a little XP, so they decided to move earlier. 

 

Soon after they arrived at the camp and he was fixed, Asher had passed out asleep. Now that he was awake it felt like a bad dream. So he pretended it was. Getting out of his sleeping bag he left the Chief’s tent. Timmy had kept watch and was sitting by the smoldering remains of the fire. They nodded to one another in a greeting. Ash enjoyed the silence of the cold morning air. It was like they had been camping, and he woke up early to enjoy the quiet of nature. 

 

They had poured through the goblin’s loot late into the night. There was a nice 2-handed sword Asher took, as well as some human size gear that was an upgrade to his borrowed leather. Then the shaman had a few spell books that would be sold, or Joan would use. Everything was recorded and cataloged. They would all get their cut after they sold everything.  

 

He decided to pull up his screens after some time. He had apparently killed 67 goblins, 1 shaman, and a goblin chief. Since he was in a group they got some of the XP, but since they were so far away he got most of the experience. He got about 60 XP per goblin, and another 200 for the bosses. Not to mention the groups of goblins they had killed on their way to find the camp. With all that he was level 9 and over half way to 10. Asher also gained a new XP method. 

 

Experience Method Added

Orgy

You were part of an orgy. Go you.

 

Though he hadn’t participated in the fun way, he had participated. Free XP he got the +65 from the orgy, then a 1.5 multiplier for New Person, and another 1.5 multiplier for Roleplaying. It all added up in the end. As he pondered what distinguished an orgy from a three or foursome he read his other methods. 

 

Congratulations

Your skill Taunt has evolved into Intimidation.

Intimidation (Level 1)

Your gaze causes those to fear you. They will focus on you before anyone else. They might have to change their pants first.

 

Then the most interesting screen came up. 

 

New Skill Acquired
By completing the requirements for the Roleplay skill. You have acquired a new skill.
	New Skill:
	Powerstrike (LVL 1)

 

Powerstrike (Level 1)

A focused strike. You are able to pour mana into the strike for extra damage.

 

Asher had never gotten a skill outside of having sex. He was almost 100% positive one of the goblins didn’t rape him. Reading the screens over and over he focused on “Requirements for the Roleplay skill.” It never specifically says sex. A big thing he had done since having sex last was beating a boss. A part of him felt that doing that was another way to gain the skills in his Roleplay. But for now he was too tired to do another roleplay. 

 

His last screen popup was good to see as well. 

 

Quest

Assist the locals with the

goblin menace SE of town

Time Limit: N/A

Quest Rewards:

System Coins

Experience

COMPLETE

Leave Dungeon for Rewards

 

Ready to leave the dungeon he was starting to hear the others waking up. Allowing them the chance to come over he looked at his screen. 

 

Name:	Asher Whitmore		Skills:
Alias:	Quinten Hardly		Acting	LVL MAX
System:	PORN STAR		STD Immunity	LVL MAX
Level:	9		Roleplaying	LVL MAX
Experience	3,183/6,000		Genitalia Control	LVL MAX
Title:	N/A		Prop Manifestation	LVL MAX
Guild:	N/A		Relationship Screen	LVL 6
Syscos:	990		Gardening	LVL 4
			Ahegao	LVL 5
HP:	58	/58	Slovene Language	LVL 2
MP:	30	/30	Survival	LVL 10
			Tracking	LVL 8
Stats:	0		Brawling	LVL 6
Strength:	20		Policing	LVL 8
Dexterity:	17		Economics	LVL 10
Endurance:	19		Pheromones	LVL MAX
Agility:	17		Battleshout	LVL 5
Wisdom:	10		Intimidation	LVL 1
Intelligence:	10		Powerstrike	LVL 1
Luck:	13
Charm:	17
Custom Stats:
Dick Length	8.85 Inches
Dick Diameter	1.85 Inches
Fertility	Off
Pheromones	20

 

He felt good about his skills, and his stats were where he wanted them to be. His biggest concern was when he was captured by the goblins. The shaman had waved his hand and Asher was knocked. Was that a spell? What stat fought that? He strongly felt it was Wisdom and Intelligence. He might have to revisit the lowest stats if he wants to keep fighting monsters. 

 

“How are you doing today?” Joan asked as she walked out of her tent. 

“Good? Maybe? I don’t know. It helps to have olde lefty here,” he said, waving his arm. “That normally happen? Someone lose a limb?”

 

“Never seen it,” George said. “I only just got the skill. Usually quests aren’t this bad. Guess the Chieftess was right to hold us back.” 

 

“Maybe…” Joan didn’t elaborate. They were left with their own thoughts for a time. 

 

“What do you guys tell your friends and family when you’re gone on these things?” Asher asked eventually. It was still night time back home, and he was sure his parents noticed that he hadn’t come back when he said he would. 

 

“I live alone,” George said. 

“Same,” Timmy said. 

 

“I live in a dorm, folks don’t ask much,” McKenzie said. 

 

“I’m supposedly at Kenzie’s right now,” Joan admitted. 

 

“Any of you mind providing me an alibi? My parents are gonna kill me if I say I lost track of time,” Asher said. 

 

“I’ll give you a hand,” George said. Everyone sat quietly for a moment. Then Asher and George burst out laughing. Soon enough all were laughing. 

 

—

 

Joan took charge on their way back. Asher didn’t have it in him. His mind was already fogged over by all he had been through. They left the dungeon with little fanfare. They killed some more wolves and horned rabbits, but they were dealt with easily. As they left through the portal they all received a system notification. 

 

Congratulations

You have cleared the Level 5 Dungeon: Goblin Camp

Additional Rewards will be added to any quests

Quest Complete

Assist the locals with the

goblin menace South of town

Time Limit: N/A

Quest Rewards:

System Coins

Experience

Accept Rewards

Y/N

 

Rewards:
System Coins	x 300
Experience Points	x3000

 

Congratulations

On reaching level 10

 

Asher was surprised by the rewards. He didn’t think he would get that much for the quest. “Woah, 100 Syscos,” Timmy said beside him. 

 

Asher looked back at his screen. Confirming that he read his own notification correctly he wasn’t sure why he got so much. “Is that normal?” He asked cautiously. 

 

“No. Last one we got 40.” Joan told him. The 4 of them turned around to face the portal. Asher followed their gaze. They watched the black portal slowly shrink and disappear. A little sad he wouldn’t see the elf again, he did hope they were right and they’d see one another someday. He didn’t feel as strongly about her as he did Tiff and Zora, but he felt something. 

 

With that they turned and walked back toward their cars. Leaving the question of the rewards out of his mind he pulled his phone out of the ring. It was 4am on Monday. He had school in a few hours. With a groan he said his goodbyes to the other 4 members of the group. Without much fanfare he was kicked out of the group with a simple notification. 

 

“I’ll let you know if I need help,” Asher told George. Once in his car he turned up the heat and drove home in the cold winter morning. 

 

He parked outside his home and snuck in through the front door. Too much adrenaline in his system he moved his stats around for the last level up and read through his screen.

 

Name:	Asher Whitmore		Skills:
Alias:	Quinten Hardly		Acting	LVL MAX
System:	PORN STAR		STD Immunity	LVL MAX
Level:	10		Roleplaying	LVL MAX
Experience	583/8,000		Genitalia Control	LVL MAX
Title:	N/A		Prop Manifestation	LVL MAX
Guild:	N/A		Relationship Screen	LVL 6
Syscos:	1,290		Gardening	LVL 4
			Ahegao	LVL 5
HP:	60	/60	Slovene Language	LVL 2
MP:	30	/30	Survival	LVL 10
			Tracking	LVL 8
Stats:	0		Brawling	LVL 6
Strength:	20		Policing	LVL 8
Dexterity:	18		Economics	LVL 10
Endurance:	20		Pheromones	LVL MAX
Agility:	18		Battleshout	LVL 5
Wisdom:	10		Intimidation	LVL 1
Intelligence:	10		Powerstrike	LVL 1
Luck:	15
Charm:	17
Custom Stats:
Dick Length	8.85 Inches
Dick Diameter	1.85 Inches
Fertility	Off
Pheromones	20