The Unbelievers

Chapter 26

Eunseong stood under the shower and lifted the lever. Lukewarm water poured over his head. When he pushed the faucet to the side, cold water splashed down, startling his spine. It was icy water that made his whole body tense up.

Though shivering, Eunseong stood there under the water. His hair became soaking wet. The cold water stole his body heat as it flowed over his entire body, seeping into every corner.

The cold water flowed unhindered between his legs as well. Eunseong looked down at his crotch with his head bowed. The water stream occasionally blurred his vision.

Eunseong had unusually little body hair. While some boys in his class were starting to grow dark facial hair, Eunseong’s legs and even armpits were smooth. Even his pubic area was hairless. But it wasn’t just the lack of body hair. He also lacked testicles, which should normally be present on a male body. Where the testicles should have been, there was only an empty scrotum with faint wrinkles as a trace.

After finishing the cold shower, he came out and dried his wet body with a towel. Goosebumps covered his entire arms.

He dried his hair with a hairdryer and changed into his school uniform. Eunseong listened for any movement outside his room. He looked around and drew the blackout curtains over the window.

After blocking any possible outside gazes, he opened his bag. He took out all the money he had hidden under the table and beneath the bed frame and stuffed it haphazardly into the bag. He slung the money-filled bag over his shoulder and smoothed his hair. He touched his face and then slapped his own cheek.

“…Get a grip.”

Because it didn’t hurt, Eunseong slapped himself once more. Slap! The struck cheek turned red.

“Get a grip. That person is your dad’s cousin. He’s a relative.”

Admitting it out loud brought a rush of sadness and fear. Eunseong became scared. He was terrified of having such an explicit dream about him, and of seeing Siwoon in that way.

“I can’t like him… He already avoids me like I smell, if he knows I like him… if he finds out…”

The thought of Siwoon discovering that Eunseong had strange dreams about him, that he felt hurt by Siwoon’s distance more than just disappointed, that he kept thinking about him and wanting to hear his voice – it made Eunseong’s whole body go cold, like missing a step on a cliff.

“I was planning to be independent anyway. That’s fine, right? What’s the problem? Liking your uncle… that’s nonsense. It’s impossible.”

Eunseong muttered to himself, trying to calm his mind. Talking to himself actually helped settle his frantically beating heart.

Though chaos was churning inside, he put on a nonchalant face and slung the bag over his shoulder. It felt heavy.

He opened the door. As usual, the living room was filled with the fragrant smell of coffee. The traditional Korean-style mansion exuded a refined scent from the wood, which blended well with the coffee aroma.

Eunseong entered the dining room. Siwoon was brewing coffee. He looked surprised to see Eunseong.

“Good morning.”

“…Are you okay?”

“Huh? Yes, I’m fine.”

“Can you go to school?”

Having been seriously ill yesterday, his eyes were filled with doubt as he asked.

“I felt better after sleeping. It’s final exam period, so I can’t miss it. It’s fine since it ends early anyway. I’ll just take the test and come back early to rest.”

Eunseong spoke energetically, as if the flu-like symptoms from last night had completely disappeared. However, he didn’t look at Siwoon. He deliberately avoided eye contact as he pulled out a chair and sat down.

As usual, Siwoon poured milk into a cup and placed it in the middle of the island table. Eunseong got up, reached out, and took the milk to drink. He glanced at Siwoon, feeling the intense gaze on him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Isn’t the bag uncomfortable?”

“Oh, I didn’t even notice I was wearing it because there’s not much in it today since it’s exam day.”

Unlike usual, Eunseong had his schoolbag on his shoulder. He squirmed in his seat as if uncomfortable, took off the bag he was wearing, and muttered an excuse to himself.

“Don’t push yourself if it’s hard.”

“Are you saying it doesn’t matter if I don’t take the test since I can’t study anyway?”

Eunseong snapped, even though Siwoon hadn’t said much.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I’m really fine now. I don’t even have a fever. Do you want to feel?”

As Eunseong suddenly stood up and tried to approach, Siwoon flinched. The one who reacted with such noticeable wariness seemed more flustered. Eunseong, seemingly unaffected by Siwoon’s dramatic flinching, spoke casually.

“You can’t touch me anyway because of your obsessive-compulsive disorder, right?”

“…”

“Well then, I’ll be going.”

Eunseong gulped down the milk in one go. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand, stood up, and picked up the bag he had taken off. The bag that supposedly didn’t have much in it felt heavy.

As he passed through the living room and out the front door, Director Nam, who had been waiting, opened the car door for him. The rain had temporarily subsided, and for the first time in a while, sunlight broke through the gray clouds in the sky.

“Hello.”

“Are you feeling better now?”

Director Nam asked, checking on Eunseong’s condition after being sick yesterday.

“I’m all better after taking the medicine you gave me yesterday.”

“Let me know right away if you feel sick.”

Eunseong replied that he understood as he got into the back seat. Director Nam closed the car door.

Eunseong headed to school. The classroom, in the midst of final exams, had desks arranged in the exam formation. He opened his locker and stuffed his bag inside. He returned to his seat carrying only his pencil case. Sitting at his desk, he turned his head towards the window overlooking the empty playground. As he swallowed dryly, a dull pain arose in his throat, which felt as if it had been scratched.

While other students were intensely studying for the exam, Eunseong couldn’t concentrate on studying at all. The dream from last night kept stirring in his mind, leaving no room for thoughts of exams or studying.

Eunseong kept fidgeting as if his chair was uncomfortable. As Eunseong restlessly shook his legs and couldn’t sit still, the class president, sitting behind him in numerical order, frowned.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you? Stop it, it’s distracting. If you have ADHD, take some meds.”

“Ah, sorry.”

“You think you’re the only one who’s anxious? Everyone’s anxious. Don’t make a fuss.”

The president, after lecturing Eunseong not to be nervous about failing the test – something he didn’t care about anyway – lowered his irritated gaze back to his book.

Eunseong sat quietly. The changes in his body since last night kept sending chills down his back. He anxiously bit his nails.

It was his first wet dream, and the subject was… his cousin uncle, Siwoon.

His body trembled as if he had a flu.

Yesterday, he had at least read the problems and guessed the most likely answers for the ones he didn’t know, but today he didn’t even bother to read the questions and just randomly marked answers.

The exam ended in a blur. As soon as the final homeroom ended, everyone rushed out of the classroom as if they didn’t want to waste even a second for tomorrow’s exam. Eunseong was the last to get up from his seat. He took out the bag he had put in his locker. After making sure no one was around, he opened the bag.

“…”

Over seven million won was safely inside the bag. Taking a deep breath as if to steady his shaking heart, he slung the bag over his shoulder. He firmly grasped the bag straps with both hands and left the classroom. He walked in the opposite direction of his usual corridor, keeping an eye on his surroundings.

Although Director Nam was waiting for him with the car in front of the school gate, Eunseong headed towards the back gate instead of the main entrance. Glancing around alertly, he slipped out through the half-open back gate. Perhaps because he was always accompanied by Director Nam as if under constant surveillance, he felt anxious, as if someone was following him. He was looking back to check if anyone was following when-

“Shit! This is the right school, so keep a good watch here!”

Eunseong, who had been moving as if fleeing, collided with someone. One was hurriedly moving forward, while the other was turning around while shouting, causing their bodies to collide forcefully.

“What the- Watch where you’re going…”

“Choi Jung-eon?”

“Ah… shit. Seo Eunseong?”

Eunseong recognized him immediately. The person who had stopped his threatening posture mid-motion after aggressively protesting about watching where one was going was Choi Jung-eon. Jung-eon’s face quickly contorted after recognizing Eunseong.

“How are you here…”

Forgetting that he was in the middle of escaping from Director Nam, Eunseong’s eyes widened in surprise. For some reason, he was glad to see Jung-eon. The feeling of meeting someone familiar while lost was more than just pleasant – it was desperately welcome, enough to momentarily erase everything Jung-eon had done to him until now.

“I thought you might be here, but to run into you like this. It’s been a fucking long time, hasn’t it?”

Jung-eon’s eyes, which had been distorted with disbelief, suddenly filled with a manic vitality and emotion. It was anger that had been concentrated and just waiting to ignite.

“Jung-eon…”

Eunseong’s voice trembled tearfully. Not just Jung-eon, but his familiar-looking friends were there too.

Unlike in middle school, he was now completely crazy and out of control, but encountering him in a situation where Eunseong didn’t know what to do, the guy seemed like a lifeline.