The Loli Gets All the Passive Skills

Mina Park was annoyed—and admittedly confused.

At the moment, she was sitting in front of an old man who called himself ROB, arguing with a rabbit wearing a top hat.

The very same rabbit she had somehow managed to piss off not too long ago on the streets.

You see, she was apparently dead. She remembered walking down the street after pausing her binge-watching of one of her favorite animes, The Eminence In Shadow. Mina had a tradition: she would wait until at least ten episodes were available, then spend an entire weekend devouring ramen and junk food while binge-watching. She called it her "Binge Weekend." This was one of those Binge Weekends.

Unfortunately, she had run out of Pocky—her favorite snack of all time—so she'd had no choice but to venture outside to get some, even though her antisocial mind had screamed at her not to. After all, people were outside. Ew.

She really should have listened to that voice.

Ten minutes later, carrying two bags stuffed with Pocky boxes, she was heading back to her apartment when she saw a rabbit wearing a stupid-looking top hat on a bench. The rabbit appeared to be struggling to fend off a barking dog.

People, Mina didn't like. But small animals? Yeah, they were her weakness. Sighing heavily, she walked over to the bench, plucked the rabbit from its spot, and shooed the dog away.

Once the dog ran off, Mina sat on the bench and looked down at the rabbit. Now, here's the thing: Mina had always had a bad habit of saying whatever popped into her head, whether or not it hurt someone's feelings. It was never intentional, but she'd never had a filter. All her life, she'd managed to piss people off just by speaking her mind.

So, in hindsight, it wasn't all that surprising that she had accidentally offended what turned out to be a minor god inhabiting the vessel of a rabbit by saying, "That top hat looks stupid on you."

The next thing she knew, she was here, in a room of endless white clouds, watching an old man with a beard and robes argue with an outraged rabbit.

'Even in death, my life is weird,' she thought to herself.

Mina sighed, rubbing her temples as the bizarre argument escalated. She had no idea if this was some kind of divine comedy routine or if she'd unknowingly stumbled into the most ridiculous afterlife imaginable.

"Hey," she called, trying to interject again. The old man—ROB, apparently—and the rabbit ignored her completely, too caught up in their petty squabble.

"Sensitive? I am not sensitive! My taste in fashion is impeccable, thank you very much!" the rabbit huffed, crossing its little arms over its furry chest.

"Impeccable? That hat looks like it belongs on a discount magician at a children's birthday party!" ROB shot back, waving his staff for emphasis.

"Excuse me!" Mina shouted, louder this time. The sound echoed in the endless void, finally drawing their attention. Both the old man and the rabbit turned to glare at her, their expressions equally offended.

"What now?" ROB grumbled.

"Yes, what do you want, mortal?" the rabbit snapped, adjusting its hat with an air of wounded pride.

Mina rolled her eyes. "Look, as entertaining as this is—and trust me, it's not—I'd really like to know what's going on. Am I being reincarnated or not? Or are we just going to spend eternity arguing over questionable fashion choices?"

The rabbit's fur bristled, and it opened its mouth to retort, but ROB held up a hand. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath about "temperamental demigods." He turned back to Mina, his expression softening. "Due to...let's call it extenuating circumstances," he shot a withering glare at the rabbit, "we owe you a boon. You may choose one gift to aid you in your new life."

Mina perked up at that. Finally, something was going her way. "One gift, huh? Anything I want?"

The rabbit scoffed. "After insulting my impeccable sense of style, you should be lucky if you're reincarnated as anything more than a slug."

"Okay, first of all," Mina shot back, "I didn't ask to die. Second, I certainly didn't insult your 'impeccable sense of style.' I was just being honest."

"You call that honesty?" the rabbit hissed, its ears flattening.

ROB groaned, massaging his forehead. "This is why no one takes you seriously, Amadeus. You're worse than the mortals."

"Wait, your name is Amadeus?" Mina snorted before she could stop herself. "Of course it is."

"Humph! Know my name, mortal. I am Amadeus Zanzibar Thumperlin, Patron of Misfits, Trickster of Realms, and—"

"A drama queen with terrible fashion sense," Mina cut in dryly.

Amadeus glared daggers at her. "Laugh all you want, mortal. Let's see how funny it is when you're reincarnated as a slime in a world without magic."

Mina narrowed her eyes. "Joke's on you. I'd still find a way to be awesome. I could be a Slime Queen, or something."

ROB ignored their bantering, deciding to try to get them back on the main topic. "You can only ask for something within reason, of course. No omnipotence, no destroying the fabric of reality, and no infinite wishes."

Turning away from a spluttering rabbit, Mina tilted her head. "Within reason, huh," Mina said, already deep in thought. Her mind raced through the possibilities. Super strength? Magic? The ability to summon unlimited Pocky?

Then, an idea struck her, and a slow grin spread across her face. "Alright, I've got it. I want..." She leaned forward dramatically. "...the ability to gain passive skills."

The room went silent.

"Passive skills?" ROB repeated softly, leaning forward, his expression somewhere between intrigue and concern. "You'll have to elaborate. Passive skills can mean many things. Are you asking to gain them all at once? Or something more... tailored?"

Mina grinned, clearly pleased with herself. "I want the ability to naturally acquire passive skills based on my actions and experiences, without needing to train specifically for them. You know, like those characters in RPGs who suddenly unlock a skill just because they've been walking a lot or dodging attacks all the time. It's efficient, and it means I can adapt to whatever insane world you're throwing me into without having to guess what I'll need ahead of time."

ROB stroked his beard, nodding slowly. "Hmm. That's a rather strategic choice, I'll admit. With such an ability, you wouldn't need to focus on deliberate training to excel. The world itself would become your teacher, so to speak."

The rabbit, who had been unusually quiet, suddenly hopped onto the table and narrowed its eyes at Mina. "Wait, wait, wait. Do you realize how broken that is? You're asking for a system where effort isn't directly required for growth. You just exist and get better at things. This could easily spiral into overpowered territory!"

Mina shrugged. "Not my fault if the system can't balance itself, is it? Besides, I still have to do stuff to trigger the skills, right? I'm not asking for instant mastery of anything. I'm just asking for the ability to improve passively without grinding myself into oblivion."

ROB tilted his head, his eyes sparkling with something that might have been respect—or perhaps it was mild amusement. "You're a clever one, Mina Park. This ability would indeed allow you to gain skills as a direct result of your experiences, without active focus. For instance, spending time near flames might grant you fire resistance. Walking great distances could grant endurance. Being insulted repeatedly by a certain rabbit might... well, it could teach you patience."

Mina smirked, ignoring the rabbit's indignant sputtering. "Exactly. It's practical, and it means I can grow without being tied down to some convoluted skill tree or overly complex system."

The rabbit huffed, sitting back on its haunches. "If she gets this, she's going to become insufferable."

ROB raised a hand to silence the rabbit. "It's within the rules, and it's not as unbalanced as it may seem. After all, Mina will still need to survive long enough to acquire those skills—and that will require more than just luck. Very well, Mina. Your request is granted."

He waved his hand, and a golden sigil appeared in the air before dissolving into Mina's chest. A warm glow filled her, and she felt... lighter, almost as though she were a blank slate waiting to be filled with possibilities.

ROB smiled. "You now have the ability to passively acquire skills based on your actions and experiences. Your growth will be steady but earned, as life molds you into something greater. Use it wisely."

Before Mina could fully process what had just happened, the rabbit spoke up again, a mischievous glint in its eye. "One more thing! As punishment for calling my top hat stupid, besides the passive skills she can learn on her own, have the system grant her certain passive skills every time she successfully pisses someone off who can kill her. Also, I want her to live in that anime that she was watching, what was it called? Oh, right, the Eminence in Shadow. It looks dangerous."

Mina's jaw dropped, and she immediately spun toward the rabbit, glaring daggers. "Wait, what?! That's not fair! You're literally stacking the deck against me for a petty insult!"

The rabbit smirked, twitching its nose smugly. "Oh, it's entirely fair. You think you can walk through life mouthing off without consequences? Consider this... character development." It hopped in a little circle on the table. "And if you're so skilled at pissing people off, this'll be a win-win! You get passive skills for survival, and I get entertainment watching you scramble to stay alive."

ROB sighed and waved a hand to quiet the growing argument. "Enough, both of you. Amadeus, while your suggestion is indeed unusual, I don't see any explicit reason to deny it." He looked at Mina sympathetically. "Unfortunately, I must allow this adjustment. You'll be transported to the world of The Eminence in Shadow. You'll still acquire passive skills naturally, as per your original request, but now, for every life-threatening situation you provoke through your words... additional passive skills will be unlocked. Special skills that will be classified as X. Please do not misuse these powers."

Mina groaned, burying her face in her hands. "Great. So I'm basically going to have to talk my way into trouble to get stronger?"

ROB raised an eyebrow, his expression wavering between exasperation and amusement, as he turned to the smug rabbit god who was smirking at the distressed girl. "You know, Amadeus, you're really pushing the boundaries of fairness here. You know she can't help that. She's cursed with saying everything that comes to mind. Honestly, whoever cursed her was really vindictive."

The rabbit turned to ROB, tilting its head innocently. "But I'm not breaking any rules. Mina wanted to grow through passive skills, so I'm just adding a... creative condition. A little extra spice to her new life. And The Eminence in Shadow? That's a world full of intrigue, danger, and opportunity. Perfect for her."

Mina froze, her eyes narrowing. "Cursed?" she repeated, her voice dangerously low. "What do you mean, cursed? Are you saying this whole 'no filter' thing isn't just my sparkling personality?"

ROB exchanged a sheepish glance with the rabbit, who had the decency to look slightly guilty. "Ah, well," ROB began, clearly choosing his words carefully, "it's... a little more complicated than that. You see, your tendency to say whatever crosses your mind—regardless of tact or consequence—isn't entirely natural."

The rabbit piped up, hopping onto Mina's shoulder. "Yup. Someone cursed you, likely in your previous life. My guess? You pissed off the wrong person—surprise, surprise."

Mina's eye twitched as she rounded on the rabbit. "You mean to tell me I've been wandering through life offending everyone in a five-mile radius, not because I'm blunt, but because someone deliberately cursed me?"

ROB nodded slowly, stroking his beard. "Exactly. It's a rare kind of curse, too. Most curses are direct—bad luck, sickness, that sort of thing. But this one's more... subtle. It amplifies your natural personality traits in a way that ensures you alienate or anger those around you. Whoever cursed you had a flair for irony, I'll give them that."

Mina threw her hands up. "Great. So not only do I have to deal with this passive skill nonsense, but now I find out I've been a walking social disaster thanks to some random jerk?"

"Pretty much," the rabbit said cheerfully. "And the best part? The curse doesn't go away in your new life."

"What?!"

ROB sighed again, clearly regretting his decision to allow the rabbit to tag along. "Yes, the curse will persist in your reincarnation. However..." He hesitated, as if weighing the wisdom of what he was about to say. "There's a silver lining."

Mina crossed her arms, glaring. "Oh, this should be good. What's the silver lining, ROB?"

"The curse," ROB continued, "is actually what makes your new passive skill condition possible. Without it, your ability to unlock skills by provoking dangerous individuals wouldn't work. In a way, the curse has been... repurposed."

The rabbit grinned smugly. "See? Everything happens for a reason. You're uniquely qualified for this kind of world—danger, intrigue, and all."

Mina's hands clenched into fists at her sides. "I don't know who cursed me," she said through gritted teeth, "but if I ever find them, they're going to regret it."

ROB chuckled, clearly unconcerned by her threat. "That's the spirit, Mina."

Before Mina could say anything else, the rabbit spoke up again, a mischievous glint in its eye. "I have decided; I will grace my presence in accompanying you on your journey."

"Why are you inviting yourself into my afterlife plans?" Mina groaned.

"Because I'm bored," the rabbit shot back smugly. "And I intend to ensure you learn respect—one way or another!"

ROB chuckled, stepping back as the space around them began to shimmer and warp. "And because he was exiled. But that has nothing to do with you, Mina. Good luck. Your new life awaits. May it be filled with challenges and growth—and may you find purpose in this second chance."

'Even in death, I can't escape annoying roommates,' she thought.

As the white light enveloped her completely, Mina couldn't help muttering under her breath, "Curse or not, someone's getting punched when I figure this out." The rabbit snickered on her shoulder, and with a final flash, she was gone.