The Hero’s Brother Is Bound To Be Depressed

204 – Because some things have to be lost

I took a deep breath. Her heart pounded, and she bit her lip as the pressure felt like it was crushing her whole body. Ellie took a step closer. She then very slowly extended her hand towards me. She couldn’t help but look at her touch, which was almost as soft as it was.

A pure white hand wiped away the tears flowing down my cheeks. It was a warm and gentle touch, but it somehow gave me goosebumps. The feeling of happiness in Ellie’s eyes looking at me makes me sick.

I told Ellie who was happy to see my tears.

“… “It’s all over now.”

At my words, Ellie tilted her head and asked with a smile on her lips.

“really?”

Ellie’s voice was full of mockery, as if she thought what I was saying was a lie. With a confident look in her eyes that I wouldn’t give up on her, Ellie added, placing her hand on her own heart.

“Actually, you put in all that effort because you wanted to be with me?”

“… what?”

It was so absurd that I had no choice but to ask. I can’t believe I tried to be with Ellie. Rather, I tried desperately to get away somehow. How much effort have you tried to suppress your physical desires and break off relationships that border on a vicious cycle? Although her blood was not shed, her indelible scars are still deeply embedded in her heart.

Ellie read my astonished expression and looked confused. She leaned over slightly and whispered in my ear, as if she really didn’t know.

“Ross, is it because you’re embarrassed to tell the truth?”

I fully understand that the truth appears differently depending on your perspective. But she couldn’t understand what Ellie was thinking when she said this. That’s why she had no choice but to ask sincerely.

“… “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

In response to my question, Ellie pouted her lips in disappointment. Ellie asked with a mischievous smile that made no sense to her.

“Do you want to hear it from my mouth?”

As I said that, I suppressed the emotions that welled up at the sight of Ellie muttering, “Pervert.” Her hand is so clenched that it hurts. As she chewed her lips, a muttering voice came out.

“I desperately reached the finals of the duel and participated in the triathlon… .”

Ellie trailed off. With a shy expression on her face, as if confessing, she added her words with a shy smile.

“It was all because you wanted to be by my side, right?”

That confident voice sounded somewhat creepy. I was at a loss for words when I saw Ellie taking my efforts for granted. As I looked with her googly eyes, Ellie wordlessly came over and hugged me. The extremely sweet scent of strawberries lingers at the tip of her nose. Her head is dizzy.

Where on earth did it go wrong?

“Even if my feelings are not love but simple possessiveness, nothing changes. You are happy when you are with me. “You need me so you can be the real you.”

I feel sick. It feels like something is grabbing my throat and my breathing becomes rough. Unlike me, she looked up at me with a smile that said she was happy for Ellie. Maybe it was her suffering that made her enjoy her more.

“You can never give up on me.”

I was moved to tears for a moment by her assertive voice.

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

I tried to push away Ellie, who was hugging me. However, due to her limitations, her strength was limited and she was only able to remove her body. Ellie didn’t seem to like my behavior, so she puffed out her cheeks. She looks as if she is watching a puppy whine.

With difficulty, I raised my hand and stroked my face once. It’s late at night. Plus, today is the weekend. Other academies that had been using the academy’s backyard as temporary accommodations returned to their own academies in the morning. There was no way anyone would come here, even by chance. Enough for one last conversation.

I touched my forehead out of dizziness. What makes you so sure that I want to be by your side? Ellie’s confident attitude changed my perspective and awakened new possibilities in my mind.

All the pieces of the puzzle had come together. But putting it together was purely from my perspective. From Ellie’s perspective, the picture of a completely completed puzzle changes. The reason I’m sure he wants to be by his side is because… It was obvious.

“… “It’s because you thought I was completely yours.”

Ellie’s obsidian eyes shine at the words she mumbled without thinking. Ellie, who thought I was completely her own, could not think of any other possibility. If she is not in the hands of her owner, she is a non-functional object. Because Ellie was the only one who filled Ross’s lonely and depressed life with energy.

That’s why I instinctively believed that even if I lost my memory, I would return to my side. Because the original Ross was a person who had no reason to live anymore without Ellie. He may have wanted to run away to his death at the cold truth that if it weren’t for him, his family would have been happier. At that fact, I no longer had any strength in my legs, so I sat down as if I was collapsing. I feel like everything is out of sync.

Ellie came up to me as I sat down and stroked my head with a gentle hand.

“Ross, I’ll admit that I’ve been mean to you. Please forgive me now. Then I will kiss you as much as you want and give you permission whenever you want my body. “You can also tell me that you love me with all your heart.”

I slapped away Ellie’s hand that was stroking my head. I managed to activate my indomitable courage and was able to resist the restrictions to some extent. My whole body creaks. But he stumbled and eventually got up. I didn’t forget my initial goal. Today, I end everything about Ellie and her.

I spoke forcefully.

“That’s not love…” “It’s begging.”

“If you can get what you want, even if it means begging, you can do it. Should I beg? Do you want me to stay by your side? “If you want, you can kneel right now.”

I smiled bitterly at the sight of Ellie pretending to kneel with a mischievous smile. Ellie can’t take the situation seriously because of her confidence in me. Then there is only one thing for me to do. It destroys Eli’s confidence.

“Just like you lied, I lied to you too.”

Let me preface with those words. I spoke in a calm voice as I looked at Ellie who tilted her head at my words.

“I lost my memory because of the torture. “That was a lie.”

“… what?”

With a sigh, I confessed the lie as if it were the truth. Adding lies to lies. There is nothing easier than that.

“I didn’t lose my memory. “I erased my memories on purpose.”

“lie… “There’s no reason for that, right?”

Her face seems to be suspicious, wondering if what she’s saying is a lie. There’s one thing Ellie doesn’t know. Born from lies, I can lie more naturally than anyone else.

I was intentionally silent for a moment. She chewed her lips and squeezed them out with difficulty, as if she was trying to stop them.

“It’s true. It’s so hard, it’s so painful… “It was unbearable, so I got help.”

Ellie smiled leisurely, as if telling her not to lie. But she couldn’t hide the slight trembling of the corners of her mouth. I am anxious as to whether what I am saying is true. I spoke without missing the opportunity, as if pushing forward.

“You know. How hard was it for me? “Life before joining the academy was unbearable.”

“That’s why I was there. I always helped you whenever you were having a hard time. I tried to stop him from committing suicide several times because it was so difficult. “Are you saying that you deliberately forgot that you should be grateful to me for the rest of your life?”

Ellie’s tone of voice rose slightly, as if she was angry. I said this in her tired voice.

“that’s right. “I wanted to forget everything.”

“Don’t lie!”

Ellie, who reacted violently, took half a step towards me. She glared at me reproachfully with her frowning face.

“You were happy when you were with me. He said he loved me and wanted to stay with me! “The reason you entered the academy was because you followed me!”

What Ellie said is true. Ross, who did not know the truth about her, loved the swamp named Ellie, who was the only one who protected him. She says that until she destroys herself. But Ross is different now. My heart beats for Luna, not for Ellie. The object of effort has changed. Eli must also clearly understand that.

I spoke in a firm voice.

“It’s not a lie.”

Ellie, who was looking straight at me, asked with hesitation in her voice.

“… Prove it.”

“what?”

When I pretended not to know and asked Ellie, she gritted her teeth and screamed.

“I want you to prove that what you said wasn’t a lie… . “He wanted to forget all the happy memories he had with me!”

There is no way to prove a lie. But I can give a plausible answer. Because there is a crucial contradiction in Ellie’s words.

I asked in a low voice.

“Then before that, let me ask you one question. “Is it really true that you stopped me from committing suicide?”

“… “I’m not at the level of lying about something like that.”

Still, he seems to be aware that he made a mistake. But I no longer have the heart to forgive Ellie. I asked again in a calm voice.

“Then you think I was happy to be with you?”

Ellie answered immediately as if it wasn’t worth worrying about.

“okay. You don’t remember, but you said it yourself. He said he was happy to be with me. Thank you so much for being by my side like this. “I am the only one in your life.”

As soon as Ellie finished speaking, I asked.

“Have you ever thought about why I chose to commit suicide?”

Ellie’s eyes widened. She seemed to be greatly shocked by my words, and she cowered her body as if she were scared. The reason was simple. She says Ellie has never once thought in terms of her possessions. Her tears and pain are just objects of observation for her. She was not an object of sympathy.

“what… ? “Well, my heart was shaken for a moment because I wasn’t around.”

I cut Ellie off with a sigh.

“No, I couldn’t bear it even if you were by my side. I didn’t want to live anymore. “I just said that because you were worried.”

“Oh, no. You were definitely happy when you were by my side… ! “The reason you were worried about me in the first place is because you love me!”

I smiled genuinely and tiredly at Ellie’s urgent words. It breaks my heart because I know very well why Ross did that.

He answered in a slightly hoarse voice.

“… “I loved you, but the main reason was because I was nice to you.”

“what… ?”

Bitterness tormented my tongue as I saw Ellie looking at me with an idiotic expression.

“I only acted like that because you thought I was nice. Because you are the only person who has been nice to me. “I don’t want to avoid you until the end.”

Ellie shook her head loudly and shouted, as if she didn’t want to accept my words.

“you… You need me!”

Ellie’s voice lost its composure. Her eyes closed for a moment and then opened as the emotions filled her heart. I looked straight into Ellie’s eyes and said.

“It’s not that I need you, it’s that you need me. A foolish childhood friend who was lonely and depressed and only looked at himself. “Even if you push it away, it comes back, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t get away from it.”

Ellie’s eyes shook greatly. I continued to speak to her as her body trembled and her fists were clenched.

“Did you forget? I lost my memory and kept pushing you away. I wanted to end an old relationship that I couldn’t even remember. I pretended I didn’t see you, and I even pretended I didn’t hear you on purpose. “Because I really wanted to forget you.”

But Ellie was not willing to admit it easily. Ellie shivered for a moment, then she came closer to me and gently leaned against her. She looked up at me with tear filled eyes and she said in her seductive voice,

“lie… . I know you want me Even though I erased my memories, my body still wants me… “Just take it easy and accept your instincts.”

It’s easy to take that at its word. I know that betraying Luna’s feelings of love for me, glossing over her promises, and keeping Ellie by my side would be an easier path than it is now. But the reason for not doing so was simple.

“I love Luna.”

Ellie’s sincere voice raised her hand and strongly grabbed my neck. With her distorted face, Ellie spoke in a voice that seemed to be admonishing.

“Come to your senses and look at me in front of you! Everyone at the academy thinks I’m beautiful. Everyone wants to date me and hang out with me. Senior first year student and head of the Ministry of Magic. He is also very talented and is Nelson’s disciple. Leaving me like that, you’re going to give up on me because of a disabled person like that?! Wake up Ross! “You are out of your mind right now!”

Big black eyes look up at me as if cursing. I looked straight at it and spoke in a hoarse voice.

“… “Not just barely.”

With trembling hands, I pulled away Ellie’s strong hold on my neck.

“I’m happy when I’m with Luna. Time passes faster than usual. I feel at ease just by being together. Luna believes in me and loves me to a degree that is more than enough for someone like me.”

At the sound of my confident voice, a trickle of blood flowed from Ellie’s lips. Ellie clenched her fists and bit her lower lip until her skin bled, her face contorted. I said to her as she looked at me with her inscrutable eyes.

“I always feel anxious when I’m with you. You act out of control, and I get dragged around by it regardless of my will. Every time you come near me, I’m afraid that I’ll end up with you, something I don’t want to be with. “I was afraid of that.”

That was my truth. I was afraid that Ross’s instincts toward Ellie would lead to a relationship I didn’t want. Because it was obvious that that relationship would hurt Luna. She sighed softly and continued speaking.

“I loved you with all my heart. I arbitrarily saw and evaluated only your good points from the perspective I wanted. Before I lost you, I thought you were everything in this world… But with loss comes rebirth. I lost you, but found a new love. Even if you can’t take it to the end, we have to end it here.”

“you… What are you saying that it’s over? “I don’t like it.”

The moonlight of the cloudless night sky was reflected in Ellie’s empty-looking eyes. I spoke to Ellie one last time, meeting her gaze.

“It’s a unrequited love that I started on my own. I have to finish it too. It’s really over now. I’m going to forget all about you. “Even the memories of how I loved you.”

As I said that, a message appeared before my eyes.

[Geas is activated due to the oath. ]

-Forgetting memories of Ellie.

I really want to forget Ellie.

Ellie slowly covered her face with her hands. Her mournful cries escaped between her fingers. I turned around without any regrets. Now is the time to go back. To Luna, who is waiting and worrying about me not coming back.

“I’ll kill you!”

The frantic voice coming from behind me was enough to hurt my ears. I looked over her shoulder and saw Ellie aiming her wand at me.

“You have no value if you are not mine! You… Do you think I’ll just leave it alone? If you move even one step from there, I will kill you. Not just you, but Luna you love too! “Painfully!”

I looked down at Ellie shaking with anger. The girl I loved was such a base person. Finally, I spoke with sincerity and a squeezed voice.

“To me, you are already dead. A person not worth missing. This is the end of this damn relationship.”

Saying that, he took a step forward. I felt magical energy converging behind my back, but I didn’t stop walking. A red light passed by me. Along with that, she felt pain in her left arm. But the pain could no longer hold me back.

Ellie’s sorrowful voice came from behind.

“There’s no way I could really kill you!!! I’m just asking you to forgive me just this once… ! Please, please… around! I mean, stay by my side… !! ! You’re right! Admit it. I admit it! I need you… !!! Ross, Ross… !!!”

Ellie burst into tears. Still, I didn’t stop. When we reached an alley where no crying could be heard, our indomitable courage came to an end. Due to strong dizziness, I lost my balance and fell, leaning my back against the wall.

My vision is blurry. The emotions masked by indomitable courage later shook me. I drowned out Ellie’s crying sound in my ears with my moans.

Because Eli’s faith has been shattered, the restrictions continue to be activated. What I had to do was decided. Eunice showed me a way to break free from restrictions.

I remembered my vow to never forget Ellie, and I thought of the restrictions.

Constraints – Loses most of Ellie’s abilities while recalling her memories – 3P

And I decided to use the 3Ps obtained through pharmaceuticals right away. With difficulty, I raised my hand and selected the power I had found in advance.

[Blessing of Oblivion] – 3P

This is a shortcut that prevents the restriction itself from being activated. There are plenty of possibilities. Just as Berserker and Indomitable Courage are combined, the Blessing of Oblivion will make the object of restriction non-existent.

A pure white light appeared from nowhere and enveloped my body. I instinctively knew what to do. I said the name for the last time. Somehow I felt like my voice was heard from very far away.

“Ellie.”

—

[Ring of the Covenant]

―A ring imbued with the power of the covenant ‘Geas’.

Although it is a magical restraint and curse, the shrewd Geass gives great power.

◆ Currently 3 oaths.

– Repay ■■’s trust.

-My love for Luna will never change.

-Forgetting memories of ■■.

◇ Current restrictions

– Loses most of his abilities while failing to repay ■■’s trust.

-If your love for Luna changes, you die.

-Losing most of his abilities while recalling the memories of ■■

—

I opened my eyes that had been closed for a moment. It felt like the colors and textures of the world had all changed. Somehow, a very faint sense of loss remained in a corner of my heart.

I got up from my seat and shook my butt. I feel like every bone in my body is aching, as if I was drunk and fell asleep on the street. Her mind was fuzzy, but she didn’t forget what she had to do. I laughed for no reason as I shook off the faint feeling of loss that remained.

“Let’s go back.”

To the club room where Luna is waiting.