The Dungeon's Worst Little Mistake

"More coming on the left! Ben, burn them. Susan and I will hold the front. Elaine, keep an eye on our back!"

"Got it!"

They continue to fight their way through the halls, stepping over the still twitching remains of slain zombies and pushing through though the hordes. A moment after giving the order, the hallway on their left is suddenly aglow with fire and radiating heat as a dozen more zombies are flash barbequed and turned into charcoal and ash. The Necromancer hadn't been lying when she said that she would be sending her forces to crush them.

While the numbers are noticeably less than they were on the upper floors, she must have been gathering a small army for herself down here over the past couple of days or more. Lizard Men, Kappa, Spiked Frogs, Garmolds, Giant Salamander and Geckos, and basically every other creature that can be found down here. If they aren't capable of walking on land, then they simply attack from the waterways that run all along these underground sewers, with even the regular fish having become zombies that will jump out of the water to try and bite the adventurers and nibble on their boots.

At the back of the group, Elaine has to kick an especially aggressive catfish away from her that was trying to grab onto the tail of her robes and pull on them. They aren't much a threat, but having fish jumping out of the water at you constantly sure is annoying.

"What did she do, kill everything on this floor!?" Susan complains as she cuts a particularly aggressive turtle's head off. Even without its head, it continues to attack by trying to ram her with its shell, but Dale's hammer finishes it off with a smashing blow from above, crushing the shell and probably pulping everything inside.

"It doesn't matter how many she sends. These are small fries to us!" Dale declares as he moves into a baseball swing and sends a Lizard Man flying back into the horde, sending a bunch of them tumbling as their bodies collide. "She's just trying to slow us down. There is no way that she expects this to actually stop us."

"Right. Without the mushrooms-" Sussan dodges back half a step, letting a swiping hand full of sharp claws miss her face by barely an inch. When she steps forward again, her sword is already moving upward, slicing the creature in half from hip to shoulder as she walks past it. "- or the poison, these things are just regular zombies. If we were in the fourth layer, these numbers would be much more of an issue."

Dale swings his hammer from left to right, mowing down three more and sending them flying into the water as a tangled mess of limbs and broken bodies.

"Ah, still. Focus on conserving your energy. We don't need to be tiring ourselves out before we get there. We still have the main fight ahead of us!" He bellows as he smashes his hammer down on a Lizard Man's skull and basically folds its body like an accordion.

When they reach the next intersection, Elaine looks up and points to the right. "Dungeon says to go right. Thank you, Dungeon!"

"Elaine, you don't have to thank the Dungeon every time. Just the once is enough." Susan tells her as she cuts down another enemy.

"But it's polite to thank someone when they give you directions… Oh, note, note! Yes!"

Elaine jumps over a corpse and goes for the hand holding the bloodstained piece of white paper. When she pulls on it, the entire arm comes up with it out of the pile. No signs of the body that it used to be attached to, but she doesn't care. With the energy of a graverobber pulling gold teeth from a corpse, she pries open the fingers and retrieves the note.

Susan just peeks over her shoulder and smiles as she continues to fight, having to hold back a laugh.

And to think that just a few years ago, something like that would have had her throwing up and crying. Haaah, I miss those days. I want 15-year-old Elaine back. Where is my little girl who would sneak into bed to sleep with me when she was lonely at night? Is this what it feels like to be a mom? Why do they have to grow up so fast?

Susan is tempted to let herself wander off into her memories, and to just tune out the fight. Now that she is fully rested, and further, not being forced to fight while wearing that cumbersome hazmat suit, this is become way to easy. But that is a recipe for disaster. She needs to focus. Far too many good people have died to see her get this far, and she needs to finish this. The last thing she needs to have happen is a dumb mistake because she stopped focusing.

Clearing the current horde, they turn and keep moving at a relaxed jog, following the Dungeon's directions as the lights above them continue to flicker and guide them along.

Susan still can't get over how weird this is. Actually having a Dungeon of all things helping. It goes against everything she knows, but at the same time, it makes her wonder about just how dangerous this Necromancer must be. To make a Dungeon of all things feel so threatened that it would resort to asking humans for help. Or, as she had put it in the note, to cheat…

What is up with that? Does the Necromancer know something about Dungeons that we don't? Hmm, well, she is trying to destroy one, so I guess it makes sense that she would. Still. Cheating, that's such a weird way of saying it. That would imply that the Dungeon has some sort of rules that it has to follow… But who the hell could implement rules onto something like a Dungeon? They would have to be a god, right?

No one knows where the Dungeons come from. The common belief is that they are born from caves in the ground that gather too much magical energy, and then eventually grow into what they are now. But Susan is coming to a revelation, a simple question forming in her head that would normally be ignored without proof, but is seeming more plausible now than ever before.

What if Dungeons aren't naturally born, but are created by someone?

The thought actually scares her. After all, why would someone create man-eating Dungeons? Especially when people have a tendency to build their cities right on top of them, drawn to the near endless resources and mana shards found within.

Unless, that's what they wanted. They want us to build our homes near the Dungeons. They want us to keep willingly diving in and risking our lives. But why? Just to feed the Dungeon? What would be the point in that; what do they get out of us dying in here?

Susan doesn't have all the answers. And if anything, that just scares her even more. After all, what if when someone dies in here, it isn't just their body that is being eaten? What if the Dungeon does something to their soul? Many people and even friends that Susan has known over the years have died in Dungeons. What if something horrible happened to them?!

With her thoughts running wild, the group takes another turn and runs into a fresh horde of zombies. Only, this one is far more organized and was seemingly prepared for them to arrive. A line of Lizard Men are all standing in a shield wall, spears held forward and ready to stab. Further back, hiding in the water, Susan can see some Kappa, ready and waiting to shoot blasts of water from their mouths.

It's not much of a shield wall though…

Susan has seen better ones made by conscripted farmers on the battlefield. This formation just isn't tight enough, with gaps large enough to walk though. Not to mention, the Lizard Men's weapons and shields are made from scraps of rusty metal and driftwood held together with nothing but hopes and dreams and a length of frayed rope.

For Susan and Dale, who are more than capable of defeating knights in full plate armor, these lizards are basically a joke. A joke that is even funnier when you have a mage on your side.

With the Lizard Men formation being hunkered down and waiting for an attack, this gives Ben more than enough time to just simply lob a fireball right into the center of their ranks, taking them all out instantly. The Kappa in the water are more of an issue, but Elaine is more than happy to snipe them with her light as Susan and Dale protect her from their ranged attacks.

Once they are all dead, Ben can't help but to comment. "She doesn't seem very experienced in leading troops, does she?"

Dale just shrugs. "It's something other than just mindlessly charging us. She must be trying different strategies to see if anything works."

"Mhm, the mindless charging is probably a better idea. Works better with how the Undead fight. It's just a shame they got matched up against…" Ben says while nodding towards Susan, who might as well be a living blender. She just shrugs.

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Sure enough, the next fight sees them going against another shield wall. But this time, a second force of Undead come from behind and attack them when they try to simply blow up this one like they did the last. Pincered between two groups of enemies, Dale moves forward to smash through the shield wall with his hammer, while Susan moves to the back to fend off the charge with the two mages protected in the middle.

"I could take them all out if you'd like." Elaine offers.

"No, focus on conserving your mana. We'll need you for the final fight!" Susan calls back as she dodges and weaves, slicing though zombies one after the other.

Ben just points, "Hey, that one has a note."

"Oh! Susan, Susan, get that one! That one!"

"Elaine, will you hold on, I'm busy!" She shouts back, but she does start making her way towards it though.

About halfway through cutting her way through the horde, she notices something odd about the one holding the note. Its head keeps twitching, its eyes blinking, mouth opening and closing. When a hand goes up to its head like it is trying to fight off a headache, the thing blinks and looks around.

"Did it work? Is this thing wor- Oh! I can talk though this!? Hello, hello, one two three, ladle dee, uncle bee~ Oh this is just so weird… But it worked! Yes, I earned the Spell too, nice! Just saved me five whole Skill Points." The Undead lizard happily says in a rumbling voice that could only possibly come from the throat of a gator. With both arms raised above its rotting head, it cheers happily and gives an awkward little jump. Something that is rather weird to watch as its body is half rotted and sagging, its skin falling apart just from the effort of a happy hop and a cheer.

It looks around next with one good eye, the other clearly being blind, and squints as it finds the humans. "Four humans? I thought there would be more of you… Geez, and you guys are just slaughtering my minions with just the four of you? Guess I underestimated you. I've gotta stop doing that. Don't underestimate the humans. Come on Bug..."

With a wave of its hand, the other zombies stop fighting, all remaining stock still right where they are, the one before Susan still being mid attack with its mouth wide open for a bite. She doesn't stop moving though, and follows through in her attack, cutting the zombie down before finally turning her attention to the talking zombie.

"Are you the Necromancer?"

It points to itself. "Me? No, this is just a zombie I'm controlling. Cool, right?"

"I know that…"

"Oh! Yeah, yeah, I'm the Necromancer. Hi, I'm Bug! Well, not this guy, or girl?" The zombie looks down at its own body. "How the heck do you tell the sex of a lizard… Not important. I don't know what this things name was or if it even had one… I'll call it Lizard Joe for now. This is Joe!" Joe waves hello.

"I don't care what the lizard's name is." Susan says as she points her sword towards her enemy. Behind her, Elaine waves back. "Hello, Joe."

She looks over her shoulder and gives Elaine a look.

"What, I'm just being polite…"

"Don't be polite to the enemy; she is trying to kill us."

The controlled lizard hasn't moved from its spot and is still just looking around in amazement.

"Oh, this is just so funky. Eyesight sucks though, how the heck do these things not run into everything? Why is that light flickering?"

The light promptly stops flickering as soon as she notices it.

"… Oi! Dungeon, I fucking know that was you! I knew it!!! You're leading them right to me, aren't you? Cheating bastard! So, this is why they are catching up so quickly. I knew it was probably helping, but I didn't think it would be something as blatant as this. This is just unfair! Hey, humans, would you be so nice as to kindly leave, please? Dungeon, I am so telling on you. Redacted is going to tear you a new asshole when she learns about this!"

The light just starts flickering again in clear and silent defiance of her protests. Even without words, the message is clear. 'Fuck you.'

"Oiii!!! Haa, I hate this place…" The lizard complains, both hands on its face like it is trying to drag the stress out of it rotting brain.

The humans in question can only stare at this weird zombie, looking like they are between waiting for a fight and wanting to ask questions. Eventually, the zombie just lets out a long breath and then turns its attention back to them.

"Sorry about that… But seriously, leave already. I've important things to do here, and I don't need you getting in my way- No Mimmie, don't chew on that; I need it for the puzzle. No, no! Mimmie, please don't distract mommy right now, she is on the phone. Here, have some frog legs… Wait, what the heck is a phone, and how do I know that word?" The lizard blinks and shakes its head, refocusing on the humans instead of whoever this, Mimmie, is. "Sorry about that. Seriously, just leave already."

"Yeah… I don't think we are going to do that." Susan tells it, her, in response.

This is not what I was expecting at all. I was expecting an evil, cackling dark wizard. Not… not this…

The lizard just pouts, or at least the best approximation of a pout that a rotting lizard corpse can do.

"Why not? I will kill you if you catch up to me. You do know that, right? I know I have a bounty on my head, but it can't seriously be worth throwing your lives away. How much even is my bounty now anyways?"

"One platinum."

The lizard just tilts its head to the side, looking confused.

"Is that a lot? Just one?"

"One platinum is worth a thousand gold coins."

"Oh! I think that is a lot of money… The original amount was much less, and people were still willing to hunt me for it. Cool! There is something nice about having such a high bounty… I wonder how high I can get it? Still, you're willing to throw away your life over money? You can't spend it if you're dead, you know. Come on, get of here already. Go back and tell everyone to not bother me anymore."

"We're not going to do that. And we aren't doing this just for the money! You are trying to kill tens-of-thousands of people. You've killed hundreds already! Our clan mates, they died to see us here! We aren't leaving until we have your head!"

"I'm not trying to kill anyone though? Well, except for the Dungeon of course. I am definitely going to kill you!"

"What are you talking about!? Destroying the Dungeon would destroy Silest along with it. Do you have any idea how many people will die when that happens?"

"Uh, none?"

"What!?"

"You see, I've had a lot of time to think about it, which has been great for my conscious, and quite frankly, destroying the Dungeon doesn't really mean that I am trying to kill the people of Silest. Destroy the city, most definitely. But not kill the people. After all, they know what I am doing. They are more than able to flee at any point between now and when I succeed. So, quite frankly, anyone that refuses to evacuate, their deaths aren't on me. They are making their choice to stay, despite knowing that the city will collapse. That's on them, literally."

"It doesn't work like that, and you know it."

"No, I'm pretty sure it does… After all, if their house collapses on them after they were repeatedly told that it was going to happen, then it is their fault for not getting out of the way."

Elaine raises her hand. "But you're the one that made their house fall, though?"

"Yeah, sure. But with weeks of advance notice. If they choose to stay, knowing full well what is about to happen, then that is suicide as far as I'm concerned. I'm not killing anyone. After all, you wouldn't blame a volcano for killing people if it had been rumbling for weeks and then went off. Of course, that doesn't apply to those who get in my way. You four will die if you try to stop me. So, leave. Get out of here and tell everyone up in your city to hurry up and evacuate already." The lizard waves its hands at them like it is trying to get rid of a begging stray cat. "Shoo, shoo."

"It's not that simple! You can't just tell them to leave and expect them to do so!" Susan shouts at the puppet lizard.

It just shrugs. "Why not? Is their stuff worth more than their lives? What's keeping them from just packing up and leaving?"

"Because then they would be refugees, and would have to flee to other cities, and try to start their lives over from almost nothing. And that is if those cities will even accept those refugees or not."

"But, they would still be alive… Human, you aren't very smart, are you?" The lizard asks, looking genuinely concerned for Susan's mental capabilities.

"It doesn't work like that. You would still be responsible for their deaths!"

"Nu'uh, I'm in the clear." It says as it crosses its arms.

"You-!"

"Susan, stop. She is just stalling for time and messing with you. If we are close, we need to hurry up and find her."

Susan looks back at Dale for a second before returning an angry look toward the smug lizard.

"You're right, let's just hurry up and finish this. It doesn't matter what she thinks if she is dead after all."

"Ahhh, come on. Stay here and keep talking with me. I'm sure that I can convince you eventually. Or, better yet, leave! Go on, get out of here. Stairs leading up are that way. If you leave now, I will stop attacking you, now shoo. I have more important things to do than entertaining guests and… Yes, that did it, finally! Hahaha, I solved it! Yes, Yes! All that time spent collecting all those damn, colored wheels, finally! Welcome back Bo- Dang it… It's just Zax. Sorry Billy, it looks like Bob is the last one we're getting back. Still, good to have you back, Zax. Go join Sam over there… Oh, woops, I'm still talking though Lizard Joe… Well… No more reason to keep stalling. See ya later, humans! You have two hours and thirty-eight minutes left until I start spreading the shooms. I would really recommend leaving before then. Come on Mimmie, let's get g-"

"Wait!" Susan calls out to the corpse, but the connection is already cut, and it goes back to being just a normal, brainless zombie, it's mouth still stuck mid word.

A moment passes and all the zombies remain motionless, still standing stock still where they had been. The next, they are all bursting into motion without warning, going back onto the attack with even greater aggression than before.

But they die all the same. The zombies fight tooth and nail, but by the end, they are all turned into a mess on the floor, the two mages not having to raise a finger the entire time.

When the fighting is done and Susan is taking a breather to drink some water, Elaine points up at the ceiling, sounding a bit concerned.

"Uhm, guys? The Dungeon is doing something."

"Hm?"

They all look up and find the lights no longer flickering, but instead flashing in sequence, the wave of lights going on and off, running down the hall and taking a turn two intersections down.

"Guess the Dungeon is done pretending… It must really want us to get her. Come on, let's get moving. We're on a time limit after all." Dale declares.

As he does so, the trailing guide of lights updates, the path no longer turning left at the intersection but instead leading straight ahead. The lights start flashing faster and they quickly get the message.

Their target is moving. Fast. If they don't hurry it up, she will get away before they can catch her.

Their only option is to run and hope they can get there in time.