The Dungeon's Worst Little Mistake

"Eugh… Really wish we could have packed some actual food." Elaine complains after gaging down a hearty meal of food slurry for breakfast. No matter how many of these things she eats, or really, drinks, the taste never gets better. It doesn't even really have so much of a taste, but is more of a texture and gooeyness that makes it feel repulsive to swallow.

"Ah, I would kill for some jerky right now." Susan agrees, sitting beside her by the hearth of the Safe Room.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, they have more than enough of the stuff to last them for quite a while. Feeling curious, and quite frankly sick of the stuff, Elaine gets up from her seat and tosses the empty container into the fire. Walking over to a nearby wall, she pulls of some of the ever-present moss and returns to her seat.

"What you doing with that stuff?"

"I heard that it's edible…"

"You'd rather eat moss?"

"I'd rather eat almost anything by this point. I just need something other than that stuff!"

Susan doesn't say anything else and just watches curiously as Elaine sniffs the moist moss. She knows that the stuff is edible, but she has never bothered trying it herself. Supposedly, some poor people who can't afford very much food will sometimes go into the first floor to gather the stuff to eat when they have no other options. Especially during the winters. Some adventurers, desperate for money, will even gather the stuff by the basket loads, and then sell them to low-income families for a couple coppers a pound. At least then, they have something to put in their soup.

Elaine has clearly never tried the stuff either, so she is hesitant to take a bite of the squishy moss. Eventually, she nipples off a piece and chews it for a bit.

"So?"

"Hmm… It's not bad. Not much of a taste to it, sort of like a grassy cabbage? Very chewy…"

"Is it better than the slop?"

Elaine pops the rest of it in her mouth and chews. "Much."

"Well, that's all I need to know."

Susan throws her own slop container in the fire and then goes to grab a couple handfuls of moss for the two of them to share.

When Dale wakes up from a full night's sleep, he gets up to find the two ladies munching on moss of all things and just gives them both a confused look.

"It doesn't taste that bad, actually. I wouldn't eat this regularly, but it's not bad… Oh, morning, Dale."

"Good morning… You enjoying your breakfast there?"

They both just shrug and say unanimously, ""It's better than slop.""

Elaine giggles. "Ah, jinx! You owe me a drink!"

"Jinx? What are you, a kid?" Susan asks with a smile.

"No! But you do owe me a drink, though. That's how it works. It's the rules…"

Definitely still a kid.

Susan decides to eat some more moss instead of saying it though. She knows how much Elaine hates being treated like a child. She is almost twenty after all, and has been an adult for a few years now. It's just her own fault that she keeps acting like it. And that she is cute… Also, being small doesn't help her case very much either.

Hell, just the other day, that old shopkeeper mistook her as my kid sister and gave her a candy. "Make sure to hold your big sister's hand. You don't want to get lost in the market, sweety." Hahaha!

Susan can't help but to giggle as she chews on some moss, remembering Elaine getting angry, but not wanting to yell at the nice old lady, fuming with a piece of candy in her cheek.

"What so funny?"

"You're short, haha."

"Wha! Why, wo- Don't call me short! I'm not that small! Don't laugh!!!"

Elaine is hitting her now, but the little healer's fists hardly hurt, and if anything, it just makes Susan want to laugh even harder.

"Is there something in that moss?" Dale has to ask as he is watching them, but Susan just smiles.

"Nah, just remembering something funny." She says as Elaine continues to punch her arm with the fury of a thousand shorties. Susan doesn't bother to stop her; she'll tire herself out eventually.

"Ah." Is all he says, a little smile growing on his bearded face. Digging out some 'breakfast' of his own, he gets comfortable by the fire and drinks down his slop. He's good at hiding it, but he is clearly disgusted by the stuff. After finishing it, he watches the two snacking on moss and silently decides to give it a try as well. By this point, Elaine had indeed tired herself out from punching Susan and chose to return to her moss with a little pout on her cute face.

Adorable~ If any of the guys at the Clan saw this, they'd be furiously drawing pictures of her… Actually, I want one. I want of a drawing of her pouting will eating. I'll have to bully her a bit when we get back, see if I can make it happen. Would totally be worth it.

Fawning over her cute little sister in her head, Susan pops the rest of her moss in her mouth and washes it down with a swig of water.

"So, Ben, you almost done recharging?" Susan asks the Fire Mage who has been silently meditating by the fire this entire time. He had woken up a bit before Dale and dived straight into refilling his core by the fire after a quick meal of slop. Susan can almost feel as the energy of the hearth's fire is being pulled into his body.

"Working on it… You would think that a forever burning fire would be a great source of mana, but it just isn't as good as the real thing."

Susan doesn't bother asking why, because she knows that that would just lead into a lecture on magic theory that would just go in one ear and out the other. Elaine would enjoy it though. But that is only natural, considering that she has a crush on the guy.

He could talk about rocks, and she would probably enjoy it. I wonder if she knows that I know about her crush? Or for that matter, that everyone knows… I don't think that Ben knows though. Is he just dense, or just not interested? Hmm… I wonder if I need to have 'The Talk' with Elaine? She's a big girl now, still short, but definitely a woman now. Oh! If she has any kids, will that make me aunty Susan!? I'm going to be an aunt! Oh, I am going to spoil the fuck out of those kids, especially if they are anywhere near as cute as their mommy is.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

"Hey, Ben."

"What?"

"Hurry up, don't keep Elaine waiting." Or me.

"Doing my best here." He says as he opens one eye to look over at Elaine, who is happily munching on a mouthful of moss like a hamster. "And does Elaine have something she is waiting for; what's the rush?"

You know what she's waiting for! Hurry up and give me some nieces and nephews already!

"To get out of this Dungeon, obviously. She needs a bath…"

Elaine gives herself a sniff and asks Susan, "Do I smell bad?"

Susan just turns her head away and refuses to answer.

"Hey! I don't smell that bad, right? Right!? Susan! Hey, it's not that bad, right guys? Dale, Ben?"

Ben closes his eyes and returns to meditating, not saying a word. Dale just looks away and keeps eating his moss…

"Come on, I don't smell that bad! Ahh, Susan, stop picking on me!"

"You smell like flowers and sunshine…" Susan deadpans.

"Don't lie! What do I actually smell like?"

"Like lilacs on a moonlit night…"

"Lies!" She jumps onto Susan, grabbing onto her like an angry koala bear onto a tree and trying to force her pits into Susan's face.

"Smell it and tell the truth!"

"Ah! Sweaty! Sticky! Smelly!!!" Susan jokingly complains as she fights backs, pushing to protect herself from getting a face full of armpit.

The two of them fall out of Susan's chair and start to wrestle, with Susan obviously holding back the entire time and just happily playing around. If she wanted to, she could easily rip Elaine off of her body and manhandle her like a child. But that wouldn't be fun, and after the last few incredibly stressful days they've been having, they all certainly need some fun in their life right now.

Unfortunately, all good things have to eventually end, and their play time is sadly ruined by Dale calling out a warning.

"Undead at the door!"

Ben snaps out of his meditation. Dale stands and raises his hammer. Susan and Elaine immediately separate and get to their feet, with Susan drawing her sword in one smooth motion. In a heartbeat everyone is instantly ready for combat.

Standing there in the doorway is a single Lizard Man zombie. It had stopped just there, not having taken a single step inside yet and is doing nothing else.

"Can it not enter, because of the Safe Room?" Elaine eventually asks after a couple of seconds of just everyone staring at the thing and waiting.

"No, I don't think so? The other Safe Rooms couldn't stop them. I don't think that this one is any different, right?" Susan answers.

She doesn't take her eyes off the thing, just waiting for it to attack. But this is weird.

Why is it alone? Why isn't it doing anything? Undead don't do this, not unless…

"It's being controlled." Ben tells everyone, having apparently come to the same conclusion as Susan a moment sooner.

"So, what should we do? Is that a bad thing?"

"Depends. Some mages can use spells to see through the eyes of their minions. The Necromancer could be looking at us, right now."

"That certainly doesn't sound like a good thing." Dale states as he takes a step closer to the rotting lizard.

It snaps its head in his direction and raises a hand towards him. Everyone tenses, waiting for something to happen, but the lizard still doesn't move beyond that.

"There's something in its hand." Elaine eventually points out, and when everyone else checks they too find something white held tightly by its big scaly fingers.

"I'm going to kill it and find out what it is, Elaine, stay back in case it is a trap."

"Okay, just be careful."

Moving forward slowly, Susan raises her sword above her head. One step, two, three, she soon becomes the closest person to it in the room and it immediately turns towards her, arm outstretched and seemingly offering. Susan stops, but it does nothing else. It just stands there and blankly looks at her with dead eyes.

Closer, closer still. One step at a time until she is in striking range. It doesn't move even so much as an inch. The thing might as well be a statue, just standing there with its arm held out for her.

"Fucking weird, but ok…"

She moves and cuts it down. A single cut divides its body in halves and the two parts fall to either side, destroying the zombie instantly and returning it to being just a lifeless corpse on the floor.

Ignoring the mess, Susan squats down and pries open its fingers, grabbing the white thing it was holding.

"Paper?" She says as she looks it over.

It has to be some of the highest quality paper that she has ever seen, being pure white and so incredibly smooth. Susan has seen expensive books written on equally expensive paper, but nothing anywhere near as good as this.

She unfolds it after checking to ensure that the hallway outside is clear, and looks it over.

"The Necromancer sent us a letter…" Susan says after giving it a read, her face clearly looking displeased.

"Well, that can't be good at all." Dale states with a grunt. "What does it say?"

She walks over and hands it to him so he can read it out loud. Though he does take a moment to admire the penmanship.

'Hello humans,

If you are reading this, it means that I know you are here on the 13th floor. Welcome! I knew that some of you would eventually come to stop me, and I have been eagerly awaiting your arrival. Now then, I would like to present you with this opportunity to escape before I kill you all. Leave. Return to the upper floors and take the teleporter to return to the surface. I commend you for managing to get this far and for managing to slay my Cleaner, but this is as far as you will get. Beyond this point only lies death and regret. This will be my only warning to you.

Upon killing the zombie holding this note, I will know where you are within the Dungeon and will begin sending my forces to crush you. If you did not kill the zombie, it is under orders to destroy itself if the note has been taken from its hand by a human.

Further, should my Undead forces not be enough to convince you to leave of your own accord, or to simply kill you, I will begin spreading the Death Fungous on this floor within four hours of you receiving this note.

If you truly wish to stop me and have decided to disregard my warning and offer to leave, then please feel free to try and find me. I will be expecting you and ready to fight.

Finally, just know this. I know that the Dungeon is helping you. And no matter how much it cheats; it won't be enough to stop me. I WILL win.

Regardless, I hope you have a great day!

Sincerely, and with much love, Bug.

P.S. If you find more copies of this letter, just know that I sent out like a couple dozen of these things to make sure that at least one of them reaches you. So, yeah. Feel free to ignore them. Actually, you know what? Go ahead and collect them. If you manage to bring me ten, I'll give you a cookie as a reward.'

"I want a cookie!" Elaine declares first thing as soon as Dale finishes reading out the letter for everyone.

"You don't seriously think that the Necromancer would just give you a cookie, do you?"

"I don't know, maybe? But if I can get one, I would like to have it…"

Susan just gives Elaine a look, who just gives a sweet innocent little smile in return.

Susan grabs the letter and hands it to her.

"Fine, if the cookie isn't a lie, and we get all ten letters, you can have it."

"Yay!"

"Moving on, what do we do now? She knows where we are now, and if the letter is true, then we are about to be getting some company."

Dale just shrugs. "The only thing we can do. We go on the attack and find her. We can't leave; not after everything we've done to get here."

Ben nods. "I don't care how much Undead she sends our way. I'm avenging our comrades and collecting that bounty."

Everyone nods at that, firm in their resolve.

"Only one problem though. We still have to find her, and she could be literally anywhere on this floor. And to make matters worse, we only have four hours to do so."

"Mhm, we only have two working hazmat suits left." Dale says with a look towards the corner where Susan and Elaine's still functional suits are sitting. "If she starts spreading the mushrooms, we won't have any choice but to run."

"Elaine and I could continue hunting her, but I don't like our chances with just the two of us." Is what Susan says next, but in reality, it isn't the chance of success that she is worried about. With it just being the two of them, she can't guaranty that she would be able to keep Elaine safe. If it did come down to that, she would just take her and run away. The mission is now on a deadline.

"Would she really spread mushrooms while still on this floor though?" Elaine asks.

"We need to assume that she is probably immune, or has some way to protect herself from them."

"That, or she intends to flee down the stairs first."

"We could make that assumption and guard the stairs, but if it ends up that she is immune, then we will be in a bad situation. Our only option is to hunt her down, and if that fails, retreat."

"Agreed." "Yup."

"Ok, sounds good."

"Then it's time to get going. Pack up and let's get moving. I don't want to be stuck in here when an army of the Undead show up at our door."

"And I want that cookie!"

Dale sighs, "Yes, yes. And we need to get Elaine her cookie. Keep an eye out for notes."