The Broken Prince's Love

The last evening had been stressful enough, and today would make it even worse.

The day after the emperor's birthday, a tea party was held. Tea parties were the worst events in noble society, so Cedar's mood was already ruined from the very beginning. In his opinion, tea parties were only excuses to gossip and bother other people with the least interesting stories one could imagine.

So, Cedar had looked forward to being with Lucille again, only to be disappointed upon finding out that her father had just forbidden her from going with the prince. Apparently, she would spend the day with her friend, Lady Lamont.

Cedar had no choice but to accept that, even if he was slightly annoyed. After all, he would be forced to keep an eye on Lucille the whole time to make sure that no unpleasant person got too close to her, and still, he wouldn't be able to talk to her. Instead, he had to deal with everyone else, especially the annoying people.

He had quickly saved himself by standing next to his cousin and aunt while using the excuse of taking a closer look at Rebecca for a while. In reality, he was busy looking around to find out who attended. He found too many unpleasant people quickly. But at the same time, something else relieved him a bit.

Lucille was sitting next to her friend, Duke Lamont's daughter. That family should be powerful enough to give her some protection.

So, Cedar had enough time to avert his eyes occasionally. He did just that when his aunt spoke up again and hoped that she didn't notice how mentally absent he had been.

Selena beamed at him and seemingly ended her sentence without realizing that he had looked away the whole time. “I am rather glad about that though. That means that my daughter at least has my eye color. She looks like she is my child too, even if her hair resembles her father's and Luciano's.”

Cedar gazed at the baby again and examined the short hair stubs that revealed that she would have black hair. Rebecca happily babbled at him, and he had to smile at that. “It shouldn't be surprising that she is your daughter. She resembles you a lot, so we can be sure that she will be a beautiful young lady in just a few years.”

Selena nodded at that and gently swayed her daughter to the side, which caused Rebecca to let out a small, undefinable noise of happiness. “We are certain of that too. I can barely wait to see her grow up. She is very sweet right now, but she is a bit clingy. I can't leave the room unless Luciano is there, or she will yell until the walls shake. Even her nursemaid isn't able to calm her down completely. It's rather complicated, especially since she hates strangers. She seems to like you though. She didn't cry even though you came closer. She even tried to touch you, for which I want to apologize again.” It was unnecessary for her to mention that once more.

Earlier, Rebecca had wanted to greet the strange, new man and had lifted her hand to reach for Cedar's face. She had used a bit too much energy, but since she was a baby, the impact hadn't hurt at all.

Cedar had only noticed a small smack but had never complained about it. He still didn't intend to accept an apology. “I said that it was fine. It didn't hurt, and even if it did, I wouldn't have been angry with her. Rebecca meant to greet me and did it in her way.” He glanced down at the little girl, who was in the middle of trying to nibble at her foot only to be stopped by her mother. “I'm surprised that you forced yourself to come here when Rebecca won't let go of you. Normally, you don't take babies to a tea party, right?”

Luciano chimed in at that. “Of course not. But we can't just stay home during the next five years or so. We decided that it would be better to attend when we can. His Majesty knows that we are a bit busy, so he is lenient. Since many people find Rebecca cute, few complained. The only problem begins when she cries and won't stop because someone got too close for her taste.” He reached over to caress his sister's cheek with his index finger.

Rebecca let out a high-pitched scream at that and happily attempted to grab his hand. When she caught it, she triumphantly held his finger with her whole hand and squeezed him as tightly as she could. That earned her a little laugh.

Cedar had to thank the gods when he saw that. At least his aunt had been able to raise her children normally despite her sister being such a horrible person. It had been good that Camille hadn't spent much time with her nephew, or she might have messed him up too. Cedar had been the one with the short end of the stick, and that was good. Making any other people suffer wouldn't have been necessary too.

Luciano played with Rebecca for a moment before he lifted his gaze, and his eyes fell onto something behind Cedar. A grin formed on his lips as he whispered something. “Your father-in-law is here. It seems that he wants to scold you.”

Cedar remained unmoving for a moment. “You mean Lucille's father?” He had only joked but turned around and saw Viscount Valerian a few steps away from them. “Ah.” It was really Lucille's father. Then he could guess what this was about. He glanced at his aunt and cousin again. “I apologize for cutting the conversation short, but I fear that someone else wishes for my presence. I will be back when I am done. Have a nice afternoon until then.” He didn't even ask whether they wanted him to come back. He would make sure not to bother them for too long though, so it should be fine. After all, he was met with two bright smiles when he left. The prince only took a few steps before he stopped in front of the viscount. “Good day, Lord Valerian. How have you been recently?”

Raymond showed the serious expression he always seemed to have in public. He bowed for a moment before speaking up. “Good day, Your Royal Highness. Nothing special happened during the past few weeks, and I am in good health. I would like to have a short conversation with you.”

“I don't mind. Let us take a walk together while speaking. After all, I assume that you don't want anyone, especially not Lucille, to listen to us.” Cedar waited until the other man frowned at him and quickly turned around. He knew that Raymond would follow him, so he didn't even bother slowing his pace. He only looked at Lucille to ensure that she was still sitting with Fiona Lamont before focusing on his destination. They reached the tiled path that led around the flowerbeds near the terrace, from which Cedar could still see Lucille, and stopped there.

Viscount Valerian quickly caught up to him. For a moment, he was quiet, but then he addressed the topic directly. “What do you want from my daughter?” That question was hard to answer.

Cedar would like to know himself. Right now, it felt like he wanted Lucille to be with him for as long as possible. But since he was completely inexperienced when it came to personal relationships, he could only guess. However, when talking with Raymond, he would still need to stick to the original story. To that man, Cedar was Lucille's lover, so he would have to act like that too. “That is an interesting question. Could you specify what you mean by that? I like Lucille a lot, so I do not want anything but her company.” That wasn't a lie, even if he wouldn't mind having a bit more of her than just her friendship. Even though that was a horrible idea.

Viscount Valerian's eyes narrowed as he glared at the prince. “I'm not dense. I know that you didn't fall in love. You are much too calculative for that. You want to use Lucille in some way. She may be young enough to fall for your act, but I am very much aware that you wouldn't do anything without planning for your gain first.”

Cedar couldn't hold back the small laugh that escaped him. “That is amusing coming from you.” He ignored the other man's darkening expression and replied honestly. “You should know how it happened though. I almost bled out in your garden, and Lucille saved my life without telling anyone where I was. I didn't reject a chance to recover in peace without Lord Astame being directly behind me. So, I have to admit that she was very convenient for me in the beginning. But with every minute I spent with Lucille, I liked her more. Is that so hard to believe? You should know that your daughter is a wonderful person.”

Raymond gritted his teeth at that. “Don't use such phrases against me. I am not insulting her when I say that I doubt that you are capable of developing serious feelings for her. I know that relationships in noble society aren't connected to many emotions in general, but you should at least be honest with her. You won't just tell her about love and fairy tales before dropping her without a warning.”

Cedar wouldn't do that. In fact, he would rather do the opposite and hold her close despite knowing that his background created a difficult situation for every single one of his acquaintances. He couldn't quite say that, so he chose to give a more complex answer. “It may be hard to believe, Lord Valerian, but I am a human too. I would claim that I have the right to change. And I never felt like I might change as much as I did now. You should have noticed that some things are happening behind the scenes. I'm on Theodore's side now and will support him, even if that may be unpleasant for some people. But that wasn't what you asked about at all.” Cedar rounded a corner and slowed his steps when they passed a flowerbed with red roses. The color was enough to remind him of her. He turned to the viscount and smiled at him while speaking. “To be honest, I don't know what this is. I have never been in love, so I would not be able to tell you what it feels like. But...” He glanced over at Lucille again.

She was laughing with her friend. She looked much too beautiful while doing that. Just seeing Lucille lower her guard for a moment as she expressed the joy she was feeling was heavenly.

Cedar scanned her for a moment before focusing his attention on Lord Valerian again. “But I know that I like her a lot. More than I ever liked anyone before. Maybe that is love. It definitely is the closest I ever got to it. You can rest assured that I care.” He was mainly saying that to ensure that Lucille's father continued to misunderstand, but he also had to admit that there wasn't a single lie among his words.

Raymond didn't seem convinced despite that sincere delivery. “Why would I believe you? The last time you came back to the palace, you led a revolt and tried to kill your brother. And before that, you helped your mother send assassins to kill His Majesty. Don't act innocent now.”

Cedar sighed. He didn't like using that excuse again, but it was the truth. “Lord Valerian, let me be direct. If I had wanted to kill my brother, he would be lying in a pool of his own blood already. I would have taken care of that directly after the first assassination attempt if I had wanted to be sure. If the revolt had been supposed to end with me being emperor, the palace would have been full of corpses, and either I or Theodore would be dead now. And regarding the incident seven years ago, I can only say that you should know what children can or can't do when their parents plot something.” He glanced over at the other man.

Viscount Valerian seemed to have understood what he was referring to. “She told you.”

“Of course. I know all about the manipulative games you played and used your own daughter for. I told her about my past in return. But I doubt that you want to hear that since it would prove that she and I trust each other.” Cedar showed him a bright smile. “You see, I know why you are doing this here. You are worrying about Lucille. I understand that completely. But I would also say that it proves that you are a hypocrite. After all, you do care. And yet, she doesn't know that. It would be nice of you to show it instead of scaring her.” He hadn't meant to say so much, but he couldn't hold back. Not when he knew about how Lucille felt when it came to her father.

Raymond clenched his jaw and froze in place for a moment. He got angrier with each second that passed, and his voice trembled when he spoke up. “What are you saying?”

Cedar didn't bother veiling his intention more than necessary. “I'm saying that I know that there are people that love their children and don't show it properly. That could end with their children waking up while being terrified of being unable to marry because of scars despite them just having been hit with an arrow. Or them being petrified at the prospect of being visited by their parent and then being joyful when they notice that their father won't yell at them for getting hurt. Things like that.” He looked at the roses while speaking and only turned back a moment later.

Viscount Valerian was fuming. “You-” He was definitely hateful but not with the prince.

Cedar knew that and just gave him a slight smile. “You know that I'm right. I completely agree with me not being a good person. I would also say that I'm extremely dangerous and not someone an innocent young lady should be with. But at the same time, I never snapped at her. I never raised my voice at her nor have I ever hurt her. Lucille isn't scared of me. So, I don't know whether you have the qualifications to criticize me.”

That silenced Raymond completely.

Cedar didn't need to say much else, but he wanted to speak more. This didn't concern him, but it concerned Lucille, and he wanted her to feel as good as possible. “I know that you want to become better. You want to take care of your daughter and make up for what you did. It's not that easy, and the past won't disappear. But if you want to try improving this, think about her first. If she is happy, don't take that away from her because you don't agree with it.”

It was silent for a moment. The prince almost expected that he would be yelled at, but the opposite happened.

Raymond stared at the floor while he balled his fists. “I...made that mistake once.”

Cedar turned to him again. “What?”

“Not letting a person I care about know until it was too late. I made that mistake once. That is why I will not do it again.” Viscount Valerian was uncharacteristically quiet when he said that. It seemed like even he had some sort of weakness. It didn't earn that cowardly bastard any pity.

Cedar gave him a bright smile. “Good. It would be better to remember that from now on. Because Lucille is still happy about you being nice to her. You haven't lost her yet. You can't erase the past, but you can try to act with her best interest in mind from now on. You should be grateful that she even offers you so much kindness after everything you did, so you would do well to move heaven and earth in her interest. Was there something else you needed to tell me?” Because he didn't have anything else to say to the other man. He only needed Raymond to get himself together since him acting like a father for once made Lucille happy.

Viscount Valerian was quiet for a moment and met the prince's gaze with a serious expression. “No. There wasn't anything else. Goodbye, Your Royal Highness.”

Cedar nodded at that. “Goodbye, Lord Valerian.” He turned around and only took two steps before the other man spoke up again.

“Don't hurt her.” That he even dared to say that was quite arrogant.

Cedar glanced over his shoulder and forced his smile to disappear for once. “That isn't my intention. I'm in the middle of trying to keep others from hurting her.” And that included Raymond as well. But Cedar didn't tell him more. He focused his attention on the terrace again, and his smile returned after a second.

The prince walked down the gray stone pathway that led to the terrace and immediately focused on his previous schedule again. He didn't want to talk to his mother, so he would have to do his best to avoid her. At the same time, he needed to keep an eye on whether Jenna had decided to annoy Lucille and chime in if there was an emergency. He turned his head just slightly to scan the table. He had expected to find the familiar shade of red in the corner of his eyes, but it was missing. Cedar turned around completely.

Lucille wasn't at the table anymore.

He looked around, and with every second he didn't find her, he became more uncertain. Lucille wouldn't run away to take a walk alone, would she? Fiona Lamont was still sitting at the table.

The prince spun around to check whether Raymond was still alone. He was. Then where was Lucille?

Cedar began cursing himself. He looked away for a minute, and she immediately disappeared? That didn't match her usual behavior at all, so he doubted that this was a coincidence. He didn't think twice before rushing toward the table. He didn't care about how surprised Fiona was and that she almost dropped her teacup. “Lady Lamont, my apologies. Where is Lucille?”

Fiona looked at him like he was a spirit before regaining her composure. She barely hid her small frown but put on a somewhat convincing smile. “Good day, Your Royal Highness. Another noble lady asked her for a conversation in private. They entered the palace through that door.” She gestured to the building.

And that sudden invitation hadn't seemed suspicious to them in the slightest? What random noble lady would want Lucille to come into the palace when the guests were all outside?

Cedar only needed to look around once more to confirm that he didn't find his mother anywhere. This was just great. He didn't say anything else to Fiona and immediately moved to the side entrance to slip inside the palace.

If Camille had coincidentally disappeared while Lucille had vanished into thin air, his mother had done something. Certainly, the dowager couldn't harm anyone while guards were watching them, but she was a master at intimidating others and didn't hold back any vile words.

Lucille was shy enough, so she didn't need someone to make her even more uncertain.

The prince ignored the people around him and how the servants stared at him. He needed to find the room that Camille would choose to scare someone. Something like a cell would be best, but she probably wouldn't be allowed to go there. Then the storage rooms next to the cellar might be fitting as well. Or one of the seating rooms next to them. In any case, Cedar should be able to find them as long as he asked some guards about whether his mother had passed by. Just as he was about to address one of the knights, he caught a glimpse of brown hair at the end of the hallway.

Lady Peril.

His mother knew that he would avoid her. So, he could take a safe guess that Camille was hiding somewhere over there. Cedar didn't hesitate to walk toward that end of the corridor.

As expected, Jenna had waited for him. She immediately came toward him and curtsied with a bright smile on her face.

Cedar was close to ignoring her, but he could imagine what would happen then. The last time he had tried to go without greeting her, she had clung to him even more than before. “Lady Peril. Your timing is a bit unpleasant. I apologize, but I will need to delay this conversation.”

Jenna pouted at that and laid the handle of her fan against her lips. “I'm hurt. You always seem to say that to me. And yet, you have time for everyone else. You are treating me unfairly, Your Royal Highness.” She should be thankful. If he did what he actually felt like doing, he would already have ruined his reputation in this nation.

Cedar just smiled at her. “Lady Peril, you seem to misunderstand. I need to discuss something with the very person that told you to stand here. It shouldn't be surprising that I am in a hurry. You probably know what I am talking about.”

Jenna lowered her fan and folded her hands while looking at him with an expression that might have made everyone else look innocent. “I am unsure what you mean, Your Royal Highness. I was just standing here because I wanted to take a breather after the stress at the tea party. You dislike that type of event the most too, right? We are very similar in that regard.” She slowly came toward him. It was rather clear what she would plan on doing.

Cedar had little interest in letting her touch him in any way. But he would like to avoid pushing her away too since that had been problematic the last time he lost his composure. “Lady Peril. Step out of the way, please. I will return to the party in a few minutes. If you need to bother me then, I do not mind discussing something with you. But as I said, I am-”

Jenna didn't have any interest in listening to him. “So cold.” She stepped closer again and stood directly in front of him. She tilted her head back to look up at him and scanned his whole body in the process. “You are so much more mature now, but you are still just as frosty when it comes to me. I don't know whether to be disappointed or whether to believe that you can't deal with your emotions when I'm near you. I have to say that I am intrigued either way, even if I'd clearly favor the second option.”

Cedar's patience was hanging by a thread. Yet, he knew that lashing out at that woman would only make him want to throw up later, so he had to stay calm despite his frustration. “I'd clearly favor it if you let me pass after I asked you thrice. You don't seem to value the orders of a member of the royal family, Lady Peril.” He took a step to the side, and she mirrored that motion.

She stood still right in front of him while she grinned up at him. “Oh, didn't I ask you to call me ‘Jenna’ when we are alone? I hoped that you would be kind enough to do that for me. After all, a shiver runs down my spine whenever you say my name.”

Cedar couldn't remember ever using her first name because he knew well how she would react.

Lady Peril didn't seem to care much about lying though. “In any case, your mother told me to stay here. And since she has a higher rank than you, at least she still has it, I cannot listen to you without disobeying her. But maybe you could sweeten the deal for me. If you say my name, I might let you pass.” Jenna reached up, most likely to cup Cedar's face.

Surely, the prince had wanted to refrain from touching her at any moment, but he only had one choice here. He caught her wrist before she could reach him and pushed her hand down. “I do not appreciate such jokes, especially not now. I'm telling you to get out of my way if you don't want me to tell the guards to move you by force. I have somewhere to go.” If he hadn't known that Lucille was safe from harm, he would have pushed Jenna aside already.

Thankfully, he hadn't done that. This little gesture had already been enough.

Lady Peril stared at his hand for a moment while she was frozen in place, and it was clear what she was thinking when he held her wrist. He immediately retracted his hand, but it was too late. She let out a low breath before slowly lifting her head as if she was stalling for time. A slight red blush was tinting her cheeks, and her words only revealed how shameless she was. “You know that I liked it when you were this authoritarian. Maybe I will step aside if you order me again. Your voice sounds very alluring when you act so cold.”

Cedar would have liked to narrow his eyes at her, but that would make it worse. So, he just ignored her and moved past her. “Your acting skills got better.”

Jenna just put more effort into upsetting him. She walked next to him for the next few steps. “Maybe I just like you even more now. You are all grown-up after all. You always were mature and handsome, but now you certainly outshine everyone. It's impressive. You are stronger than most men and more graceful than most women.” She was disgusting.

When Lucille blushed, it was cute, but when Jenna did it, it made feel Cedar like running away. Either that woman was extremely committed to her act, or she seriously liked the prince, and both options were just as horrible. But he wouldn't stay to find out.

Cedar just turned to the next guard. “Bring Lady Peril out to the other guests. She has no reason to be inside at the moment.” He didn't confirm whether his order was ignored. He just walked toward the end of the corridor.

As soon as he rounded the corner, he found the room. Certainly, Camille was inside.

A group of guards stood in front of a door while seemingly being unsure of what to do. When they noticed the prince, some looked relieved and some tensed. It was easy to see that they hoped that he would deal with the situation while also worrying about whether he was plotting something with his mother. And when they saw his expression, they might have gotten a bit concerned too.

Oh, it had been a while since Cedar had been this angry. And while he knew well that he wouldn't hurt anyone, he could seem rather scary to others when he got upset. Especially to Camille, who had seen what he was capable of. He didn't even ask anyone before opening the door and letting it slam against the wall.