The Broken Prince's Love

The past week had been rather uneventful, which had been perfect after the ball. Though, Lucille had to admit that she was close to throwing herself out of the window after remembering the conversation with Cedar.

How shameless could she have been? Asking him to stay the night and then actually sleeping on top of him had been ridiculous. Why had he even agreed? Had she been too pushy? And that wasn't even everything.

She had also asked him whether he had been in a relationship a few minutes after confessing that she liked him. Then Cedar had said something that had made her feel like he might truly like her.

Upon seeing him again for the first time, Lucille could have died out of embarrassment. She could have sworn that Cedar had laughed at that, but for some reason, she had felt like things were different now. It had been like the air was tingling between them. And even after a week had passed, it didn't feel like it would calm down any time soon, even as they interacted as they had before.

So, Lucille had decided to make a small gift to apologize to Cedar. Her initial idea had been embroidering something since she had always been good at that ever since she had been a child. She had asked the empress and her maids whether she was allowed to use some of the palace's utensils. That had ended up with all of them sitting in a room while sewing.

Lucille felt like everyone was staring at her when she began working on a handkerchief while doing her best to make it as gorgeous as possible. It would be for a member of royalty, so it had to be perfect. She tried to ignore being watched at first, but she couldn't do that for long. At some point, she looked up and met the others' gazes. “Am I doing something wrong?”

Stella shook her head as she leaned forward to look at the handkerchief on Lucille's lap. “No, on the contrary. It looks perfect. And I was even stupid enough to offer you help. I just assumed that you wouldn't be this good at it. I'm sorry.”

Lucille showed the other woman a little smile. “Well, most noble ladies don't do this often, so I understand why you thought that. It's just that I often practiced as a child. I like embroidery, so I often made some random items for fun.” Her mother had been the one to teach her how to do it, but she didn't say that out loud.

Blanche watched the other's hands before letting out a low sigh. “You have so steady hands that I'm getting envious. I bet my handkerchief for Theo would have turned out a hundred times better if my fingers stopped shaking. In the end, it wasn't bad, but I definitely could do better. I'll put in everything I have for next year's hunting festival.”

Stella nodded at that. “Definitely. But it will be hard to deal with competition when Lady Valerian makes such beautiful items. Obviously, she will give hers to His Royal Highness though, so you don't have to worry.”

Before Lucille could argue that there was no way that she could hand over an item that symbolized romantic attraction during the hunt, Darlene already took over. “Then he will already have two beautiful handkerchiefs. How unfair. His Royal Highness should be thankful when he receives this. If his beloved put in so much effort, then he should pay her back a dozen times.” She glanced at the other woman, as if she expected a reaction and wasn't disappointed.

Lucille couldn't help but avert her eyes while hastily focusing on her handkerchief. She didn't want to blush now, or she would underline the other's misunderstanding. So, she forced herself to keep her head hung low while she continued sewing. “We're not like that. We're just close friends. So, you shouldn't say things like this.”

Darlene shuffled around on her seat and put aside the gift she was making for her lover. “That sounds familiar. Where have I heard that already? Let me think. Wait, I think I know where I heard this. His and Her Majesty said the same thing for almost two years while they hid their relationship. Now they're married and have a child. Do you understand? His Royal Highness and His Majesty are brothers, so it wouldn't be surprising if something similar happens again.”

Lucille only got more embarrassed at that. “That's...not the same. We're not that close. We just...” She and Cedar had just cuddled together while sleeping for a whole night. And before that, they had inquired whether the other party had ever had a partner. It was obvious that this might be a hint that being friends didn't describe their relationship perfectly. Lucille had to admit that even she didn't know it anymore. When she finally dared to look up to check the others' expressions, she saw that the women were grinning.

Stella leaned to the side to rest her chin on her palm while her elbow sat on top of the armrest. “So, you are still in denial. Let me do a short quiz to determine the truth. Answer honestly. You can also keep quiet about the answer, but take a mental note of them. Did you ever feel this strongly about another person aside from His Royal Highness?”

Lucille wanted to refute that, but as soon as she heard the question, she wanted the other woman to continue. Sorting her feelings might be better if she just focused on it for once. So, she looked to the side and replied in a faint whisper. “No.”

Stella beamed at that and quickly added the second question. “Do you feel nervous when he's with you? Do you blush in his presence, especially when he comes too close?”

Lucille didn't have to think long about that answer. “Yes...” She felt like she always looked like a tomato when she saw Cedar.

Stella didn't seem surprised when she resumed. “Did you already hold hands? Aside from during the ball, I mean.”

Lucille immediately remembered multiple situations. By now, red was rushing to her cheeks, and she could only look down. “Yes.”

The maid couldn't help but smirk. “Ah, really? And you still say that you don't have a relationship like that. How odd. Then let me add the last question. We know that you hugged already and that His Royal Highness consoled you. Did you cuddle for more than a few minutes at a time already?”

Cedar and Lucille had shared a bed just a week ago. That should make the response very obvious.

Lucille pressed her lips together and forced herself to loosen her hold on the needles she was holding. She paused for a couple of seconds before she dared to speak up. “Yes...”

Stella looked like she felt great about winning here. She sat up upright while proudly announcing her verdict, even though it was obvious by now. “That sounds like you aren't just friends. Most friends don't do things like that, at least not while blushing and getting all embarrassed. The atmosphere between the two of you doesn't make it seem like you are friends, you know? How did you not notice that before? You are obviously romantically interested in one another. Why do you keep drawing out the confession?”

This had obviously been a joke, but it felt like a hit to Lucille's stomach. She glanced to the side and stopped her motions. Of course, she suspected that she was falling in love with Cedar right now. But one thing would keep her from ever thinking about that option. “It wouldn't work out.” Her voice was silent and bitter while she said that.

“That's not true.” Blanche's voice made Lucille look up. The empress' expression looked more determined than anything else when she spoke. “I also didn't believe that I would have my happy end, and here I am. Don't rule out that everything will end up in your favor. You can't give up. You and Cedar like each other. As long as that holds true, nothing will get between the two of you. I have first-hand knowledge in that regard. Even the laws of our world can't keep true love apart. And to be honest, I don't think Cedar would listen to anyone when he can do what makes him happy. He's more stubborn than almost everyone I know.”

Lucille put her needles and the handkerchief onto the table in front of her. She began wringing her fingers as she tried to explain why this was an issue. “Cedar is the prince of Artias. I'm a viscount's daughter.”

Blanche refuted that not even a second later. “I'm a commoner. I suddenly became noble after meeting Theo, and now I'm empress. I don't think that there would be an issue if you were to become the princess consort. Why would anyone complain? In fact, most nobles would be happy just because you are actually from an aristocratic household.” That might be true. However, this didn't solve all problems magically.

Lucille still had another reason to refute this would work. “But Cedar's wonderful. And I'm just...me.”

Blanche shook her head and spoke with emphasis in her voice. “No. You can forget such thoughts immediately. Those are what will harm you more than anything else. Not feeling good enough or questioning whether the other person can truly like you is the worst poison for a relationship. That will make you distance yourself from one another, and that can only end up badly. You are a wonderful person, and there is no reason to look down on yourself. The only difference between you and Cedar is your rank, and frankly, that doesn't matter at all.” Nothing but sincerity appeared in her eyes while she explained that without hesitation. “No matter how much you like Cedar, he is only human, just like you are. He isn't so special that normal humans wouldn't be good enough for him. As long as he likes you, you are qualified to be with him. And it's the same the other way around. Cedar is probably pondering whether he deserves to be with you right now. You will have to show him that you like him, or he will force himself to ignore all of his feelings because he thinks that it's best for you.” That was hard to imagine.

A person like Cedar had everything a person could want in a partner. Why would he need to worry about whether he was fitting for Lucille? She wanted to say that, but someone else already spoke.

Darlene, who had allowed herself to rest her head on Angelica's lap by now, contently sighed before chiming in. “I would argue that he isn't the perfect person you see him as either. You should have noticed that he has problems by now. He's known as the traitor that wished to kill His Majesty, remember? I mean, you can technically ignore that, but his circumstances still make him a problematic person.”

Angelica waited for her lover to finish before she continued. “I wouldn't phrase it like that. Since His Majesty chose to forgive him for that, it should be fine. But I would argue that His Royal Highness is still a person like everyone else. Thanks to his horrid mother, his childhood must not have been very nice, so it would make sense for him to have issues with expressing his feelings now. That means that it's probably not a good idea to wait for him to show what he thinks. You may have to approach him yourself.” She smiled at Lucille, who could only get more uncertain.

Did asking Cedar whether he had experience with women count as approaching him? And making him stay the night to cuddle too? Lucille slowly shook her head as she tried to push those thoughts away. If she imagined Cedar's face directly in front of her, she might not be able to respond properly anymore. They had been so close while speaking, and only their clothes had kept them from touching. The very thought was punishing.

Lucille pressed her lips together and shook her head again, this time with more vigor. She needed to think about other things. “I...” She forced herself to stay quiet for a moment before she spoke up again. “I don't think that this is a good idea. I...have no real future I can expect at Cedar's side. Not when he will probably meet someone much better at some point. My father also wouldn't agree.”

Blanche chimed in again. “He wouldn't? Even though you could be royalty? Normally, a viscount would be happy about that. Have you talked about the reasons already?”

Lucille fiddled with her hands for a moment before replying. “Well...due to some...circumstances, my father thinks that Cedar and I are...you know. When he heard that, he said that distrusted Cedar and told me to be careful. Because we didn't clear up the misunderstanding, he still believes that even now. My father visited me a few days ago and addressed me being with Cedar during the ball. He only repeated that he disliked me being close to someone he deems to be dangerous. A close friend of mine already warned me too. So, I feel like they, both my father and Fiona, might be really upset if they find out. But only Father can actually prevent me from staying here any longer. I fear that he would just make me come home if he thinks that...I'm considering staying this close to Cedar.”

Blanche remained quiet for a moment before replying. “I see. But there is no issue here, is there?”

Lucille was a bit taken aback by that. “Pardon? How is that not a problem?”

The empress smiled and quickly began explaining. “There are only two choices now, and both wouldn't cause issues. Maybe your father gets angry and tries to intervene. Then you simply have to wait until you are twenty, and you are free to do whatever you want. If you are my lady-in-waiting, he can't simply force you back either. So, you'd stay here for two years until everything is resolved. But I believe that your father won't go that far. If he thinks that you are in a relationship, he has to expect that you will stay together with that person. But he didn't interrupt yet, nor did he try to keep Cedar from seeing you. So, you should be fine. You only need to give him time to accommodate to his daughter suddenly meeting the prince, whom he always saw as an enemy.” When she finished, she put on a smile, which seemed rather convincing.

But Lucille still didn't believe that it would be that easy. Why would her father change his mind as time passed? Raymond didn't trust Cedar, as foolish as she found it when he had hurt her far more than the prince ever had. That factor wouldn't disappear in the near future. What should she wait and hope for? That her father suddenly decided that her happiness would be more important?

And that didn't even matter when Lucille couldn't be sure whether Cedar was really interested in her. Interested enough to consider marrying her. After all, she would never just become a married man's mistress. She wouldn't be able to share the person she loved with someone. Thinking about that made her a bit dejected, and she looked down at her hands.

Blanche even seemed to pick up that slight movement and spoke quickly. “Don't be sad. You have more than enough time to take it slow. It will definitely work out. I am sure of that. To me, the things that threatened to keep Theo and me apart were high like mountains. And then suddenly, all of those threats came tumbling down and cleared a path for us. Don't think that everything will be horrible just because you are walking toward something new. You will enjoy a wonderful future. There are many powerful people at your side right now. And you can believe me if I tell you that Cedar is stubborn. He won't give up easily. You can trust him to finish the rest if you give him a little push.”

Lucille gave the other woman a nervous smile to cover up her uncertainty. She had no idea whether she should even think about the problems of a relationship that didn't exist at all. She hadn't told Cedar all of what she was feeling, and he probably hadn't developed feelings for her. So, it would be better to just stay still. Maybe she would become more sure of what to do if she waited a bit.

Right now, she had no idea what to think about all of this. She wasn't even sure whether she was just this excited because it was the first time that someone got so close to her. It was possible that her feelings would disappear in a few weeks. She might just be an adolescent who discovered love after all.

Thankfully, it seemed like Blanche noticed that the other woman was lost in thought. She clapped her hands and hurried to change the topic. “Well. We took enough of a break. We need to work on our handkerchiefs if we want to get something done today. Let's continue.”

Lucille was relieved to hear that. She happily began embroidering again and focused on making the most beautiful item she had ever created. She wanted to make a masterpiece, and that actually worked out quite well. Lucille practiced most patterns on a separate piece of cloth first before carefully sewing a silver thread into a light blue handkerchief, which reminded her of Cedar's hair. In the end, it came out wonderfully. She couldn't help but stare at it in awe.

She could definitely give this to a prince. It might not be the most beautiful piece he had ever seen, but it should be fine for him to carry this around. But still, she lacked the courage to give it to him. That was why she forced herself to move as quickly as possible before her reluctance could overpower her.

Lucille said goodbye to the other women as soon as she had reconfirmed that none of her patterns were off five times. She hurried out of the room and went to the third floor. She needed to give her present to Cedar now, or she would end up worrying about it too much.

But already a few minutes had been enough to make Lucille ponder what could go wrong. So, she stood in front of his door and barely dared to knock. She took three deep breaths before bringing her hand in front of the door. She moved to knock but didn't do it and pulled back her hand a second later.

What if Cedar didn't like it? Or what if he just took it to refrain from harming her feelings? Then this handkerchief would end up lying in his room, where it would collect dust. Maybe it would have been better to keep it for herself.

But then Lucille looked down and saw her work again. She had put so much effort into it. If she didn't hand it over, that would have been for naught. She knew Cedar. He was nice, so he would probably say that he liked it and accept it. Lucille forced herself to raise her hand before she carefully knocked. She had been so gentle that she feared that Cedar hadn't heard her at all, but she had just been impatient.

It took a few seconds before the door opened just a slit. Cedar glanced outside. “I apologize. Right now, is a bit...” He stopped when he recognized her and immediately slipped out of his room. He pulled the door shut behind him and gave her a bright smile. “Good afternoon. How are you? I hope I did not make you wait for too long.”

Lucille quickly shook her head as she held the handkerchief behind her back. “Good afternoon. It's alright. You only took a few seconds. Is something going on right now?” He had intended to say that he was busy at the moment, so she didn't want to pry.

Cedar continued to smile at her as he responded. “No. Nothing special. I just didn't react quickly enough. Is there something you need me for?”

Lucille hesitated at that. He didn't look like he was in a good mood. By now, she recognized it when his smile was more forced, which meant that he was annoyed with something right now. He seemed to glance to the side every few seconds without really wanting to meet her gaze. Maybe he was in a hurry. And still, he was standing here to listen to her. How considerate he was. Lucille would return the favor now. “There is. But that would take longer. So...maybe we should do it when you are feeling a bit better. It won't run away after all. And it's really nothing urgent.”

Cedar was quiet for a little moment. It seemed like he wanted to offer to do it now, but then he caught himself. “That's a good idea. Thank you for being so considerate. I will listen as soon as this here is done. It will probably take a few days, and then I'm completely finished with that matter. I will invite you to another picnic as an apology. Is that really alright?”

Lucille quickly nodded. “That is perfectly fine. As I said, it's nothing important. So, please take your time. If you ever need something, my room is directly across from yours.”

Cedar's smile softened a little. “Thank you. I might take you up on your offer in a while. I will make it up to you. I wish you a wonderful evening.” He sounded a bit tired even if he tried to hide it.

Lucille smiled back at him. “I wish you a wonderful evening too. Sleep well and rest. Don't stay up for too long.” With that, she bid him goodnight and returned to her own room after Cedar disappeared in his.

She couldn't help but be a bit disappointed. Of course, she had been unlucky as soon as she wanted to give him a gift. Now she would have to think about everything a hundred more times before she finally came to a conviction. Then she would have to gather her courage again. Great.

Lucille already got nervous when she thought about that, but she knew that she would be able to do it. After all, she wanted to see Cedar smile at her gift. So, she would be motivated enough to actually hand it over too. Her desire to make him happy might be the one thing that was bigger than her worry about being rejected.