The Broken Prince's Love

Lucille had fallen into a deep slumber as soon as her head hit the pillow. When she woke up, she was finally feeling energized again, and she was lucky that this was the case. Today, she would move into a new room after all.

She had slept in the doctor's office for the past three weeks, and now she would finally be put in a guest room. Lucille had to admit that she felt much more comfortable having her own chambers. For one, she liked being able to see her wardrobe with the items that her father had brought her. But more than that, she enjoyed being able to close the door without needing to let anyone in.

Since Lucille had spent a few nights in the palace during festivities already, she was used to the lavish interior and wasn't too surprised, but she hadn't expected that she would be allowed to stay in one of the biggest guest rooms. She had even explained that a smaller one would be fine, but she was put in the most extravagant chambers she had ever seen anyway. She only realized why this might have been the case when she met Cedar again.

The prince visited in the morning and brought some snacks with him. She had to admit that she was much more relieved about that than she should have been. He hadn't come yesterday, so she had worried about having pushed him away with her strange hug in the middle of the night. Apparently, he didn't hate her because of that though.

Cedar seemed as chipper as always. “In any case, my room is directly across from yours. If there are any problems, you can come knock and ask for help. Or you can simply send a servant too. I will help you to the best of my abilities.” He gave her a bright smile before sipping on his tea.

Lucille smiled back at him and tried to hide how relieved she was. She hadn't ruined their relationship by trying to console him. “Thank you very much. I doubt that there will be any problems, but I will immediately inform you if something is wrong.” She was happy with him living just a few steps away already, but that he offered to take care of her made her even more content. This meant that she would keep seeing him regularly, right? “Until now, everything was wonderful. The servants were all very nice even if some of them stared at me as if I had grown wings.” This had made her more uncomfortable than she wanted to admit, but they probably hadn't had any bad intentions.

Cedar scanned her expression for a moment before replying. “That's good to hear. Most people here are relatively well-behaved, but some are not. It may be necessary to scold them if they are impolite to you. Feel free to do that yourself or to call me. You are a guest of the emperor, so they have to treat you with respect. If they don't, you have the right to be upset. Alright?”

She nodded, but she wasn't sure whether she could really do that. After all, she hadn't even been able to deal with the obedient staff members in the Valerian estate. There was no way that she could raise her voice at servants like her father sometimes did. She just hoped that no one would treat her disrespectfully. “I understand. I am sure that nothing will happen, but I don't mind asking you for help.” She trusted Cedar more with defending her than she trusted herself.

The prince drank even more tea before he responded. “Then I'm relieved. I cannot help you with everything, but I have my ways to support you. I apologize for not visiting you yesterday, by the way. I did not want to bother you after such an exhausting event. How was the tea party?”

Lucille froze before she could force herself to stay calm. Yesterday, she had pondered one thing for the whole day, but she hadn't thought about it today yet. Now she didn't know whether she should admit the truth or stay quiet. After all, she had messed up badly. It would be problematic if Cedar found out that she had revealed everything. But one look into his light brown eyes was enough, and she couldn't keep it to herself. She lowered her gaze and began in a weak voice. “I'm sorry. His Grace, the Duke of Vasquez, approached me. He...asked me to affirm his suspicion. Then he said that he believed that your mother was the one that attacked my home. I was...overwhelmed, and I...” She barely dared to look up again. But she was met with a calm expression, which made her worry ebb away.

Cedar smiled at her as he responded. “It's fine. Luciano is trustworthy in this regard. He despises my mother as much as Theodore does. There won't be any issues with him knowing. It might be good instead. He will be able to help us if we need assistance later. He might plot to bring my mother down as well, so we can use him to protect ourselves. Unless he tries to kill me too. But I have no way of knowing that yet.” He paused to drink some tea again before he changed the topic. “In any case, you don't have to worry about that. Do you have something you want to do today? You moved already, so you don't have any unfinished tasks, right?”

Lucille breathed out in relief upon realizing that it was fine and quickly replied. “I'm all done. There is nothing I need to take care of now. I am free to do whatever I want for the whole day. Her Majesty might make me her lady-in-waiting officially, but she said that I don't have to accompany her too often. So, it would be nice if I found something else to busy myself with.” She was quiet for a moment and scanned Cedar while tightening her hold on her cup. “Could we...perhaps...go out for another walk? I didn't see the whole estate yet, so...” She felt embarrassed to invite him like this. If he declined, she would be much more disappointed than she should have been.

But Cedar didn't seem to mind. He set down his cup with a clink before speaking up. “Alright then. I need to make sure that you don't overdo it, but walking around should be fine. What do you want to see?”

Responding here wasn't easy. Lucille had so much she wanted to see, but she knew little about the palace garden. Aside from the area guests visited, of course. Yet, there was one building she was sure had to exist because she had heard people talking about how gorgeous it was. She wanted to see that with her own eyes. “The winter garden, maybe. I heard about it a few times, but I never visited it.”

Cedar nodded at that. “The winter garden it is then. I've only been there twice or so, but I liked it a lot. We can go there as soon as you want to. We should have had our tea there, but it may be a little late for that.”

Lucille didn't mind waiting a little. “Then I want to go after we are done.” She drank another sip of her tea while her thoughts wandered off.

She was rather excited to see the winter garden for once too. She had heard so much about it. Even her father had praised the architecture and claimed that it was one of the most beautiful buildings he had ever seen. She wasn't quite sure how she should imagine a house made from glass only, but she wanted to see it under any circumstance. So, she happily gulped down her tea and looked forward to finally leaving.

When they were done, Lucille put on a coat and followed Cedar outside. He led her downstairs while ignoring the servants' stares as calmly as always. They walked to the foyer and entered the ballroom, which faced the side of the garden they wished to visit. The huge hall felt even bigger than usual when no guests were present.

Lucille turned around a few times to take in the gigantic ballroom before joining Cedar again. They slowly walked toward the balcony, and she spoke up at that point. “Can I ask a few things about you?”

Cedar chuckled and turned to her. “I assume these are personal questions again. Otherwise, you wouldn't ask whether you could speak up. Go ahead. But as always, I can't promise to answer all your questions. I will do my best though.”

Lucille nodded slightly and watched him from the side as she waited for him to say something else. She had expected him to set limitations to keep her from asking specific things, but he didn't do that. So, she began after a moment. “I know that this may be rather personal, so please tell me if I accidentally offended you. It's just that I can barely imagine being in confinement. How were you treated during the past six years? Was the mansion you were in big? Were the servants nice? How was living in confinement in general?”

Cedar let out an amused huff as he smiled at her. “Someone here is quite curious.” He paused momentarily when they passed some servants, who were eavesdropping rather openly, before continuing. “Well, I was in confinement twice. Once for six years and once for three months. Both were rather similar, so I don't have to specify here. The only difference is that we were in the south palace first. As the name implies, it was a rather luxurious palace. You could say that it was similar to what a duke would live in and even a little bit bigger. You know Lady Lamont's mansion, right? The palace was twice as big as her family's home. During the second confinement, Mother and I were in a house that is rather...modest in comparison. I would still say that it's pretty big and luxurious enough, but my mother almost lost her mind.” Even now, Cedar sounded annoyed when he talked about that. “To be honest, living in confinement wasn't that much of an issue. You are in a big house, are being attended by servants, have guards to protect you and so on. Everything is similar to being in the palace. You still don't have to do anything yourself, and it's rather relaxed as long as there aren't any people who want to begin a fight on purpose. I have to admit that the worst part was probably my mother. She can be unbearable when she has her hysteric fits.” That didn't sound good at all.

Lucille turned to him to scan his expression. She wasn't certain whether he would tell her more. But asking couldn't hurt, right? “Would you be willing to elaborate on that? On her hysteric fits. I mean.”

Cedar just beamed at that. “Oh, don't worry. It's even worse than it sounds.” That wasn't calming at all, but he continued before she could say anything. “You saw here during Her Majesty's birthday and on the day my brother announced that he would marry. At least I assume that you saw her since she was yelling rather loudly during both balls.”

Lucille nodded while averting her eyes. Of course, she could remember that the dowager empress had caused scenes during those events. It had been so embarrassing to her, even though she hadn't been involved. She had only stood there and watched while pitying Cedar, who had desperately tried to keep his mother from maneuvering herself into an even worse position. “I remember.”

The prince continued as soon as she replied. “If you know how she offended the emperor and the future empress, then you can imagine how she treats servants who can't defend themselves. I wish that those people had just hit her back once so that she would understand that she can't do what she wants. But everyone is scared of her, so Mother just threw tantrums whenever I wasn't there to calm her. When she has a fit, she raises her voice, and then she begins to throw objects. Either at the wall or at others. If she is really upset, she even grabs people's hair and pushes them around. I heard that she threw someone down the stairs too.”

That sounded even worse than what Lucille had imagined it to be. Cedar was truly strong for being able to live like this. Lucille was quiet for a little moment before she asked again. “And you are the one calming her then? How are you doing that?”

Cedar shrugged. “I'm not always successful. I'm trying my best, but she isn't always listening to me. Normally, telling her that she is the dowager empress, who is admired by everyone all across the nation, and that she has to stay strong for Father calms her down enough. Then I just keep saying what she wants to hear, and in the end, she sometimes settles down. Then she keeps telling me that Theodore is evil and things like that and-” He cut himself off when he made eye contact with a person in front of them.

Lucille didn't even realize what was going on before it already happened.

A servant, who was carrying a few bedsheets, ran into Cedar before rushing off as if nothing had happened.

The prince, who had stumbled back and needed to catch his footing again, just sighed and dusted himself off before giving her a bright smile. “That was unexpected. It seems like the servants in this palace are not only impolite, they are also blind. Well. At least he didn't run into you. That could have been problematic with your injuries. Let's move on.” With that, he just walked toward the staircase that led down to the tiled area next to the fountain.

Lucille stood there with an open mouth and glanced over her shoulder to watch the servant leave. Then she turned to Cedar before looking at the other man again. She wasn't even able to put her indignation into words, but she tried it anyway. “How disrespectful! He didn't even apologize.” How could someone run into the prince of Artias without even trying to apologize? Doing that with any other person would be bad enough, but this was ridiculous. Did those people truly think that Cedar had no power left because of his strained relationship with his brother?

But Cedar didn't even seem angry. His smile hadn't widened, and he genuinely seemed like he didn't care. “Don't get so upset. Nothing happened. I will get back at him if he tries to do it again, but I doubt it. I considered stealing his keys, but that would only have caused trouble later. Let's ignore that and move on with our walk.” If he thought about it happening again, he had probably already experienced similar scenes. And it sounded like this had been on purpose. How were the servants here treating him?

Lucille felt wrath boiling in her stomach. The fact that he wasn't upset only made her more angry. “But how can he do something like that? You haven't done anything to him! And isn't he supposed to support the inhabitants of the royal palace? He can't just act like this. He has to apologize if it was a mistake on his part.”

Cedar gave her a little smile while already focusing his gaze on the path in front of them again. “Don't worry. I'm not mad, so you don't have to be angry for me. I will deal with this, so there won't be too many incidents in the future. That will take time though. For now, just accept that they have their reasons. Even I have to admit that I understand why they feel this way.”

Lucille shook her head and narrowed her eyes. “That's stupid, Cedar. No matter how they feel, they can't do something like this. You could have gotten hurt if you stumbled. If you run into someone, you apologize. That's common sense. You can't tell me that what they do is right.” She balled her hands into fists and looked up at Cedar.

The prince paused for a moment and glanced to the sides. They were all alone on the balcony, and the closest servants were at the bottom of the stairs near the terrace. They had enough space to talk properly, and he seemed to know that.

Cedar met her gaze again and smiled at her with something darker twinkling in his eyes. That revealed that he would probably say something he expected her to dislike. “It seems like you have forgotten one little thing.”

A soft breeze made her hair flow to the side, almost as if it wanted to underline this scene. But Lucille didn't care and just maintained eye contact while waiting for his explanation.

Cedar seemed a bit more intimidating, just because he had changed expression a little and smirked so arrogantly now. Still, she didn't feel scared in the slightest, even when he leaned forward to speak in a low voice. “Lucille, I'm the bad one here. I'm the villain. It is normal for them to be unhappy. If I was in their position, I'd question Theodore's sanity for taking me in too. Don't you remember? I tried to kill my brother, even though he had never done anything to harm me. I'm working with my mother, who is at fault for the deaths of dozens of people. I broke into the palace with mercenaries to forcefully take over the crown from Theodore mere months ago. And you have to admit that everyone here fears me.”

Lucille refused to budge as she looked into his eyes. It was obvious what Cedar was trying to do here. He seemed to make himself the bad one again. But it wouldn't work, much like it hadn't when he had woken up in her home. “You are trying the same thing again. I wasn't scared when you first told me this, and now I'm not scared either.”

Cedar brought his face a little closer to hers. “The fact that you aren't scared of me only proves that you are too careless as well. You shouldn't get so close to me at all. Because I'm not even nearly as kind as you believe me to be.”

Lucille balled her hands into fists as she met his gaze. Why did he want to make himself look bad so desperately? She didn't understand. “That's not true, and you know that. I haven't known you for long, and even I can determine that. You already showed me so much kindness in the past few weeks.”

The prince smiled at her, but it was obvious that he was the same as always. He hated it when people defended him. He wouldn't accept being called kind. If it was anyone else, he might have gotten much angrier already. Still, he was upset even when she told him that. “That's not proof of anything. What if all of that was fake? You can't know what's going on inside my head. I might be in the middle of plotting this nation's downfall.”

Maybe Lucille should just leave this topic alone to avoid upsetting him, but she wasn't ready to keep her mouth shut. She shook her head. “You aren't. You wouldn't care about Artias so much if you tried that. I know how you talk about our citizens. And even if all of that was a lie, you still would have saved my life. And you still...” She froze. Did she truly intend to say something so embarrassing? It would be the truth, but she wasn't sure whether she wanted to be so direct. She averted her eyes and looked down while continuing her response in a barely audible voice. “You would have become a precious person to me anyway.”

For a moment, it was silent, and she thought that she might have messed up.

Then Cedar spoke up after letting out a low snort. “Phrasing it like that will make people misunderstand. You should be a bit more aware of your surroundings.”

Lucille slowly lifted her head and narrowed her eyes at him. “You're changing the topic. I don't care about what anyone else here says, and you don't either. I don't want you to lie to me. And I don't want you to blame yourself. Because you never were at fault.”

Cedar tilted his head to the side, still with that arrogant sneer on his face. “How do you know that? You never were present while I listened to my mother's every whim. You didn't witness the revolt either. You've only seen what I am showing you. What makes you think that you can guess what's going on inside my head? I may be planning to hurt you at this very moment, and you wouldn't know.” Now he was just being ridiculous.

Lucille couldn't help herself and raised her voice a little when she replied. “You saved my life! You did not need to do that. You could have left me to bleed out on the street, and yet, you presented yourself to your biggest enemy just to help me. You wouldn't hurt me.”

Cedar interrupted her sooner than she had expected. “You're right. I wouldn't. I already care too much.”

She was dumbfounded by that and just stared at him for a moment. Had Cedar admitted to truly caring about her? She had suspected as much when he had saved her life, but now she was sure. Immediately, embarrassment overcame her. She lowered her gaze and tried to calm herself. But she was already getting emotional even though nothing bad had happened. She knew that speaking would probably tip her over the edge, but she wanted to respond. “I care about you too.” Her voice was way too silent when she said that. “That's why I don't want you to put yourself down. You're not bad or a villain. You're just you. A normal person who is trying to do what's right. So...please don't say that others deserve to push you.” She forced herself to meet his gaze again and froze upon making eye contact.

Cedar smiled at her, but it seemed like it was a sad one. “You are really kind to say things like that. I don't think that this is a good idea though. But it may be too late for that already.”

Lucille didn't know whether she understood what he was talking about. Did he mean that her saying these things wasn't good, or did he mean their relationship in general? In any case, she disagreed. “No. I think this is good.” She felt a lump form in her throat and quickly spoke up before it was too late. “I won't stop telling you what I think, and I don't want to stop seeing you either.”

Cedar let out a small huff before he responded. “That's why I said that it's too late. I don't think changing anything now will help. After all, I already told you that I care, right? For me, those words aren't empty. I think I never told someone this before while being serious.”

Lucille's heart skipped a beat. She was definitely misunderstanding this. She interpreted it one way while he was just referring to the general meaning. But she would be fine with both choices. She didn't even know whether he was telling the truth or lying to her, but it was too late. She couldn't help it. Tears were pricking in her eyes, and she weakly rubbed them away.

That made the prince back away again. “If I had known that this would be the reaction, I wouldn't have said it outside.” Cedar reached into his jacket. “Wait. I think I have a handkerchief.”

Lucille was busy wiping her tears and glanced at him despite her blurry sight. She only wanted one thing now, even if she knew that it was childish. “Cedar? Can I hug you?”