The Admiral and the Assistant

Dass walked boldly into the dark interior beyond the steel door. With pinched lips, Captain Stonefist followed.

The found themselves in a large, mostly empty room. It looked as though it had been a small storage facility, a miniature warehouse in the city. The walls and concrete floor were bare, lit only by a few hanging bulbs.

Two men stood just inside the door. They pointed their blaster rifles at Dass and Grimthorn.

"Ah, friends!" Dass cried. He spread his hands, making a gesture halfway between outreach and surrender. "There's no need for violence! I'm here to meet with the boss. I brought him a gift!"

"This is going well already," muttered Grimthorn.

"What gift have you brought me, Dass Gunstar?" A dark figure stepped out of the layered shadows in the back of the inconsistently-lighted room.

"Jao! How wonderful! I've been very excited to finally meet you!"

Jao did not look excited in return. His face was haggard and scarred.

"What have you brought, and who is this?" he asked in a hoarse, scratchy voice.

Dass gestured grandly at Grimthorn.

"This is my gift! I've been promising you a Navy insider, and here he is! Lieutenant Happy!"

Grimthorn glowered with dark malice at all assembled.

"You brought a Navy man into my operation?" Jao rasped. He gestured to his gun-wielding flunkies. "Search him. If you find anything, shoot him."

The two men slung their rifles and began roughly patting Grimthorn down with professional thoroughness.

"Check me any closer and I'll expect a report on my prostate health," Grimthorn growled.

"Shut up, Lieutenant Happy," Dass said with bright brittleness.

"He's clean, boss," said one of the flunkies.

Jao leaned close, examining Grimthorn minutely.

"So. A mole." He took in a deep, unhealthy-sounding breath through his nose. "Why does a Navy man want to treat with us?"

Grimthorn sneered.

"I joined the Navy to make good money. I've been passed over for promotion three times now. I will make my money from the Navy one way or another." He looked over at Dass. "Speaking of, when do I get paid?"

Dass smiled with something like horror.

"Ah, hey, I know we didn't discuss the details of pay, I figured that after the next mission--"

"Typical fixer," Jao said, looking at Dass. "Run your life on credit and hope the next scam covers it." He shook his head.

"Haha, yeah," Dass said, "so anyway, speaking of pay, I was wondering if you guys would be willing to front me just a little advance, you know show of good faith for the new guy--"

"I don't pay ahead of the mission," Jao said.

"Ah... right." Dass deflated a little. "So, uh, what's the plan, then?"

Jao turned back to Grimthorn and smiled unpleasantly.

"Well, we've finally got a Navy man here, and a destroyer in orbit. Fate smiles on us." He looked Grimthorn up and down. "Can you get us on board?"

Grimthorn paused, thinking.

"How many is 'us?'" Grimthorn asked.

"As many men as will fit in a shuttle."

"Two dozen men, then. Yeah, I can do that. It'll take a day or two to get things set up."

Jao chuckled, his rusty voice echoing through the empty room.

"I like your can-do attitude. The Navy are foolish not to promote you."

"I feel the same way," Grimthorn said.

---

Grimthorn walked quickly down the street, tapping on his scanner. Dass was shuffling fast, trying to keep up with him.

"Hey. Hey!" Dass called. "What was all that?"

"Mmm. What was what?"

"You just promised a terrorist cell unfettered access to Navy destroyer! What are you going to tell them when you can't get them on board?"

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Grimthorn stopped and looked up.

"What makes you think I can't get them on board?"

Dass' horrified grin resurfaced.

"You're really going to let these guys on your precious ship?"

"It will get them all in one place," Grimthorn said, putting his eyes back on his scanner. "We can get some MPs to round them up once they're on board."

"Okay, but these guys are not, like, shoplifters. They're going to be armed to the teeth and ready to kill."

"Yeah, I'm sending orders to the Starforge right now. Everybody gets a couple days shore leave except for the MPs. We'll clear out the ship ahead of this infiltration."

"Okay, so in the pantheon of terrible plans, this has got to be like, in the top three."

"It's not a plan," Grimthorn said. "It's just an idea."

Dass stopped and huffed in annoyance.

"How dare you listen to what I was saying!"

Grimthorn looked up again.

"Look, you can't give me zero prep and planning, then complain when I don't do exactly what you wanted," he said. He looked back at his scanner.

"I absolutely can. Watch: 'What in Geina are you thinking?' See? It's literally so easy."

"Well, you can go back and explain to the terrorists that we won't let them on board because it would upset your sense of propriety. My mandate was to help you with your mission, and your mission is to eliminate these terrorists."

"Well you sure changed your tune on the mission," Dass said.

"I'm fine with stopping terrorists. Terrorists are just pirates that don't make any money. And if there's one thing I know, it's how to deal with pirates."

"That's quite a take."

Grimthorn shrugged, tapping away at his scanner.

"I swore a life oath to kill every pirate in the galaxy. Terrorists are close enough."

Dass grimaced.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side," he said.

"Too late."

---

The shuttle rose through the atmosphere. Grimthorn sat at the controls, carefully navigating them higher. Dass stood to one side, nervously tapping his fingers together and smiling insincerely at the crowd in the back of the shuttle.

A motley crew of terrorists filled the seats in the shuttle. They were dressed in ratty fatigues, and armed with a mix of outdated and castoff weapons, mostly blaster rifles.

One silver lining, Dass supposed, was that they'd never be confused for real Navy personnel. It was the only silver lining he'd managed to come up with so far.

"Are all the guns really necessary?" Dass asked. "If you're discovered, do you really think you can take on a whole destroyer by yourselves?"

"We'll take as many of these Imperial scum with us as we can," Jao growled. He raised his rifle, almost brushing the ceiling. "Death to the Imperium!"

"Right, right, but there's a longer-term benefit in living to fight another day, right?"

"You don't understand our struggle," Jao said. "To die fighting the Imperium is the greatest glory."

"Yeah, I'll be honest, I don't get it," Dass said. "I'm just in it for the money."

"Your life is thin, weak, and meaningless, if all you seek is money." Jao replied. "You will never amount to anything."

"I'm with Jao on this one," Grimthorn piped up from the pilot's seat. "You'll never amount to anything."

"Shut up, Lieutenant Happy," Dass said.

"Until I get paid, I'm a free agent," Grimthorn said. "So if you want me to shut up, I'll need to see some cash."

Jao roared with laughter.

"Both of you deserve each other. Fortunately, tools that work for money are as good as fools that work for glory."

"We're getting close," Grimthorn said. "I'm going to have to get on the radio, so everybody stay quiet."

Everyone stayed silent as Grimthorn radioed Docking Control.

"This is shuttle L02-83N, requesting clearance," he said. "Got some folks coming back from shore leave."

"L02-83N, you are clear to land. Please dock in bay 3."

"Acknowledged, Control."

The docking bay doors opened in the side of the destroyer. The shuttle slowly floated in, carefully settling into the designated bay. The shuttle hissed and cooled as it started going through its shutdown sequence.

"So what are you guys going to be looking for on the ship?" Grimthorn asked. "Weapons?"

"Among other things," Jao said with a wicked grin.

"Hey, you guys aren't going to get me in trouble, are you?" Grimthorn asked as he finished shutting down the shuttle. "I didn't sign up for a hijacking or anything."

"Oh, nothing like that," Jao said, smiling. The complement of terrorists leveled their guns at Grimthorn and Dass. "But now that we're on board, you _do_ get a new job. As hostage."

---

Grimthorn and Dass sat in the corner of a storage room on board the Starforge. Their hands were tied behind them. The terrorists had found some old power conduit the in the storage room to tie them up with. Two gunmen stood in the room with them, looking bored.

"I blame you for this," Dass said.

"That's fair," Grimthorn said. "I shouldn't have expected you to be able to keep up with events."

"Excuse me?"

"I was 'rolling with it.' You were the one who couldn't keep up and do... whatever it is you were going to do."

"_You're_ the one who invited them on board!" Dass hissed. "What did you think, they were going to line up like kids on a school field trip and follow you around?"

"I mean, if I could have led them to the brig..."

"Oh, I understand. I get it now," Dass said. "I see, this really _is_ my fault."

"How so?" Grimthorn asked.

"I should have realized earlier. You're a complete idiot. That's on me for not recognizing it."

Grimthorn scoffed at him and turned to one of the gunmen.

"Hey, terrorist," he said. "I need to go to the restroom."

"Not my problem," said the terrorist.

"See, that's just rude." Grimthorn struggled to his feet, his hands behind his back. "I demand a restroom break."

"Sit yourself back down," the terrorist said, lifting his rifle to Grimthorn's face. "You're just a spare. We've got another hostage if we need one."

"Do you?"

The terrorist glanced over to where Dass had been sitting. The spot was empty.

"Wait, where's--"

He looked back at Grimthorn just in time to see a massive fist streaming toward his face like a space freighter. The impact flattened his nose and launched him bodily into the far wall.

The other terrorist jerked his gun up, but a clawed hand reached up from behind him and yanked him off his feet. The sound of a heavy thud echoed through the storage room.

The two gunmen lay silent on the floor.

"How did you know I'd gotten out of my bonds?" Dass asked.

Grimthorn shrugged.

"I assumed that if _I_ could get out of those weak knots, a NavInt operative would have no problem."

"Funny thing," Dass said, "I've never even learned to untie a simple knot."

"So how did you--"

"You make some big, fat assumptions about people, don't you?"

"It's a lot faster that way," Grimthorn said.

"What if you're wrong?"

Grimthorn shrugged.

"I don't know. I'll tell you as soon as that happens."

Dass looked at the unconscious gunmen with his hands on his hips and an exasperated expression on his face.

"Well, what now?" Dass asked.

"I don't know, you're the secret agent. You tell me."

"Well let's tie these guys up. Properly. Then I guess we go find out what the rest of these terrorists have been getting up to on your ship."