Synth

TO and Avery made their way up to the platform that TO, DH, and GiDi often hid on. It was more comfortable to sit up there than it was to linger on the edge of the Training Room. They sat and ate while Avery told TO what happened.

“When the simulation started we got an alert before we actually loaded into the simulation. It was just some text that said we were entering an examination and would be observed.” they shrugged as they took a bite of their food, “I was… Well, I was worried, but I wasn’t overly anxious. I do well in my training. I don’t necessarily excel, but I do what I have to do. I just wanted to do well enough to pass.”

That honestly surprised TO since they felt like they were constantly worried about the examinations.It was true that they were doing quite well, but they wanted to excel, and often they were more worried for DH and GiDi.

“Anyway. Once that happened we were dropped in and it was just entirely different. We went in with our armor on instead of having it appear on us later. Instead of seeing the orders in the air before us we had someone speaking into our ear; my Overseer, I think. They said that this wasn’t a normal simulation. In fact, they said it wasn’t a simulation at all.”

“Wait… what? But you never left the room!” TO said.

“I know. Apparently we were linked up to some high tech bots out in the field. I don’t really know. They said that they were short on soldiers there and that it was a simple enough test to see how we act when we’re dealing with real situations.” They looked down, their wings tightening around them, “It made sense to me. Simulations can only have a certain level of randomness and challenge to them. I mean, it’s a game basically and there’s only so much an AI can do. I mean-” they gave a forced little chuckle, “-they’re only AI. Being in the real world lets them see how we would act in situations that aren’t set like our training simulations.”

“That does make sense.”

“I know!” Avery said, “So I went into it and I just wanted to do good. We got our orders, and they were so simple; there was an insurgent stronghold– an underground bunker basically. We were sent in as a strike force to quickly infiltrate and neutralize…” They stopped, their voice shaking, “No.. no not neutralize. To kill all insurgents inside.” They looked up at TO, “You know how enemies in our simulations just dissolve when we neutralize them?”

“Of course.” TO said, “AI, and even other synths do that. Once you’re hit, you just dissolve.”

“I knew that wasn’t how it really worked, obviously. I never really thought about it though” Avery said, “I got the first kill. The first insurgent was all alone, probably doing a patrol. They didn’t even have a helmet on. I could see them; their face, their ears, their eyes. They looked…” They frowned, “They looked rather feline, but they were bipedal. I was surprised when I saw them because in the simulations the insurgents always have helmets on. They had poor quality laser guns and their armor was… Well, it was scrappy, and clearly missing pieces. They saw me, and they didn’t even get a chance to lift up their gun beforeI shot. I got them right in the head. They just stood there for a minute. Just stood there. Like they were confused.” they stopped and put their hands up to their face, breathing heavily for a moment. “It was like they didn’t know what had just happened, and then they just crumpled. And then they were just there on the ground. Laying there. They had red blood. Their arm bent under them oddly, and I remembered thinking that it must hurt… but of course it didn’t because they were dead.”

Avery fell silent, just staring into space for a long time before they spoke again, “It’s stupid.” they said.

“No…” TO said, “No, it’s not-“

“Obviously I know that people don’t just dissolve when you shoot them.” Avery said, “I knew that. I just…” They stopped and shook their head, “Me and that other synth - the one you saw taken out afterwards- we both just stopped then. The others gave us a moment, but then said we had to go on; we had a job to do.” They gave a bitter laugh, “King Decon had a job for us, and we had to perform it for Him.”

“And then what happened?”

Avery shrugged, “We went on. We kept doing what we were told to do. We infiltrated the bunker and started to ‘neutralize’ all the insurgents we found. Most of them didn’t have armor or weapons. If they did, it was worse than the first one we saw; It was as though they had upcycled old garbage to make something that looked like armor. We went through anyway. I just tried not to think too hard about it. When I started to, I just remembered that this was King Decon’s will.” they looked at TO, “That… that means it's the right thing, right? I mean, if King Decon says that something needs to be done then that’s the right thing to do, isn’t it?”

“We… We are designed to do as King Decon wants of us.” TO said after a long silence.

“Well.” Avery said, “That’s what I kept thinking. We went through the bunker like fire, killing anything that crossed our path. We got to the bottom level where there was a reinforced door. I kept thinking that there was going to be something big behind it; maybe a weapon or something.” They looked back at TO, “There’s this one scenario that I think a few synths did in training where you have to work your way through an old warehouse and get to a weapons stash. Did you do that?”

“I did.” TO said as their ears flicked down. That had been their first scenario; the one where they showed themself to be deceitful.

“Well… I thought maybe it was like that.”

“... What was on the inside?” TO asked softly, their ears flicked down with worry and dread.

“People.” Avery said, “Civilians- no, Insurgents. Old ones. Young ones. Injured ones. The ones who couldn’t move very well or fight at all. Parents with their young.” they looked away, “Me and… I don’t even know their real call number – they were S12 in the simulation. Anyway, S12 and I said that this had to be a mistake. The people there weren’t insurgents, they were harmless. We got our squad leader to call for guidance as to what should be done.”

“And?”

“You already know the answer, don’t you.” Avery said in a small, quiet voice.

TO nodded, “I think I do.”

Avery nodded, “We were told that they were still insurgents and that our job was to eliminate the insurgents.” Their hands gripped at the fabric of their uniform, their claws poking out and ripping the fabric.

TO didn’t know what to do. If it were DH, they’d just draw them into an embrace and hold them. They felt like they should do that for Avery, but they didn’t know if Avery would want that. Instead they just put a hand on Avery’s shoulder once more; If Avery wanted to be held then TO was certain that they’d lean into TO like they had that day in their pod.

Avery took a few long, deep breaths before they spoke again. “I’m fine.” They lied

“You’re not.”

“No… I’m not.” Avery agreed. They took another breath, then took their water bottle and drank about half of it before they continued again. “S12 and I… we didn’t want to do it. I didn’t say anything, but I was just… I was standing there, looking at all the people. The other synths drew their weapons, and they took a couple of shots into the crowd. There were screams, and then the shooting stopped. I looked back, and saw that S12 had turned on the others. They just ran into the synth closest to them and just… They just rammed into them, knocked them down and knocked the breath out of them. I just stood there wondering how they could have the breath knocked out of them if we’re in robot bodies somewhere out in the galaxy. Why would that be programmed into the system?” They gave a humourless laugh, “Of all things, I just stood there wondering about that, asking myself how we could get the breath knocked out of us in this situation.”

It was a good question, and one that flickered through TO’s mind quickly before they set that aside. “And I guess because they attacked another synth-”

“Yes… One of the other ones, the squad leader, managed to get S12 under control. They grabbed them and pinned them to the ground.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t shoot.” TO said.

“S12 or the leader?” Avery asked, “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. You don’t shoot other synths. S12 kept them pinned down, then they looked up at me. The other synth was unconscious or had unsynced from their bot or something and the squad leader was holding S12 down and couldn’t let go because they were struggling so much. I was ordered to finish the job.”

TO only just stopped themself from asking what Avery did. Of course Avery followed their orders; if they hadn’t then they would have been taken away to be corrected just like S12 had been.

“You had to.” TO said after a long silence. “You had to. You had orders. If you didn’t do it then you’d have been corrected.”

“I know.” Avery said, “I’d have been corrected. The mission would have been a failure if I turned on the squad leader, and I would have been corrected. King Decon’s will would have been subverted by a synth who’s still in training.” They finally glanced up at TO, their eyes blue-rimmed and filled with tears. “And King Decon’s will… It is right and just, isn't it?” There was a pleading tone to their voice, “King Decon holds the galaxy together. If something awful is done in His name, it has to be for a good reason, right?” They shook their head, not even waiting for a response, “Of course it is. That’s what we’re here for. And… and I know I’m being stupid here-“

“You’re not.”

“I am!” They insisted as they put their hands to their face, “I am. I am because I know I’m supposed to do what I’m ordered. I’m just a synth, a trainee; this is what I’m here for, to execute King Decon's will. And even outside of that I don’t even know if it was all really real.”

TO frowned, but they had wondered the same thing once Avery had mentioned that the other synth had the air knocked from them. Why program that into a bot?

“You’re thinking that too, aren’t you?” Avery asked in a low whisper. “We’re set up to feel pain in simulations, but this wasn’t supposed to be a simulation; this was us being projected across the galaxy and synced up to bots in the field. Why would a combat-oriented bot in the middle of a warzone have the ability to have the wind knocked from them?”

That was a very good question and TO didn’t have an answer for it. If they were right, if it had been just a simulation after all, then Avery didn’t kill anyone but that meant that their Overseer lied to them directly. Why would an Overseer lie? Synths weren’t supposed to be deceitful to one another; TO had learned that the hard way.

“How long did the scenario take?” TO finally asked.

“I don’t know.” Avery said, “An hour or so? It didn’t take long. Why?”

TO shook their head, “It’s just… well if it had taken longer, say it had taken twelve hours, then we’d have known it was a simulation. Though, I suppose it likely could have been done with the time dilation tech.”

Avery just nodded, “I thought all that” They said, “But… but I suppose it doesn’t matter. When we leave here, when we’re out in our placements and maybe even active combat after that, do you think we won’t have to do things like that? Do you think we shouldn’t be prepared to do things like that?” They looked off again, staring but not seeing, “I … Well, S12 and I made our choices, didn’t we? S12 choose to go against their orders, attack another synth, and get corrected.” They looked at TO, “I choose to follow orders and I’m still here.”

“For what it’s worth-“ TO said, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“...I keep wondering if it was right.” Avery said, “But it was King Decon’s orders so it had to be.”

TO stayed silent. They knew what the answer was, but they also wondered if they could have done the same thing. They were insurgents, going against King Decon and as such they were among the lowest scum in the galaxy. However, they had been unable to fight back. They had all either been very old, or injured, or children with parents.

They remembered C12 urging them that they just follow orders and do what they’re told when they’re tested. How much did C12 know about how they were going to be tested?

TO didn’t say anything to Avery, but they decided they’d have to speak to C12 again. At the very least, maybe they could figure out if the examination was real, or a simulation. They didn’t know how much that would help the distraught Avery, but at the very least having the truth would give them one less thing to agonize over.