Superstar's Development Diary

He Jinxia smiled softly and took the microphone, replying, "No, I have never had that thought, people who are overweight also have their strengths and advantages.

I do not define beauty and ugliness by weight, nor do I define status by profession."

"The reason I don't consider myself a good celebrity is that over these four years since my debut, I haven't led everyone with positive energy or dedicated myself to my career. I have been getting by half-heartedly, and I feel that I have let down my fans."

She paused in her speech and turned towards the camera, saying, "I'm sorry, I've disappointed you."

Ji Jiawen clenched her fists tightly in a corner where the camera could not capture her, bowing her head slightly to hide the fleeting coldness in her eyes.

After composing herself, she raised her head and asked curiously, "I see, I thought from your previous remarks that you absolutely detested overweight people.

But since you don't judge beauty by weight, why are you so determined to lose weight?"

He Jinxia countered, "Why do you always assume that my decision to lose weight is solely for the sake of beauty?"

Ji Jiawen was taken aback.

He Jinxia stared at her fixedly, her clear eyes seemingly filled with an untouchable sharpness.

Ji Jiawen's heart tightened, feeling as if her inner thoughts were completely exposed under that gaze.

No, that's impossible!

He Jinxia is just a washed-up celebrity, after all!

Looking again more carefully, He Jinxia had already withdrawn her gaze.

She looked utterly ordinary; even the most beautiful plus-size floral dress could not conceal her overweight figure.

Ji Jiawen steadied herself, her heart regaining calm.

He Jinxia was just an average overweight person. Her family background had been revealed four years ago when she participated in the talent show—it was nothing but a typical single-parent household.

I must have been seeing things just now!

He Jinxia's voice came faintly to her ears, "There are many reasons to want to lose weight.

I do not want to get out of breath after just walking a few steps or be drenched in sweat after just one lap around the track, and I certainly do not want to end up with high blood pressure or insulin resistance leading to diabetes and various complications like coronary heart disease in old age."

Ji Jiawen's face stiffened as she spoke, "Jinxia, aren't you exaggerating a bit too much?"

He Jinxia smiled wryly, asking with interest, "Do we need to look up the probabilities of obesity causing these diseases right here on the spot?"

Ji Jiawen felt a surge of irritation but had to maintain a smiling face. The angrier she got, the brighter her smile had to be:

"There's no need for that. I just think you are making too much of a minor issue. It's scary what you're saying.

They are just possibilities, not certainties that these diseases will occur."

He Jinxia nodded in agreement with her words, "Yes, they are just possibilities, but if I can avoid these risks while I'm young, why shouldn't I?"

Ji Jiawen found herself at a loss for words.

He Jinxia had no intention of letting it go just like that. It was normal for Ji Jiawen to question her, and when the show aired, there would be even more questions. So she intended to clarify everything on the show all at once.

"I know what you're thinking; it's natural for you to misunderstand that I am losing weight for the sake of beauty.

I often talk about wanting to lose weight on my Weibo, saying that I don't look good because I'm overweight, hence my desire to slim down. What I'm about to say might seem insincere to you, but these are my viewpoints."

"In my heart, I believe people shouldn't judge beauty based on weight. There was a dynasty in ancient Hua Country that considered being fat as beautiful. The definition of beauty is different in every era; people's aesthetic standards are constantly changing."

"I don't think it's bad to be a bit fat either. I really enjoy eating meat heartily and drinking freely, but being in the entertainment circle, I have to make some compromises for more diversified development."

"Because I'm fat, I don't look good on camera.

Because I'm fat, I became a drag on my previous team.

Every time we were introduced on stage, I would stand at the very end, behind a row of long-legged fairies. When it came to me, the style changed abruptly."

"I was mocked for having a figure unfit to be a girl group member, criticized for being unprofessional, knowing that I was a girl group member yet getting fatter, and even told to roll out of the entertainment circle fast..."

He Jinxia took a deep breath and said, "All this abuse began because of my fatness; therefore I loathe it deeply and want to lose weight."

"But due to work issues, I've been taking diet pills, and probably because of taking too many, I damaged my health. Instead of getting thinner, I kept getting fatter."

She turned to look at the camera.

"I owe an apology to my fans who like me for letting you down. Every time I said I would go on a diet, I didn't follow through.

Also, I deceived you. I don't think being fat is that ugly, and my desire to lose weight wasn't because I feel ugly, but because I can't stand the abuse from outside."

"I don't want to be a great person, steadfast in my own ideas, trying to change the world's standard of beauty.

I am willing to compromise, to get more opportunities, to broaden my career, and to improve my health; therefore—"

He Jinxia paused and then said forcefully again, "If I can't slim down by the end of the year, I'll quit the entertainment circle!"

Seemingly reminded of something, she smiled at the camera, "You don't have to worry; even if I leave the entertainment circle, I can still find a stable job. Life should be fine, and also—"

She stopped speaking, her dark eyes suddenly softening, conveying a deep warmth through the screen.

He Jinxia's lips parted, ready to speak, when Ji Jiawen, who had been silent across from her, sharply interrupted, "If you fail to lose weight, will you really quit the entertainment circle?"

Her expression unchanged, she looked up at Ji Jiawen, and with a light and airy tone, she uttered four words—

"A promise is a promise."

***

After the recording ended, He Jinxia was pulled by Luo You and rushed out of the TV building, quickly getting into the car.

After driving for a while and making sure no one was following them, Luo You finally spoke up, "It's a good thing you're not that famous. The media reporters waiting for Zhang You didn't pay attention to you, otherwise they might have gotten the contents out of the show."

The declaration He Jinxia made on the show was explosive; if it had been leaked ahead of time, reporters would not have missed the chance to cover it first-hand.

He Jinxia looked out the window at the scenery, majestic high rises flying past her gaze, leaving trailing afterimages. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, speaking softly—

"Even if the reporters don't ask, it's impossible to prevent other celebrities from leaking it."

Luo You was a smart person, quick on the uptake, and said, "Don't worry about that. You've given the show such a hot topic, the crew wants the exclusive more than anyone. Once the explosive news leaks ahead of time, it loses its value."

"Zhang You is very clever; he definitely won't mention you before the show airs.

Nan Ming is an experienced celebrity; he knows what to do. As for Ji Jiawen—"

Luo You scoffed lightly, "She doesn't have the clout to challenge the show producers, unless she's willing to have all of her footage from this episode cut."