Summus Proelium

I really wasn't the best at doing homework, to be honest. There was a reason I was really just an average student. Sure, I'd skipped a grade back in the day, but it wasn't because I was such a devoted bookworm that I just kept my nose to the grindstone and learned everything I could. I'd skipped the first grade to go into the second. There wasn't a whole lot of correlation between that and being good at the sort of research it took to figure out which LEAT contestant Casura might secretly be targeting. Especially given how profoundly rude they were about not including things like 'would make an excellent candidate for the most powerful and evil Fell in the world to go after but for some reason she'd have to be weirdly circumspect about it' in the athlete bios. Really, what were those things even for if they didn't have that sort of detail?

Basically, I sat there for hours in that little office going over every single word on that list I'd talked the LEAT administrator lady into giving me, trying to find something, anything at all that actually stood out. The real problem was that I had no idea what might actually draw Casura's attention like that. She was already so powerful, already practically unstoppable without adding in an army of Touched controlled by rings or whatever. Really, there was a pretty solid chunk of contestants here who would already do anything she told them to just because of the alternative.

So why go through all this trouble? What could possibly not only draw her interest enough to come here and go through all this, but do it so secretly? The person she was really going after had to be someone she couldn't just intimidate into following her orders, so maybe it was a very powerful Touched, or one with a solid ethical foundation who didn't have an obvious weak point?

And yes, I considered the whole 'she's just doing it for laughs because it'd be funny to make the star (and often Star) athletes go around doing all the horrible stuff she could puppet them into' idea. I was sure that was a big part of it, of course. And yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was definitely targeting someone specific here. Maybe someone she couldn't control any other way, who would cause her problems if they knew she was around. Or maybe someone connected to her past? I didn't know for sure. But I was still certain, deep in my gut, that she had a secret real reason for doing all this. A reason even more secret than 'just' trying to puppet random people.

In the end, I managed to eliminate a fair number of possibilities. At least eliminate as best as I could. They were names that seemed easily controlled either physically, or because they had known family and friends; people who, if I really thought about it, probably wouldn't be difficult for someone like my mom or dad, let alone Casura, to pressure into doing anything they were told.

I also cut out anyone who looked like they probably wouldn't win a ring. It felt bad to do that, but I really needed to narrow this list as much as possible. So I crossed out anyone who was coming into the games as a real longshot. I might have to go back to them later if I couldn't find what I was looking for in what was left, but for now that eliminated about twenty more names.

But that still left a lot of possibilities on the list, and I couldn't even be certain that I hadn't eliminated someone I shouldn't have. I was just winging this whole thing. It wasn't what I was good at. And the more I stared at that damn list, the more that fact just kept being driven home.

I missed Paige. Fuck, I wished our positions were reversed. Why couldn't I be the one who was captured? If she was out here, Paige would have taken one look at this list, run it through like a dozen extra search queries, hacked into all these government databases, and found the real answer in about five minutes. She should have been the one out here. I should be the one in danger. But no, she was in there. She was in that evil bitch's clutches, and now she and the other three were relying on me to be able to actually figure this out and save not only their lives, but the lives of every single person Casura would absolutely and gleefully murder the hell out of if she carried out whatever she was actually trying to do. I was the only one who could do this.

But yeah, no pressure or anything. All I had to do was look at this list, find the person she was actually specifically targeting, and then figure out what to do about that. Yeah, finding the name didn't really solve the whole problem. It didn't even solve a third of it. That was just a starting point. And the truth was, it all might be for nothing anyway. I was just relying on my gut telling me she was going after someone specific. I might be completely wrong. This could be a total waste of time. Which, again, Paige could have figured out a hell of a lot faster, god damn it.

If nothing else, it was a good thing my parents had left to go do whatever they were focused on (and that was something I didn't even have a spare neuron to try to worry about), because I was so deep in reading names and matching them to information I could Google that I probably would have completely missed checking in. Which was just what I needed right now, to make my parents suspicious. Wouldn't that just be the cherry on top of the sundae that was today?

I still had more of the list to narrow down. I hadn't actually settled on any single possibility yet. But I couldn't sit around anymore. The next set of matches was going to start in about forty minutes, and if I didn't eat something else beyond what I'd choked down during those eleven minutes with Dani and Izzy, I wouldn't make it through the first round. I wasn't sure how much Casura would count me passing out in the middle of the arena on the scale of giving away that something was wrong, but it probably wouldn't be great. Not to mention the parts where it would drastically hurt my chances of getting out on that field for the award ceremony when this all went down, and would absolutely make it difficult to keep working on a way to stop that evil bitch to begin with.

Yeah, as freaked out as I was, as desperate as I was to have an answer and a solution right now, I had to admit that making myself sick or starving wasn't going to help anyone. I shoved down the rapidly mounting feelings of guilt and left the arena. I briefly thought about just eating in the VIP box, but I wanted to keep looking at this list, and there was no way I was going to do that there. Yes, my parents and brother were gone, but it was still entirely too risky. I had more than enough problems right now without throwing in something like the Ministry seeing me studying that list on the cameras. I couldn't even imagine what sort of thoughts they might have about that.

Actually, maybe they'd think I was just a fan, or that I was researching them to make a bet or something? Yeah, that was possible. But I wasn't gonna take the risk. If any of the details about this whole situation came out and they realized Cassidy me had been actively researching all the competitors in a way that Paintball me probably would have been doing… yeah, not doing it.

I chose a small, out of the way sandwich shop instead, going there in my civilian clothes to avoid as much attention as possible. There, I sat in a booth near the back and worked my way through a giant roast beef and turkey sub while continuing to go through that list over and over until it felt like my eyes were going to fall out of my head. Seriously, this was pointless. What did I really think I was going to be able to figure out just by looking at athlete names and googling them? I wasn't a strategic genius, or any other kind of genius. I was good at skating. I was good at drawing (thanks to my power). I was really good at doing incredibly stupid and dangerous things just because I thought they were fun. One thing I really wasn't good at was this sort of thinking.

No, I had to push that sort of doubt and worry out of my head. It wasn't helpful. It definitely wouldn't contribute to getting the others back or stopping Casura. Yes, it would be easier for someone like Paige or even Sierra to do this with their advantages, or at least someone who was better at the academic stuff. But they weren't here. Those two were relying on me to do this. So it didn't matter how hard it was, or how scared I was that I was too dumb to figure it out. Those four needed me, and I sure as fuck wasn't about to just throw in the towel and give up on them. I could do this. I could figure this out. There was something in this list that would give me some answers. There had to be. I couldn't just be wasting my time, no matter what that quiet mental voice kept whispering every time I stared at an athlete bio and got nothing out of it.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

At one point, I got a text from Nqobile, having given her my number, to let me know that she had gotten in touch with that Tech guy. Apparently he would be available later tonight after the games were over for the day. We would get him in the place then, disguised as a janitor. He didn't know the details about what was going on, of course. And he absolutely did not know anything at all about Casura being involved. But she promised he was good at what he did, and he absolutely knew to keep his mouth shut about everything he saw. Which was fine, I could hope that worked out, but I wouldn't be relying on it as Plan A. Getting the Tech to create a cure for the rings was Plan… M or maybe even Q. If it got that far, it meant things had gone very bad.

By the time I was done eating, I still hadn't come up with any real answers. That voice in the back of my head that had been telling me I was wasting my time with this avenue kept getting louder by the second. It was practically shouting at me, insisting I should put the god damn list away and try something else. And really, I couldn't possibly have explained why I didn't. Maybe I was just stubborn. Maybe I didn't want to admit that I'd wasted all that time on a dumb idea that hadn't worked out at all. Maybe I was just afraid that I wouldn't be able to think of anything else. Or maybe it was just the fact that something kept tickling the back of my head when I scanned through all those names. There was something in the list that made me keep looking at it, even if I hadn't actively figured out what it was. If only I could get that vague tickle to turn into a full realization.

Whatever the reasoning when you got right down to it, the point was that I still wasn't ready to give up on this avenue. The voice telling me it was a waste of time was loud, but nowhere near as loud as the voice telling me to keep looking, because there was something to it. I just had to find the right name and look at the right piece of information at the right time, in the right way. I had to believe that I hadn't just thrown away hours for nothing, while Paige and the others were at the mercy of that fucking--

Shoving myself to my feet so forcibly and dramatically that I actually drew attention from some other customers and the staff, I mumbled an apology before starting to leave. As much as I wanted to stay focused right now, I only had about ten minutes before I was supposed to be at the arena for the next briefing. And hey, who knew, maybe throwing myself into another wild athletic trial would help clear my head so that indistinct tickle in my mind would turn into a shout.

First, however, I took a quick detour to use the restroom. It was one of those single occupancy places, so I set my bag down and did my business (I was physically female at the moment) before stepping over to the sink to wash up. Only as I was splashing water on my face and glancing at the bag in question did I realize my actual mistake. I'd walked away from the table without that stack of papers. I'd meant to pick it up and put it in my bag, but then I realized I had to use the restroom and that distracted me, as if I wasn't already distracted enough to, damn it! Those thirty pages were all just sitting there for someone to pick up. Which, sure, yeah, it wasn't about to give away all my secrets or really anything other than the fact that I had a bunch of information about LEAT competitors, but still! What the hell was wrong with me!? Get it together!

When I grabbed my bag and quickly left the restroom, there was a woman standing by my table. It was just one of the other customers. I'd seen her come in and order a few minutes earlier. She had her hand on the stack of papers, which were spread out much more haphazardly than I had left them.

Seeing that, I quickly spoke up. "Hey, thanks, I'll take those." It took everything in me not to freak out at her. As stressed as I was in the moment, it would've been incredibly easy to end up taking it all out on that lady just for being curious. I had to remind myself that not everything was some evil conspiracy, and that just because some lady stepped over to look at the papers I had left behind didn't mean she was somehow working for Casura, or was a spy sent by my parents.

The woman jumped when she heard my voice, looking my way. "Oh, there you are. I thought you left. And then I thought I saw one of the… never mind, here." She clearly felt guilty about being caught snooping, a dark blush crossing her face as she shoved all the papers together again and handed them to me. For a second it looked like she was going to ask something, but stopped.

Now I had even less time to get to the arena. But I didn't want to seem rude by snatching and running, so I just thanked her awkwardly before heading out as quickly as I could without looking like there was a bomb I was trying to escape. Even then, I probably still looked pretty weird. As if this entire situation didn't look weird enough, now I was practically sprinting out of that shop while shoving all those papers down in my bag. A suave secret agent I definitely wasn't.

And speaking of not being very good at that sort of thing, I was all the way to the park and halfway changed into my costume behind some trees before the obvious question occurred to me. What had that woman seen? Or thought she saw, or whatever. When she was apologizing for standing by my papers, she had started to say that she thought she saw something. She'd said she thought she saw 'one of the…' But one of the what? What did she think she saw? Was it something on the papers themselves that she had noticed somehow? Did the papers do something? Did she start to walk past and happen to see a name she recognized? Did someone else go by my table and do something that this woman noticed? What was it? What had she been about to say before she just cut herself off like that? What 'one of' thing did she see?

Goddamn it, why didn't I catch that back there? Why didn't I ask her to explain? Why did I just run out like my tail was on fire? Could I go back and find that woman? Would she still be there? Was that worth being late to the next event, if it gave me something I really needed to know?

Closing my eyes, I played back that memory. No, the woman had had her sandwiches in a plastic sack. She was taking them to go. She wouldn't be there anymore, and the odds of being able to find where she went were… yeah, really bad. The woman was definitely gone by now, along with any chance of getting answers from her. I completely missed the window on that.

My fist hit near a nearby tree, and for a moment, I just stood there and trembled. I was so angry at myself I could barely breathe right then. I was screwing this up. I was going to get them killed. Paige, Sierra, Irelyn, and Echo were going to die because I was too stupid, too clumsy, too bad to figure this out on my own. I couldn't handle this. I couldn't do it. I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't good enough. I needed someone else. I needed someone. I just… I had to find a… a…

And that was how I found myself sitting alone in that clump of trees with my head down, my face pressed against my knees as my shoulders shook. I couldn't stop crying. It was so stupid, so pointless. I was wasting time indulging in this pathetic moment of self-pity while the others were the ones in real danger. Why did this one little mistake set me off this much? I had my hands wrapped around the back of my neck, pressing my face down more firmly while the tears just kept coming. It didn't matter how much I kept silently screaming at myself to get a grip and control myself, I couldn't do it. I just sat there, lost in my tears for what felt like several hours.

It was three minutes. I cried for three minutes, alone in that stand of trees. Which meant I was only a minute late after yanking the rest of my costume on. I sprinted through the tunnel and into the contestant part of the arena. There was already a guy there in a staff shirt who pointed me the right way and gave me a quick word of encouragement. But then he said something else that confused me. He said not to worry about Detroit so much and that everything would be okay. Why would I be worried about Detroit? Was this just something about that fight club gang, or maybe one of the other million problems the city had been going through? Was he telling me not to worry in general, or--

That time, at least, I noticed quickly enough to start to ask what he meant. But the man was already gone, swept along with a few other employees to handle some big crisis or another. Which left me sort of stumbling the way he'd pointed, head shaking in confusion as I made my way to the next ready room while fumbling in my pocket for my phone. This was dumb. He was just giving me some general encouragement, right? He was telling me not to worry about leaving Detroit behind for so long, because he knew I did a lot back home so the place had to be important to me. He knew Detroit had gone through hell, so it made sense for me to be worried about what else might happen while I was gone. That was it, that was all he was talking about. There wasn't some huge problem happening back home while I was stuck here.

On the other hand, my parents… my brother… hold on, wait… did they-- were they actually…

Closing my eyes, I took a breath after stepping into the ready room. Before even paying attention to the other competitors, I took my phone from my pocket and brought up the news page for Detroit with a single tap of my finger. Then I took a look at the first thing that came up. I looked at what exactly had been going on in Detroit today while I was so distracted.

Well, of all the ways I could have made a first impression for my current competition, screaming, "Fuck!" at the top of my lungs was probably an interesting choice.