Summus Proelium

I left Nqobile shortly after that. Not that I wanted to let her out of my sight, but it wasn't like I could stick by her side constantly. My parents might start to wonder where I was, and she had her own work to do. After all, she'd only come back to her hotel room in between matches, so she really had to get back there. The staff would notice if she wasn't around, and neither of us really needed to add people investigating why she had disappeared onto the list of complications we were already dealing with. Especially, at least in my case, since it might just lead them right to Casura if the vicious, evil woman decided she needed to make sure they didn't spoil her fun.

Besides, it wasn't like Nqobile could go anywhere. She was too afraid of what Casura would do if she tried to run and the woman tracked her down. No, she would stay and hope that she could win by playing both sides. If by some miracle I managed to stop Casura, Nqobile could say that she helped make it happen and thus shouldn't have the book thrown at her. And if Casura won, Nqobile could claim that she was only helping me because I told her that Casura said she should in order to make the 'game' a challenge, or whatever. The point was, staying right in the middle and doing anything either of us told her to was probably the woman's best chance at maybe coming out of it relatively intact.

She promised she would get in contact with that Tech-Touched guy who was supposed to be able to do something with the ring. I wasn't even sure it would actually help, but if all else failed it would be really nice if we had a way to disable Casura's ability to control anyone wearing those damn things. As much as I wanted to stop this situation from getting that far in the first place, I couldn't count on that. I needed to try everything possible to make sure she couldn't pull this off.

But first I had to make an appearance with my family so they wouldn't start getting suspicious about me constantly being out of their sight. Which meant pretending everything was just hunky dory instead of doing all the cursing and throwing things that I wanted to do. Paige. Paige and the others were in trouble, they were being held by that evil bitch and I was supposed to just act like everything was fine? I was supposed to pretend I was having fun here? It was a good thing I had a fair bit of experience at acting normal by this point, because this was going to take all of it.

Or maybe not. When I got back to the stadium to meet up with Izzy and Dani so we could all go up to the VIP box and make an appearance for however long it would take to prove I wasn't just dead or whatever, they informed me that my parents had announced that they had something to take care of for awhile and wouldn't be back to spend time with us for the rest of the afternoon. They even took Simon with them, promising to meet us for a late dinner that night, and that we should stay right here at the arena to enjoy the rest of the matches today. There were also a lot of apologies for just taking off like this, apparently, but they insisted they didn't have a choice.

Obviously, my heart leapt into my throat the second Dani and Izzy finished filling me in. Yeah, I was pretty sure my poker face completely fell apart, judging from the looks the other two gave each other. Why would Mom and Dad have to leave all of a sudden? Did it have anything to do with the Casura thing? Did they know? What else could it be besides that? Even if they didn't know everything, it had to be because they knew something was going on, right? Why else would they take off and leave us here with some vague instructions to keep watching the games and that they would meet us for dinner? We were in a completely different state, around total strangers. Leaving us alone like this, to the point of even taking Simon with them, had to mean it was something huge, something big enough to make them leave us in this new place on our own. Didn't that almost have to be about Casura? What else could possibly be a big enough problem?

It only took a second or two for all of that to play out in my head, but it was pretty obvious that I hadn't kept my face blank through that. Izzy opened her mouth like she was going to try to ask me what was going on, but stopped herself with a visible wince. Over the next few seconds, I saw the frustration and fear play out in her face. There was obviously a lot she wanted to say, a lot of questions she wanted to ask. Which was fair, because there was a lot I wanted to say and a lot of answers I wanted to give. In the end, all she said was, "Is there anything we can do?"

"Anything," Dani quickly put in quietly but firmly, her eyes darting around as though trying to spot anyone who might've been watching us. It was like she thought the reason I was being so cagey was because someone was physically spying on me. Clearly seeing no one, she made a noise of frustration before adding, "Come on, whatever's happening, we can jump in. Anything you need."

Damn it, Izzy and Dani just wanted to help. And who could blame them? I wanted their help. I wanted-- well I wanted a lot of things. Mainly I wanted Paige, Sierra, Irelyn, and Echo to be safe. But to do that, I had to play along with Casura's fucking rules. Obviously, these two realizing there was something wrong wasn't enough to violate that, or it would've happened already and the woman would've made sure I knew about it. But there was no way I could actually say anything about it. I couldn't give the two anything to work with, I couldn't tell them Paige and the others were in trouble, I couldn't tell them anything at all. I couldn't take that risk, not with what was at stake. Not with that bitch.

"When you can help, I'll let you know," I promised. It was basically the same thing I'd said earlier, but somehow it was even more painful to say it now. And something told me it wasn't going to be any easier when I inevitably had to say it yet again later. Especially if it turned out that whatever Mom and Dad were dealing with now really did have something to do with Casura.

Pushing all that out of my head and down into the corner of my soul where I was still screaming at the top of my lungs about everything that was going on, I forced myself to add, "Right now, I still just need you guys to trust me and leave it alone. I'm sorry, I know it's asking a lot. Probably too much. I'm not gonna lie to you. But I can't tell you anything either. I'm doing everything I can."

"It's not asking too much," Izzy assured me, her voice cracking just a little. "We just-- I want to--" She stopped herself, clearly realizing there was nothing she could say that would help then. Her eyes shifted over to Dani for a moment before she sighed. "Okay, so what can we do right now?"

The urge to say 'nothing' came to mind, but I stopped myself. Instead, I gestured. "I need to eat something. Then I have--" I had to stop myself from saying what I was going to do after that. It would be far too easy for Casura's rules to interpret that sort of detail as telling them too much. Yet again, I felt a rush of fear that she was somehow eavesdropping on everything I said, or even watching. But if she was, my entire secret identity was already blown anyway. It wasn't as though I could've avoided seeing my family entirely over the next few days. Besides, I might be wrong, but I didn't think she was actually spying on me like that. I was pretty sure it was just a matter of her getting a ping in her head or whatever if I broke the rules she had laid out for me.

So, we ate some food back in the VIP booth, while a couple other matches were going on. Not that I actually watched them, which was another reason for me to hate Casura, for ruining this whole event. It was a quiet, awkward few minutes, considering the only thing any of us wanted to talk about was the thing I absolutely couldn't. A couple of times, we tried to bring up something else, like the games themselves, or even some sort of concert Dani wanted to take both of us to in a few days, but it inevitably tapered off into totally awkward silence. This sucked.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I knew that if I didn't get the hell out of there and at least try to do something useful, I was going to end up saying something very stupid, even if it was by accident. So, I told the other two I had to go and that I'd see them later. I was gonna be in another match in a few hours, and I'd check in before then. But for now, I just… I had to get out of there. Not just because it was awkward to sit here while they knew something was wrong, but also because the only thing I could think about was what Paige and the other three were going through right then. The… dark, awful possibilities kept bouncing through my head, and it was all I could do not to throw up all that completely tasteless food I'd just forced myself to swallow.

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After leaving the other two behind, I checked my phone on the way out, convinced that I'd just spent at least an hour sitting around there. It turned out to have been about eleven minutes. Even then, part of me was screaming that something bad might've happened in those minutes. Minutes I could've spent working to save the others. What the hell was I doing, sitting around wasting all that time? They were in trouble, they were with Casura for fuck's sake, how could I just sit there for eleven minutes awkwardly chatting with Izzy and and eating fucking food? What was wrong with me? Didn't I give a shit about them? Did I even really care about saving them at all?

It didn't matter how much I told myself I needed fuel to keep going, or that eleven minutes wasn't going to change anything. It didn't matter how much actual logic I tried to shove into my mental argument. The only thing that mattered was that Paige and the others were in trouble and I still hadn't saved them, I still hadn't done anything to really help. I had Nqobile promising to talk to that Tech-Touched guy, but even if that worked, it would only matter if we got as far as the rings being handed out. I wanted to deal with this sooner. Sure, preventing Casura from controlling all those Touched was a fair worst case scenario plan, but there had to be a way to stop this now.

I was walking through the stadium, past all the souvenir and food stands, without actually having any real idea about where I was going. I felt anxious, scared, angry, and so many other things right then. I really was about to throw up, the nausea rising with every step I took, only matched by the pounding stress headache that kept trying to beat its way out of my brain. I had to do more, I had to do something else, but what? How could I actually stop Casura? Not just get some Tech to throw a last second hail mary to break the rings or whatever, but stop her plan.

Wait. I stopped short in the midst of walking and very nearly got run over by some dad carting around three loud kids who apparently wanted to see everything at once. Only a last step stumble and twist on his part stopped the guy from accidentally plowing right over me. While he caught himself, I mumbled a quick apology before doing a quick about-face to go back the way I'd been coming from. Yeah, he probably thought I was pretty stupid and rude, but honestly that was somewhere down around number eight thousand and two on my list of problems right now.

On the plus side (okay it was a small plus but I needed all of those I could get), I kind of had an idea. Or at least something vaguely approaching an idea, which was more than I'd had a moment ago. I was still running it through my head while making my way through the arena walkway, which suddenly seemed a lot more crowded now that I actually had somewhere to go.

I actually made it as far as one of the doors leading to the staff only areas, practically reaching for the knob before stopping myself. Fuck, I wasn't in costume. They might frown at some kid just walking through the private parts of the arena like I owned it, even if I was pretty sure my parents literally did at least have a pretty decent investment into place. Telling them that probably wouldn't help my case. Or help anything else at all, really. No, I needed to go change first.

So, I did that, forcing myself to act as casual as possible. Of all the things that wouldn't help my situation right now, screaming for everyone in this suddenly incredibly crowded walkway to get the hell out of my way so I could go change into my superhero costume in order to help save my friends before the evil supervillain bitch decided to kill them just because some random neuron in her brain told her it would be funny was probably high on the list. Breathe, I had to breathe and keep some measure of control. Just walk, Cassidy, just walk out of here, change into your costume, and come back. Nothing bad will happen in that time. You have days before this is over and Casura won't just kill one of them for no reason, as long as she believes you're cooperating.

Yeah, shockingly enough, I wasn't really able to calm myself down very much that way. But I did make it out of the arena, changed in the park, and came back through that tunnel entrance. I knew it would probably send up some questions since I wasn't even supposed to participate in any more matches for hours yet, but there was no way in hell I was going to wait that long.

Obviously, I didn't go to any of the ready rooms or anything like that. I just kept walking through the employee corridor. A few of the staff people greeted me, asking if I was about to go out for another match already. I told them I'd be back that evening, but right now I was just taking care of something else. Which got me a couple confused looks, but no one tried to stop me or pushed further. Honestly, they were all probably fairly accustomed to Touched being secretive.

But something told me they weren't accustomed to why I was being secretive. At least I really hoped not. If this was the sort of situation they dealt with all the time, I'd seriously feel sorry for them.

In any case, I kept going, following some signs on the wall until I found my way to a personnel office. I wasn't sure that was the right place for what I was trying to do, but it was as good a choice as any. In the small room there, an elderly lady was typing on an ancient-looking computer. Seriously, the thing looked like it had been built in the eighties or something. She didn't even look up when I came through the door, simply holding one finger for me to wait while she continued expertly typing on that old yellowed keyboard (it was attached to the computer itself) for another few seconds before finally coming to the end of the paragraph or whatever.

Only then did she finally look up and start to address me in a crisp voice that immediately faltered when she actually saw who I was. "Now, what can I-- err. I'm sorry, may I help you with something?" She started out very much in control, someone who was accustomed to giving orders. But as soon as she processed who she was looking at, she suddenly became much more flustered. "That is, I mean, if you're really-- if this is a prank or--"

I cut her off as politely as I could under the circumstances, shaking my head. "It's not a prank, miss. And yeah, you can help me. At least, I hope you can. See, I'm uh--" Yeah, I'd spent these past few minutes thinking up my excuse for this. I just hoped it would actually work. "I'm trying to find out more about my competition, I mean, about everyone that's competing. Nothing illegal or against the rules or anything, but just every detail I can find about everyone who's going to be here."

There was a brief pause as the woman stared at me and processed that before she offered a hesitant, uncertain, "Um, you could just find all that out online, can't you? It wouldn't be hard. They've got lists and biographies all over the place. You don't have to come all the way down here for that."

Yeah, this was the complicated part about explaining all this. I made a smiley face appear on my visor, hoping it would help make this all seem totally normal and casual. "Oh yeah, sure, I could probably do that. But sometimes those lists are wrong. They're not completely up to date, or they've got fan opinions all over them, you know? I was just looking for something definitive, something the staff around here used to keep track of everyone who has actually shown up. Not just the people who agreed to come or being invited or anything. I mean everyone who is actually here, and everything officially known about them. Like I said, just the stuff that people are allowed to know."

I wasn't sure if she actually bought it the way I was presenting it, but after a moment of consideration, the woman apparently decided it wouldn't actually hurt anything or give me too much of an unfair advantage. Or maybe she just didn't care that much. Whatever the reason, she brought up what I was asking for and printed it out. The whole thing was almost thirty full pages, which took fucking forever to come off that obnoxiously loud ancient printer.

While we were waiting, I did my best to chat carefully with her, trying to sound a normal level of nervous but confident, like winning these games was actually the only thing I had to worry about. I even made a few sketches for her and autographed them, then took a picture with her.

Finally the printer was done and I thanked her while leaving the office with my prize. Thirty pages worth of names and any other public details known about the Touched who were actually here for these games.

The thing was, I didn't believe that I was really the only reason Casura was doing this. Sure, I was apparently part of it. I was interesting for her. But she could've done anything to test me. She chose to go through all this with the rings and potentially controlling all these Touched. Most would probably say that was a worthy goal for her on its own. But when I thought about it, it seemed like there had to be more to it than that. I couldn't even put my finger on why exactly, but it just felt like she might just be targeting someone specific here. Or someones. My gut was telling me there was more to this whole thing and that the whole business of kidnapping Paige and the others, of playing games with me like this, was a side note separate from what she really wanted here. And maybe if I could figure out her motive I might also find a way to stop her.

Okay, maybe I was just grasping at straws. But what else did I really have right now? I felt like I could maybe figure something out just by going over this entire list. And at the very least, it would occupy my brain. I just really hoped it wasn't a total waste of time.

Finding some unused office with a table and folding chair, I sat down, took out my phone, and started going over every page of that list, comparing it to the stuff I was able to find online. I was looking for anything that stood out, anything wrong, anything... well, anything at all.

Yeah, don't worry, guys, I'm totally trying to save you, I swear.

Just as soon as I heroically get through all this paperwork.