NOVEL NEXT 273: Bum And Get It
I pushed my freshly washed hair outta my eyes and curled up on the sofa with Discord. Doesn't that sound like a cozy evening? Good times were awaiting me on my favorite server.
#SpecialStreaksGeneral
Lurks: I'm anemic. Dying probably
GingerBollox: black pudding is rich in iron
CoolBeans: WTF is black pudding?
GingerBollox: boiled pigs blood with grains. like sausage
CoolBeans: I just threw up a little in my mouth
Ayela: That's not food
HC: we need to talk about what pudding is
Exclamation: did someone mention pudding?
Balmichi: my wife makes the best chocolate pudding
Cherubella: does it have blood in it?
IAmSoImportant: and teeth?
Hiya: animal innards make the world go 'round
SpiritdeCacao: Aren't pudding and sausage the same thing in America?
DickDaddy: fighting words
HC: this is war
SpiritdeCacao: Britain vs US round 117
InnerFire: a nice crispy black pudding is sublime with an English Breakfast
Ayela: why does Britain exist?
HC: to poison the world with bad food
ArlenKnight: Link to image of Beef Wellington. This British recipe of Beef Wellington is the best I've tried.
GingerBollox: British beef is superior
Bartt: what's beef?
Hiya: my beef is the best
DickDaddy: that's not what you said last night
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
ArlenKnight: 🔥
CarlaCee: I have a beef with both Brits
Exclamation: two at once?
CoolBeans: that'll make you beef
GingerBollox: she can only beef so much
InnerFire: you've got to tenderise your beef so it's nice and juicy
ArlenKnight: let's not illustrate that
RabbitGuano: I'm in the Dallas transfer station. Someone just sat down next to me and said, "It smells like beef in here!"
HC: does it?
RabbitGuano: if piss and shit smell like beef
CoolBeans: it's British beef then
DickDaddy: sounds like black pudding
HC: US for the win!
CoolBeans: I make a damn good steak or burger
HC: Are you for dinner?
Cady: oh, cannibalism again. Back to editing I go
SassySword: will the teleportation of food include human steaks?
IAmSoImportant: we've almost cracked it Sassy
B: it's a solid upgrade
SoXOXO: version two will be tested next week
Cherubella: I don't think eating people is a good idea
LordTyrant: in war, you take what you can get
MagicMark: don't tell me you eat humans in Australia
BeadBuddy: Is the food there as bad as it is in England?
Ayela: it's hot as ass there, right?
LordTyrant: don't even need to light the barbecue most days
MerFolk: so you eat your human raw?
DahrkDragon: a little dragon fire could improve things
RaceHorse: nothing like charred ass cheek for dinner
InnerFire: with a nice chai
DysblurbicPedant: and a confetti garnish
PageCount: a quality garnish is essential for every steak
Buttle: you need a splash of glitter with your side of human
RaceHorse: and a nice, long piss
CHASE: Is this what I think it is?
HC: 👀
DickDaddy: a cult of awesome?
CorkyCash: I'm hungry. What's for dinner?
MoodyBoots: apparently human ass cheeks
Hiya: lightly salted
CorkyCash: oh, like in Bum And Get It
Ayela: goes to search for Bum And Get It
ArlenKnight: did everything go off the rails?
Exclamation: there were rails?
Lily: I never noticed rails
Cartoonist J.: occasionally there's something worth looking at
Balmichi: my wife made steaks for dinner
RabbitGuano: with glitter?
CoolBeans: with crispy blood sausage on the side?
Apo Plex: what did I walk into?
IWannaSake: a server without rails
Buttle: what are rails?
Ayela: search results
Link to image of search: are there video games where people eat butt cheeks?
Results: Yes, in the game Bum And Get It, human cultivation is encouraged, and a favorite of gamers is butt cheek steak. The tongue-in-cheek game utilizes dark humor with a touch of horror to entertain bored people.
HC: DROP. THE. MIKE.
Bartt: chat just went dead while everyone went to buy that game
And Bartt was right. Dead chat. Oh for crying out loud. I switched to Zoe's server.
#FlopperGeneral
Zoe: Imma need a link
HC: Link to Bum And Get It
DeBagg: what could be better?
NightLover: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS
HC: and then some, NightLover
GayPirate: I ate a person in my past life to survive in a frozen tundra
HC: I knew that was coming
BlackPesc: Feckin' feck balls of feck. Eating ass?
DeBagg: You downloaded it already, Pesc, don't deny it
BlackPesc: feckin' A!
Ayela: holy hells, all of you too?
Zoe: @Ayela, if you only ever download one game, make it Bum And Get It! You can write a funny poem about it. <img alt="image" height="20" src="https://images.squidge.org/images/2025/11/01/Untitled.png" width="18"/>
Ayela: LMAO. Gold! okay! 🤣
Wait, did that mean Zoe was reading my poems? Oh, hell yes! Get me on the comedy-poem writing screen STAT!
