Stars Dancing [Dreams-To-Lovers Romance]

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What becomes of the star-crossed lovers?

And who wrote the songs?

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2765)

You are the breath. The breath is within you. The breath is without. The breath moves you. You move the breath. You are the breath. Feel the breath move you. Reach, stretch, bend, kick, swivel, turn, slice, roll, lift, stand, breathe. I felt the breath and let it propel me. I moved with the breath as it moved me. My body was limber. I bent. I twisted. I lunged. I moved. I was the breath. I was not.

Our morning flow reached an end. It was my first session back in dojo 6 after the relapse. I felt strong again, and I felt like me. I felt at home in my body. I was at home within myself. I'd changed since the last time I'd been in the dojo. So much had happened in just a week's time, and I had decided what I wanted to do. Instead of turning to bow to Denten, I sat down on the floor.

Denten sat next to me, of course. We were going to have our first true conversation since he'd approached me outside the dining commons months ago. "You're feeling better, Ryst?"

I nodded, "I feel fantastic. And I have some questions for you because I've made a decision."

I felt the interest pouring off of him, and he said eagerly, "Ask any question—"

He broke off as I laughed. "Okay, yeah, I know. I was wondering about my Work Acceptance which is expiring soon. I don't want to leave Shurwinn, and I'm wondering if there's something beyond Work Acceptance. Are off spheres allowed to apply for citizenship?"

He looked positively joyful, beaming, like I'd given him the most valuable gift in the world. "Yes, I'll be your Guarantor."

"Okay, so there's an Application like the others, and I need a Guarantor? And do I need a job or qualifications?"

I felt the happiness coming off him as he explained, "This Application is a little different. I'll fill out what I need to ahead of time. And then right before your Work Acceptance is complete, you''ll be notified about the Citizenship Acceptance."

"You mean, something like you are recommending me for citizenship, and that's all that is required?"

"Not exactly," and he started going through the information in his teacher voice. He would prepare the paperwork, and then there would be an inquiry. There would be objections, and then if all went well, I would become a citizen.

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"Wait a minute," I asked, "So, there will be 'objections.' You say that like it is a matter of fact. As though you expect objections." I could tell the worry showed on my face. I made sure that I wasn't lowering the curtain of my mind, but I could tell he wanted to reassure me.

"Perhaps not in the way that you're thinking. There are always objections, " he said evasively, and I wondered if this topic was part of the Shurwinn Code about not giving away too much information to off spheres. So, I nodded and tried to read between the lines.

"Okay, so there are always objections. As in, there will be people who purposely object, and they are objecting because it is required on the Application?"

His smiled, but didn't say anything. I felt relieved anyway. The Shurwinn kept reciting, "Ask any question, but don't always expect an answer," and they really meant it. I could ask them anything. They might answer, or they might let me figure out the answer with just a little support along the way. It was a really open way to have a society, and an excellent learning tool for outsiders. And for students. Suddenly, just like that, everything snapped into place in my mind.

I looked at him with surprise and delight in my eyes. "Denten, you mean, I'm actually going to become a citizen?"

He just laughed, full and free. I'd never seen him so happy. He was always so serious and Tindin warrior man. Now he was a joyful Grandpa happy his grandchild was telling him a joke. I'd been missing a whole lot in recent months. Bewildered, I laughed too.

Journal

Oh my, what a day. I didn't just find out what was required for citizenship, I found out that I'm going to become a citizen! I am going to be Shurwinn! Now I'm a little scared. Is that what I was intending? Really? To stay forever? It's like I've been a milkweed seed blowing in the wind, and now suddenly, I'm on Shurwinn ground and the water is soaking me in, and I'm getting ready to plant myself here.

So I made the decision to ask about citizenship, and now I'm facing a zillion new decisions. Am I staying at the monastery? As my Guarantor, is Denten somehow responsible for me now? If I screw up, will he be in trouble? Am I going to get a job? Am I supposed to contribute to the Shurwinn economy? What do I do? What do I do? What do I want?

Apparently, asking questions works really well, so maybe I should find out more about what citizenship actually means to the Shurwinn? I wonder how much they are allow to tell me right now? It's time for dinner, so maybe I can talk to someone and see what they will tell me? Is that how I start writing the next chapter of the story of my life?

The dining hall tables were laden with bowls of fruit salad, sliced fruits, uncooked vegetables, big leafy salads, and everything I usually ate, and everyone smiled at me when I walked into the commons. No one stared at me, but they obviously knew something I didn't.

There was so much food on the tables that I filled a tray with everything I wanted and didn't need to go to the kitchen to make a separate meal for myself. I was turning to look around for a place to sit, to see if there was anyone I knew, when Denten arrived with his own tray, smiling gently and nodding at a nearby spot. I sat down with him, and decided to plunge right in. "Denten, what's going on? There's something going on, isn't there?"

His face softened, and he said gently, "Everyone is welcoming you home, Ryst."

"Home?" I asked. And then in a soft voice added, "You mean, everyone knows about the citizenship?"

He nodded and smiled, "Yes. We are family here in the monastery. And you are family too. This is how we treat our family. We celebrate each other."

Family? Family? I wasn't an outsider? I was welcome? They wanted me there? I was wanted? My heart welled up, and there were tears in my eyes. I tried to hold myself back, but I couldn't. I felt the emotion pouring out of me. I was so grateful. Grateful that I was there. Grateful that they had made dinner for me. Grateful that I was wanted.

I could feel the warmth pouring out of me and stretching across the room. And I felt every single mind in the room. I knew every single presence that was there. I let my mind say what my heart felt: Thank you.

Denten stiffened in his seat, and I saw four heads swivel my way. And I didn't care. They heard me speak to their minds, and I didn't care. They wanted me, and they needed to know who I was. I finished my meal as best as I could, and I left. It was my turn to leave without saying goodbye.