Star Wars: Lost and loging

Ahsoka looked surprised at that but Harry seemed utterly unconcerned. "A person should deal with emotions as they come. They shouldn't wait until they're overwhelming them to do something about what's bothering them."

"And when they can't wait? Then what? They embrace the easy path, and fall to the Dark Side. They have abilities and skills that are so tempting, giving into your emotions opens those possibilities up. Trust me. I know. Those abilities and powers and thoughts that are selfish and seem like they would be rewarding … they are so tempting," Aayla said heatedly. Harry nodded, "That they are. But let me ask you both something. If you're a soldier, do you drop everything at the first sign of trouble on a mission and allow your emotions to overwhelm you?"

Both Ahsoka and Aayla shook their heads in the negative, and Harry continued, "Then why would a trained soldier, allow themselves to put their emotions first in a high-pressure situation when lives are at stake? If they do, then it's because someone else screwed the mission up, or you didn't give that soldier all the training they needed to succeed."

"You don't like that Ahsoka was in here ranting. What should she have done then? Bottled it up? Said nothing about how life has dumped a load of bantha shit on her?" Harry challenged her, his voice firm without raising it. "No, she came here, found an ear that would listen, and aired her grievances. I can't do anything about those problems, and she knows that. But it's the fact she talked those emotions through which allows her to overcome them."

"But she-" Aayla began, but Harry cut her off.

"Yes yes, she threw some crap around," he waved his hands around unconcernedly. "Uncontrolled or accidental magic we call it. Our children have these bouts when they experience high emotions. It's normal. That pain and anger she felt has to go somewhere, right? So what if she banged some shit around. If she internalized all that, it just makes her wallow in it, and that is what will slowly poison a person's mind."

He waved unconcernedly over at a few boxes that had been turned over and dented, and they rose up and repaired back to their original shape before sliding onto shelves.

He turned to Ahsoka, "Feel better since you came in here and broke some shit?"

Ahsoka hesitated and then nodded, "I feel like a bit of a weight lifted. It's still there, but it isn't the forefront of everything."

Harry nodded, "And it won't go away until you finish working through it."

He turned to Aayla, who had been distracted slightly by Harry's casual display of magic but who refocused on Harry when his attention was clearly on her. "Sounds like you have some unfinished ranting of your own to do, if one goes by how passionate you are about this argument. I'm certainly not saying rant at me, but you need to find someone to do it with, or you'll face the same problems."

Aayla's face hardened at the words, which obviously touched upon something deep-seated and personal for her, so the subject was dropped. There was a pause before Harry replied quietly, his voice firm but soft. "Someone once told me that it is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

"Now I may have mixed feelings about the old man who told me that. As a matter of fact for the longest time I despised him, and thought he was a Dark Lord himself," Harry said, an unamused smile crossing his face. "He made so many choices around my life that were 'for the Greater Good,' which essentially was code for 'everyone's good but Harry's'." The bitterness in Harry's smile faded a little bit. "Over time I learned that, like so many things in life, it wasn't black and white. He wasn't as good as he fancied himself or as dark as I imagined. Like the majority of people who aren't totally evil assholes or saints, he existed in shades of grey, dealing with events as best he could or as he thought best, usually in the most secretive ruthless manner needed to ensure his goals. Perhaps he acted in darker shades of gray, but they were gray none the less."

Harry shook his head, "However I may feel about the man, his words about choices have more than a little bit of truth to them."

When he saw Aayla's doubtful look, Harry gestured toward the hold. "I have a bunch of scum-bag bounty hunters and slavers in there. I could just go and execute them all. I don't even have to use magic, or fire a blaster. I just press a button, enter an authorization code, and the ship will space them."

"I don't even need any special abilities for that. I could also just take a blaster and start firing, or simply stop the life support systems from functioning in there and let them suffocate," Harry listed off dispassionately "I choose not to. It doesn't matter what emotion I feel. It doesn't matter what abilities I may or may not have. I make that choice and my choice defines me."

"I… understand your point to an extent. I still think allowing oneself to indulge in those emotions are dangerous. But... I'm not sure what all of that has to do with not being able to teach me," Aayla said, trying to bring it back to the original topic. "And that is why I won't teach you," Harry said with a slight shake of his head. "I believe you will fail."

That left Aayla speechless, feeling like she'd been slapped. Worse was the look that was on Harry's face. It was a look that was filled with a combination of pity and a touch of scorn.

He shook his head slightly and then nodded slightly at Ahsoka. "We'll continue lessons in a bit, I'm going to go check on our guests." Then he moved to head out of the room, ignoring Aayla completely.

Aayla felt a lurch inside her, and it wasn't just her stomachs that did so. This one wasn't purely physical, it had a tinge of the Force behind it as well. She knew without a doubt that if he left the room, the decision would be final. The vision that filled her with horror would come about, and there is nothing she'd be able to do to stop it. Aayla felt her temper flare as he moved to brush past her as if she were inconsequential, not even a nuisance.

She reacted and stepped in front of him, putting herself directly between him and the exit. "No! That's not acceptable. I will not simply give up. I won't let you brush me off like this. I can't let you!" she stated and almost snarled simultaneously.

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