Shards of Old

-I don’t get it… It’s just like… Like I was the one missing memories.

-Something tampering with you? - I asked, a bit puzzled. - How does that even work…?

-You created me, shouldn’t you know…?

-Well…

I had to think for a while.

Those were the questions that I didn’t expect having to answer right now.

Or at all, really.

-It makes no sense to me - I finally said. - Sure, if we’d be still in the MIRE, it technically could’ve happened… but now…

-What does that place have to do with this now…? - she asked, not really keen on remembering that part of her life.

-Sorry to be blunt, but you were an AI. And AIs are written by people, at least their bases. Technically, if you were still connected to it, it would’ve been possible for someone to edit it, and by extension to edit your own memories. But that’s not possible now - I quickly added. - You are more human than anything. I can’t figure out…

-Oh, that. I can still connect - she simply said.

-Excuse me?

-Yes. I am connected to the database.

-How?! - I asked, stunned. - MIRE is done! Servers should be dead. Forever ago, on top of that.

-Well, I don’t know, but when I was moved with… with Mike, the servers were still up - she said. - Sure, those were different from what I had before, but my connection was still there.

-You could connect to them even after all that!?

-Of course. Didn’t you wonder before about that? And noticed that I still had access?

She was right.

There was a moment when I was wondering if those still existed…

But their existence aside, what does that even mean? How was she connected? What, was there some wireless network around or some shit?

What, the next thing she’s gonna tell me she got access to the whole Internet, huh?

To be honest, I was tempted to ask. But I was not going to.

-Okay. Okay. Let’s think. Is that database… similar to the old one? - I asked. -

-It’s a copy, I am pretty sure.

-Copy? That’s… yeah, okay. We did have backups… so those survived… but how are you connecting…

-Out of all the people, I thought you’d know…

-I don’t. What about Mike, though? He was the one who had the most recent contact with… the other side, so to speak. At least more recent than me.

-That’s true, but…

She went silent, most likely focusing on her memories, or rather on his memories that were dwelling within her.

-I can’t remember…

Yeah, I should’ve figured.

I swear, the most interesting parts were always missing.

-Of course.

-I mean… it… his soul was always the most unruly…

-Most unruly…?

-You know what I mean. After all, it escaped before and chased you, didn’t it?

-Was that really him?

-Of course. Who else?

-It’s not like… yeah, whatever. I mean, at this point, I probably should’ve known better. Whatever, or rather whoever was messing with your memories, wouldn't want to leave traces… Too bad wiping the traces left an even better clue…

-You… I…

-It’s kinda obvious at this point - I said, thinking aloud. - He was the one who had access last. And the only person that I know who’d be even able to do it. I still don’t know why, though. Do you have any ideas?

She was silent.

Well, no wonder. His mind was hard to understand. And especially after the stay in here, it was even more unstable than ever.

I spoke from experience.

-Well, since he’s gone, we at least don’t have to worry about that… - I said. - On the upside of your rampant absorption of people…

-I… I don’t think it’s that easy… - she said, suddenly strained.

Of course, there always had to be something.

-What’s happening?

-I told you… he was the most unruly soul… and he still is.

-”Still”?

-Yes… He wants to escape. Again.

Ah fucking great.

But, on the other hand, we could at least learn something from him.

Wait, but if he’s trying to escape…

-How long can you contain him? - I asked instantly.

-Don’t know. But I think… I should in time manage to suppress him.

-”In time”? How long?

-I don’t know! His presence is still strong. I think he didn’t like it when I didn’t finish you off. Or you me.

Yeah, it’s not like he planned on me being so stubborn.

Or her for that matter.

Wait, but that was also a good thing.

If that was a surprise for him, it means he wasn’t able to take control over her when she captured and attacked me. If that wasn’t the case, I’d be dead and she’d be gone as well, absorbed by him…

At least that’s what I thought should’ve happened…

But, there’s a better question…

-Is he conscious? - I asked, very curious about her answer.

-Conscious… No, I don’t think, so… at least not right now…

-That means you still have time. That we have time.

-Yeah, but time for what? - she asked, standing up and taking a deep breath. - It’s not like I have any ways of hastening the process. I mean, asides of absorbing you, or you absorbing me, but that’s not happening, I assume?

-Of course not. But how would that help?

-More minds to fight.

-And what, your accumulated minds aren’t enough? Am I supposed to be somehow stronger?

-You think that I was the one who got the most of that bunch? - she asked, bringing up the painful facts.

-Oh.

-Yeah… I am somewhat happy about that, but in the current circumstances…

I guess.

She had a scapegoat.

A little bit of, at least.

-He had the audacity to do that…? Or was it just… your influence…?

-At this point, I don’t know. I always blamed myself, but…

-No. He’d resist… If he’s that…

I stopped talking and got lost in thought.

Yeah, I had suspicions… but for him to try and do that alone?

I knew he changed, that this place changed him, but at this point, what was even his own will and what was hers…?

All of the minds and souls were mixed up… and not only in her.

But, since he was the most… “out there”, then…

-You want me to get him out?

-What do you mean, “get him out”? - she asked, clearly puzzled.

-Exactly what I said. Since he is most… well, the “freshest” one, so to speak, wouldn’t it be possible for me to get just him?

-I… NO! That’s too dangerous!

-Don’t worry, I won’t absorb you… - I started, but immediately realized my own mistake.

-I am not worried about that! If I can’t hold him, how would you even be able to do that! As far as we know, he’d instantly take control over your body, and then… and then…

-Yes, I know, it’s risky, but I am not planning on just leaving him inside me - I assured her. - Remember, when I dealt with a certain tree’s problem…?

-Tree… oh. Him… But you don’t have a piece of…

-I don’t. But you can make those, right? - I asked. - When you attacked me, you conjured something similar, right?

-Those were just fakes! - she said. - It was just for show… If I was able to make those so easily…

-Well shit. I guess the original plan then.

-Original…?

-Just chop off a piece of me - I said. - You can do it, you managed to make a hole in my chest. Just chipping a bit shouldn’t be an issue.

-I… why?! That’s the most reckless thing I’ve ever heard of.

-Pff. As if. But, as you seem to not denying, you think that you can do it? That the theory is sound?

-I mean… maybe…? I don’t know…

-Don’t you try and brush me off.

-I mean… The numbers… aren’t exactly my strong suit any more.

-Numbers? What, you need to calculate some values? It’s magic, not processing any more. How do you think it would work?

-Mhg… Err… It… might be possible… But it’s still risky!

-Like I’ve not done anything risky in my life. Great!

-I can’t… with you… I don’t….

-Don’t tell me you suddenly gained empathy towards me - I said, rolling my eyes. - Not so long ago you tried killing me and…

-It was just for show! - she protested, but I wasn’t having it.

-Sure, sure. Your show was pretty convincing. And it contained elements good enough to fool anyone, including bodily mutilation. Can you repeat that?

-I don’t want to.

-But I want to. Come on.

I slapped the ground next to me and stood up, stretching.

-Come on, hit me - I said. - Where do you think it’d work the best?

She only shook her head.

-I cannot… please, don’t, it’s my problem, you don’t…

-Your problem? It’s more mine than anything - I commented. - For some reason, as you are well aware, he is after me as much as he is after you. So what happens if he takes over then, huh? I am in the same danger as you are now.

-But if you attempt it, you’re only increasing danger! He will act even sooner!

-So what? - I asked. - It’s better to get this over with as soon as possible. It’s the same danger either way. What, you think you can contain him forever?

-I don’t know! But I can try and minimize the risks! Hide somewhere, wait for him to weaken… Something, I don’t know.

-Like that’s going to help. Listen, this way at least I am on my own turf, so to speak. He will be approaching on my terms, not the other way around.

-It’s… I don’t know..

Wait.

Something was wrong.

Wasn’t that just moments ago her goal? To let me absorb him? Well, her to be exact, but along with him?

Why suddenly so defensive?

I asked about that.

But the answer was as vague as expected.

-That’s the problem! You want only him! - she said, clearly stressed. - If you’d get both me and him, you’d have plenty of power to retaliate! Your plan is just plain suicide.

Well, she wasn’t completely wrong. But, I was not going to give up on that.

-Listen. I know, it’s risky. Sure. But I will do it whenever you want it or not. I still can break my own body, you know. It’s just going to be more annoying and I’ll waste a bunch of mana, but it’s doable.

-Mgh…

-So you’re helping or not?

She didn’t reply.

So, I just shrugged and took a few steps back.

-If you aren’t helping, then move a bit away. I don’t want you to get hit by a stray magic. Shit is weird, especially if I am going to aim at myself…

I started gathering mana, but the moment I began, she stopped me.

-Okay. Okay. I will help. But I have a condition.

A condition? Her?

That’s interesting.

-I’m listening.

-If you have even the slightest hint of this going wrong, you will absorb me.

-Excuse me?

-You heard me. If something goes wrong, you need to absorb me as soon as possible. That way you’ll at least have a chance of resistance, with me being your source of energy.

-You do clearly realize that I hate this, right?

-And you do clearly realize that I hate you trying to put yourself in danger because of me? I already gave you enough problems as it is…

Well, she wasn’t wrong…

I am not sure if that was just her again trying to trick me into absorbing her, but I couldn’t see any way to circumvent it.

So I agreed.

-Fine. But I am doing that only as a last resort.

-You are doing that if you see things going wrong. There’s no “last resort”. If you are going to hesitate, you will be too late.

-I fucking hate it. But okay. I will do it.

She sighed with relief, just to remember that it’s just a precaution.

And, to be honest, I was not planning on absorbing her, at all.

I was certain in my ability and to shut out any outer influence that would like to invade me.

After all, I’ve already managed to fight those at least for a bit. And, if Mike was really capable of doing that, he would’ve done so multiple times already.

He probably was still lacking something.

Hopefully.

-Do you need something, or…? - she asked, a bit on edge.

-Me? I was about to ask you. You don’t need any pacts, or something weird like that?

-Pacts?! Hell no! - she pretty much yelled, seemed almost insulted that I even tried suggesting that.

-Okay, okay, just wanted to ask. People here are sometimes very particular.

-But I am not “people here”.

-Well, you somewhat are - I pointed out. - The most stubborn ones are a part of you, after all…

-Don’t remind me… - she muttered with a pained expression on her face.

-Okay, okay. Then no, I don’t need anything. Just go and hit me.

-You say hit, but where? - she asked. - It’s not like you were particular about that “minor” detail of your plan.

-Ah, right… Well, to be honest, I don’t think it matters. What?! - I added, seeing as she seemed taken aback by this comment.

-I… I mean, you want me to chop your head off or something?! - she said. - Because that’s what it sounds like!

-Okay, calm down! First of all, while I do think I’d survive that, I also think that you’re smarter than that! Do you even imagine how much mana and time it would take for me to recover?

-According to my memories, not much.

Ah.

Right, Mike did help me regrow my body back then…

But that’s besides the point!

-Weren’t you just a moment ago so worried about not hurting me? - I asked. - Seems a bit strange, you know…

-Ah! I mean… I am, but that’s not what…

She started stumbling on her words.

To be honest, it was kind of cute.

-Calm down, I am just playing. Just hit my arm. Should be enough.

-Wouldn’t a finger suffice…? - she asked, still flustered.

-I am not sure. If he is really so powerful…

-Then it’s better for him to have as little space to work with as possible!

-But, we then have to worry about the fact of him even fitting into that. What the hell would even happen if I was to transfer a piece of his soul? Would that even work…?

-Well, it is possible… I kind of did it…

Right.

I was on the receiving end of such a part.

Did that mean it was her “experiment”, so to speak? That she didn’t want to do that?

-But, we don’t want to do that. I am not sure, since when I did that I was a consenting target and just went with it… but with him…

-Right. He will resist, and try to escape. Or something else.

-Yeah… I am worried about “something else”.

Which probably was going to be attempting to take over one of us.

I still was not sure why he was doing that in the first place.

But, I was not going to learn any time soon if I was just going to wait. So why not hurry up.

-I am ready. Go, hit me - I said sitting down and placing my extended hand on the ground.

-Okay…

She took a deep breath.

I could feel mana gathering for just a moment, for it to be absorbed by her.

Was it really so little that she needed…?

Apparently so, because a moment later I felt the familiar pain, although this time not in my chest.

Her hand was again changed into that strange bloody spike, although this time it was only from the wrist down and just one hand, but it soon proved to be effective.

With one quick stab, she pierced my own wrist and pulled up.

It wasn’t as effective as it was with my torso before, probably because of her holding back, but it was enough to break through, so I wasn’t complaining.

She managed to almost remove my whole hand with one swipe, but lacked the precision to separate it completely, leaving me with it hanging from a wrist, like a tree that was almost chopped down.

-Fffuck, almost - I groaned, not used to the pain. - Go again.

I didn’t have to tell her twice.

With reverse motion, she swiped again, aiming for the “wound”.

This time, she finished it. The second strike was enough to leave me without a hand.

-Good. Now, just let me…

Leaving the hand on the ground, I focused on my wound.

I thought it would be the best for me to immediately work on regrowing it, if possible, that is.

I already knew that I SHOULD be able to do it just as quickly as it was when he helped me, but thinking and doing were two different things.

I focused on gathering mana first.

It wasn’t that hard, especially since between the two of us there was a lot of power now gathered in the immediate area…

But, whatever I would do, I wasn’t able to actually convert the magic into something that would help me with the process…

As far as I knew, I should just absorb it, using the wounded part of the body.

I thought it would be easier.

When I was wounded before, I could tell that whenever I had a part of me “removed” so to speak, I would be leaking mana through that “opening”.

I thought, if I was to stick my stump into the source of magic and then try and reverse the flow, or at least add absorption to it, I’d be able to regenerate faster…

But, that was not it, apparently. Mike had to do something else back then. Too bad I wasn’t really sure what…