Saint, You’re So Vulgar!

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#006 Episode. You have to take responsibility, right?

After a lengthy debate, Asher finally succeeded in leaving the room.

Today’s agenda was a community service to raise money for shopping.

There was a hint of skepticism about whether this was truly a saintly endeavor, as it felt rather worldly, but still, good deeds are good deeds.

Hmm, isn’t it a matter of using one’s abilities to aid the poor and the sick?

He intended to approach it with enthusiasm, and the first step was to inform the church about the inspection.

From this point onwards, Asher was nervous.

Despite being a good deed, just being a Saintess meant that she would be classified as the church’s most important figure, which would likely bring about various annoying precautions concerning her safety.

However, his worries about “How can I say this just right to get outside?” became meaningless as the procedure proved to be incredibly simple.

“Ah! I’ve confirmed it! Then I’ll proceed directly with the paperwork!”

“?”

“Thank you for your grace, Saintess.”

The priest in charge cheerfully and without any preliminary measures accepted the task, looking surprisingly bright.

He didn’t even report it to his superiors!

“What…?”

Asher felt baffled as Bershia explained.

“I told you. The Saintess is like a chicken rib. They praise her highly, giving her a title, but since she doesn’t actually do anything, they’re thankful for whatever she manages to accomplish.”

“Is that… correct…?”

“Let’s face it, the Saintess serves as the church’s face. How wonderful is that? Having someone who appears impressive come out to care for the sick? It’s great for the citizens who will benefit from the healing, and good for the church’s image as well.”

Asher’s lips pursed.

Bershia chuckled slyly.

That smirk held a hint of cynicism.

“Well, since they’re too lazy to do anything else, they pay to have this done instead. You know the reason for the special allowance….”

Is the Holy Church really okay like this?

Asher began to genuinely worry about the church’s future.

*

Despite a little mishap, Asher somehow managed to get outside.

Today’s inspection involved providing medical services while touring the Osia Territory adjacent to the church.

As Asher left the church, a resolute expression was visible on his face.

“I have to do this somehow! Yes, this could be the calling given to me by my divine parents!”

His parents might have meant for him to do something about the fallen image of the Saintess with this task.

The act of praying for danger to approach close to him might mean that, as the image of the Saintess plummeted, he should step forward to protect Bershia from danger.

With the massive swell of self-importance mixed with delirium, Asher felt a tinge of heat on his cheeks.

However, if he could finally restore the Saintess’s dignity, wouldn’t that be good for Bershia?

Asher’s gaze turned toward Bershia.

But not knowing these inner thoughts, Bershia wore a carefree expression.

With her hands stuffed in her pockets, she yawned in such an endearing manner.

Asher’s expression quickly soured.

“Your conduct is unacceptable! Pull your hands out and cover your mouth while yawning! And why on earth is your button undone again?! Up to your neck… Ugh! Come here!”

“You’re quite the stickler. We’re outside the church, can’t I relax a bit?”

“It’s my reputation! I don’t like it when others view me as undisciplined!”

Asher chided as he buttoned Bershia’s coat.

He tucked the loose bit of fabric into her pants and straightened her cape, tying it down correctly.

After tightening the belt and adjusting the angle of her sword sheathe, she finally looked somewhat like a knight.

Asher crossed his arms and nodded repeatedly!

His smile sparkled in approval.

“This is perfect! This level should meet the standards in the manuals!”

What hovered around them was exactly the Saintess’s escort knight.
What particularly caught Asher’s eye was the seal attached to the cape.
The emblem of wings wrapped around a shield, symbolizing the Saintess’s escort; it filled him with both pride and sorrow all at once.

‘Ah, I should have been in that position.’

Tsk, he smacked his lips.
So caught up in his nostalgia, he didn’t notice.

“You’re staring pretty obviously.”

Bershia covered her chest with her hands.
Suddenly, Asher froze.
He squinted at Bershia, glaring.

‘There’s no way I can just keep taking this.’

Thinking that, he immediately retaliated.

“I was looking at the seal! Seeing myself in the position I truly wanted to be in made me sentimental!”

But this was once again a futile struggle.

“Then what was that about?”
“…Huh?”
“You were touching various parts of your body while organizing your clothes, weren’t you?”
“Hah…!”

Asher was speechless.
…That was a mistake.

“That’s my body, isn’t it? I can touch it as I please!”

He shouldn’t have said that.
Expressing it that way was a trap he built for himself.
Bershia grinned slyly.

“Then can I touch you?”
“…!”
“According to your logic, it’s my body, so touching it should be fine, right?”

Asher’s thoughts came to a grinding halt.
He couldn’t immediately wrap his head around the words he’d just heard, standing there in a daze.
But for someone who’s just become a fool, that wasn’t easy.

‘What is this even about?’

So Bershia stepped in to clarify.
She took a step closer, closing the distance.
Then she leaned forward, whispering into his ear.

“I was just wondering, but can you tell me what it feels like if someone else touches my chest…?”

Asher met his destined end.
“AAAAHHH!!!”
With his face turned as red as a tomato, Asher sprinted toward the city.
He covered his ears, tightly shutting his eyes.
Asher didn’t want to experience, let alone imagine, such things.
So he kept chanting.

“I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!!!”
“Hey, even the knight is curious…”
“Ugh!”

It was unfortunate.
Bershia’s physique was inferior to Asher’s, and even if he ran at full speed, his strides were no different from Bershia’s long and confident walks.

“Don’t, let’s talk about our agreement…”
“No! Absolutely not!!!”

Bershia’s laughter followed him like a shadow.

The price of complacency was death.
In that moment, Asher thought of his friend Marvin.

– Why are you putting yourself through that pain? Others are running away from it at all costs.

He was right.
Being a knight of the Saintess was not an easy position.

*

By the time they arrived in the city, the atmosphere had calmed down.
Why does it feel like I already want to rest even before starting work?
Caught in a lethargy, Asher eventually recalled the cause and glared at Bershia.

“…Saintess, please no more of those dreadful pranks. We’re in the city now, and there will be many eyes on us.”
“Then when we get out of the city, we can go back to it…”
“No!”
“Ugh.”

Asher narrowed his eyes.
He appeared stern, grave, and serious, yet this didn’t have much effect on Bershia’s face.
She shrugged her shoulders.

“Okay, okay. I have my own thoughts too; I wouldn’t act like that in front of others, of course.”
“You made a promise! Medical service isn’t merely about earning money; it’s spreading the grace of our divine parents to the world! It should be solemn! There should be no coarseness involved!”
“Yes, sir.”
“Even though our bodies have switched, the perception of the populace towards the Saintess is important. Granting grace is, in other words, a physical dissemination of faith…!”

Asher launched into a lengthy speech.
Even after their bodies returned, he wished for Bershia to approach this task with a sense of responsibility.
At some point, while he was immersed in preaching faith, he even raised his voice, losing sight of how attentive Bershia was.
How long had this gone on?

“Ah, we’ve arrived.”
“…Oh! We’re already here.”

Asher smacked his lips.
He felt disappointment that he hadn’t finished discussing topics related to divine power and the grace of our divine parents.
But, of course, he couldn’t postpone his main duties for that.

Upon arriving at the church’s branch, Asher coughed lightly to clear his throat and straightened up.
Speaking little yet appearing benevolent.
He began to act as Bershia instructed.

“I greet the Saintess.”
“Yes, where are the patients?”

Although he found it awkward to keep a soft tone, he endured.
The priest at the branch guided Asher and Bershia to where the patients were, and upon arrival, Asher sighed softly.

“…There are a lot.”
“Given the large population in the city…”

It suggested that the number of ailments and incidents was also high.
In the open space at the back of the branch, a line of patients extended past the alley.
He probably wouldn’t be able to leave until nightfall to conclude the treatments.
Bershia whispered, almost inquiring.

“Are you okay with this?”
To which Asher replied with a wry smile.

“I can’t help it. There are so many patients, so I have to endure a bit.”
“Wow, you really are the Saintess.”
“No, I’m the Knight.”
“What are you buying?”
“Oh…!”
“Just kidding. I’ll stop.”

Asher could no longer contain himself and blurted it out.
He shot a warning with his eyes.
Bershia signaled toward the patients.
With a sigh, Asher stepped forward.
It was then.

“Whoa! It’s the Saintess!”
“AAAAHHH!!!”

Cheers, or sounds echoing with desperation erupted.
Asher felt a pang of sorrow.
The emotion reflected in their eyes was none other than desperation.

But he knew he couldn’t wear a sympathetic expression.
Asher understood that what was needed in the face of desperation was a smile, not pity.

It was a sentiment he’d learned from someone beside him.

‘Though many illusions were shattered…’

Well, that wasn’t the important thing right now.
Asher maintained a gentle smile and spoke.

“It’s nice to meet you all.”

He tried to speak as elegantly as possible, biting down the awkwardness and embarrassment as they looked at the patients.
Their reactions were reverent.
Their praises for the divine parents were genuinely moving.

Now it was time to start the examination.
Asher sat down, and the first patient was an elderly man bent over, gasping with breath infused with metallic sounds.

“You’ll feel better soon. Please bear with it for a moment.”
“Yes, yes, Saintess…! Thank you so much…!”
“Let’s offer thanks to the divine parents instead.”

While speaking, he grasped the old man’s wrist.
It was simply a matter of boosting the immune system.
With a little vitality, he would surely be just fine.

‘Prayer of vitality, and since the joints have weakened, a healing prayer.’

Though Asher was primarily versed in battle prayers as a knight, he also had basic knowledge of healing prayers.

‘This shouldn’t be too difficult.’

He thought confidently, channeling the divine power.

‘Just like usual.’

…That was the problem.

Boom—!
‘…Huh?’
Asher overlooked it.
The sacred power bestowed upon her, said to be favored by the world.
The sheer quantity and output of it were staggering.

‘Eek…?!’
Panic surged through Asher.
The moment he unleashed the sacred power, something extraordinary occurred.

Rumble—!
The ground tremored.
The sky howled like a madman.
And an immense noise reverberated throughout the city.

Kaboom!
‘What on earth…!’
A sense of crisis washed over Asher, and he hurriedly tried to withdraw the divine power.
But once unleashed, sacred power and prayers already in place couldn’t simply be stopped.

Panic swelled to his head.
Then, another layer of panic occurred shortly after.

Kiiiiiing—!
“Ah! Saintess!”
“Ah!! Divine parents!!!”

A halo materialized above Asher’s head.
A golden circle spun wildly, amplifying the activated prayer.
Asher’s pupils trembled as though an earthquake had struck.

“W-wait! Just a moment!!!”
He screamed internally, but the divine power breezily ignored his protests and continued its work.

Zzzzzzzziiiii—!
A blinding light poured from the heavens.
Dark clouds parted, and columns of golden light enveloped the space, further reaching the city walls and surrounding farmlands.

The ground turned to gold.
The prayer infused with light began healing everything alive.

Life bloomed.
Forgotten in time, blessings screamed out as they blossomed.
The same went for people as well.

“Ooooh…!!!”
A voice of awe erupted from somewhere.
They soon kneeled, banging the ground with their knees.

“Divine parents…!”
“O great Creator…!”

Some shouted the divine parents’ name.
Some shed tears with their hands clasped, while others pressed their foreheads to the ground and began to testify.

Asher’s mouth hung open in disbelief.
A cold sweat dripped down his back.

‘What, is….’

Something was going wrong.
The moment he thought this, a voice came from behind him.

“Wow.”
Squeak, Asher’s head turned.
What he saw there was…

“You’ve really messed up.”
Bershia was grinning mischievously, almost as if she had caught him at a weak moment.
A sense of dread settled inside him, and he wasn’t mistaken.
Bershia languidly whispered.

“I was hoping to live quietly.”
“……”
“Thanks to you, it’s getting noisy. More people are becoming a nuisance. Ah, my life is ruined…”
“……”
“…You have to take responsibility, right?”

Bershia’s eyes curved into crescent moons.
The pupils inside glimmered darkly with shadows.
To that,

“…Hiccup.”
Asher’s blood ran cold.