Romantic Gangster

#46

“……”

Perhaps because too much information had come in at once, Ji-woo’s mind was complicated, but he kept looking at Hyun-joon and listening to his breathing. Although he knew Hyun-joon couldn’t sleep comfortably because he had to get up immediately if a customer came in, Ji-woo stayed still, not moving his body, worried that it might be uncomfortable. He wanted to let him sleep as comfortably as possible, even if just for a little while.

‘I can kiss you. I want to.’

Maybe because it was quiet, Hyun-joon’s words from earlier floated around in Ji-woo’s complicated mind. He couldn’t understand how someone could say such things so casually. Isn’t it… difficult to even say the word ‘kiss’ out loud? Unless it’s just thinking about it secretly by yourself….

Ji-woo, not being the outgoing type, felt a bit of guilt and nervousness as he secretly thought of the word ‘kiss’ in his mind.

Kiss…. Kiss.

Of course, Ji-woo knew what a kiss was. These days, there are often quite intense kissing scenes in dramas and movies, so Ji-woo occasionally came across such things.

Also, once when he was doing homework at Choi Young-jae’s house, while Young-jae was away for a moment, he saw a video file named ‘Ski Skill’ in the folder where data was stored on the laptop. When he clicked on it, a video compilation of incredibly intense kissing scenes started playing, surprising him so much that he ended up watching about 30 seconds of very erotic kissing.

It seemed that Young-jae had named the file ‘ski’ instead of ‘kiss’ to avoid being caught easily. Ji-woo remembered quickly closing the video and folder and pretending not to know anything, without telling Young-jae.

Even apart from that, although he couldn’t remember exactly how he came to know, he knew very well that kissing between lovers wasn’t just a peck on the lips, but involved rubbing tongues as well.

“……”

Although he knew about it, he had never talked about it or tried it anywhere. He hadn’t had the chance to do it since he didn’t have anyone to date, but he had never really thought about wanting to kiss someone either. Even when he heard someone bragging about their kissing experiences like war stories, he didn’t think much of it.

But now, clearly, just one statement from Hyun-joon had made the word ‘kiss’ incredibly bothersome. It felt like he was thinking too much about things he shouldn’t, and eventually, after thinking about it so much, he experienced gestalt collapse, making the word ‘kiss’ itself feel very strange.

Ji-woo was about to shake his head to get rid of the thoughts, but seeing Hyun-joon still leaning on his shoulder, breathing evenly as if he had really fallen asleep, he straightened his posture again quietly.

Suddenly admitting that he liked him, and even saying weird things like there were definitely opportunities to kiss, messing up his heart, and then peacefully sleeping….

He felt like he should be a little annoyed, but strangely, he wasn’t at all. He was just… curious.

How could he clearly understand his own feelings like Hyun-joon did, and how much did he need to understand his feelings to know what actions he wanted to take?

Whether he liked Hyun-joon or not.

“……”

Ji-woo’s hand quietly rose and lightly touched Hyun-joon’s bangs. Fortunately, Hyun-joon didn’t wake up.

Withdrawing his hand, Ji-woo looked at the closed convenience store door. The store was unusually quiet today.

Although he felt sorry for the owner, he was glad there were no customers. And he hoped that customers wouldn’t come in for a little longer.

So that Hyun-joon, leaning on his shoulder, could sleep a bit more.

* * *

Was the convenience store always this close to home?

Ji-woo had been thinking that every day lately. He had never really thought about it before, but these days, when he walked with Hyun-joon, chatting about trivial things, 1 minute felt like it passed in the blink of an eye, like 1 second.

“We’re already here…”

“What? Have you already finished thinking?”

“Huh? What thoughts?”

“Wasn’t that just now a confession to me? That you don’t want to be apart from me, you want to stay together all night, walking with me makes the distance from the convenience store to your house feel like one step, something like that.”

“It was just a muttering to myself. It doesn’t mean much.”

Ji-woo shook his head and moved half a step closer to Hyun-joon. It was because he needed to receive Hyun-joon’s pheromones before they parted.

“Ask me to hug you.”

“No, that’s gross.”

“Hey, you just need to say it out loud, what’s gross about that? You like the actual hugging though.”

“That’s…!”

As he was about to continue, his body was suddenly pulled forward. As their bodies touched, he could feel Hyun-joon’s pheromones. Ji-woo, quickly becoming drowsy, rested his cheek on Hyun-joon’s shoulder as the strength left his body. He couldn’t remember well what he was trying to say, whether it was an excuse or a pretext, and his mind was just filled with the thought of how good he felt.

“You should hug my waist.”

“Okay…”

It was cute how he was shy just a moment ago, saying things like it was gross or whatever, suddenly acting coy, but now he had melted quickly with the pheromones and become so docile. Hyun-joon released a bit more pheromones as he felt Ji-woo hugging his waist.

He could hear Ji-woo slowly exhaling on his shoulder. He was curious about what face Ji-woo was making as he breathed in and out, but not wanting to separate, he just imagined it in his mind. In his imagination, Ji-woo looked very sexy.

Even though they had been like that for a while, it was still disappointing when they had to separate. However, Hyun-joon had hope that if Ji-woo just finished his thoughts in the right direction, if he took one more big step in the direction he was going, they could hold hands, hug, and do even more than that anytime without the excuse of pheromones. So Hyun-joon separated their bodies and neatly tidied up his pheromones. Then, looking at Ji-woo’s dazed face, he lightly touched the tip of his nose with his fingertip.

“You look stupid.”

“Did we hug longer than usual today…? I’m so sleepy.”

“Go in and sleep quickly. Ah, don’t forget to think before you sleep.”

“What thoughts?”

“Ah, this won’t do. You’ve already forgotten that? You said you’d think about it. Whether you’ll accept my confession or not, whether you’ll date me or not, whether you can kiss me or…”

Ji-woo, whose eyes widened as if he was fully awake now, raised his hand and covered Hyun-joon’s mouth. Even though he couldn’t hear what Hyun-joon was saying inside that palm, Hyun-joon kept talking, and later just moved his lips silently.

The feeling of lips parting and closing was slowly transmitted through his palm. Feeling his toes curl, Ji-woo quickly removed his hand.

“Is one day enough time?”

“How can you think about all that in just one day?”

“Is it a difficult thought?”

“Of course it’s difficult.”

“Ah, that hurts. Others are going crazy because they can’t do anything with me.”

“Then go to someone who thinks quickly and is going crazy wanting to do something with you. I’m sleepy, so I’m going to wash up and sleep.”

Ah, fuck. Seo Ji-woo is so cold-hearted.

Hyun-joon stood in front of Ji-woo, who was really about to turn around and go in, and leaned his upper body forward to meet Ji-woo’s eyes, barely suppressing his heart that felt like it was about to die from anxiety.

“Alright. I just need to wait, right? Fuck, you can be really scary sometimes.”

“I’m not being scary, you’re just feeling guilty for no reason and hearing it that way.”

“…I make one fucking joke and get verbally beaten. Ah, I want a cigarette.”

Ji-woo, who had been looking up at the grumbling Hyun-joon with a rather firm expression, finally burst into a small laugh. His grumbling somehow looked a bit cute.

“Be careful on your way. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, tomorrow…”

The words “see you tomorrow” coming from Ji-woo’s mouth suddenly felt very ticklish. Saying “see you tomorrow” as if it was natural… It made him think that if they kept meeting naturally like this every day, they might be able to stay together forever.

“…See you tomorrow. Go in.”

Hyun-joon, who had imagined rolling Ji-woo around in his mouth like candy as he watched him wave once before going in even after they had already said goodbye, turned around with a long sigh at the quickly disappearing back view.

“……”

Ah, I forgot to tell him to think in a positive direction.

Actually, the reason Hyun-joon was urging Ji-woo to think quickly was partly because of his impatient nature, but also because he knew that if the thoughts deepened and lengthened, there was a possibility that the decision would go in an unfavorable direction for him.

Because Seo Ji-woo is smart.

He’s not the impulsive type like Hyun-joon who lives without thinking about tomorrow, pushing forward with the feeling that liking someone is everything in the world right now. Unlike Hyun-joon, he’s quite a diligent type, and above all, he probably wouldn’t want to get deeply involved with someone like Hyun-joon who others might see as a delinquent.

Of course, the last part was just Hyun-joon feeling guilty for no reason, as Ji-woo had said earlier, but anyway, he felt that while Ji-woo might like his face or pheromones or body, he probably wouldn’t like much else about him. That’s why he hoped Ji-woo wouldn’t think too deeply.

Ah, shit. When the homeroom teacher told me to come to school, I should have at least pretended to go. Should I quit debt collecting too? Ji-woo probably sees me as a hopeless delinquent too, right?

Hyun-joon, rubbing the back of his head vigorously, lifted his arm and smelled his sleeve, feeling something ticklish. The sleeve had a faint smell of soft and warm castella.

Ah… I already miss Seo Ji-woo.

I really don’t want to go home.

It would be nice to stay up all night eating snacks and reading comics with Ji-woo, laughing and chatting.

Another long sigh flowed out as his slightly parted lips closed. As he started walking again, Hyun-joon fervently hoped.

He hoped that the delinquent Hyun-joon in Ji-woo’s mind would stay well hidden, unable to interfere with Ji-woo’s thoughts all night long.

* * *