Romantic Gangster

#44

Ji-woo nodded, focusing on Hyun-joon’s black t-shirt, which told him what he wanted most without asking what was strange or how it was strange. Immediately, Hyun-joon’s arms moved. Ji-woo entered into the embrace that pulled him in as if to trap his body, and quietly wrapped his arms around Hyun-joon’s waist in return.

“You’ll probably hate it because I’m sweaty.”

The voice resonating in his ear made his lower abdomen flutter. With his lips buried in Hyun-joon’s shoulder, Ji-woo quickly shook his head. He wasn’t lying for Hyun-joon’s sake. He really didn’t mind it at all.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah…”

As he slowly inhaled, Hyun-joon’s overwhelmingly good scent penetrated his senses. It was so good, really so incredibly good that he felt like he might cry a little.

“I want to smell you too.”

Almost simultaneously with the low voice sinking in, Ji-woo felt breath on his nape. It was the exact same feeling he had experienced in the music room not long ago.

Hyun-joon’s lips slowly moved around, touching various parts of Ji-woo’s neck. It felt ticklish and hot, and it felt good. Even though it seemed like they shouldn’t go this far, Ji-woo didn’t want to tell him to stop. He just quietly let Hyun-joon do as he pleased.

As the lips on his neck felt hotter, Ji-woo’s breathing became slightly faster even though he was standing still. With his eyes closed, Ji-woo exhaled his heated breath over Hyun-joon’s shoulder. Now he could feel Hyun-joon’s breath near his ear. The breath and breathing sounds flowing into his ear sent shivers beyond tingles throughout his body. Even though he knew what he was doing with Hyun-joon, he couldn’t bring himself to say stop.

“Ah…”

He felt Hyun-joon sucking on his nape, just like he had sucked on the corner of his eye last time. The arms wrapped around his body loosened, only for hands to grip his waist instead. Even though he was wearing a t-shirt under his school uniform shirt, he could feel the heat of Hyun-joon’s hands.

The bell signaling the end of class rang, as if telling them to come to their senses. But nothing was going to change.

Even a slight sense of guilt towards the unfamiliar and unnatural act quickly dissipated in the heat. Ji-woo hugged Hyun-joon’s waist a little tighter. As their bodies pressed completely together, he felt something hard touching his lower body. He wasn’t ignorant of what that was either. Yet it was strange that he still didn’t think they should stop.

“…Hah…”

His body was pushed back until his back hit the bathroom wall. Hyun-joon pressed against him with even more force than he had used to lean into the wall. It was a strength that Ji-woo could never push away on his own.

“Ha…”

A deep, intense breath clung to his ear. He felt like his legs might give out. Even then, he couldn’t bring himself to say stop or tell Hyun-joon not to do it. He just wanted to see Hyun-joon’s face. The moment he turned his head for that one thing, he heard footsteps.

As soon as he heard that sound, his mind returned to normal. Hyun-joon must have been in the same situation, as his movements stopped. Along with rough breathing, the strength left Hyun-joon’s body. As their interlocked bodies separated slightly, the heat that seemed to have a tangible form filled the bathroom stall even more tightly. Even though there should be plenty of oxygen, it was hard to breathe.

“……”

“……”

Their eyes met in the awkward air. Ji-woo, who had been looking up at Hyun-joon as he lowered his gaze while lifting his chin, was the first to lower his eyes. Soon, the sound of running water at the sink stopped, and this time there were receding footsteps. Once again, a perfect silence fell.

“Shall we go out too?”

“…Yeah.”

Ji-woo followed Hyun-joon, who opened the door and went out first. Without knowing why, with a heart that felt like it might burst, he turned on the cold water strongly and wet his hands.

“……”

Beside him, Hyun-joon was washing his face with cold water. Only after splashing his face with cold water cupped in his hands several times did he exhale a long breath.

“I didn’t release my pheromones.”

“…Huh?”

Hyun-joon, shaking off the water with his hands, spoke while looking at Ji-woo standing next to him in the mirror. Ji-woo also met Hyun-joon’s eyes in the mirror before shifting his gaze to look at the real Hyun-joon. He didn’t release his pheromones… Ji-woo couldn’t interpret what that meant right away.

“I said I didn’t release them, my pheromones.”

The bell signaling the start of class rang. Hyun-joon, after glancing towards the hallway, raised his hand and playfully flicked his fingers lightly. A couple of cold water droplets on his fingers splashed onto Ji-woo’s face. Only then did Ji-woo come to his senses and meet Hyun-joon’s eyes as he grinned as usual.

“Let’s go, for now.”

“…Yeah.”

Watching Hyun-joon’s back as he left the bathroom first, Ji-woo exhaled a secretly trembling breath and took confused steps.

‘I didn’t release my pheromones.’

The meaning contained in those words approached and retreated repeatedly, dropping heavy emotions one by one into Ji-woo’s heart. He wanted to empty his mind before it became heavier. He knew well that when emotions pile up and the heart becomes very heavy, it becomes difficult.

‘He said he didn’t release them. His pheromones.’

Although he couldn’t figure out what words to use or how to empty his heart, he decided to think about it anyway. Before Hyun-joon really started to see him as strange.

* * *

Ji-woo had been lost in thought for five days already. It wasn’t that he had any particularly worrying issues, but to say he didn’t have any would be untrue given how many thoughts filled his mind.

If those thoughts were about his studies, or the vague uncertainty about the days ahead, or about getting a job, it wouldn’t be this troubling. But what filled Ji-woo’s mind was Hyun-joon. It was too clear and distinct to be called a misconception, and too significant to think it would just pass with time.

‘I didn’t release my pheromones.’

The words Hyun-joon had said as they left the bathroom kept lingering in his mind. He didn’t release his pheromones… Then why did Ji-woo feel so good while hugging Hyun-joon? Why on earth?

While he couldn’t say that the reason for hanging out with Hyun-joon was 100% because of pheromones, he thought the reason for having physical contact with Hyun-joon was 100% because of pheromones.

Hugging another man without feeling strange, enjoying his scent, feeling at ease… He thought all these effects were obtainable solely because of ‘pheromones’.

But… Hyun-joon said he didn’t release his pheromones.

That meant that without the important reason of pheromones, he had just been hugging Hyun-joon all that time. Feeling comfortable in his embrace, not wanting to let go, for quite a long time.

Remembering that day when they were secretly pressed together in that tiny bathroom stall still made his heart sting.

It wasn’t a negative signal. A tingling sensation of something rang out, followed by a numbing feeling that shook his heart. Covering the area near his heart with his hand or pressing it hard didn’t help at all.

“We haven’t had any asshole customers lately.”

Ji-woo, who had been standing absentmindedly with the barcode scanner in hand, came to his senses and looked up at Hyun-joon. He had gotten lost in thought again while being with Hyun-joon. Getting lost in thoughts about Hyun-joon while being with Hyun-joon… It felt like an ironic thing, and somewhat embarrassing, but lately he couldn’t help his feelings.

“Is it because of me?”

“Probably. Seems like the word got out. That you’re here.”

“I guess. All those assholes are connected. Jerks tend to flock together. So when you properly deal with one of them, the word just spreads and they don’t even come near the place where they got dealt with.”

“It’s been so comfortable lately without those kinds of customers.”

“What about me coming every day?”

“Huh?”

Caught off guard by the sudden question, Ji-woo closed his lips for a moment as if catching his breath, mulling over Hyun-joon’s question. It was true that not having troublesome customers was comfortable, but how did he feel about Hyun-joon coming here every day?

“It’s good, really good.”

It was good. Truly. He didn’t even need to think deeply about it. Hyun-joon, who used to come around 8 PM, now came from the time Ji-woo started his part-time job until it ended. Sometimes he would leave to do some work when something came up, but he spent most of his time with Ji-woo. And Ji-woo had never once thought it was strange.

“You like it?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you like about it?”

“Well… I’m not bored, I’m not scared, it feels reassuring to be together, and I feel at ease.”

Hyun-joon laughed as he watched Ji-woo listing reasons while folding his fingers one by one. He lightly poked Ji-woo’s soft-looking cheek with his fingertip. His reaction was quite different from other guys.

Of course, he didn’t bother to play around with other bastards, but even if he did touch them lightly by chance, they would show rough reactions that weren’t even funny. But Ji-woo was different. He didn’t swear, didn’t try to retaliate with pointless aggression, he just quietly smiled.

“I like it too.”

“……”

“Coming here. No, being here with you.”

“……”

“I fucking love it.”

“…You like it?”

“Yeah, I like it.”

Hyun-joon’s words of liking it, which came straight through the center without wavering or deviating at all, created questions in Ji-woo’s heart and mind as they faced each other head-on.