Rising Shards

Side Fangs #140: “Cat Governor (Part 1)”



“If we were all cats, who would be the governor?” Kalei asked.

The kind of question that only comes up when a bunch of tired folks are hours into a study session. We had a fairly full table at the library, with my usual core four group of myself, Zeta, Kalei, and Lillia joined by Aira, the Matora sisters, Marmalade, Michi, and Roux. We were in one of the social areas, so we weren’t being shushed for being chatty.

“Governor?” I asked, not fully on Kalei’s wavelength. I was busy doodling something or writing a little message in my notebook, sliding it over to Zeta, then getting a cute doodle or message back. She had just drawn us holding hands, which made me wish we were on a date rather than studying.

“Like you know, a colony of cats, they gotta have a governor.” Kalei explained.

“Ko, headphones in.” Lillia commanded.

“Huh?” Ko said.

“You’re going to get too distracted. Headphones in. Load the third study playlist I curated for you.” Lillia said.

“I’m kind of surprised Ko takes orders so well…” Zeta said.

“I think she’s into it.” Kalei said. “But back to my question.”

Lillia was somehow able to tune us out.

“Zeta has a cute cat tail, and we’ve established with the pet food challenge that she’s very cat, so I think she’d be the governor.” I said.

“Awww!” Zeta said.

“I can’t see cat Zeta having the feline leadership capabilities that would be required of governor,” Kalei said. “She’d have to not only manage the cats of our class, but all the others too.”

“I think we need to make the rules of this cat society clearer before we vote,” Aira said. “Are you talking just this table? Or our entire grade?”

“Maybe the entire school,” Kalei said. “Each class, or thereabouts, is a clan. Teachers and such are their own group. So mayhaps each clan would have a governor of their own. Then Zates might be in the running.”

“And all cats?” I asked.

“All cats.” Kalei said. “That’s vital. Us all being cats puts a new spin on things. I’m talking climbing fences, hunting mice, the works. No powers, just cats.”

“I think among those of us present…” Aira pondered. “Lillia seems almost too obvious an answer.”

“She does have that leader thing going.” Kalei said.

Lillia did her best to continue ignoring us, not wanting to be roped into whatever this was.

“I think you would be good in the role,” Marmalade said. “If this is an elected position, you have my vote.”

“Why thank you!” Kalei said. “That is one vote for cat governor Kalei, the first of many. Any other candidates?”

“I’m gonna throw a curveball and say…me.” Roux said. “I think my powers would increase greatly, making me an easy candidate for cat governor.”

“I just said no powers!” Kalei said.

“My cat powers! Everyone has powers! Powers are like abilities! I could probably purr really loudly.” Roux said.

“MaiMai purrs really loudly,” Iris said. “And she’s literally a cat Kanibari. Maia has my vote.”

“I don’t wanna be governor,” Maia said. “I’d be like. Battle strategist.”

“Ohhhh, and I’d be your right hand girlie, who does your paperwork and stuff.” Iris said.

“You sure dream big, huh?” Kalei said.

“Actually, just cut me from the listing entirely,” Maia said. “I have way too much of an advantage in the cat department.”

“True,” Kalei said. “I should probably cut Zates too for having a cat tail, and I’d love to cut Roux, but I know they’d turn up the annoying factor if I did.”

“You are correct.” Roux said.

“So what are the jobs here for this cat clan?” Zeta asked. “We have governor, battle strategist…”

“And battle strategist’s assistant!” Iris added.

“Let’s focus on the top role for now,” Kalei said. “I think I’d be a kickass cat clan governor.”

“I think we should vote.” Zeta said.

So we started making ballots for our cat election. As well as cat ears with paper, tape, and pipe cleaners for those of us without actual catlike ears.

“The key factors I’m thinking are protection against rival clans, good management, and sharpest claws.” Kalei said.

“And cutest.” Zeta said. “Picturing who amongst us is the cutest cat is important to my vote.”

“So we can throw you and Oka’s votes away because yours will just be for each other.” Kalei said.

“This is not a fair election if you’re gonna publicly denounce your rivals like this!” I said.

“Fine, fine. But if you two do vote for each other I won’t be surprised.” Kalei said.

“I’m gonna have a hard time voting on cuteness factor, because Maia’s so easy to picture as a cute cat.” Iris said.

“I already said I’m not in the running,” Maia said.

“I know, but I still would want to vote for you!” Iris said.

“Let’s just strike cuteness as a factor then,” Kalei said.

“No!” Zeta said. I gently patted her hand to comfort her political defeat.

I waved excitedly as Zeta’s older sister stopped by to check on us. I don’t know if she heard Zeta exclaiming her despair and wanted to check up on her little sister, or if she just sensed that her presence was required, but either way I was glad she stopped by.

“How’s the studying coming?” Stella asked.

“Stella, this is important,” Zeta said. “If we were all cats, who would be the governor?”

“Just you lot, or are adults like me in this as well?” Stella asked.

“You have your own clan,” Kalei said.

“Unfortunately, Principal Penteldtam is probably your clan governor,” I said.

“You’d have my vote, at least.” Zeta said. “But I think we can only vote within our own cat clans. You’d give me an endorsement as cat governor of this table though, right?”

“Hmmm.” Stella’s expression said she didn’t think Zeta should be cat governor.

“You’d give me an endorsement as cat governor of this table though, right?” Zeta asked more hopefully.

“This endorsement could swing the election,” Kalei said. “A cat elder endorsing Kalei Koridia, leading to her clean sweep, decimating her opponents.”

“Don’t call me an elder,” Stella said.

“If you’re not gonna give me the endorsement, at least give it to Oka,” Zeta said. “We need another power player to rise up against Kalei.”

“Sure, Oka has my endorsement for cat governor.” Stella said.

“Yay!” Zeta said.

“I will do my best to live up to the honor you’ve bestowed upon me.” I said.

“I’m gonna join team Oka,” Michi said, getting out their sketchbook. “I’ll start making campaign signs.”


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