“Codename? Chickadee” (48.5)
I had an upset tummy the night before finals started. I hoped I could just sleep through it, but after tossing and turning for a few hours, I found myself staring upwards, too sleepy to move but too awake to fall back asleep. Kalei and Marmalade were asleep. So my mind wandered in worry about the next day.
I pictured myself failing my finals. It would be my luck to flub the semester at the finish line. What would happen then? Would I be shipped off to Wildfire Hearts immediately? Or would I get another chance with remedial classes or something? Or would Wildfire Hearts not even be in the equation with all the drama there? Maybe I’d just end up going to a different class in the same campus. Being without Oka and Kalei and Lillia and all my other friends in class would make me miserable, though. And what if I ended up on the Wildfire Hearts side of things and Jeans showed up? Or Ovie got over her wolf-ness and wanted more fights with me? Both of those could happen on the Rising Shards side of things, but they were much more likely to happen at Wildfire Hearts.
If I was at home, I’d probably find Stella and cry my eyes out while she consoled me. But it was so late I didn’t know if she’d be up for a late-night worry call. It was comforting knowing she wasn’t as far now as she was when I started at Rising Shards.
If Oka was still my roommate, she’d probably wake up and say something really comforting. But she was a few rooms away now. I could risk getting in trouble to go see her, but I didn’t want to ruin her sleep.
I pressed my thumb to the necklace we made on our last mall date, our first big date. I wonder if she could feel that I was holding mine.
I’d still find a way to see her if I failed. And everyone else, too. It wouldn’t be the worst thing, I supposed. It still terrified me and made my upset tummy feel worse to think about, but I’d manage. I hoped if I did fail, that Tik would still ask me to help. I completely failed with my first attempt there, but in my tummy ache-y sleepiness, I thought about how cool it would be if I did help out. And learned about my family. Maybe Tik’s friend River was related to me. It was possible, right? She introduced herself as River Kathron. Maybe I had one cool blood related family member outside of Stella. Or I’d find out that River was just as rotten as my parents. But at least I’d know, then. It would be easier to help Tik if I passed.
A lot of things would be easier if I passed my classes. It was obvious, but to my half-asleep brain it felt like an epiphany. I’d be able to keep seeing Oka easily, hang out with all my friends, and so much more. Sure, there would be new challenges at Rising Shards, and next semester Wildfire Hearts was going to be a huge presence no matter what I did.
I sat up and turned around to look at the starry sky, moonlight brightening the room. The first day I stood in this room, I watched the sun set over the beach outside. I got a huge nosebleed right after, too. In spite of that, it was still a cherished memory. I vowed to myself that I would have many more happy memories looking out at that beach as a big wave sloshed over the shoreline.