Rising Shards

A week somewhat away from Stella didn’t sound ideal, but I did think it would do us all some good to recharge.

“I’m gonna really miss it.” Stella said, right before she left for her apartment. She stared longingly at our bed, and her lip bite made me think she wasn’t just talking about cuddles.

“Are you gonna miss fucking me that badly not having it for just a few days?” I asked.

“Um…yes?” Stella said.

“We could sneak some quick ones in there, you know.” I said. “Or burn our energy moving boxes and furniture around and junk here. And then when the week’s done, we can have a nice time after all the buildup.”

Stella raised her eyebrows. “And let out some pent-up feelings, oooh. I like that.”

The apartment felt intensely quiet when Stella was gone. She was still going to be stopping by at least daily to move stuff from her old place to her new one, but the priority was obviously and understandably going to be on taking care of baby sister.

Not much happened during the week. Classwork was dull because half our students were at home. The ones still there were mad they didn’t get a week off, so I just played movies all week to give them some kind of treat. After class, Stella would stop by for a bit, and I’d help her unpack boxes. She only stayed for an hour or so each time because she didn’t want to leave Zeta alone for very long after what she went through.

At one point when Stella was over, I got a call from Zeta. I held my phone up to see Stel’s reaction, which was maybe a bit mean because she looked like I had shown her a horror movie jump scare.

“Wait, why’s she calling?” Stella asked. “Does she know you’re here? Does she know I’m here? Is this about—"

“Relax, it’s OK,” I said. “I’m sure it’s just about her latest harrowing adventure.”

I went into my office to take the call, because Stella would try to listen in. I assumed Zeta would be able to sense that and would not be too pleased at her big sister being nosy. And then she’d start questioning why Stella was with me, and maybe piece things together before Stella was ready to tell her. Zeta did just want to vent about her latest harrowing adventure, and I did my best to let her talk it out and try to give her any advice I could.

Stella waited for me with that cute pout after I finished the call.

“She was just worried about all the stuff that went down on Fang Moon Web,” I said.

“How’s she doing? I mean, I know it was rough on her.”

“She had some weird void things she was thinking about,” I said. “I did my best because as you’re well aware, weird void things can be hard to explain.”

“Right,” Stella said. “Glad we have you to consult then.”

“Heh,” I chuckled at the verbal head pat. “You know, though, she’s pretty funny.”

“Why’s that?” Stella asked.

“At one point during the call she decided she had to very firmly announce that she was not into boys.” I said.

Stella grinned. “Yep, very Zeta. She can be hilarious, especially when she’s not trying to be.”

The Zeta call cut my Stella visit short as she wanted to get back after that, but I got to see her smile and she said I’m a good consultant for her family, which as a Cani doctor and teacher who prides myself on her work is a very good compliment.

I still felt a bit empty after Stella left. Empty enough that despite getting some lazy game playing and even lazier show watching in, I decided I wanted to sit on my back porch. Which wasn’t much of a porch, just some steps. It was a brisk fall night, and I remembered as I stared at the clouds above that it was garbage night, so I grabbed the bin and rolled it to its proper spot. As I walked barefoot and breathed in chilly night air, I decided it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to let Stella know I was feeling lonely.

I got into bed and started typing. “Hey, I don’t know if this is super cheesy—”

Deleted that one.

“Wouldn’t ya know it, I’m missing you hardcores right now oofta wowie.”

Deleted that one and tried to wipe it from my memory immediately.

“Hey Stel, it was nice to see you even for a little bit today. The bed feels empty without you, though…(I’m really missing you if that isn’t clear.”

Stella texted back almost instantly.

“Evy!!!! Oh my god I miss you too!!! I was just going to text you!”

I liked us being on the same wavelength. “I was just out getting the garbage, and it made me feel really contemplative. And that contemplation was mostly missing you lots.” I would never type something like ‘missing you lots’ to anyone I was with prior, Caya for example would have made fun of me endlessly, but I was feeling super emotional about Stella at the moment, so it slipped through.

“Awww,” Stella texted back. “On the way home, I was thinking about you too. I maybe could have stayed a bit longer…”

“No, don’t worry about that, Zeta’s priority!”

“Thank you,” Stella said. “It searously means the world to me to read that from you.”

“Searously?”

“Oh my god, why did I type that LMAO EVY DON’T MAKE FUN OF MY SPELLING I’M A GOOD SPELLER.”

“I was just confused not trying to make fun of you!”

“I don’t know why spell check didn’t fix that!”

For a while, we just chatted about nothing in particular. Our days, the weather, work, home, that sort of thing, but it never felt forced or like boring small talk. My empty feeling left me as we talked; I felt like a chocolate shell that just needed to be filled with the right candy center, when just a bit earlier I felt like a hollow candy that would easily crack and break, with Stella I was like a nice hearty chocolate filled with the tastiest peanut butter imaginable.