Reincarnated as a Phoenix

---Even though I’m now using my sister’s laptop, things hit a breaking point last week so that’s why nothing was posted. If you’ve been following this story long enough, you’ll know I can’t handle stress. Already learnt a long time ago, writing while I’m not feeling it isn't a great idea. Feeling a tad better now so lets see if we can have a good week.

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“So Asmodeus, we’ve already done five out of seven? Talk about unexpected much, we’re basically speed running this!

On the way to pillar number six after reuniting with the fallen brethren, or more specifically some of the Gods and Goddess we lost in that last minefield, I’m making small talk because what else can I really do to pass the time? The only amount of intimacy I can get while traversing the land of the portals is holding hands with Petra so I’m needing something to pass the time.

Right now, we’re in an abandoned dungeon looking corridor of sorts. The amount of wasted space these Gods use, and then abandon is crazy really. I could imagine getting lost is so easy that suicide is the only option just so you can get back to somewhere more familiar. Not like that’s an option for the angels who have already been spawn trapped though.

(Asmodeus) “Heh, famous last words sister. The first few were easier because we’ve been powering through them with no resistance”

(Artemis) “Erk… and yet, you decided to send that insane Loki to rat us out!? Make shit make sense!”

(Uriel) “Calm it Artemis. Although I can’t understand the reason nor completely a fan of his company, he does know what he’s doing”

(Petra) “Heh, disliking Asmodeus is basically a mood me and Ikarus have permanently by this point. You get used to it”

(Aphrodite) “How anyone could dislike a creature made from flesh and blood is astonishing to me! Everyone is perfect in their own special way”

Oh right, should probably mention we’re missing Hermes, Dionysus and Thanatos because they’ve been assigned a different task. I’m not sure why’s Asmodeus has split our group like this so, is it weird that he’s the only guy among us? I might have to bring Brooklyn out just so we have some more diversity around.

“I’m not sure why you’re even using brother Loki in this plan. All of us learnt long ago, he’s useless”

I should also add, Aphrodite isn’t the only Goddess of love travelling with us right now. Freyja, fresh after being killed by Zeus and the rest of the Ragnarök gang is travelling alongside us because… she’s also part of the rebellion? Don’t know, don’t really care. This might as well be the demon’s show after all.

Why I’m not wanting to rip out her hair you ask? Well, you see… she’s not even looking towards me and Petra. It’s almost as if she’s gone off the idea of wanting to mate with us already so I’m content with her existence. The second she eyes up Petra’s ample bosom or booty though, I promise I’ll rip out her hair!

“Heh, just pay it no mind for now, you Ragnarök lot really should give him more credit. Whether Zeus is informed or not makes no difference right now, just say it was my own personal touch on this whole affair”

‘So, he just wanted to irritate Zeus? Eh, can’t say I blame him that much really’

Continuing to traverse the dungeon like hallways, the small talk about lore continues and we still follow Asmodeus into the depths of despair! You can already tell my attention span is starting to struggle already. Portal traversing is boring as hell.

“You’ll all have to learn that sharing is caring doesn’t exist with everyone’s favourite demonic dickhead. Ya know Asmodeus, you still haven’t explained what the pillars actually are? Like… how they came into existence for example? That should be fine to say”

He’s always going to be as vague as possible but since I’ve worded it in a way that makes it sound less important, he may just share some info on this.

“Heh, the young God was onto something sister when he mentioned the titans and stabilization. They even have ties to gigantomachy if you look back far enough”

“Fair enough… hang on. Didn’t we find some smaller pillars back in the mine Petra?”

Back when we first unlocked aspect of gigantomachy long ago, killing that giant inside our gold mine. Albeit, they were much smaller than the ones we’re currently dealing with, I remember there being quite a few of them.

There were twelve of them arranged in a circle so I’m finding it pretty neat it that it might connect to this. Petra herself doesn’t seem to remember but the miners did destroy them when the gold mine first came into use. They were no longer indestructible when the giant was put to rest, they basically had a plot protection ability of their own during that battle.

Anyways, moving on from the endless hallway, we finally get to where we need to go. No more boring empty dungeons for the win! I know it’s abandoned and all but there’s absolutely nothing in these hallways other than dust and cobwebs. Regardless, we’re now at the portal.

“Heh, finally here everyone. Let’s all get enter an-”

“Hold up one sec Asmodeus. Before we enter… I’ve got to ask you this Freyja. Why is it you’ve gone off my wife all of a sudden?”

Look, I don’t want her to target the wife, just the fact she doesn’t seem interested in her anymore is baffling to me. I don’t care that Petra facepalms to this question, I’m in tune with all the imagery readers in my head so they must know!

“I do understand the concept of no Ikarus. Besides, I’ve now got my sights get on someone much more suitable now… greetings huntress. How is my love doing on this fine and relaxing day?”

Switching it on, the Goddess Freyja targets one of us, takes a knee and even pulls out a freaking rose! She’s a freaking hopeless romantic, that much is strikingly obvious now.

“E-Erk… not r-right now Freyja!”

“Was that a no, my love?”

“I-It wasn’t… just f-fuck off and get up a-already!”

Unexpectedly, the reaction from the wild Artemis results in her shaking and stuttering. I guess she’s really, really bad with flirting. Even flustered, she still can’t help but curse like an edgy teenager hellbent on ending the world.

“And this is why you’ll die a virgin old friend”

“D-Don’t you be s-starting as well Uriel! This i-isn’t the time or p-place for this shit!”

Wanting to move on from this crazy God stuff but at the same time wanting to join in, I’m slightly confused on Freyja’s tastes. I know strength can be attractive but going from Petra to Artemis? There’s having a type and then there’s scraping the bottom of the barrel. Hey, my wife is perfect in my own eyes so anyone after is going to be a downgrade.

“You know… why is it you and Aphrodite aren’t together? Both being related to love, it seems like a match in heaven, no?”

…

That gets a surprisingly timid reaction out of both of them when all that’s in store is blushing. Don’t you be telling me both of these Goddesses are tsunderes as well!

“We… kinda had a fling for a week or so, until the woman wore me out. Even the most perverse of minds couldn’t keep up with Aphrodite”

“Hehe, what’s wrong with needing love five times a day? I was holding myself back for that entire week, my lovely Freyja”

‘Aphrodite needs to hump at least five times a day!?! Okay, guess the wincest lover also is a nymphomaniac. Gotcha…’

And of course, Petra can’t help but wink to me after hearing what other Gods get up to. She’s such a child at times.

“Heh, Ikarus, you thin-”

“No Petra, this isn’t something to tease or joke about. Just because the Goddess’s like to get sum doesn’t mean we need to up our game!”

“Heh, bad Ikarus. Pooh…”

Before the wife had the chance to say anything, I’m not allowing such filth to pervert our innocence! It may already be long gone but doing the deed over five times a day? That might actually kill me!

‘When the hell does Petra pout like that!?! She so put that on… still makes it sound adorable though’

Now, finally moving on to the actual freaking pillar that needs to be destroyed! We all enter the portal and arrive… in the Underworld? Or more specifically, the fiery pit of Tartarus, except it’s a lot more blackened in this region and has an imitation of a sun burning in the hellish grey sky.

Before I even get the chance to ask, Asmodeus knows instantly the questioning look on my face.

“Heh, it isn’t the same place sister. Back when they were on speaking terms, the God of the dead had his own little place up here that he destroyed out of sheer anger from the betrayal. Regardless, we’ve arrived right where we need to”

Should also point out the spiky pillar right ahead of us that might as well be giving us a handshake. That has to be the sixth pillar.

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“Well then, what are we waitin-… fuck!”

Artemis runs ahead and takes the lead, only to find a gigantic spike flies down from the pillar piercing right through her. Thankfully, the gore levels aren’t as bad as the minefield episode we had but she is still impaled unfortunately.

“Heh, should I have mentioned the fact this place is booby trapped to hell and back? It’s a good thing we’re just out of range over here”

“Artemis my love, stay and I’ll come save yo-… damn. That isn’t worth the pain”

“F-Fuck this shit, I’m outta h-here!”

Freyja, clearly blinded by what she perceives as love runs to where the fallen Artemis is struggling, only to find her lover has committed sudoku and a spear pierces the Ragnarök god’s torso as well. We’ll be seeing them again later on.

‘A love story as tragic as a time itself. This squad we’ve got is awfully suicidal… get it? Shitty game, pretty meh films’

“We’re not going to have to be bait again, are we? Dying again really isn’t fun”

“Heh, relax, Olympian Goddess of love. The way around just involves going up high and quick enough. Thankfully, we have two beasts perfect for such a role”

Looking and sinisterly grinning towards us lovebirds, I’d almost want to smack him for referring to us as beasts… if I disagreed with him. He said it like it was a compliment.

Taking the hint, me and Petra switch forms and provide air transport for everyone. Except, I’m not happy with how things are lining up…

“Hold up, we’re switching around. I can take the pervert and the dickhead easily enough… I’m not taking the angel though”

I’m still betting on Uriel being Leone so the idea of having her up on my back once again is PTSD inducing. I jest but I could’ve taken everyone if I had used dragon form instead, I’m still holding a slight grudge even if this woman doesn’t remember any of it.

It’s also funny how both Aphrodite and Asmodeus smile from being insulted, it’s boring when they don’t care either way. Where’s the angry or flustered reaction at? I swear I’m turning into my wife with things like this… and I miss Zeki as well now.

“Heh, before we set off sister and dark one, you might want to fly fast and as high as possible. Get directly above it and that should be the safe zone”

“Fly fast and up, got it. Might want to grab a handful of feathers then… let’s go!”

Taking the lead carrying two while the wife carries one, I flap my wings as fast as possible soaring into the sky as Petra swiftly follows me behind. I’d be getting self-consciousness on her seeing my fat arse if freaking spikes weren’t flying towards me!

Swerving and dodging, both of us have to keep fully focused otherwise we’re going to end up skewered. Seriously though, the spikes flying past us makes me feel like we’re fighter pilots behind enemy lines, avoiding the anti-air at all costs!

Thankfully, we’re both just quick enough to get past the barrage of attacks and find once we’re high enough, the spikes can no longer be directed past a certain angle. Funny how we apparently couldn’t do this back at Apollo’s pillar, maybe his anti-air fires quicker?

“Ya know… remind me Asmodeus why I didn’t just launch a nuke from where we arrived”

The thought of just nuking it from a distance would’ve been safer to try, right? Sure, we both got out of that only losing a feather or two… oh shit. And a slight scratch on my arse, but we’re both golden.

“Heh, there’s a reason for everything sister. Your devastation attacks should work better from above anyways. When you’re ready, keep it unrestricted if possible”

Continuing our duty flying closer to the pillar and trying my best not to tip the demon of vagueness off, we get right to the tip of it and both of us find a couple of large spikes to perch on. As much as we’re chubby as hell when it comes to flying creatures, us phoenixes definitely have an agility that can’t be beat.

‘Aesa, guess this is this hint to get working. The cooldown timer for supernova should be done now, right?’

[<Aesa is readying the orb at 100% now… just so you know, Aesa hates demonic dickhead guiding our arsenal like this>]

‘Ah, you’re preaching to the choir sister…’

“…I’d recommend closing your eyes and covering your ears everyone. It can ring a bit…”

Getting the orb of supernova, fully charged and almost looking unstable, I causally drop it below us without a care in the world and a smile on my face. Shit’s about to go bang…

Surprisingly when the chain reaction goes off, the insane power of the explosion remains the same, but the entire world begins to shake and I’m sure I just saw a crack briefly appear in my FOV. I’m thinking that literally shook the core of this world if cracks can appear like that, guess a hundred percent would do that to any place where the land is contained.

(Uriel) “So much power… the possibility of taking down Zeus may actually be a reality”

(Aphrodite) “It’s so pretty! The colours I mean, the explosion was kinda scary”

Both the remaining Goddesses with us seem awestruck after seeing my handiwork, not like I even care about showing off though. Actually, I care a little, only for Petra’s ocean blue eyes though.

Once the embers and colours from supernova fade, what follows up is something strange. The pillar has turned to rubble surrounded by a dark and gloomy ocean where the crater should’ve formed. Sure, the fires still burn within this place, the terrain definitely has been shaped, but not as much as you’d expect from the kill all attack.

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“That’s it? I supernova it and there’s no boss?”

“Heh, are you fixated on tempting fate sister? Just give it a minute to wake up and it’ll come out”

…

Waiting more than a minute, absolutely nothing happens even when us lovebirds land and everyone gets prepared for a fight. Where’s the minotaur like boss or gorgon which my parents fought?

Bizarrely enough, the longer we stand here looking over this vast ocean, Asmodeus seems to be getting more stressed by the minute. Something’s gone terribly wrong if we’re not fighting today… and no amount of my red flagging is going to change this now.

“That’s… really bad. Guess we were getting too lucky with everything going on, it’s a kick back to reality really”

For just a split second, Asmodeus aura turns the darkest of blacks when he reveals we might be screwed. This seems different to the times an unpredicted future turned up, he knows what the issue is.

“Asmodeus, don’t even think about being vague and get to the point! Why is this a bad thing? Getting to skip a boss fight…is this really bad?”

I’m not the only one who seems concerned, the Goddesses still alive with us are slightly concerned with only Petra understanding the true weight of what’s going on. If Asmodeus pauses when it comes to the future stuff, you know there may be a problem.

“Not exactly sister. It just means it’s inevitable this journey will result in some unpreventable casualties, not that it’s incompletable. It’s a shame really… the creature that should’ve been in that pillar will be much more powerful when we come across it next…”

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“So, what’s the deal next? We head to the last pillar asap?”

(Petra) “Heh, seems that way Ikarus. Although, it looks like something else might be on Asmodeus’s mind”

(Aphrodite) “We could take a nap quickly and all hug till we pass out? That would be really sweet!”

(Uriel) “With the stories I’ve heard Aphrodite… it’s never just hugging with you”

Back at the rebel HQ right where I belong, on Petra’s lap of course, we’re yet to regroup with our fallen Goddesses but some signs remain around here. By that, I mean Artemis has set up a hundred of those curse talisman things while we were out. All have the name Freyja written on them hanging up by the cellar stairway. Never heard of them being a thing in this world but Freyja hasn’t returned so maybe they work? Unless she’s out stalking her right now.

Don’t ask what we were supposed to fight back then because Mr Vague refuses to share. He seems to be pondering on something else now so I guess we’ll just have to figure it out when we come across it next…

“Not right now sister. Any second now, someone should be coming down those stairs…”

…

And like last time, nothing happens even after a good few minutes of waiting. Please don’t tell me we’ve somehow right fucked up the future now?

“Think your timing is a little o- heh. Guess I stand corrected”

As Petra speaks, the wild Artemis returns from her death with a face of sheer anger. This has to be unrelated to Freyja as sheds be blushing if it was the case.

“All you lot, follow me this instant! We’ve got a fucking big problem…”

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‘What…the hell?’

Arriving at the location Artemis wanted us to go, a familiar face stands alongside Zeus, making me angry and sad at the same time. This fucker may have actually went through with his threat…

‘What the hell is Ariza doing up here…’