Reincarnated as a Phoenix

---Good news everyone! My laptop is still buggered but I'm borrowing my sister's for a while so content shall continue! (If you want a little tip, don't buy MSI laptops lol. I guess 4 years isn't terrible for a GPU fan.)

__________

(Temporary Perspective Change)

“Denver, it appears I may finally have found someth-… really brother? Have you no shame?”

Arriving in my bedchambers, sister Athena greets me with distaste in her eyes when it comes to her seeing the company I’m keeping. I see no problem with this whatsoever, a couple of dwarven ladies to warm these growing bones.

----------

---AI is offensive to bearded ladies lol. Just imagine he’s alongside these two but they have the bushiest of beards (And the window is fake cave lighting)

----------

“They’re just here to keep me company sister… I’m fully aware of this body’s age so don’t be looking at me like that!”

‘She’ll never understand the misery of not being able to grow a beard inside a kingdom where even the women can. I swear this child’s body is cursed at times’

Taking a few minutes to help my lovelies find their belongings and leave, get my clothes on and follow Athena to my study, I’m now ready to go albeit slightly disinterested after not being able to finish that grooming session that was going on… by grooming, I mean combing their beards of course.

“Back to being professional… Hephaestus. I’ve may have found a way to find Apollo”

“That’s fantastic, isn’t it? Why the gloomy face though?”

“You haven’t forgotten our main intention down here, have you Hephaestus? We’ve already done enough harm by the phoenixes… involving two random women in this battle defeat the point”

It confuses me a little why my sister, the ex-Goddess of wisdom seems a little down but then again, she’s never been able to differentiate from work and pleasure. I’m not even sure what the problem is considering I was only admiring their beards, honest! I sill fail to see the problem.

You see, most of my work down here in the first place was to get control of that volcano. Since our terrible father can’t get a hold of his go to method of destroying this place now, it’s makes things way more complicated.

Why Apollo is massively important to any side comes down to the fact he is a hoarder when it comes to powerful artefacts. No exaggeration when I say finding him could literally tip the scale of an impossible fight. I would know because I made most of his toys myself!

“Sister, I promise you, my motivations aren’t misguided. Now, can we get to the point? Where is Apollo?”

“That’s the thing, I have a rough estimate… take a look at this”

Placing a map on the table and a device on top that looks similar to a pen but in actual fact was one of Apollo’s earliest creations, a bow that unfolds open, a location in particular lights up that is a huge pain in the ass. This really isn’t great…

“This has to have another meaning, right sister? It’s not something like… the emperor will guide us to where Apollo is?”

“No Hephaestus, this locater is saying he’s in the capital itself. How we find him, you may have to create something that picks him out directly”

“*Sighhh*… that’s what I was worried about. I’ll admit, I’m sceptical… a coincidence this big seems too easy”

This is problematic even for both of us. The capital is one of, if not the most populated city on this planet. This map we have here is just a representation of what Athena is capable of so it’s not as simple as just using a map of the city and finding him that way. It may take me years to create something we can use to precisely find where he’s hiding.

“This is coming from someone who got lucky incarnating down here and on this… you’re unsure? I was supposed to be the logical one and you the lucky one brother”

“Fair point, even if technically that was Tyche herself… when did you start cracking jokes anyways?”

Considering what she said was in fact a joke, she must’ve spent way too much time around the dwarves to be doing something like that. I’d like it if it wasn’t for the fact she has always been so boring when it comes to anything whimsical.

“Clearly, you’ve spent too much time being princess to this kingdom already… are we even sure he’s conscious though?”

There are multiple ways a God can enter these lands down below and one of them is completely losing all memories, only to regain them when you return. Some Gods call it the true mortal experience but if you ever think I’m losing the love of my volcano, beards and smithing, you’re crazy!

“It’s likely, already have a solution in mind for that. For now, please forge something that can help, then we’ll head to the empire when ready…”

__________

(Temporary Perspective Change)

“I’m still unsure on something… why is it we have a demonic maid guiding us?”

“Dermakvar, are we sure she’s a demon? Excluding the perfumes, her scent isn’t natural”

“Thought the same dear, she smells like a God but looks like that. Maybe she’s going through a stage like little one?”

And so, it’s time for everyone’s favourite God and somewhat important dragons to get a little screen time! If only everyone weren’t so mean to me things would so much rosier! Really should have a long call with Ariza someday, she’s just too nice for her own good really. Also nearly got my next batch sorted so that’ll last her for several years if she’s good… although, to just waste the batch on that brother of hers is tempting as well.

“Heya dragons! I’m Loki and I’ll have you know I’m very important to Ragnarök! Without me, they’d all have been wiped out ages ago! The horns are just a fashion statement really, the dress is my working attire!”

Both of the dragons look at me like I’m making shit up! Boo… this really does feel like home considering how I’m always getting treated.

“You’re part of Ragnarök? And you purposely choose that appearance?”

“Dermakvar, just shut it and let’s do our role. Asmodeus wanted us to take down another pillar. You do know the way Loki, right?”

“That I do! Just keep following me through these portal cycles and we’ll be there in a jiffy! This should be the last entrance, I swear”

Oh yes, it’s time to guide them to the magical pillars that need to be destroyed…  that even I have no idea on! These two seem really doubtful of my sense of direction but I’m sure it’s just right this corner… or was it the next left?

By the sounds of it, the pillar I’m supposed to take them to is the one Poseidon abandoned long ago because he grew tired of his own ocean. I shit you not, he created his own aquatic landscape, then got bored with it once he explored the entire thing.

We’ve already travelled through six portals to get to this abandoned part of Olympus and the last is at the bottom of this quarry, the only reason I know of this place is that there’s a certain type of clam here that Hera has to have with her wine. That miserable bitch is gonna work me to death at this rate! At least this is a nice change up, I suppose.

“And… we’re here! See? I was right about the sea being here”

<Hmph… the God is going on your back darling>

<Sure sure…>

Getting through the final portal, the dragons change into a more natural form when the endless ocean presents us all. Guess I’m getting a lift then, bet my brothers have never ridden a dragon before! Maybe a much smaller one would be good to start but why not ride the dragon who is considered the harbinger of death?

Getting aboard the dragon straight out of legend Kellearzar, we glide along for a little while, until the island and the pillar come into range. A small and subtle grin grows on the black dragon’s face when he observes the thing close up.

‘Tis a really chunky boy, this one’

----------

----------

<Can I do the honours darling? I wouldn’t want your immaculate body to get scarred doing something like this… and the fake demon might get hurt as well>

<*Sigh*… don’t be fake complimenting me Dermak when we both know you want to destroy the big and imposing tower>

<I would never fake compliment you dear… this could be really fun though>

“You two… I really don’t think that’s a great idea…”

Just feeling the immense power coming off that thing, my nerves start to shoot sky high as the dragon Dermakvar begins to fly off, clearly wanting to make a great distance between himself and the pillar. What even is it with men wanting to destroy things!? I just don’t get it… even if I was a dude at some point in time.

Getting to full speed, then crashing straight into it with a force that literally shakes the world, the pillar somehow still stands tall except now with a gaping crack down the centre of it. The dragon looks surprisingly happy despite the fact he just got stopped by an unstoppable wall.

<Oof! That’s as dense as a dungeon… time for round two>

Going for another cycle around while his partner shakes her head towards him, power starts to leak out of the pillar making me even more unsure. There’s something terrifying buried inside all that marble, I just know it…

This time around, he doesn’t get stopped in the slightest and the entire structure begins to crumble all around us, revealing what was hiding inside as he flies through the rubble. Shittttt…

“Oh shit! Look what you two have done!”

It’s that freaking gorgon snake head woman! I forget her name but those Olympians were terrified of her for a time… Me-… Meda- something? Medusa! I swear that was the gorgon’s name!

----------

----------

This was some juicy gossip that even spread to Ragnarök when it first happened.    The gist of it involved the woman Medusa doing something unforgivable that caused even the logical Goddess Athena to snap and place a curse on her, hence the horrible flocks of snakes she has for hair.

Some say it was because she decided to mate with Poseidon in one of Athena’s holy temples. Personally, I think there was more to it because if you’ve ever spoken to Athena, she doesn’t seem the type to hold a grudge unless it’s for a really bad reason. Maybe she was selling her services in the temple and the curse of hideousness was to stop the prostitution? That’s my theory anyway! Not sure on why she can shoot lasers or why she’s even still alive though…

‘Shouldn’t she be dead already though? Ah, enough with that Loki doki, she’s attacking us!’

<Dermakvar!>

<Relax darling, as if that beam could do anything to our scales>

The gorgon and her snakes now awakened do something somewhat expected, shooting multiple lasers from their eyes towards us in attempt to turn us to stone…

Getting in the way of me and his partner, the dragon Dermakvar takes the full weight of the impact not allowing us to get hurt. I’d say it would be a really romantic tale… if, he actually turned to stone. He seems to be fine apart from a few bumps and scrapes.

“Hold up, how the heck are you fine? That’s supposed to turn people to stone!

This was another reason why this gossip got so big. She somehow got down into the human worlds and started wreaking havoc turning people to stone down there. If it wasn’t for a certain Perseus cutting her head off, she’d still be doing her thing.

<Hmph, haven’t got the patience to explain this to you>

<I’ll explain it then since Dermak refuses to acknowledge the similarity. Since we’re somewhat similar to reptiles, our blood may be resistant? I think that’s the case anyhow… at least it makes sense why Asmodeus wanted us to come here now>

Oh right, lizards, snakes and dragons are somewhat similar in biology so that must be the reason why her attacks do nothing to them! I assume gorgons are in the same family so they naturally have some resistance to each other’s venom? I’d compare it so making antivenom but I’m not sure if the comparison works.

Now, the dragons make sure to get their revenge for the gorgon’s attack and release their full anger! Spewing fire and poison all over the island turning the place into a messy nightmare, that should kill any foe…

Except, when visibility returns, the woman stands still like a statue to the dragons attacks and seems to be mostly unaffected from the combining of the poison and the fire. I’m doubtful she can move but she definitely can take magic like a champ.

<Drats… do you have anything that may help Loki? She’s surprisingly tough so we could be here a while>

<Relax darling, I’ve got this… *crack*. Okay… maybe I don’t>

Trying to snap the woman in half only to hurt his jaw trying to bite down on her, clearly the gorgon has some sort of resistance to fire, poison and being crushed apparently! I guess she might also be made of stone as well.

In response, Medusa shoots another laser at Dermakvar. Unlike the last attack, this one actually causes a few of his scales on the affected area to turn grey like stone, he seems fine but it might be best to speed this up. Imagine if that attack were to land around the genital area, I may have my tastes but pissing off a dragon is a terrible idea! Dragons have surprisingly small genitals considering, they definitely aren’t in proportion compared to-… focus Loki!

“Hmm… would acid work? Take a few of these and give them a throw, they’ll be sure to pack a punch, surely!”

Unlike most Gods, I put my power into alchemy and this one was an experiment based on how acid rains works. I’ve tested it and I’ve seen it melt through marble, maybe this isn’t so far past the line? Was also going to use this in a prank but realized burning skin is not funny at all.

Anyways, opening up my storage and passing a dozen potions of melting flesh to the dragons, the world ender seems unimpressed with while the ancient one starts to get excited.

<These potions radiate sinister energy. Just where did you get these Loki?>

“I made them, I’ll have you know. They’re not that evil really!”

<He he he… I’m starting to like this fake demon if you’re carrying stuff like this. Let’s get going darling>

Back to attacking formation, the gorgon begins to charge up another laser while both the dragons begin to launch the vial size pots of acid. I nearly chuckle seeing the dragons throwing my tiny things with their gigantic paws, a good thing I didn’t when the alchemy come into full effect…

“SCRREEETTTTTCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!”

As soon as a couple of the potions land, the woman begins to scream as the acid begins to melt her stony cursed skin. The scene Is truly horrifying especially when a certain dragon seems to be enjoying the disgusting gore.

“Hahahahahaha… fuck!”

<Dermakvar! Quiet! Loki… you okay?>

The entire world begins shake from the dragon unable to hold back his laughter from the sight. It’s so overwhelming in fact, I nearly lose consciousness.

“Yeah… jeez, I think I’m okay. Just what in Ragnarök was that?”

<Dragon tongue Loki. He just needs to get this out of his system, he has always been a master of speech after all. It also doesn’t help my Dermak was born sinister but had to go through a great deal to turn good>

Surprisingly enough while the male dragon continues to throw more potions to the still screaming gorgon, the female I’m on top seems to be enjoying his excitement. I’ll be honest and say I wish I wasn’t here right now!

Despite looking away, I can already tell my potions of melting flesh have done the trick as the black dragon returns to us after melting that poor gorgon to the bone. Let’s just be looking away from all that because these potions are not funny in the slightest! It even required a special glass to house them, not going to be expensive to replace in the slightest. Guess I’ll have to work some more shifts serving that bitch again…

<I cannot let that slide darling. I’m… good? What part of the hundreds of years we’ve spent together gives you that idea? >

<Really Dermakvar? Have you no idea how much you’ve mellowed out after having children?>

<Hmph… I put on an act for little and littlest ones, I’ll have you know. I’m still bad to the bone and I’ll live and die that way…>

While the badgering-dragon complains to the tsundere-dragon, you can thank Ariza for my knowledge of that word, I still just sit here waiting for us to round this up. Poor gorgon Medusa, she’s definitely seen better days. Think she’s dead now but I’m not sure that statue form was alive to begin with.

“Are we finished with this then? We’re not supposed to bring back the corpse, are we?”

My brothers when it comes to collecting trophies would sometimes bring back grotesque things so I’m hoping these two dragons aren’t the same.

<Assume we’re finished fake demon. We’ve still got one more task to accomplish so it’s on you to do what you were assigned with>

<We’ll split when we get back to the portal Loki. Asmodeus has left us with instructions as well>

“Right right, I know my task! Maybe I’ll finally get some days off next week…”

__________

(Continuing Loki’s Perspective)

“Bah, what is the meaning of this!?! You mean to tell me in the space of several days… four of the heavenly pillars lay in tatters? What fucking terrorist is doing such a thing!?!”

Having just been arrived back at Zeus’s palace, I’m extremely late for my shift and for good reasons. All that work with the dragons and I’m positively flushed now. Medusa was bang out of order, boo…

(Demeter) “Five now… you can’t really blame them when security was this lax on the first few, can you brother?”

(Hera) “This clearly seems like a big deal… told you should’ve just killed the rebellion. We can always have more kids if they’re part of the problem”

----------

---The two women aren't on the AI art chapter yet hence why I'm reshowing them. I'll just assume your memories are better with appearances than mine going forward lol.

----------

Like usual, Zeus is surrounded by the only people he can partially trust, that being Demeter and Hera. The more logical one is his sister and the bitch is of course Hera.

“Bah! Answer me Ragnarök whore! Who the hell is responsible!?!”

“Heya grumpy guy! Don’t electrocute the messenger! My contact gave me a note with a creepy grin, then left!”

Before any of you silly Billie’s say anything about this, Asmodeus himself wanted me to rely the message! I really don’t know why he enjoys pissing people off so much, I actually worried Zeus’s forehead vein will pop and I’ll get blood on my makeup! Not like I’ve already ruined my mascara during that last fight, I was sweating my ass off!

“Bah, who is this contact of yours and can they be trusted? Of course they can’t be trusted you idiot, no one can if this how things are going…”

(Hera) “Just relax my husband! We can always just defend the last two and the rebels will know no better! It’s not the end of the world”

“Bah, you don’t understand the importance of those things Hera! If the rebels are now targeting the pillars, this can only mean one thing. It’s over for all of us”

(Demeter) “These younglings really have no idea what they’re doing… gotta give them credit for rallying together though. It would be interesting if it didn’t involve the destruction of everything”

Surprisingly enough, Zeus almost seems afraid of the words Demeter speaks. Once again, I have no idea what’s going on! These pillars are supposed to be important but no one ever shares what they actually do!

“Think Zeus, think! We could go about rebuilding them in a timely manner… but that would leave the last two undefended, you idiot! Do we defend what little we have, go on the offensive, or rebuild?”

‘He’s even talking to himself, truly a sign of insanity. It’s totally not like I do the same exact thing!’

“You could just ask your brothers help if you’re really desperate. I’m sure Poseidon, even Hades would be willing to listen to reason considering this affects all Gods”

From depression to logical thinking, to now sheer anger, is this really surprising with how temperamental the grumpy guy is?

“The one thing I don’t do Demeter is ask for help! If either that ocean obsessed or graveyard keeper want to lend a hand, I’ll be here anytime… but I never ask for help!”

…

Sensing tensions are now running really high, I wonder if I can make this a better working environment? I was supposed to be working today after all…

“Let’s just put aside all that scary stuff for now… can I get anyone a drink!?”

…

Looking at me like I’m an idiot, I swiftly get ignore while the three of them quietly ponder to their selves. Someday, I swear I’m going to the human lands to get away from all these horrible Gods, boo…

‘Asmodeus probably knows what he’s doing. Oh well, I’m borrowing the lab if no one wants anything! My incarnate needs her womanly fix so let’s get going…’