Reincarnated as a Phoenix

“Heh, and so little phoenix friends of mine, we’re finally here”

(Ikarus) “We’re not friends demon and never will be. As for what’s ahead of us though, guessing it keeps out the poison then?”

“Doubtful it’s for intruders Ikarus. Both of us could break through with no problems at all”

High in the demonic sky looking down at what appears to be a demonic settlement of sorts, this place has a massive glass structure surrounding the small town, almost as if they knew Asmodeus’s poison attack was expected. That, or it’s always been there, makes no difference regardless though. The second that dome smashes into pieces, the fog will consume all that live within it.

“You wanting me to bomb this place into oblivion then? The supernova is still on cooldown but a quick nuke will do the trick, that’ll bring the next lord outside”

Still on Petra’s back, I get a slight chuckle from the demon at my insistence on getting things started. Unlike last fight, I’m getting less serious vibes around this place so whoever is here will probably be easier than Satan himself. He’s got to be, that last one survived something impossible.

“Heh, not this time orange one. Say, outta curiosity, how much gold and jewellery are you two currently carrying around on you?”

Wait, why has this conversation turned into money all of a sudden? Is this related to the sin of the next demon lord?

“A chest full perhaps? Ikarus mostly carries everything monetary now”

“Erm… maybe half a tonne? Basically, just imagine a carriage nearly filled, why you asking though?”

“Doesn’t matter, yet at least. Just, before we enter, make sure you put away any bracelet, any ring or anything you consider valuable. Unless you’re happy parting with it, pretend it doesn’t exist”

Okay, I’m confused now, are we killing this guy or going to pay him off? It’s obvious what Asmodeus is hinting at, not particularly sure why we’re not using combat as the base method but I guess not all demon lords are inherently evil then? Eh, we’ll just see in a minute.

Anyways, Petra finds a suitable spot to land close by to the gate of the dome, we hop off and she switches form. Really feels odd not having to change after flying about but my wifey wanted to do this... I’ve also never realized how big Petra’s phoenix butt looks. Sure, it’s cute and all, could imagine how comfortable it would be to sleep cuddled up to literally any part of her, but I’m like the same exact size! I always knew it was big but still! Us phoenixes have fat arses unfortunately.

While I’m having a stupid existential crisis about having a big butt, both those two lead and head towards the metallic looking gate separating the dome to the poison filled majin world. I’m honestly getting sci-fi or spaceship air locks vibe from this entrance, albeit way less futuristic looking than normal.

Almost like they have an intercom system set up here, Asmodeus presses a button on the gate and starts to jokingly speak into it.

“Heh, I’ll have a diseased pigeon, deep fried in the bowels of an angel”

Almost immediately, we get a really dissatisfied male voice responding on the other side.

“We gave you the password for a reason Asmodeus, no need for the stupid joke… death to the angels and all that anyways. If you’re here to see Mammon, just head to the usual building… Ah, let me reset the air lock as well…”

__________

“You’re late Asmodeus. You’ll all have to wait a tad since Mammon isn’t currently ready to receive”

Upon exiting the most makeshift medieval looking airlock you can imagine; Asmodeus takes off his mask and we enter the hellish styled town being greeted by a guard. No idea how that thing just worked as the air lock filled with steam and apparently, it’s now safe? Eh, technology has always been a mystery.

The demon greeting us has short dark hair, the same red skin they all seem to have in this world and even looks to have some headset piece on! To think technology has developed to this point of airlocks and earpieces in this world, I guess this isn’t the same as back at home but at least it’s given me hopeful signs the gnome and Marcus may be able to bring us up an era or two.

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“Heh, you still sleeping with the Lord Mammon I presume?”

‘Wait, this next demon lord is gay? I’ll status check this guy for an unrelated note real quick though’

[Name: Kalell   |   Species: Demon   |   Level: 122]

[Health    7,700/7,700]

[Stamina 4,289/4,500]

[Magicka 0/0]

‘Huh, he’s actually way weaker than I first thought’

“Tsh, always with the gripes and it’s not even been a minute Asmodeus. Just piss off and go pester Mammon already, couldn’t care less if the lord isn’t ready yet”

Heh, looks like we won’t have to wait then. My curiosity cannot let this opportunity go to waste though.

“Before we leave, I’ve got to ask about that thing on your ear. How does it even work?”

Even Petra stops before walking off, she also now seems curious on this. Imagine having a pair of working earphones, I could listen to Petra’s voice all the time! Music also sounds good but might as well simp as much for my wife as I can.

“Vibrations in the air is the simplest way to describe it, something lesser races will never understand, not that you birds are considered as such. Seriously now, go find Mammon in the golden house because I’m bored… Oh, welcome to town anyways”

‘At least this guy knows what to say before offending us, honestly always thought lesser demons were all incompetent judging by the invasion we went through but, think Asmodeus was the main reason that. He did apparently set the invasion up to fail…’

__________

“Brother Asmodeus! How long has it been since we last locked eyes upon each other!?”

“Heh, greetings Mammon. Still very much hating clothes I presume?”

“As if I could bathe in coins while dressed! You lot are all welcome to join me, just don’t steal anything because I will know if you do”

“Heh, think we’ll pass on that, unless Ikarus wants to show her birthday suit?”

“Haw haw Petra”

Upon entering the leaders house of this dome, what presents us is a partially naked demonic woman armed with golden horns, golden gloves, golden boots and literally nothing else on. Didn’t expect a female nudist to be the demon lord of greed but hey, I’m always up for a little bit variety. That sounds weird…

To actually describe her appearance, imagine a female body builder with a multicolour hairstyle, one partially dead eye and muscles that could seriously poke out your eye. I had expected Mammon to be quite round and plump considering the greed thing, but she’s actually kinda hot in a non-conventual kind of way… I mean, only the muscles of course! We all know I’m a slight fan by this point, I’d drool at the site of Petra having a six pack but us phoenixes can’t get buff apparently. That’s the lazy lie I’m choosing to believe.

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---Don't even ask why her face is so red because I don't know either!

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What also stands out is the fact this living room is covered in golden coins pretty much everywhere; you can’t even make a step without stepping on some scattered about. Reminds me a little of my parent’s stash hidden away in the nest, just without all the silver and shiny weapons added. This demon lord only wants gold it seems.

‘Let’s check this out quickly, even know I know it’ll be the same… status’

[Name: Mammon   |   Species: Demon Lord   |   Level: 1,000]

[Health     166,666/166,666]

[Stamina  162,052/166,666]

[Magicka 166,666/166,666]

“So, what brings you and the little birdies to my neck of the woods this time around brother? We’ve already had enough lustful orgies for one lifetime so that can’t be that, right?”

‘Brother and orgies being used that close together really isn’t something I’m happy with. At least I know demon lords aren’t related by blood, but still’

“Heh, always bringing my moment of weakness up. You tend to lust for anything, even beings of disgust when suffering through loss…”

Considering the fact Mammon just got called disgusting and still smiles like it’s nothing, these two must be used to this sort of thing. Not exactly sure it’s a toxic relationship like with Mr jugs and Mrs disgusting but this seems more like a one-night stand kinda thing.

“…Anyways Mammon, it’s finally time. We can go about doing this the easy way, or the hard one, the choice is entirely on your shoulders”

All of a sudden, Asmodeus’s aura goes much darker and serious at the closing of his statement. It sounds like this demon lord may know about the oracle sharing knowledge but this isn’t the conversation for either me or Petra to get involved in just yet.

“Guess it’s time then, huh. You really can’t be expecting me to give up my horns just like this and not expect any payment or compensation, right? And get that stupid threating aura out of my dome or I’ll stick it up where the sun don’t shine!”

The demon full of greed actually gets up to push Asmodeus away, that was way too playful for two beings of immense power like this. I was wanting to kill another demon but by how chummy they are, I’m disappointed.

“Heh, name your price and we’ll see it done”

‘You know, why are we even giving her a choice though? There’s no way this woman is as powerful as Satan himself, don’t see why we can’t just threaten her. I swear this is a fight we can win’

“Allow me to have a quick think alone and I’ll get back to you on that in a few minutes or so”

Reluctantly following the rest of the party along doing as we’re asked; I still can’t help but be a little annoyed about this exiting the room. At least Asmodeus is giving up some useful information now despite me wanting to take this down a much more forceful route, I know we can handle her though! Compared to all the other lords we’ve encountered, Asmodeus included, she’s by far the weakest.

“There are three possibilities that may happen here phoenixes. The first is that she plays nice and only requests a substantial amount of compensation, the gold you both have hidden away should prove more than enough”

Unlike his usual smiling persona, he’s gone into a real serious sort of mode and it’s lightly unsettling.

“Guessing all solutions requires some sort of expensive payment then?”

“Partially dark one, the next possibility involves giving up a powerful artifact so in a way, that’s payment. I may have something that works for that but if it doesn’t, one of you may have to part with a weapons…”

So wait, we may have to give up Petra’s samurai sword, my vampiric blade or Excalibur? Nah, I’m not happy with future number two, that option is a steaming pile of two.

“…And onto the last possibility. She may require something a little closer to home, something neither of you are willing to accept…”

Almost like he’s purposely pausing for dramatic response, Asmodeus takes his damn time revealing the final outcome. Damn this guy and his preference for story telling!

“…She may just ask… for one of you”

“One of us? What the fuck does that mean?”

“Think about it orange one, what’s the one thing that money can’t buy? Her greed can spread so far, it may just end up in a place too close to home. Unless one of you is willing to become her slave, the third option will only lead to violence”

Considering what this demon is like and even he isn’t considering the possibly of splitting me and Petra up, guess the third option is just good ol’fashioned violence then. As if me or Petra are going to become a demon lord slave splitting us, that’s so stupid it’s not even worth thinking about it. Knowing how things seems to shift, we’re probably going to get this future now…

“Why are not resorting to violence in the first place Asmodeus? This situation seems unexpected”

Petra actually gets in before me on this annoying question that still is yet to be answered. Even if he has one friend over here in the demon world, doesn’t this seem slightly out of character?

“Heh, do both of you assume I’m some evil killer only obsessed with causing pain and suffering?

…

“Heh, I’ll both take your silence as a no then. To actually destroy a world, you don’t have to kill or blow up every single thing within it. This poison will probably last a hundred years so other than this town we’re currently in, everywhere else will die off. The world as a majority is dead and that’s more than enough”

Damn, he really does put in into perspective yet, we still don’t know the exact specifics on how this guy was even able to poison his entire world. By the sounds of it, he’s managed to weaponize a natural but deadly fog and will never share the knowledge with anyone, already asked a while ago and he completely refused to answer. On one hand, it’s good that this information will die with him but on the other, this motherfucker has a monopoly on chemical warfare! If he dares bring it back into our world, even if it’s not that toxic to humans, he will have hell to pay…

“I strongly disagree on our definitions of destroy demon lord but, if you want to be a tsundere and leave some remaining, then it’s fine I guess”

“Heh, Ikarus has always been for a more violent and explosive solution”

“You’re damn right woman! What’s even the point if not turning everything into rubble? You’re just half-assing the job!”

That gets a little chuckle out of others but I am being serious though, over the top destruction is basically my thing at this point. Heck, it took way longer than a week just to fly out of my crater back when we killed Satan, that’s my style!

Even then… it, felt a little underwhelming. Guess my destruction will never be truly satisfied till I can destroy everything in the entire world in the blink of an eye, a continent sized hole isn’t enough. That’s… pretty alarming I feel this way, better bottle that up and try and forget about it.

Ignoring my lust for power and returning into the room, now finding the naked lord now sitting up twiddling a coin in her hands, she almost looks like a business woman about to conduct a deal or something if you ignore the obvious nature of her bare arse. The aura the muscular woman gives off now could be described as intense if you’re happy with understatements.

“You know, I have all the money I could ever need and yet, my hunger is never fully fulfilled or satisfied. At this point, I feel like anything monetary wouldn’t make an inch of difference…”

‘We’re going to get the third option, as if it would be that easy’

“…That being said, there are other forms of payments you can make. I am low on artifacts but those don’t strike my fancy either today… You know, I’m way more interested on the loving side of my hunger…”

Very slowly, me and Petra place our hands on our weapons getting ready for the second Asmodeus tells us this situation isn’t redeemable. Except, even he seems unsure what to say right now.

“…Say, how does a year splitting you two lovers apart sound? I’ve never experienced the thing called as true love and having one of you all to myself sounds… pretty attractive. I can tell deep down the feelings you two have for each other just by a quick glance and having just a glimpse of that may satisfy my greed, just for a little bit”

Before me and Petra get the chance to raise our weapons and kick combat off, Asmodeus shakes us off almost like this wasn’t a possibility or something. This is what he was referring to, wasn’t it? One of us has to serve her basically becoming some fake lover or some shit like that! Slave, lover, it might as well be the same thing in this situation.

“Huh… this is a possibility I did not anticipate happening, there was never a time love or time played a factor… Mammon, who have you been speaking to?”

“Say what, brother?”

“Countless possibilities and futures yet, you’ve somehow come out with something even the oracle couldn’t predict. Spill your secrets Mammon or we’ll spill something much more flavourful”

‘Okay, I’m now liking where this is going’

“Oh come on brother, don’t be like that! Can’t a demon lord have some secrets?”

“Phoenixes… help me by starting to cut this idiot, pretty please?”

As soon as Asmodeus says that, both me and Petra raise our blades knowing exactly how he’s going about this now. The reaction she gives is instantly pure panic, it’s obvious this woman doesn’t want to fight us.

“Wait wait wait! Let’s be civil about this, shall we? I just wanted a new lover, is that too much to ask!?”

Getting two looks from my wife and the demon, it’s obvious they’re wanting me to use the eye of wisdom ability I have. You know, I kinda regret being a portable lie detector now.

“She’s one-hundred percent lying about this”

“Heh, lying like a snake won’t get you out of this situation Mammon. Start spilling words because you won’t slither your way out of this”

(Petra) “…”

“Rats! I, erm, really can’t say”

Without even needing words, me and Petra further approach the struggling mess of a demon lord now with our weapons fully ready to slice. I am kinda hoping we won’t need to go down the torture route but it’s been proven to be pretty successful if human history is anything to go off.

“Damn it! Fine, another brother gave me some Info about what might be happening and I couldn’t help myself”

“Which brother have you been speaking to Mammon? Wasn’t knowing about the attack more than enough?”

He almost sounds betrayed by finding out she’s been getting pieces of information from someone else. Guess it’s confirmed he told her about the poison beforehand so it’s pretty likely she knows at least a little of all this oracle stuff.

“Of course it wasn’t! You know firsthand when someone comes up to me offering juicy bits of gossip, I need to know it all! Look, I can’t say much more than this because I swore an oath! I’m honestly shocked my head didn’t explode just from that quickie alone”

Giving a quick confirmation nod to the others, obviously she must have this weird demon exploding head curse that’s been mentioned once before. The beastkin demon worshiper Geld said something about Asmodeus using it on him but it wasn’t completely true, something like that was said anyways.

‘Wonder if Geld’s alright down in the Underworld anyways…’

__________

(Temporary Perspective Change)

“Heya! That’s no fair, you must’ve cheated!”

(Alecto) “How in Hades’s name can he possibly cheat Tisiphone? You brought the cards and even dealt them yourself”

(Megaera) “*Snoring*, wha… *snoring*”

Located in the prison once used to trap Dionysus and countless other Gods, an entrapped blonde haired beastkin sits within the cell playing a card game with the fury sisters, winning against them nearly every round.

Somehow, a simple game similar to what Ikarus would call poker turned into the stripping version after the idiotic sister suggested such an idea, obviously a naked man is a better alternative to the tentacle shaped sword she carries around with her. Except, only the women seem to suck at this game.

Despite Ikarus presuming the beastkin Geld is gay, maybe that wasn’t completely the truth and he doesn’t look dissatisfied with how things are moving along…

‘I guess this isn’t so bad… can’t believe I was ever missing my master…’

__________

“Look, can we wrap this up already? This demon lord isn’t going to give us shit so can we just attack her already if it’s inevitable? You still haven’t told us the alternative to getting the EXP I need yet Asmodeus”

Obviously, my patience levels are starting to dwindle when I’ve seen this type of situation countless times before. There’s useful information this person has except, it can’t be known to us just yet because plot reason. I swear I’m becoming more and more self-aware by the day.

“Heh, that’s simple orange one… Mammon, give the orange phoenix your horn, the payment can be you keeping your life”

‘See? We should’ve made this deal in the first place!’

“Tsh… fineee. Just take the damn thing already… Ouch… ouch, ouch! Motherfucker!”

Snapping one of her horns completely off, the stupid thing starts to piss blood everywhere while the sulking lord in question passes it over to Asmodeus, then onto me.

“Heh, drink up”

…

“Sorry, what?”

“Heh, just drink from it orange one. It’s the only way, if we’re excluding death of course. A majin lord giving up one of their horns is the same thing as renouncing your entire existence”

“Fucking bullshit this is, should’ve just made an actual deal instead of toying with you… You might want to down that in one shot though. When I first became a majin, that thing tasted like shit!”

You’ve got the sulking demon lord still holding her snapped horn, the grinning madly lord who knows everything and me and Petra who might as well be befuddled with what’s going on.

‘Oh well, down the hatch and all that…’

Initially, the taste isn’t that bad, just tasting like metal similar to how blood normally is but the taste quickly changes into something resembling rot and chemicals. How I managed to down that without retching is a mystery to all.

‘Yuck… feel sick now’

[<Regardless, well done for getting through that Ikarus because even Aesa nearly gagged. Here’s how things now look…>]

[Name: Ikarus   |   Species: Phoenix   |   Level: 809]

[Health    166,666*/166,666*]

[Stamina 152,246*/166,666*]

[Magicka 166,666*/166,666*]

[You currently have 54501 unassigned points]

---

[Name: Mammon   |   Species: Demon   |   Level: 500]

[Health     83,333/83,333]

[Stamina 81,018/83,333]

[Magicka 83,333/83,333]

‘Thanks for showing me her adjusted stats but, is there any real point in showing me my level anymore?’

I mean, it’s not a compliant but I wasn’t curious about my stats in the slightest, obviously it would’ve gone up after that ‘drink’. I can’t improve for the moment nor am I feeling any stronger so it seems a little pointless. It is strange how after the five hundreds, things start to feel less like I’m jumping a huge gap every time I level. Maybe I’m just so powerful already, there’s not much to compare myself too so it seems less noticeable? Eh, I don’t know anymore.

[<For Aesa’s sake, there is a point. Ikarus shouldn’t argue or question Aesa on this>]

‘I wasn’t! Just, I’m wondering why you sometimes bring it up without me even wanting to see it. Is it like an itch you can’t scratch so you just have to show me?’

[<…>]

Talk about having a system with OCD or something like that! Oh well, Aesa’s just as weird as me so this robotic wife thing we have going along works a charm, I’m only messing with her after all.

Actually going back into the present and giving the drained horn back to the women in question, no point sticking around so we’ll be on our way? I’m surprised Asmodeus isn’t trying to press her more considering she knows bits of the future as well but guess he probably thinks he already knows best.

“Before you three leave for good and never come back here, there is one other thing you may want to know, it should be safe to say. By the sounds of it, there may be another oracle lurking abo-”

“Impossible Mammon. I saw the last die in person, no future prophecies are to be foretold anymore”

Pure anger and sadness can be seen infecting demon lord of lust’s face as he refuses to accept it. Is it really impossible another oracle could pop up?

“I’m only going off how it was worded, the information I was given sounded recent and maybe new. Who knows, maybe the old oracle has found a way to come back from the dead…”

Before we even get the chance to ask anything further, the woman sends for her servants and basically pushes us out the door. What kind of weird reveal is this supposed to be?

“…Now please, would you buzz off already? I’m tired so I need my midday nap in my bathtub… it’s such a shame I can’t melt the gold down…”