Reaver’s Song

“Miss Song! Miss Song!” The girls ambushed me as I was heading toward the bathroom, darting in front of me and standing at attention. Their round cheeks, dark brown eyes brimming with mischief and bushy tails gave them the feel of a small animal storing food for winter. Seeing as how they were both chipmunk girls the resemblance seemed rather on target, I thought.

“Just call me Minji,” I sighed, trying unsuccessfully to edge around them.

“Miss Song! Miss Song!” They ignored me. Finally I sagged in resignation.

“Kumiko. Kuniko,” I acknowledged them with a nod. “I really have to use the bathroom so if it’s not urgent I’ll have to take a raincheck.”

“Oh! It’s very urgent!” The slightly taller one with the wounded ear, Kumiko, said gravely.

“So, so, urgent,” Kuniko nodded emphatically.

“Ok, let’s hear it,” I knew when I was beaten. “What’s up?”

“Oh! So yesterday, Tamaki, you know Tamaki?” Kumiko began, pausing to make sure I knew who she was talking about.

“Yes, I know Tamaki,” I massaged my temples, closing my legs tighter and gritting my teeth. I’d plainly had too much coffee and was paying the price. I glanced behind the two girls to the bathroom door at the end of the hall. So very close and yet so impossibly far away at the same time.

“Oh! Good!” Kumiko breathed a sigh of relief.

“Very good,” Kuniko clenched her small fists at her side excitedly.

“So I…we…were getting dressed in my room. It was a beautiful skirt and blouse that was kind of sky blue – “

“More like Police Strobe blue,” Kuniko interrupted.

“Really? It seemed more sky blue to me,” Kumiko tapped her head as if trying to coax the color of her clothes from her memory.

“Maybe a dark turquoise?” Kuniko wondered.

“How about a darker shade of Celeste?” Kumiko countered.

“Look! My back teeth are floating here, you have got to hurry it up,” I growled in exasperation.

“Oh! Anyway! We were getting dressed and we were naked, and we turned around to look at ourselves in the mirror to see if our boobs were growing.”

“As one does,” I shrugged.

“My boobs are bigger, now!” Kuniko enthused.

“No, they’re not!” Kumiko snapped.

“Yes, they are,” Kuniko shot back with a scowl.

“My boobs are bigger than your boobs!”

“I know! I was just saying my boobs are bigger than they were! They’re almost bigger than my hands, now!”

“Oh! I thought you were trying to say your boobs were bigger than my boobs!” Kumiko giggled.

“Your boobs are bigger than mine, but lots of people like lots of different sized boobs. Miss Song likes all kinds of boobs, right?” Kuniko turned to me, eyes brimming with hope. Oh, God, I thought. That question was so loaded it may as well have been a bazooka pointed at my head.

“I really have to use the bathroom so can we get to the urgent part?” I congratulated myself on a successful dodge.

“Do you have to pee?” Kumiko cocked an eyebrow quizzically.

“Yes.”

“Right now?” Kuniko chimed in.

“I said that at the start,” I pointed out.

“You should go, then! We can wait!” Kumiko folded her arms proudly over her chest.

“Good!” I rushed past them and into the bathroom, making it by the skin of my teeth. I sighed as I sat down on the toilet, relief and a shiver passing through me.

“Do you think she’s peeing?” I could hear Kuniko ask from the other side of the door.

“I think so. She said she had to pee,” Kumiko answered her sister. I sighed. What the hell had I gotten myself into with this whole thing?

It had been a little over two months since Tamaki had joined us and Catori had proven disturbingly adept at her job. What had started with Tamaki had quickly expanded to the point we had over a dozen kemonomimi now. Ha-Eun had also proven depressingly adept at her job and with the constant flow of tourists and locals into the café and part of the building we were using as a hotel Akira had begun using the banquet hall and meeting rooms for her business partners our business had expanded to the point we’d had to rush the training of the girls to accommodate the increased business as well as hiring additional help from the town itself.

What had initially been a neat and fun little way to pass the time had quickly become an actual business and I was quickly getting overwhelmed. Not to mention Akira had gotten back into her role at her own companies and spent many weeks down in Tokyo, leaving me to hold things together by sheer dumb luck.

“Do you remember when you peed on the electric fence last year?” Kumiko giggled.

“No?” Kuniko replied after a long pause.

“Oh…yeah. I forgot you got knocked out for like an hour,” Kumiko mumbled apologetically.

“Do you think Miss Song’s ever peed on an electric fence?” Kuniko wondered idly.

“You do know I can hear you, right?” I scowled.

“Are you peeing?” Kuniko called to me.

“Yes. Yes, I am,” I shook my head miserably.

“See?” Kumiko said smugly. “Told you she was.”

“You said you thought so,” Kuniko mentioned. “Not that she was.”

“Oh, yeah! I did! We were both right!”

“Yeah, we were!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” I shook my head as I finished up and washed my hands. “So what is so important, you two?”

“Huh?” They both asked as I opened the door.

“You said it was important.”

“What was?” Kumiko cocked her head to the side.

“I don’t know! You never finished! Something about Tamaki.” I had a headache that was forming behind my eyes that I was pretty sure was in the form of two chipmunks.

“What color even is Celeste?” Kumiko wondered apparently to herself.

“Oh! The pregnant girl called in sick for tomorrow!” Kuniko declared proudly.

“You answered the phone?” Kumiko gasped at her sister.

“I did!” Kuniko swelled with pride.

“You’re going to get in trouble! You know we’re not supposed to answer the phone! Miss Song said we…” They both paused and turned to me in abject horror. I scowled and put my hands on each of their shoulders, leaning close to them.

“I love you both very much,” I said quietly. “But I think you should take your baths and get some sleep.”

“Oh!” Kuniko bounced up and down excitedly. “Can we use the Ramune flavored bath salts?”

“You can take a bath in Ramune as far as I’m concerned, just go take it and get to bed.”

“Can we really?” Kumiko’s eyes opened dangerously wide in excitement.

“No. That was sarcasm.”

“Aww! Butts!” Kuniko sagged as the two ambled down the hall.

“Stop listening to Sayuri!” I demanded at their retreating backs.