Paragon of Weaponmasters

"We need to do something about the Honorlord." Mournthing tells us after returning to the secret lab. I needed a break from everything, and Peter indulged me. We sat in silence, leaning on the wall for a long while.

"What can we do?" I ask.

Mournthing gives me a look like I can 'Fuck off and die for all he cares', but he responds anyways.

"By orcish law, he who has the most honor is lord. You must accrue enough to challenge him for the throne." he tells us.

Die with Honor Accepted!

Earn Honor 100/10,000

"Hey…" I speak up before he departs. "I'm sorry. I didn't know your people would be put in harm's way. I knew you could handle it, I just wanted your help."

"You could have asked, I would have come." He says over his shoulder, voice laced with disappointment. It stings worse than the hatred from before.

"I really can't help but make a mess of every relationship I have, can I?" I ask rhetorically.

"You haven't messed up ours. Yet." Peter says with a smile, clearly trying to cheer me up.

"Thanks Pete. I'm sorry you had to see that." I tell him.

"It's alright. Just don't do it again alright?" He extends his hand.

"You got it." I shake it.

"Well, it's time for some good old fashioned P.V.P.. you ready?" he stands up and stretches.

"What, like Player Versus Player?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yep. It's the most efficient way to earn ten thousand honor." he informs me.

"Alright so what, we just walk around the human territory until we've killed enough?" I ask.

"Nah. We'll queue up for some battlegrounds." he cracks his neck. The horns probably help with the added weight.

I give him a 'Are you really going to make me ask?' look. He chuckles.

"Battleground are like dungeons, except we're fighting players. Ten on each team, there's different objectives like capture the flag and king of the hill. I'll tell you when we get in." he explains.

Your group has entered the queue for Battlegrounds.

Immediately after, a pop up appears in my vision with a picture of an orc with a flag running away from a human.

Enter Battleground? [Yes] [Leave Queue]

I hit yes, and I'm presented with a loading screen of the same image, but bigger.

"If you couldn't tell, this is capture the flag. Do you have a preference for offense or defence?" Peter asks.

"Uh… what one is more noob friendly?" I answer his question with a question.

"Well, offense it's mindless charging more often than not. On defense you don't have to go anywhere, so it's mindless in another way." He strokes his stubble.

"I guess let's play defense." I say.

Peter says: Earl and I on D

Twinklefariy says: Woah, THE Earl?

Umboque says: wruh

"I never wanted to be famous" I tell Peter, sighing.

3… 2… 1… Begin!

The other 8 players on our team charge towards the enemy flag. Peter and I stand around inside an orc-themed building, very brown and covered in murals. It takes a few minutes, but the enemy team finally arrives in our flag room.

Two elves and one dwarf. Wearing a robe, leather, and plate. I use Tornado Edge with Thozur, and they just walk right through it.

"What the fuck?" I ask, both Peter and my life.

"Did you not read the patch notes?" Peter asks while driving both daggers into the robe-wearing elf.

"What even is that?" I respond, trading blows with the leather elf.

"Yesterday was patch day, they reduced all damage Weaponmasters do by a flat 25%" He says while doing sick flips.

"What! Why?" I ask, using Circular Saw to get some breathing room.

"I dunno man, up to now you've done insane damage. Maybe save some for the rest of us?" Peter snarks.

"Son of a bitch." I pull out all the stops, casting Thunder God, Split Sword, and Wall of Swords.

100 Honor gained.

As the leather elf dies, the honor notification pops up. Cool, just need to kill a thousand more.

"Are you sure this is the most efficient way to get honor?" I ask Peter, helping him put the finishing touches on his soon-to-be-dead elf.

"Yep." he says, driving one knife deep into the elf in a killing blow.

100 Honor gained.

I look around, a sinking feeling in my gut.

"Hey Pete, where's the dwarf?" I ask.

The enemy has captured the flag!

0 to 1

Loktar says: what the fuck, D?

"Ah shit. He just walked in and took the flag while we were distracted, didn't he?" I rub my head.

"Hah, oops." Peter says. "Now they're going to turtle."

"Turtle?" I ask. I wish he would just tell me what these terms mean when he knows I don't know them.

"They're going to take our flag and hold it, and pile into their flag room with all 10 players. Run out the clock, and win." He informs me. 'Turtle' is admittedly a lot easier to say.

"Unless we stop them!" I say, flexing an arm.

"They still win unless our team caps their flag twice." He shakes his head.

Earl says: Hey, go get the flag!

Loktar says: eat me

Puttybutt says: you go get the flag

Earl says: I'm on D!

Puttybutt says: You're mom's on my D.

The dwarf returns with the same two elves, making a beeline for the flag.

"Oh no you don't" I say, putting my Wall of Swords across the path to the flag. The dwarf tries to run through it, and kills himself in the process. The damage is much higher than Tornado edge, as contact with each individual blade counts as a hit.

100 honor gained.

"Hah!" I shout, turning my attention to the elves. They both dogpiled Peter and have him close to death. "Rut roh."

I cast Intervention twice, managing to stop one blow from each elf. Two clones and two taunts don't seem to have any effect. Players must be immune. I try something new.

100 honor gained.

100 honor gained.

Circular Saw can be cast in orbit mode on other players. Nice! Peter moves his hips like he's using a hula hoop, we both laugh. Several of our teammates burst into the room, one of them holding the enemy flag.

Your team has captured the flag!

1 to 1

1000 honor gained.

"Hell yeah!" I shout, holding up my hand for a high five. Our team leaves me hanging as they exit the room. "Alright."

Peter walks over and gives me a high-five.

"Maybe we can win this. At least it's a draw for now." he comments.

I look at the very top of my vision, where the score and timer are. We have six minutes to score another point.

Earl says: We got this!

Peter says: :D

They don't even respond this time. Probably fighting. Peter and I wait, ready for combat the entire six minutes. Nobody shows up.

Draw!

1500 honor gained

When the loading screen returns me to the depths of the labyrinth, I check my quest progress.

Gain Honor 3,600/10,000

"Not bad. How did I get so much Honor? I don't think I saw enough notifications to add up to 3500." I ask Peter

"Every time our team killed an enemy player we got 50 honor." Peter tells me.

"Whaaat? We should have been on offense!" I say. "They got twice as many points as us!"

"Well there's always next time." he says.

Your group has entered the queue for Battlegrounds.

The queue pops instantly, this time the image is of a human on the top of a hill, his fist in the air. Must be king of the hill.

As we load in, we're in a much smaller holding area, and Peter and I.

"Is this couples P.V.P.?" I ask

Peter laughs, to the point of tears.

"It's called duos you goofball." he says, wiping his eyes.

"So it's you and me against the world?" I flutter my eyelashes sarcastically.

"Yeah, the world of 4 other teams. Stay on point and defend yourself, I'll sneak around and assassinate enemy players." He instructs me.

"Got it." I say.

3…2…1… begin!

In the center of the battleground sits a hill, with a transparent yellow ring around it. I mount up, charging towards it as fast as I can.

Team 2 has captured the hill!

How the hell did someone get there faster than my mount? I cross the boundary, the yellow ring blinks from red back to yellow. I try to ram a player with my goats, but we go right through them. Damn.

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I dismount and use Thunder God, dealing electrical damage to every nearby player. Almost all of my spells have an area of attack component, so I just spam them in the general direction of players.

100 honor gained.

100 honor gained.

100 honor gained.

100 honor gained.

100 honor gained.

Team 5 has captured the hill!

I guess we're team 5, because more honor starts rolling in as the ring turns green.

10 honor gained.

10 honor gained.

10 honor gained.

Every second that passes with the hill in our possession earns us 10 honor, awesome. According to the timer, we'll be in this battleground until either 20 minutes have elapsed, or one team accrues 3,000 honor by holding the hill for 5 minutes.

Wow, I did that math in my head. Go me.

100 honor gained.

I watch from my vantage above as Peter drives a dagger into another player, earning us another 100 points. While I'm watching him kick ass, the other four players return and dogpile me.

You've died.

"Well shit." I say, my voice coming out spooky and ethereal. "Woah."

I look down, and my body is a translucent blue. I'm a ghost? This is a first.

"Do you guys normally turn into ghosts when you die?" I ask Peter.

"Yeah, you don't?" he responds breathlessly.

"Nope. I just reappear in Masstaoir." I tell him.

"That's a weird bug." he says.

Peter had died.

Team 3 has captured the hill!

"Shoot, sorry did I distract you?" I wince as Peter's ghost appears next to me.

"Nah. Team 4 ganged up on me." he says.

We wait as the timer ticks down from 60 seconds starting when I arrived, Peter returns to life with me even though he died later.

We charge the hill, every team is present there. Naturally, I cast every spell at my disposal, and Peter does a spinning move with his body that sends daggers flying in every direction. Not quite as flashy as mine, but it does the job.

Team 5 has captured the hill!

I notice that the other players don't seem to have as many A.O.E. spells as I do, reducing their effectiveness in target-rich environments. Peter and I manage to fend off the teams together for the remaining time, claiming victory.

With our 3000 points for victory, and the kills, we reach 9300 out of the 10,000 we need.

"One more should do it, huh?" I say.

"Yep. Let's do it!" Peter responds.

We queue, it pops, and we enter a huge open arena. I immediately recognize it as the coliseum above the labyrinth we're currently in.

"How about that?" I say, looking around.

"So this is like a roman coliseum gladiator tournament. We fight each other, and they send out beasts too." Peter informs me.

"Ok cool, sounds fun." I get into a fighting stance.

"And we only get one life." he adds.

"Well shit." I stand up straight.

"Yeah, so be careful. I don't know why we got put together, this is a free-for-all battleground." He crosses his arms, thinking.

I can only grunt in response. I don't understand when shit's going exactly the way it's supposed to, nevermind when it isn't.

When the match begins, Peter's name turns red.

"So we are against each other after all." he says.

"I'll go easy on you." I tell him, smirking.

He laughs, turning invisible.

"Oh shit." I say, trying to spot where he went. I look at the ground expecting footprints, or hoofprints, but see none.

One of my other opponents makes a beeline straight for me, as I prepare to defend myself, they suddenly fall face-first in the sand. Peter has his knee in their back, and two daggers in their shoulders.

"Holy shit." I say. He's a terror when he cuts loose.

He vanishes again, I just have to cross my fingers and hope he saves me for last. I let Thozur go find his own battle, but keep Apaki at my side.

It is my pleasure.

100 honor gained.

My hammer almost immediately finds a head to cave in, giving me credit. I decide to play defensively, and let them come to me if they want to tussle.

"Ouch." I hiss as someone parries Thozur and I take the damage. I'm going to have to ask Peter if there was something about that in the patch notes, when he's not about to kill me.

The arena is littered with bodies, I barely move from where I started. This would be terrifying enough, even without the invisible stalker lurking around. The portcullis closest to me opens, revealing a chimera. It roars with a lion head, bleats with a goat head, and hisses with a snake-headed tail simultaneously.

Chimera. Level 70

I might as well try to kill it, seen as it's already charging at me. I use Wall of Swords, hoping it will run straight into it, but the damned thing jumps right over it. For such a large creature it moves fast. Tornado Edge proves just as useless, as I can't move it quickly enough to keep up.

Just as it reaches me, I use Circular Saw in orbit mode. That will teach it! The blade slices into its chest thrice before it can move away, staring three pairs of furious eyes at me.

Then it breathes fire like a goddamned dragon.

I lose half my health before I react, using Distribute to redirect the damage to Apaki…

… and I'm still taking damage.

Did the patch break my goddamned damage reduction ability? I'm not even taking less damage! I desperately start spamming my abilities, Split Sword, Thunder God, whatever it takes to end this fight. It's not enough, and I'm going to die well before it does. I might have to start using my head…

I throw Apaki behind the Chimera and use Exchange to switch places. When the Chimera bites where I was, it instead gives itself the world's worst splinter, my sword through the roof of its mouth. It must have pierced the brain, as the lion head hangs limp.

"One down." I say, using Summon Weapon, then Circular Saw to cut away at the snake tail. It severs cleanly, leaving a stump shooting blood as it writhes.

Struggling to stand, the goat head tries to turn its exhausted body towards me. It breathes fire in a circle around it, thankfully in this condition I can outpace it. I cut at the flank, finally bringing the beast down.

1000 Honor earned.

I sigh with relief. Then Peter stabs me in the back.

"I wanted that kill." he whispers.

"Then you should have killed it!" I say the first thing that comes to mind, too focussed on survival to come up with anything witty.

I cast Circular Saw in Orbit mode, waiting for him to strike again. When that spell expires, I wait a beat, then cast Tornado Edge on myself. Peter continues hiding in the shadows. I manage to cast Wall of Swords in a circle around me, growing nervous as I run out of options.

"You forget Earl." Peter says from my right.

"I've been paying attention to your spells." he says from my left.

"But you have no idea what I'm capable of." he says directly in front of me, balancing on two swords on the wall. He launches a wave of daggers at me, dealing lots of total damage in tiny amounts.

I use Thunder God and Thunder Clap to deal damage to everything nearby, notably Peter. While he shrugs off the damage, knowing where he is lets me use Thunder Beam and keep it on him.

"You haven't seen this one yet, smart-ass!" I yell as it chips away at his health little by little. I can tell by his facial expressions that he's trying to use spells to avoid the damage or disappear, and none are working. My smile grows until another portcullis opens, revealing some manner of creation I've never seen before.

Zuz'dhirud, Undead General. Level 90.

I cancel the spell, staring dumbly at our new opponent. Peter and I are the only gladiators left alive, the others are mere corpses strewn across the arena. The monster cackles, echoing like it's head-first in a well. The sound is fitting for its appearance, a floating, robed skeleton with huge horns. It's covered in chains and jewelry, as if a king was buried with all of his treaturee, then rose from the dead with it all attached.

It raises a bony hand in the air, eyes glowing red. The specific shade of red light that sends a shiver down my spine.

The bodies all along the arena floor begin to rise onto unsteady feet. Their eyes too are filled with unnatural red light, all turning to face us. Peter and I look at eachother, truce already called. Like the least survivable version of zombies possible, the revived players sprint at us.

I lay down a Wall of Swords in their path, and drop a pair of Tornado Edges where the wall doesn't cover. My prayers are answered as the undead mindlessly charge right into them. In their weakened state, some of them die outright and others lose limbs.

Peter disappears while I'm dealing with the adds, and reappears behind the necromancer. Going straight for the source, I see. Maybe killing the puppetmaster will get rid of the raised players too. It's just a shame that the huge skeleton uses a spell to turn Peter into a steaming puddle of goo instantly.

"Fuck me." I swear, thankful at least that Peter is not added to the army of the damned.

Limping, crawling, and leg-dragging zombies still make their way to me. I'm hesitant to use Illusory Clone, or send my weapons in, since they could dogpile them and kill me from 20 feet away.

I manage to cut down several more undead before I realize the big one isn't just sitting idle. He's charging up some sort of spell, and if I had to guess, if it hits me I'm done for. I haven't had a spell reflecting shield for a while now, and Intervention doesn't work on me, only allies…

Do my weapons count as allies? Well, there's no time like the present to find out. I put Thozur in front of me, and prepare to cast Intervention with Apaki.

You both ready? I ask

I was forged ready! Thozur says

Of course. Says Apaki.

The boss casts his spell, some terrible skull-faced, poison-laced bolt of pure unadulterated death. I use Intervention on Apaki, and it works! The spell slightly curves in the air towards the sword.

I feel Apaki's devilish grin in my mind as the blade goes translucent, and the spell goes straight through them. Thozur is already on the move after Intervention was successful, so instead of hitting either of my weapons, it hits me.

I feel myself seize, curling up into a ball while still on my feet. My nerves are on fire, as every muscle under my skin burns away. I feel my strength leave me as my body is reduced to skin-and bone. My lip cracks and bleeds what little fluid I have left as I ask Apaki…

"Why?"

The blade observes my sorry state, not an ounce of pity or remorse present in its projected thoughts.

The only master I serve is myself. This being we face seems more capable of fulfilling my desires than you.

Apaki starts to float over to the boss, I can feel its presence leave mine as it hovers away.

"No…" I croak, extending a withered hand. My body may be weak, but my will is still strong. I reach out to the rebellious blade, channeling the same force that prevented Thozur from killing me in the auction house. Apaki freezes in the air, vibrating with futile resistance.

I am no one's tool! It screams as my will overpowers its own.

I sigh with relief as I regain control, coughing blood afterwards. A single zombie has finally staggered over to me, and prepares to strike. I pull Apaki through the air into their chest.

My health is in the single digits, and the boss hasn't taken so much as a scratch yet. I need to heal…

As the zombie is held back by the floating sword, I feel something there. Beyond the blade, the presence of the player lingers. They're still in there, whatever passes for a soul in this digital world. The Boss's will is there too, overriding it. Controlling the body through the spirit. In my mind's eye, it looks identical to how I wield my blade.

Pushing through the membrane of will, I puncture the soft shell of the lich's presence. My will seeps into the player's lingering soul, establishing a link… control.

Like the ghost of an interface, I can see the player's action bar over my own. They were some kind of cleric, with both damaging and healing spells.

I command the player to heal me, and without hesitation, reluctance, or resistance, they do. My health returns to full as I take to my feet and return to my full height.

"I am the master here." I declare, staring into the Lich's glowing eyes.

I ignore my own vision turning red, avoiding my reflection on the edge of my blade.

Instead of casting another nasty spell, the Lich grins. It finds this new contest of wills entertaining, does it? We fight over the player's body, even at my significant level disadvantage, I hold strong against its attempt to retake control. Eyeing the player's spells, I notice the faint description mentions Holy Fire and Divine Smite are exceptionally effective against the undead.

My newly healed lips do not crack as I smile back at the monster.

The player corpse raises its hands, sending bolts, waves, and rays of divine energy at the lich. It seems less thrilled with this development, its bones aflame. Thozur joins the fight, cracking ribs and smashing skull as the lich is preoccupied trying to wrest control from me. It might be more about pride than survival at this point.

One final ability lies unused on the ghost action bar, a spell called Divine Presence. It's so short ranged, you practically have to be on top of your opponent for it to be effective. So I fulfill that requirement by sending the corpse flying through the air, impaled on my blade, into the boss's chest.

In a beam of pure holy light descending from heaven, the boss and the player alike are reduced to smouldering ash.

10,000 honor earned.

I chuckle, then laugh, then cackle like a madman. This power is intoxicating. The battleground comes to an end, ejecting me back into the maze where Peter waits for me.

"What happened? I couldn't spectate after I died." he asks.

"I…" what do I tell him? How much does The Monitor want him to know? How much do I want him to know? I told him I wouldn't do anything 'like that' again when I controlled the Minotuars and cyclops… and then I went and did exactly that.

The post-fight clarity hits me hard. Am I a monster?

"I beat it with a healer player that was still in there with me." I tell him roughly the truth.

"Huh. I didn't see any other survivors." he says, immediately catching me in the lie.

I just grunt. I don't want to lie to him. What do I say, the lich wasn't strong enough to overcome my will? I'm the bigger boss between the two of us? Players should be hunting me down instead of them?

"What can I do with honor?" I ask. I didn't just finish the quest, I doubled it.

"You can buy cosmetics, mounts, pets, toys. When you're in a battleground your equipment is balanced with everyone else, so there's no point in rewarding you with better gear." He answers.

"Where's the vendor?" I don't recall seeing a 'P.V.P. cosmetics' guy anywhere.

"Honorlord's Hold. you can swing by after we turn in the quest." Peter tells me, then yawns.

"Hold on, it's like…" I have to think about it. "What, midnight? Don't you have school tomorrow?"

"Nah. I'm gonna stay home." he tells me with a sleepy voice.

"Why?" I ask.

It takes him a weirdly long time to answer.

"I want to take a mental health day." he answers.

"Oh, okay. Are you going to bed now?" I was in favor of Millie taking mental health days, no matter how much shit her teachers gave us for it.

"I think so." he yawns again.

"The earlier you get to bed, the earlier you can get up and play." I remind him.

"Right." he says. "Well, goodnight."

"Night Pete." I say.

When he leaves, I finally notice the distinct sparkle of a lootable body around Aighe. Walking over and crouching, my reward almost makes my eyes pop out of my head.

Spine of the Life-taker added to inventory.

Spine of the Life-Taker - Legendary cloak - Requires level ?? Maximum Agility - Chance to dodge attacks from behind.

Boy, that would have been useful when Peter was turning my back into swiss cheese. Can I even equip it though? I try, and it works. Huh. I'm also confused why it's legendary instead of unique, because it seems like it's on the crown's level of power. Beyond, even. Who knows, the game's logic for stats and items is nonexistent.

I use my character screen, seen as I can't get a good look while it's on my back. It's covered in reddish-orange scales, with a miniature version of the spinosaurus fin running down the middle. The color palette doesn't match my dark armor at all, but I'm not particularly in the mood to address it.

Paragon Helga says: Meet me in the Halls of Honor?