Overlooking Your Eyes

“Yeong-won.”

“……”

“Do you really hate me that much?”

“…You said something weird. Isn’t it strange to feel good after hearing something dirty?”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just that I didn’t like eating what Kim Hyun-jin ate.”

Yeong-won hadn’t expected an apology, and the sincerity in Yoo Seon Woo’s tone made him feel uncertain about how to respond. It was something he had never anticipated, and the reason felt odd, but the attitude was very clear. It didn’t feel like a joke, which made things uncomfortable and awkward.

“Why do you dislike it…? Kim Hyun-jin didn’t even give it to you, and he and I have been friends since middle school, so I don’t really care about that kind of stuff.”

“Then eat what I’ve eaten.”

“What?”

“Whatever I feed you.”

As Yoo Seon Woo raised his hand and gently pressed on Yeong-won’s chin, Yeong-won instinctively turned his head, his lips parting. Yoo Seon Woo kept laughing, seemingly finding something amusing.

“Your lips are small.”

“……”

“Do you think anything can fit in there?”

Yeong-won felt the weight of the words, realizing the truth in the saying that you can’t judge people by appearances. Yoo Seon Woo was fixated on things that other people wouldn’t even notice, and it felt both strange and intriguing. Yeong-won still couldn’t understand why Yoo Seon Woo was acting this way or what kind of person he really was.

Yoo Seon Woo’s hand covered Yeong-won’s wrist again. Though it seemed like a natural action between friends, the strange atmosphere made it feel different, especially since Yeong-won had never had this kind of interaction with Kim Hyun-jin. The place and mood seemed to have a big impact, and to ease the awkwardness, Yeong-won quickly thought of something to say.

“Are you not doing your study session here… you said you wouldn’t because of your private lessons.”

“I’m upset because you don’t talk to me.”

The word upset stuck in Yeong-won’s ear, its sweetness making the simple words sound unusually gentle. Yoo Seon Woo’s voice had a way of making even the most ordinary things sound special. When others used words like “disgusting” or “annoying,” Yoo Seon Woo’s choice of upset felt like it fit him perfectly.

“You don’t want to be with me, do you?”

“…It’s not that I… hate it. It’s just… you say weird things, and it’s hard to take seriously…”

“You said you didn’t want to talk to me, and you were going to change your seat… I thought if I spent more time with you, you’d hate me more. That’s why I didn’t ask.”

“……”

Before Yeong-won could respond, he felt Yoo Seon Woo’s grip on his wrist tighten gently. The sensation was ticklish and a little sharp, making Yeong-won curl his fingers instinctively. Even his toes in his sneakers curled in response.

“…What about the private lessons?”

“I mostly do them on the weekends.”

“…If you want to do your study session, go ahead. You don’t have to skip it because of me.”

“Is that okay?”

As Yoo Seon Woo leaned in to ask for permission, their bodies got closer. His knee gently brushed against Yeong-won’s, which made Yeong-won nod in response.

“I guess I’ll resubmit the form. Thanks.”

“……”

“I want to get along with you. I’ll be more careful from now on.”

Yeong-won nodded again. After hearing that, there was no way he could reject him. The discomfort that had been lingering in his mind melted away without a trace.

“Then we’ll do things like we used to, eat dinner together, go to the snack shop, and talk, okay?”

“…Okay. But…”

“But?”

“…I like to focus when I’m studying. I have a plan every day, and I need to stick to it. I’m fine with having dinner and going to the snack shop, but I can’t just keep talking all the time.”

“I understand. I get it. I won’t bother you while you’re studying. If there’s anything else I should know, just tell me.”

“…There’s nothing.”

As Yeong-won shook his head, Yoo Seon Woo’s hand gently cupped his cheek. He stroked it lightly before letting go. Yeong-won, feeling the warmth of the touch, instinctively rubbed the spot his hand had just touched.

“I have to go home now.”

“Ah, let me walk you. I’ll take you.”

“…You don’t have to walk me. I’m fine.”

“Let’s go together. It’s late, it’s dangerous.”

The alley they were in was definitely the most dangerous place right now, but Yeong-won didn’t want to bring it up. The relationship had improved after Yoo Seon Woo’s apology, and he didn’t want to ruin it by saying something that could push him away.

Yoo Seon Woo briefly said goodbye to the other two kids in the alley and walked alongside Yeong-won. Yeong-won glanced at the kids behind them and quickly stepped closer to Yoo Seon Woo.

“Which way is your home? It’s not this way, right?”

“Yeah. It’s in the opposite direction.”

“It’s late, but you can go ahead. It’s just a short way from here, and there are streetlights up ahead, so it’s not dangerous.”

“I’ll still walk you. Unless you don’t want me to be with you.”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to… but…”

“Then that’s fine.”

Yeong-won thought about his very old, modest apartment. It seemed better to part ways just near there. He didn’t have any intention of hiding it, but for some reason, he felt a little embarrassed about revealing his living standards all at once.

“Should I carry your bag?”

“Why would you carry it?”

“I thought it might be heavy.”

Yoo Seon Woo, standing behind him, easily grabbed the strap and lifted the bag off Yeong-won’s shoulders. Surprised, Yeong-won watched as the bag slipped from his arms and looked up at Yoo Seon Woo.

“Give it back, I can carry it. It’s fine. I can carry it every day.”

Yeong-won reached out to take it, but Yoo Seon Woo didn’t give it back. Instead, he casually draped the bag over one of his own shoulders. The bag that seemed heavy and large on Yeong-won looked strangely light on him.

“It’s fine, it’ll hurt your shoulder.”

Yoo Seon Woo’s arm then wrapped around Yeong-won’s shoulder. When his large hand enveloped his shoulder, their bodies pressed closer together. The height difference was over 10 cm, and it was clear they had different builds. With just a little effort from Yoo Seon Woo, Yeong-won was easily pulled along.

“Do you go down this alley every day?”

“No. Only when I’m tired. It’s faster this way. About ten minutes?”

“You must be tired today.”

“I was really focused today, so I ended up doing more than I planned.”

“You didn’t think about me?”

It wouldn’t be true to say he didn’t. During the times Yoo Seon Woo was around, especially when sitting next to him, Yeong-won thought about him often. Even when he had to talk to someone, or saw him laughing by accident, or when their eyes met and Yoo Seon Woo quickly looked away, those moments were filled with thoughts of him. To say he didn’t think about Yoo Seon Woo at all would be a lie.

“How could I not? We’re sitting together. Even if I tried not to, I couldn’t help it. I kept thinking about you. That’s why I thought it’d be better to change seats. You’d be uncomfortable with me next to you, and I would be too…”

“I wasn’t uncomfortable. I was just worried about you.”

“You were worried about me?”

“Yeah. I thought you wouldn’t like it if I looked at you, so I’d look away whenever our eyes met.”

Ah, that’s why he was the first to look away. Yeong-won nodded, believing Yoo Seon Woo’s words. Yeong-won appeared naive in many things outside of studying. He trusted people’s words and understood them easily. He had never really done anything outside of studying, so he was often too straightforward. So, he just nodded along to Yoo Seon Woo’s gentle words.

“I thought about you for three days.”

“…Then why didn’t you talk to me first?”

“You wouldn’t even look at me, so I couldn’t talk to you. I know you wouldn’t, though.”

Was I too harsh…? Yeong-won realized that he had been focused entirely on his studies, never looking at him or giving him a chance to talk. He hadn’t left room for Yoo Seon Woo to approach. As they walked with their bodies half-pressed together, Yeong-won lost himself in thought and didn’t even notice how strange that felt.

“You smell nice.”

Startled by the voice near his ear, Yeong-won shivered from the tickling sensation and the warmth that seeped in, instinctively shrinking his shoulders and pulling away. It wasn’t until he backed up a little and found an appropriate distance between them that he realized how closely he had been walking.

“Do you wear perfume?”

“No… just…”

There was no way he smelled good. His soap had a strong apricot scent, and his shampoo smelled like thick flowers, so strong it could give him a headache. His school uniform smelled of an overly strong soap scent. Compared to Yoo Seon Woo, who smelled genuinely good, Yeong-won didn’t have anything that could make an impression. Feeling a little embarrassed, Yeong-won subconsciously grabbed his uniform jacket’s sleeve and tugged at it.

“You… wear perfume?”

“No. I don’t.”

But how could you smell so good? Yeong-won pulled a little further away, thinking it was probably the fabric softener scent he was picking up from him.

“How do you smell so good, even though you don’t wear perfume? I thought the same thing last time… when you were following Kim Hyun-jin.”

“When I was following Kim Hyun-jin? Ah… behind the door.”

The thought that Yoo Seon Woo had already noticed the strong fabric softener smell on him, even at times he hadn’t realized, made Yeong-won’s ears burn with embarrassment.

“…Why do you like it? Doesn’t it give you a headache? It did for me… Even though my mom tells me not to use it, she keeps putting it in. The washing machine’s old, so it smells bad, so she adds more to cover it up…”

Even though he thought he didn’t need to explain all this, words kept slipping out, like a kind of excuse. Yeong-won’s fingers, still gripping the sleeve of his uniform, trembled with a loss of color.

“Oh, so that soap smell on your uniform is from that. I actually like it too. It’s not weird.”

“…Isn’t that the smell you were talking about?”

“No, I meant here.”

Yoo Seon Woo’s fingertips lightly pressed against Yeong-won’s nape. The sensation of his fingers brushing just below his ear startled Yeong-won, and he immediately covered the spot with his hand. It was the very spot where Yoo Seon Woo’s nose had brushed when he had followed Kim Hyun-jin’s playful teasing.

“It smells good there. Like something I want to eat.”

“…Want to eat? What does that even mean?”

“It’s hard to explain in one word, but… it’s like the cream filling in that bread you ate before. I told you that time. The bread really reminded me of you.”

The words Yoo Seon Woo had said when he took a bite of the bread Yeong-won had given him came back to his mind. Kim Hyun-jin had interrupted quickly, but Yeong-won clearly remembered what had been said.