Overlooking Your Eyes

The class president election ended along with the 7th period. After hearing the homeroom teacher’s words of encouragement in the teachers’ office, Yeong-won returned to the classroom and looked at Yoo Seon Woo’s empty seat. He had planned to thank him if he was still there, but it seemed he had already left.

“……”

Without even giving him a chance to say anything, Yeong-won couldn’t understand why Seon Woo had recommended him. He was the model student who wanted to be liked by everyone and avoid stepping on anyone’s toes. He was also the type to hang out with troublemakers from other schools and smoke, looking like a rebellious kid. It was Seon Woo who made the odd comments first, and yet, he had been avoiding Yeong-won even more. Many conflicting images of Seon Woo came to mind.

“…I don’t know.”

With a headache starting to throb, Yeong-won quickly shook his head. There was no point in thinking too deeply about it. Nothing would change by overthinking. He decided to let things flow as they were. His mind felt lighter when he pushed the thoughts of Seon Woo away and saw Kim Hyun-jin walking into the classroom, calling him ‘Class President’ as he entered. It seemed that Hyun-jin had already heard the news.

***

Yeong-won spent five more days without speaking to Yoo Seon Woo. On the following Friday, as usual, Seon Woo left the classroom immediately after the final roll call. Yeong-won was slowly getting used to the routine of just sitting next to him and listening to the lessons. It wasn’t completely comfortable, but he felt like the semester would pass quickly if they just kept going like this.

“Ah, tomorrow is my grandma’s birthday, so I have to go to Jeonju right after I get home.”

“When will you be back?”

“I don’t know. It would be nice if I could come back tomorrow, but maybe I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon. If my brothers don’t go, it’s fine, but if they go, I really hate riding in the car with them.”

“Well, have a good trip.”

Yeong-won followed the slumped Kim Hyun-jin to the first floor, ate a quick dinner, and then headed back to the classroom. On Fridays, there were fewer students doing self-study. Maybe it was because the next day was the weekend, but most of the seniors disliked staying at school, even if they were in their final year. It was the opposite for Yeong-won, who thought of the weekend as a time to study harder. Yeong-won tilted his head back slightly to stretch his sore neck and then refocused on his studies.

By the end of self-study, Yeong-won, who had stayed focused throughout and didn’t make a single mistake, packed up his bag when the self-study supervisor teacher told everyone to go home. Although he was tired, he felt good. He had maintained his concentration the whole time, and it had paid off with perfect results. If he could maintain this kind of condition every day, he would have no more wishes. On days like this, the hope for independence felt even closer.

Although the result was good, he was definitely tired. His head felt heavy, and his steps had slowed down, so much so that he could have fallen asleep right there. He thought he would take a quick shower when he got home and then sleep, but despite it being Saturday, he was still planning to go to school and study. Yeong-won glanced between the main road and the alley, deep in thought.

“…….”

Taking the main road would be a little brighter and safer, but it would take about 10 more minutes than the alley shortcut. Normally, Yeong-won would have chosen the main road without thinking, wanting to delay getting home as much as possible, but today felt different. He was eager to get home and sleep. With that thought, Yeong-won decided to walk down the dim alley.

The area was a demolition zone, with many empty houses and shops, making it a place where troublemakers often gathered, but it was quiet, and if he passed through quickly, there shouldn’t be any problems. Of course, sometimes people would pull on his backpack or follow him, saying strange things, but that was rare. With the single-minded desire to get through quickly, Yeong-won quickened his pace.

Among the broken or damaged streetlights, the few that still worked flickered weakly, unable to light up the alley properly. The wind blew, sending sand flying and causing torn tarps to flap, which only added to his unease. Once he made it through the last narrow alley, he would be back on the main road. As Yeong-won turned the corner and entered the narrow alley, his steps came to a sudden halt.

“……”

Someone was there. No, several people. Three or maybe four. Although he couldn’t see clearly, there were three or four small red lights floating in the air. If they were just smoking, they might leave, but what if they didn’t? Yeong-won hesitated, gripping his backpack straps with both hands.

Normally, if he had come across this situation before entering the alley, he would have either waited a bit or turned around to go back to the main road. But now that he was already in the alley and facing the red cigarette embers, he couldn’t just show that he was avoiding them. People gathered at night in places like this would often get more persistent if they saw someone trying to avoid them or run away. Yeong-won took a quiet breath and moved forward. He had no choice but to pass by them quickly.

“Ah, shit! You scared me.”

As he got closer, someone said in a genuinely startled voice. Yeong-won flinched, turning his head to see the three figures outside a shop with broken glass. One was crouched on the ground spitting, and the person who had spoken was standing by the roadside, holding a cigarette. A sense of déjà vu struck Yeong-won. He felt like he had seen them before. Reflexively, he looked up and saw a man standing against the shop wall.

Under the dim light, the man’s school uniform stood out first. The other two wore dark green jackets, but the man leaning against the wall was wearing the same uniform as Yeong-won. Yeong-won raised his head a little more and met the eyes of the man staring at him.

“…….”

“…….”

A loosely undone tie, an emotionless face, lips parted as he exhaled smoke, long fingers, and eyes that dropped down to look at him without any expression.

It was Yoo Seon Woo again.

Yeong-won’s lips moved without a sound, staring in shock. Once again, he found himself witnessing a side of someone he never expected in a place he never imagined. His mind went blank. Unlike Yeong-won, who was startled, Yoo Seon Woo seemed completely unfazed.

Yeong-won turned his head as if he hadn’t seen anything. His steps, whether from exhaustion or fear, faltered, but he managed to drag himself forward. But Yoo Seon Woo’s footsteps followed beside him, still holding his cigarette.

“Yeong-won.”

“……”

“Yeong-won, are you going to pretend you didn’t see anything again?”

After a long silence, Yoo Seon Woo’s voice reached Yeong-won. He couldn’t believe it, so he turned his head again to confirm his face. It was definitely Yoo Seon Woo. The student who never showed the slightest hint of disarray at school was now disheveled and hanging out with people who didn’t seem to fit him. That much was clear.

“Are you surprised?”

“…Why aren’t you surprised?”

“I was thinking about you.”

“…What?”

“I thought I was imagining it because I really saw you.”

It felt like things had returned to before he had said that strange and unpleasant thing to him. It was different from before when Yoo Seon Woo would stay silent and avoid eye contact. Yeong-won didn’t know why he was acting like this, but strangely, it made him feel a little more at ease. It seemed that he had been subconsciously worried about him the whole time.

“…Do you smoke?”

“Yeah. Since last year.”

“…You don’t look like it… you really do all the bad things.”

Yoo Seon Woo laughed out loud at Yeong-won’s comment. His laugh mixed with the sounds of gritty sand and broken glass underfoot, echoing in the narrow, dark alley where the visibility was poor.

“Bad things? You’re right, but it sounds cute when you say it.”

“…….”

“Now that you’ve seen me doing bad things, are you going to ask me to change seats again?”

The mention of their seating arrangement made Yeong-won stop in his tracks and turn to face Yoo Seon Woo. Looking up at Yeong-won, Yoo Seon Woo reached out and gently grabbed his wrist, pulling him closer. Yeong-won tried to pull away, but when Yoo Seon Woo tugged again, his resistance weakened. Yoo Seon Woo sat on a table abandoned outside a store, holding Yeong-won’s wrist and meeting his eyes. With Yeong-won sitting down, facing each other became easier.

“Let go…”

“No.”

“…Why are you holding on?”

“Because I want to.”

When Yoo Seon Woo said he was holding on because he wanted to, Yeong-won was at a loss for words. He looked at the hand that was tightly holding his wrist. Yoo Seon Woo’s hand was bigger, stronger than his. Though he wasn’t applying much pressure, it was clear just by looking that Yeong-won could never overpower him.

“Your wrist is really thin.”

“…”

“Your hands are small.”

“…You’re just big.”

“Is that so.”

Yeong-won’s wrist felt hot. Yoo Seon Woo held it loosely at first, then tightened his grip and loosened it again as if he were examining something fascinating. The sensation of his fingertips brushing over the prominent wrist bone made Yeong-won squeeze his legs together and press his feet together. It felt ticklish and strange.

“…Stop it…”

“Your hands are small, but they’re pretty. Your fingers are long. Even your nails.”

Yoo Seon Woo now touched the nails, sending a wave of discomfort through Yeong-won. His wrist felt unbearably hot, and his nails itched. He began to feel strange and instinctively recoiled, wanting to get away. Yeong-won pulled his wrist free and covered it with his other hand, hiding it from Yoo Seon Woo’s touch. Yoo Seon Woo released his grip obediently.

“How did you know I was going to ask the teacher to change seats?”

“I just thought you would.”

“How did you know I actually did it?”

“The teacher told me. He said he talked to you, so you should work things out.”

“…You could’ve just asked her to change seats. Why tell him about it? It’s just a seat…”

“I want to keep sitting with you. You’ve only been sitting next to me for a few days, and you’re already talking about changing seats. And I’ll sit next to you next semester too.”

Yeong-won didn’t quite understand what he meant. After a semester, they’d likely change seats, and it was true that the chances of sitting together again would be much lower than the chances of not. But still, Yoo Seon Woo’s words didn’t make sense to him.

“I’m going to do it.”

The smile on his face didn’t quite fit the place they were in. It was a smile that belonged to somewhere brighter, somewhere with better smells, somewhere neat and orderly. No, it wasn’t just his smile; the person Yoo Seon Woo was didn’t belong here. He didn’t fit in this dirty, musty place, and neither did the troublemakers behind him.