No Need for a Core?

When the three of them got back to the wagon, none of the others seemed too worried, but Fuyuko figured that Papa had probably been keeping Mama M and Mama K informed, though probably not telling everything.

She was tired, but she was also curious and a little annoyed about this weird half-formed link she had felt from Amrydor, and Fuyuko doubted she'd get any sleep until this was resolved, even if that feeling had faded after she had dispelled the shadow tether to him. So as soon as she had a chance, she told Amrydor, "Alright, time to talk." She then led him to her room, not caring about the visuals. Everyone here knew better anyway.

Fuyuko closed the door, then leaned against it and stared at Amry. "Now, what is going on?"

"Um," he said slowly, "well, I guess I should start with the day I got my Mark. Er, I was kind of vague, but more happened than what I said. See, Kuiccihan showed up in person first, though I didn't know that at the time, and quizzed me. She was hard to say no to when she pressed, which, well, not a surprise, I guess."

'Her'? Fuyuko hadn't realized that Amry knew that secret. Then again, it sounded like he might not have before that day.

"This one I got for having Kuiccihan as third in my loyalties." He looked rather embarrassed as he made the Mark on the back of his hand glow, showing the outline of a shield around the image of a castle. He cleared his throat before saying, "This one," the back of his other hand began to glow, bringing an image to life, "was for naming a princess of Kuiccihan as my second loyalty, even if she hasn't claimed that title. You know, being sister to the founding queen, and already a princess in her own right. But it won't work fully unless she decides to place Kuiccihan high enough in her priorities and loyalties, because she doesn't get a mark otherwise."

What? Long seconds of silence passed while Fuyuko worked on what he said. The pieces weren't hard to put together; it was just that she wasn't sure she wanted to put them together. The mark he was showing now was the outline of a shield surrounding a three-horned wolf in front of faerie wings.

"That mark, you, me... like Paltira and Orchid‽" She couldn't even string together her words coherently as a sense of panic began to rise at the idea.

"No no no!" he said quickly. "That's not what the mark does. Paltira told me about some other examples that were friends with other relationships, some were even siblings. Just, well, there is a lot of overlap, but the required part is that the person with the shield mark has to be willing to devote themselves to being the protector of the princess they are marked for. Or prince; that happens sometimes too, especially if he'd rather be a she. Um, rambling, hold on."

Amrydor took a slow breath to collect his thoughts before saying, "Princess Fuyuko, I am your friend, and I am willing to be your shield above all others." A wry smile flickered across his face before he added, "And based on our last fight together, you are reckless enough that you probably need a dedicated shield, but I didn't want to burden you with that. There's a lot else happening right now, and this didn't seem like something I should make you think about."

That part was hard to deny, but mostly beside the point until she worked out how she felt about the rest.

Fuyuko was annoyed that a secret had been kept from her, but the reasons behind keeping it a secret seemed maybe reasonable. One part of her scattered thoughts noted that he did not try to hide behind her parents, despite Papa having said that the three of them had also agreed to keep it a secret.

Another part of her was still processing the fact that she could be a princess of Kuiccihan, too. But that came with additional bonds of obligations and loyalties.

Then there was how she felt about Amrydor feeling this strongly about her. Fuyuko did not want any part of the relationship stuff, but she was kind of flattered that Amry was willing to devote himself to her as a protector, even knowing that she wasn't ever going to return part of his feelings for her.

Which brought up the fact that he did still have those feelings for her. She knew that a person couldn't just make those feelings go away, but she was kind of angry that anything to do with his attraction to her was involved at all.

Bah.

One thing at a time. That was what she had been trained to focus on when things became complicated. So, princess of Kuiccihan, huh? Loyalty to the kingdom and nexus that most of her friends and family came from, second to her loyalty to Azeria. When she already knew and liked two princesses and a prince from there. Well, that sort of made that question easy. Except it came with something else.

Something that she already sort of had. Fuyuko already trusted Amrydor with her life. She had already put that on the line when she had gotten in front of that moose, and he was right there where she needed him. And he'd already proven that whatever other feelings he might have, he wasn't going to push or hint or anything else about them; he considered them his problem, not hers.

Hmm. If he'd been feeling like this the whole time, and everyone else had picked up on it... Fuyuko was going to strangle Shizo. "Um, the thing with the makeup, back at the bathhouse, ah..." She didn't even know how to phrase the question in her head.

Amry sighed and smiled wryly. "Shizoku is evil, yes. You were stunning."

She frowned slightly and asked, "If Gemeti thought you might react like that, why did she help Shizo?"

He made an amused huff. "She's evil, too. Also, I think if you had returned her interest, she'd have dropped me in favor of you."

Fuyuko gaped at him.

Amrydor grinned at her. "You overheard me telling Yugo that I thought you were beautiful. Yuyu, no matter what other feelings I have or don't, that's not going to change, and lots of other people think that too. You never notice how many people keep looking at you just to look at you, though most of them at least try to hide it."

"Oh, shards shred it all," Fuyuko swore, careful as always to never invoke Li's name directly. Yvonne had always been clear on the dangers of that, and Fuyuko felt that she understood why it was dangerous better now. She adored the little god that she worshiped, but she had a better feel for why telling him that he was a god would be a bad thing, and using his name directly in an oath came dangerously close to that.

Which was just her thoughts wandering away from what she didn't want to think about. Part of her wondered if she should feel guilty, because she knew she wanted to be pretty, and had been using that image training. But that image wasn't all that different, and the, um, different parts shouldn't be noticeable. And Mama M and Mama K had both said she was a pretty girl; Papa had said she was cute. But they were also her parents now, and parents were biased.

No, still wandering too far. She'd sort of half made a decision, but she had to be sure of something first. "I know I don't get how all of this works. So, um, if you still feel all this about me, then, well, why were ya with Gemeti?" They were too close in strength for him to deliberately lie to her, so it might be slightly unkind to ask him so bluntly, but she needed to understand.

He sighed and rubbed at his face. "Not going to ask easy questions, are ya?" Amry shook his head then said, "There's sort of a lot of answers, and they all add up. If you don't feel like that about me, then I should be doin' my best to get ya out of that part of my head. It's better for you, and it would make things hurt less for me, which is part of things being better for me, too. I don't want to be a problem for you, I want you to be happy, and I want to be able to help you. Gemeti is also the sort of girl I like, so I did my best to act like I would have before."

Fuyuko winced. With how inconvenient and messy she found the whole deal, it was hard for her to think about how bad it might be for him. She had thought that Amry had just felt the way the other guys had, interested in more than friends, but only that one thing more really, or at least not too strongly. But if it was this hard on him... she didn't get it, not really, but she understood it was painful for him to be caught like this. This was the first time she'd heard him slip into a more street-like sound; he had to be stressed.

It was also generally the type of answer she was expecting, and hoping for. There were more shallow thoughts some people might have. It was hard to trust someone who acted too selfishly, but people also needed to be a little selfish.

"I'm sorry I had ta ask, but I needed to be sure I understood. So, um," she took a breath and focused on switching to her princess voice. "I, Princess Fuyuko, acknowledge that as a Princess of Kuiccihan, I have duties and obligations to the kingdom of Kuiccihan, and I swear to put those interests and loyalties shortly behind my loyalty to Azeria." There, that should leave some room for flexibility, and the two were kind of entangled anyway, so most of the time they should be the same thing.

She hadn't expected much to happen, if anything. They weren't exactly in Kuiccihan's territory right now. But instead, both of Amrydor's marks flared up brightly, and he drew them close to his chest with a gasp, like he'd just burned his hands or something. Fuyuko could feel herself being looked at through that blaze of light, and a sense of satisfaction that was followed by an itching sensation high on her back, right between the top of her shoulder blades.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

There was a sudden sensation of connection, and she could feel Amrydor's presence directly, along with a general sense of how he was doing, though that was all muddled right now. Then Kuiccihan's presence withdrew. "Are you alright?" Fuyuko asked tentatively as she took a step toward Amrydor.

He slowly put his hands out in front of him, examining them carefully. His movements were like he expected them to hurt at any moment. Then he nodded and let out a breath. "Yeah. Um, I didn't know she could do that. But, maybe it makes sense? These sort of already carry part of her power away from herself. And now you have one too. Just like I can tell Bellona has one. But, you know, more strongly." He sounded confused and looked a little uncertain.

Fuyuko nodded. "Good. Um." She gave him a brief smile as she tried to prepare herself for the next idea in her head. "You've been a good friend, though I haven't known you as long as Shizoku and Derek. You've made yourself my shield as well, and I trust you, so fully accepting that seems right. You're going to do it anyway, I think, and this will make you better. Which is good for both of us."

Why was this idea even scarier? "But some of your feelings for me also seem to make things harder for you, and I don't like that. So I thought of something that might make things clear for sure. It would make sure of something for me too, 'cause maybe I just need to understand it better. Um, I'm worried it might hurt you though, if it doesn't go the way we know you want it to."

The mix of emotions on his face was kind of funny, but this wasn't the time to make any jokes about it. "So, I, um, think you should kiss me." Fuyuko had been going to say 'want', but that had not been true enough. She was torn on this idea. There was part of her that wanted it to wake something up in her. Then maybe she could give him what he wanted. And she'd fit in better, and understand people better, because she'd know what that feeling was like.

And if it was there, it seemed better to maybe find it now, instead of being even more confused later.

Amrydor stared at her for a long moment in shock, then he closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead. After a little bit more, he sighed and said, "Fine. But if we are going to do this, it needs to be right. Or, more right, at least." He started tapping pieces of his armor and storing them in his ring, but he seemed way too aggressive.

"Amry? Are you mad?"

"N–" He paused, then tried again. "Not at you. I think I get what you are trying to do. But it's frustrating too. A selfish part of me wants this, but I can tell you don't really want this, and I don't want you doing something you won't like. But maybe being sure is the best idea. I don't know."

Talking as he finished removing the outer layers of his armor seemed to help calm him down, and he was now in the scaled leather armor, which was set to be thick enough to be good padding for his metal armor. "Now, like I said, I think we should do this right. Give it the best chance to be romantic. Then, then we can be sure."

Amrydor didn't sound very hopeful. Fuyuko didn't really think much was going to happen either, and for a moment considered taking back the idea. She was certain that he'd not argue about it... but it also felt like it might be cruel in a way to do that. So she dismissed that thought.

He took a moment more to adjust the scaled leather armor, making it about the same thickness as normal clothing. "Um, let's try this from sitting. I think that will be the easier way to go slowly," Amrydor said as he glanced around and then chose his seat.

On her bed.

His grin was mischievous. "You're not scared, are you?"

Fuyuko scowled at him as her temper flared at the accusation, but then she realized that was the reaction he was aiming for. She was less nervous now. "Ass," she muttered as she moved over to sit on the bed next to him.

"Yes, you have a nice one," he said, and she jumped a little before looking at him with wide eyes. He laughed at her expression. "I already said you're beautiful, this is just being a bit more specific. If you want to know if there is something here for you, then I need to be honest in doing my part. So you're getting the me that would have been flirting with you, if you had been open to flirting."

Oh. That sort of made sense. "Right," she said, then hesitated, not sure what to do next.

Amry's gaze slid slightly to the side, and he slowly raised his hand to brush her hair back lightly. "I like your hair and watching it grow longer, but I'm guessing you had it really short before you left Sanctuary. That would have been cute, too. I bet I could have seen more of your horns."

His touch was nice; the soft warmth of contact with a trusted person, and she let herself enjoy that for the moment. But that calmness rippled when he asked in a quiet voice, "Can I see your Mark?"

She made herself ignore her sudden nervousness and nodded. "Yeah," she said just as quietly and turned while mentally commanding her armor to dip down along her back.

"It's pretty, and is sort of a counter-match to mine." Amrydor touched her back with his fingertips and traced the outline of it. "A tri-horned wolf's head, with faerie wings out to the side of it, and that wolf is guarding a castle. So you guard Kuiccihan, and I guard you."

That sounded like a reasonable pattern. "Why is mine on my back?"

"Paltira said that the princess's Mark is always more hidden than a normal Mark, and the way he said it, I think that it's at least much further down, if not elsewhere all together. Not something for casual display. But you aren't a normal princess either, so it is more visible on you."

Fuyuko nodded in response, but she couldn't think of any other questions. Instead, Amry kept caressing her skin and seemed to like following the trails of her stripes. When he started drawing her closer, she let him guide her. He didn't kiss her lips immediately; he started by kissing her cheek, then moving closer to her lips.

As for the real kiss, well, it was certainly different. Fuyuko tried to kiss back, but she didn't really know what she was doing, and she didn't seem to have any instinct to guide her, nothing telling her that something was better or worse than the other, and she couldn't feel anything 'building'.

After a little bit, he broke the kiss with a sigh, then drew her in for a hug and cuddled her.

Fuyuko liked that part, but she was pretty certain that this wasn't the normal sort of result. "I wasn't stopping you," she eventually said.

"I know," Amry replied, "but you weren't actually enjoying it either. I'd rather not prolong the experience if you don't like it."

Which was sort of why she had been considering letting him go as far as he wanted — she trusted that he'd do his best to make sure things were good. But Fuyuko couldn't say she really liked the idea of doing more anyway.

She stayed there for a while more before gently pulling away. "Well, um, I guess that's that. I, ah, well, thank you for trying. I was kinda hoping maybe something normal would happen."

"Normal, you?" he teased. "I can't imagine such a world."

Fuyuko punched him lightly in the arm.

Amry smiled briefly, then shrugged. "I guess I should get going now," he said, and rose from the bed.

"Yeah, I guess," Fuyuko replied as she watched him stand up and walk toward the door, but she interrupted before he got there. "Amry, I trust you a lot. I trusted you to try something I knew you wanted and that I thought I needed to be sure of. And, um, well, if one of those weird story situations happened, where someone had to find someone else to marry and have kids, I'd trust you to take that part, if you wanted. I, ah, I still don't think I'd actually like the, um, private stuff, but I'd feel safe with you at least. Which would make it at least not horrible. And I think that's as much as I can offer. To anyone. I'm sorry I can't be what you wanted."

"Yuyu," he said with a gentle but kind of sad smile, "the most important thing to me is that you be happy. I'd rather have us just be friends than have you lose or change any part of yourself. You are the you that I like. So it's alright. And thank you for trying. I think that'll make it easier for the part of my head that was still making the occasional what-if dream."

There was one more thought that had started bugging her, and now seemed like the time to ask. Or at least, no time was going to be better. "Um, one more thing. When I was trying to sneak up on you and Yugo, Yugo said something about you always knowin' if someone was, er, interested. You willing to tell me that secret?"

Amrydor sighed and rubbed his forehead again. "Sure, why not. It's only embarrassing for me and everyone else. But you have to promise not tell anyone unless it is really important that they know, alright? No one is going to want to know, and I wish I didn't know. "

Fuyuko was a bit confused about why it would be embarrassing, but the promise gave her flexibility if it was important, so she nodded and said, "Yeah, I can promise that."

"Er, alright, so, you know how I said that different people have different life patterns? Well, life is always changing, that's part of what living is. So the pattern is always changing too, but the change has its own sort of pattern. Anything that changes the physical life of a person is reflected in that pattern. Sometimes, that includes emotions. Certain emotions need to be big to make a noticeable change, but other ones, um, even a small change in feelings makes a pretty hard to miss pattern change. For me, paying attention to a person means 'seeing' their pattern as clear as if it was on their face. I can't separate it." Amrydor looked pained as he said, "I have learned more things about people than I would ever want to know, and I can't turn it off. Best I can do is ignore most people completely. But if I am not ignoring someone, I can't filter what I sense."

Oh. OH. That was... yeah, Fuyuko was glad she didn't have to see that sort of thing about others, ever, and she could see why he didn't want to talk about it. "Um, yeah, I won't tell anyone about that. I think even Papa would rather not know." Part of her was still curious about exactly what sort of things he 'saw', but the rest of the her was certain that not knowing was much, much better. "Thanks for trusting me with that."

He nodded, then left.

When he was gone, Fuyuko got ready for bed. It was morning, but she'd been up all night, and Papa had said he was going to go ahead to the encampment, and everyone else could catch up tomorrow.

There was one thing that she had not told Amrydor. An option that was scary to think about, and that she had no intention of doing, but she was pretty sure would work, if she did it right.

Faerie magic.

A lot of faerie magic didn't really interact with that sort of stuff, and that was the sort of thing that she liked about the pixies. They were only sort of girls, or girl-like, but not really either girl or boy, and they didn't care about that stuff.

A pixie that did care about that stuff, or started to seem more like a boy, was about to become something other than a pixie.

Then there was the other side of it. The side where her option lay. Fuyuko had been very careful to think of Amrydor as her Shield, and only as a princess of Kuiccihan.

A Faerie Princess laying claim to a Knight was a very different thing, and the idea of that sort of magic just coming in and doing stuff to her to make her into someone who wanted to do that sort of thing was terrifying. Would she really still be herself if it remade her that way? That did not sound like something she wanted, and based on everything else he'd said and done, Fuyuko was pretty certain Amry would be upset at the idea of her doing that.

So no, that wasn't something she'd ever do, but she was aware that it was something that she could do.

Fuyuko set those and all other thoughts aside and let herself finally get her much-needed sleep.