No Need for a Core?

Fuyuko took Mordecai's hand when he offered it. She was pretty certain that she could follow her papa into the deep shadows without doing so, but they were going to be going much further than she'd been before, even further than when she started slipping during her bad jump.

It was even stranger than she expected. Fuyuko could step a little into the shadows without moving her position in the normal world, but going even a bit deeper than that required moving in normal directions at the same time. Papa turned deeper and stepped directly away from the world of colors. Everything around her immediately turned to shades of gray, and every step they took shifted everything darker. Only, the color wasn't really gone. It was just harder to see the contrast.

She rather imagined most people would be blind by now, but she'd always had good night vision, and that had started improving after she'd played with Li in the mushroom forest. Now, without even the possibility of seeing the more saturated colors she was used to, Fuyuko could start noticing the differences that were still there in this more muted world.

These were not new colors; red was still red, but there shouldn't be enough light for her to be able to tell the difference between red and blue, let alone the difference between red and orange. Yet she could still see even fine nuances in hue.

While she was being distracted by the shift in her senses, they had come to a stop, and Papa was watching her with a small smile. Waiting. Waiting for what? Oh, there was a lesson for her to find here. Mama K said he did that to her too — waiting for her to find the lesson he wanted her to learn. Fuyuko didn't find it as annoying as Mama K said she found it though. Maybe it had to do with how distractable Mama K was. Fuyuko turned her attention back to the buildings around her. They were sort of the buildings that had been in the normal world, but they were not exactly the same. Their shapes and colors were slightly distorted, and sometimes wavered and shifted.

There was also a compressed feeling about them, despite them looking to be the same size. That sort of made sense — the distorted distances of the shadow realms were what made shadow jumps possible. Only they were all the way to the shadowlands themselves. Fuyuko reached out to touch a wall. It was there, hard and flat, yet it also felt vague and indistinct, like it could stop being solid at any moment.

"It's almost like an illusion, but there's something actually there," she said softly.

Papa nodded. "Yes. Shadows are a reflection of reality, and in some ways are more real than the image you see in a mirror. In a way, you aren't really seeing; your mind is creating an image of what you can sense. Shadows are everywhere and are ever-changing distortions of reality. But sometimes, that distortion is truer than the apparent reality. At its simplest, an illusion doesn't cast a shadow, though a more skilled illusionist will make sure to create a false shadow as part of creating an illusion."

Fuyuko glanced up at him. "That sounds like the stories where someone discovers a demon because of the shape of the demon's shadow."

"Yes," he said, "that can happen when they are shape-changed, though it takes direct sun or moonlight to do so, and it only happens with demons and devils."

She noted his answer, but didn't reply immediately because she was distracted by realizing that she was looking up at her papa. "Um, what, how did— Why are you taller?"

That got a laugh out of him. "Am I? Or is it that my shadow is bigger and that's what you are seeing?"

His shadow? But there wasn't enough light for a shadow. And how could his shadow be standing next to her? This thought sent her mind racing through half formed thoughts about them being shadows right now, as they were in the realm of shadows, and her perception of the shadowlands began to shift and flicker, with Fuyuko sometimes feeling like she was suddenly a flat projection smeared across a wall, and sometimes like a distortion bulging out of something that should be so flat as to not exist in one direction.

Then abruptly her senses were smothered, partly because Papa wrapped her in a hug from behind and covered her eyes, and partly from his power washing over her and suppressing her ability to sense anything but him. "You aren't quite ready to see those layers yet," he said, though he sounded a little amused. "For one thing, we need to get you into much more advanced math, and then you have to align your intuition with that math, which is even harder."

Harder than learning math more advanced than what they were already teaching her? Blech. Fuyuko groaned out, "No, you've got to be teasing me, I don't want to learn that kind of math."

"Up to you," he replied, "but if you want to truly master the shadows, you have to eventually understand all the ways in which they are, and are not, real. Hmm. While I've got your eyes covered, it might be time to teach you another piece of the intuitive side. Don't try to visualize what is happening."

People and objects had definite boundaries between them and all that was not-them. Shadows crossed and were subsumed without any such issues, making the difference between two 'touching' shadows a matter of perspective.

This was not an experience that Fuyuko had ever expected to feel, and she wasn't entirely sure how she'd describe the feeling. The boundary between what was her and what was Mordecai was suddenly uncertain, and her existence now overlapped with where he existed. Part of her thought that she should probably find this terrifying, but instead, she found it comforting.

This strange overlap also meant that she could feel more of the weight and depth of Papa's existence. She could 'see' into him, because she was already partially past the outer boundaries of separation. It was far from a complete understanding, but she could feel the shape of his personality, his history, his power, his feelings, and so much more. Fuyuko was certain that he had gained an even deeper insight into her, but there was so much less of 'her' to know, compared to the vastness of time that Mordecai had existed.

The most important for her was the sense of warmth, security, and safety. It was everything that a comforting hug wanted to be, but transcending the limitations created by separate existences.

It was also something that Fuyuko thought could drive some people mad. She had two advantages — her growing understanding of shadows and the complete willingness to be seen to that depth by Mordecai. Sure, there were many things she didn't want to talk about or say directly, but none of it was a secret that she was afraid of letting her papa know.

When he started strengthening the boundaries between them again, Fuyuko felt a touch reluctant at first. She liked the comfort she found there, but it was also not a state that was sustainable. They were separate people, and as much as she found comfort in that brief glimpse of Papa's totality, she had no interest losing her sense of self.

A few moments later, he was stepping away from her. Fuyuko opened her eyes and found the appearance of the shadowlands had stabilized once more, though she thought that there was perhaps a bit more nuance to her understanding of what she saw. Even that thread of shadow leading back to Amrydor was sharper and more visible.

"Well," she said, "um, what now?"

"Now that you've had your initial reaction to being this deep, I can move on with the ritual without fear of interruption." Papa was clearly teasing her, but now that she thought about it, it made sense that everyone would have some sort of reaction the first time they were this deep into the shadows. "Here, we are going to use the quasi-real nature of shadow to help with my divination, along with its nature as a reflection of reality. I will be calling up reflections of the past, or should I say, shadows of your past. Which is part of why we needed to be here, and I need you with me."

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"Does that make this sort of divination stronger than others?" Fuyuko asked.

Papa shook his head. "No, it is simply the form I am strongest with. Some specialties might be better at gleaning specific types of information, but in general, the different forms of divination have the same power and limitations. Now, that was where your family's home was, right?" At Fuyuko's nod, he began walking slowly around it.

As he did so, the other buildings shifted out of view; they were only shadows of the real things after all. The now-barren ground outside of the circle that Mordecai paced was featureless and black, an empty shadow. In Mordecai's wake, runes and symbols formed inside of layered circles that enclosed the current building. Most of them glowed a faint, blueish silver to Fuyuko's sight, but some of them had different hues, and a few were formed from even darker gashes than the shadows themselves; glimpses of true void, an utter absence of anything, including light.

Three times he circled the building, each time creating another layer of his magical work. As he completed his third circuit, he turned toward Fuyuko, a line of bluish silver following from the outermost ring.

Walking around her three times was a lot faster, and the symbols were not as dense or complex, but she could feel it when the connection to the larger array was complete. "Now," Papa said softly, "I need you to focus on that night."

There was no need to ask which night.

The building in front of her wavered, then rapidly unmade itself to reveal scorched earth beneath. Shortly after that, pieces of her old home began to appear. First, the places she remembered best: her bedroom, the kitchen, the main room. Exposed and open without the surrounding building. But they acted as seeds around which the rest of her home formed.

"Alright, I have it from here. Just stay and watch, but don't leave your circle."

It was strange to feel herself being used as a conduit to her own past, but she was the strongest connection Papa had to this moment. The scene flickered, people appearing and disappearing while Mordecai watched it intently, circling once more to see it from every angle.

"There," he said, and the image froze. Three people were highlighted at a gesture from Mordecai; one was a bearded man, another looked like a woman by her face, and the third was more ambiguous in facial features. All three wore loose layers meant to obscure them, making further distinction difficult.

Shadowy image trails started forming behind them, and Mordecai started expanding the image in that direction, but the images started breaking up about the time that they appeared to be coming out of an alley. He frowned and murmured a short incantation, then shook his head. "They were interacting with someone warded against divination. Let's focus the other way for the moment."

Now the illusion followed them forward. The three people were breaking into her old home. The shadow-illusion showed the inside of her home as the three went to different locations: one to the attached smithy, one to the shop front, and one to the kitchen. They did not attempt to steal anything, though they looked longingly at a few smaller items of value before shaking their heads and moving away from temptation.

They were setting fires, and in these locations, the fires would quickly grow and block exits. The image once more froze, then shifted to focus upstairs. Eight-year-old Fuyuko was asleep, unaware. Her form was briefly outlined, followed by the small wardrobe nearby briefly becoming transparent before her clothing was similarly outlined.

Fuyuko glanced at Mordecai, who smiled. "As long as we are doing this, I can provide you with a little more than knowledge."

The process was repeated with her parents in their room, and Fuyuko understood. Mordecai was capturing images that could be used to create future images, so that she could see her mother's and father's faces once more, and her younger self alongside them. That was... something she couldn't think about much, or she'd start crying. But it made her happy that he'd thought of it.

The image shifted back to watching the other three, and after they started their fires, they left in a hurry. Outside of the house, they scattered in different directions, but the focus remained on the outside of her old house. Waiting, until the fire became visible. Until the way out was blocked. While a strong enough adult could likely protect themselves from most of it, protecting a young child would be much harder.

Then a portion of the image distorted and broke, leaving a gap where nothing could be seen. Papa made an annoyed sound. "The warded person again. Having someone else start the fire let them watch the building in case someone escaped, and would also let them leave unseen if something else happened that threw off their plan."

The distortion flew at one of the second story windows and burst through, though visually the window and wall briefly flickered out of existence, then reformed with the window and part of the wall broken. Fuyuko wanted to see inside, to know what happened, but the illusion couldn't 'see' anything too close to the warded person.

But it could see Yvonne. Despite how tiny and unimportant she made herself look in the crowd of people who were arriving, attracted by the noise and the fire, Fuyuko made her out clearly. Then a different window was kicked out, drawing attention to it right before the younger Fuyuko was thrown out into the crowd.

Yvonne caught the girl, nearly falling to the ground as she absorbed the impact. Then she took off her cloak and started wrapping it around the crying Fuyuko, muffling her crying and removing her from direct view. As she did so, she glanced upward at the window with a pained, guilty look, and then looked around to see who was watching her, looking furtive. Being wrapped up seemed to quiet the younger Fuyuko, and she didn't put up a fuss when Yvonne picked her up and left. Huh. Her eight-year-old self was as large as most ten-year-olds. Yvonne had carried her the entire night?

Fuyuko's memories of that night were a blur; she mostly remembered being wrapped in warm darkness and crying, but she had no sense of how long.

Her contemplation about how Yvonne carried her for so long was interrupted by sounds from the second story. Angry sounds, growling voices, snarls, the sound of impacts, and objects crashing. Two voices, and a strange emptiness of sound mixed in. So both of her parents were fighting that unknown person.

She was hearing her parents being killed.

Pain stabbed her heart at the realization, and she hugged herself tightly, clenching her jaw to keep herself from crying. Papa paused the illusion and looked at her, but before he could say anything, she shook her head and took a deep breath. "No, let's get this part over with."

He sighed and nodded. Time resumed.

The sounds were not easy to listen to, but the silence afterward was worse. Then the warded person crashed out through the window that Fuyuko had been tossed out of, with the same stuttering gap of imagery as when they had thrown themselves into the house, and the crowd scattered. The running people looked surprised and confused; Fuyuko didn't think they'd heard the sounds clearly. Maybe Papa had made them clearer to be able to tell what was happening.

After it landed, the gap in the image paused before rushing off in the same direction that Yvonne had left. She had been right to keep running.

The image paused again, and Mordecai moved over to examine something on the ground: the blood-covered, broken tip of a sword. "It's silvered steel," he said quietly. It took her a moment to take in the possible implication. While it might be chance, simply the easiest weapon to reach, there was another reason. If her parents had known they were being attacked by another luponi. Or, maybe, by some other bloodline affected by silver, but that somehow seemed even less likely.

"I'm not going to let you see this part," Papa said, then stepped into the air, moving through the illusionary walls to examine the aftermath of the fight. When he came back down, he simply said, "It was almost certainly another shape-changer." She didn't want to know the details of how he had decided that. "I've saved all of this and a little more to a crystal; I want to study it in detail at another time. When we get back home, I'll make you a display to show your other parents. I can add Yvonne too, if you'd like. When you are older, I'll give you a concise recording of the important information for tracking."

While he was speaking, the magic behind him was unraveling, and he soon had her wrapped in a hug, simply holding her for a while. She did need this; she did need to cry, but she was also thinking. If this was orchestrated by another luponi, then it probably had nothing to do with the Puritasi. But it also meant that they'd probably been betrayed by someone they knew.

The sun had just cracked the horizon when the two of them returned to the normal world, to the relief of a worried-looking Amrydor. It was sweet, but something caused Fuyuko to hesitate before releasing the thread of shadow she had used to guide her and Papa back as part of her training. "Amry," she said with a frown, "this isn't the only connection between us, only the other one doesn't feel complete. What is that, and why don't I know about it?"

Her friend had a guilty expression, but the way he glanced at Mordecai made Fuyuko wonder if she was going to need to be mad. And at whom.

Papa smiled slightly and shrugged. "It's probably best if you two talk about it. But not right now. When we get back to the others. However, Fuyuko, you need to know this. First, it was not his choice, and second, your mothers and I decided it was best to not tell you immediately once we found out. We didn't want to complicate things right before we left for training."

Fuyuko wasn't certain if that was better or worse.