My Scumbag System

I narrowed my eyes, instantly suspicious. My foot tapped against the floorboards as I considered the offer. The light from my desk lamp seemed to dim, as if Apollo's presence was somehow consuming the ambient energy in the room. "Three-fifty? Are you out of your divine mind? The last rate-up was two-fifty."

Apollo wagged a finger at me, making a tsk-tsk sound that somehow managed to convey millennia of condescension. "Ah, but the last rate-up only guaranteed one Gold item. I'm offering you five. Five chances at Platinum. Five chances at Diamond. Five chances at Legendary." He floated upside down, his face inches from mine, his breath smelling of ambrosia and stardust. "It's practically stealing from the gods! Think of the value!"

I hesitated, the weight of the decision hanging heavy in the air between us. Three hundred and fifty SP was a massive chunk of my reserves. The sensible move would be to save it, to upgrade my core stats incrementally, ensuring a balanced progression. I could hear the phantom voice of reason—sounding suspiciously like my mother—advising caution, patience, prudence.

But balance was for people playing by the rules. And I was here to break the game.

The mattress springs creaked beneath me as I shifted my weight, my decision crystallizing. In the dim light of my room, my reflection in the window looked different—sharper, more predatory, more like the person I was becoming than the one I'd been.

"Fine," I said, my voice low and firm, sealing the deal like a contract written in blood. "You've got yourself a customer. But if I get five pieces of gold-plated garbage, you and I are going to have a serious conversation about consumer protection laws in the divine marketplace."

Apollo clapped his tiny hands together in delight, the sound like distant thunder. His grin widened, revealing teeth that were just a bit too perfect, too white, too sharp. "Excellent! The wheel of fate turns once more! Let's see what the Muses have in store for you, O Protagonist Mine!"

The Gacha interface exploded with golden light, bathing my room in an otherworldly glow. The posters on my walls seemed to come alive in the strange illumination, the faces watching me with new intensity. Five glowing orbs materialized, hovering in my room, pulsing with power and promise. Each was about the size of a baseball, but they seemed to contain entire universes within their translucent depths.

Bartholomew's eyestalks retracted in alarm, his body shrinking into its shell with surprising speed for such a normally languid creature. The terrarium glass fogged slightly from his distressed secretions.

"Let the games begin!" Apollo announced with all the enthusiasm of a carnival barker combined with the gravity of a cosmic arbiter.

The first orb cracked open with a sound like breaking glass, a noise that seemed to echo from somewhere beyond physical space. A wave of heat washed over the room, so intense I felt sweat instantly form on my forehead and trickle down my temple. The air shimmered with distortion, and for a moment, I could swear I saw the silhouette of a massive, winged creature within the light, watching me with ancient, knowing eyes.

From within the brilliance emerged a simple, elegant ring made of dark, obsidian-like material, with a single glowing crimson gem that seemed to pulse like a tiny, beating heart. It rotated slowly in the air before me, shedding ruby light across my features like blood in water.

[Dragon Witch's Ring - Gold Item]

This ring, forged from the scales of an ancient fire drake, amplifies flame-based abilities by 75%. Passive effect: Increases resistance to heat and fire damage by 30%.

I reached out, half expecting to be burned, and slipped it on my right index finger. The ring adjusted its size automatically, gripping my flesh with intimate precision. A surge of warmth flowed through me, not uncomfortable but noticeably present, like drinking hot tea on a cold day. It spread from my finger up my arm, across my chest, and throughout my body, settling into my bones with a pleasant weight.

I instinctively channeled [EMBER], curious to see the difference. The familiar tingle of energy traveled down my arm, but this time it felt amplified, enhanced, as if the ring were acting as both catalyst and conduit.

The lazy flame that usually formed in my palm was now a roaring jet of blue-white fire, twice its normal size and hot enough that I felt my eyebrows singe from the proximity. The heat was incredible, turning the air around my hand into a rippling mirage. The shadows in my room danced wildly, thrown into chaotic motion by the sudden, intense light source.

"Holy shit," I muttered, cutting the flow of power with an effort of will. The flame died instantly, but the lingering heat remained, radiating from my palm like I'd held it too close to a bonfire. This was a direct, massive power-up to my core abilities. A fantastic start.

My mind raced with the implications. With this ring, [EMBER] wasn't just a utility spell anymore—it was a legitimate weapon. I could feel the potential thrumming through the metal on my finger, a constant, subtle reminder of my growing arsenal.

"One down, four to go!" Apollo sang, floating in excited circles above my head, trailing stardust that vanished before touching anything. "Ready for more? The cosmic slot machine is still spinning!"

The second orb shattered with less dramatic flair but somehow deeper impact. Unlike the first, it didn't release a physical item. Instead, a wave of psychic energy washed over me, invisible but palpable, seeping into my brain like warm honey.

I could feel it rewriting subtle connections in my social processing centers, enhancing pathways related to deception and empathy in equal measure. It felt invasive yet strangely welcome, like the sensation of a skilled surgeon excising a tumor.

[Devil's Advocate - Gold Trait]

Your lies become 40% more convincing, especially to those already inclined to trust you. You gain an instinctive sense for when someone is receptive to manipulation. Enemies are 20% more likely to believe reasonable-sounding falsehoods from you.

I grinned as the knowledge settled into my mind, integrating with my existing understanding of human psychology. This wasn't just a trait. This was a weapon of mass seduction. A skeleton key for the locked doors of human trust. With this, my lies would become more believable, my manipulations more subtle, my false confessions more heart-rending.

Kimiko won't know what hit her. The thought came unbidden, accompanied by a slight twinge of guilt that I quickly suppressed.

"Moving right along!" Apollo cheered, clearly feeding off my excitement like a parasite drawing sustenance from a particularly delicious host. "The show must go on! The audience is at the edge of their cosmic seats!"

The third orb didn't just crack; it exploded in a shower of platinum light. The brightness was so intense I had to shield my eyes with my arm, the radiance penetrating even my closed eyelids. The air seemed to vibrate with potential, with a promise of transformation. When it faded, I felt... different. Something fundamental had changed in my very biology, a resilience I hadn't possessed moments ago. My muscles, still sore from Braxton's beating, seemed to throb with new vigor, as if already beginning an accelerated healing process.

[Rockstar Made - Platinum Trait]

What doesn't kill you literally makes you stronger. Gain a 5% bonus to all attributes after surviving life-threatening damage. Additionally, your recovery time from injuries is reduced by 30%.

My grin widened into something predatory, something that would have frightened me if I'd seen it on another person's face. This trait was a direct counter to Braxton's brutal training methods. The more they beat me down, the more powerful I'd become. Each defeat would plant the seeds of future victory, each injury would forge me into something harder to break. It was a game-changer that turned every setback into an opportunity, every punishment into a reward.

The bruises from this morning's sparring session already seemed less painful, the recovery process visibly accelerated. I flexed my hand, noting how the stiffness in my knuckles had diminished significantly.

"Well, well, well! Platinum on your third pull! The gods must favor you today!" Apollo looked genuinely impressed, which only made me more suspicious. His tiny eyebrows had shot up his forehead, and he was stroking his chin with exaggerated thoughtfulness. "Or perhaps the algorithm recognizes a protagonist with serious potential for delicious suffering. Nothing makes for better entertainment than watching someone climb to the heights of power only to fall spectacularly."

The fourth orb also erupted in platinum light, a softer, gentler radiance this time. Another platinum! My heart pounded against my ribs like it was trying to escape. This light was different—soft, gentle, almost... cute. It bathed my room in a warm, pink glow, turning the austere space momentarily into something from a child's storybook. When it faded, a wave of sickeningly sweet energy washed over me, carrying with it the scent of wildflowers and forest dew.

For a moment, I swore I saw cartoon birds and squirrels materializing in the air before vanishing like smoke. The pictures on my walls seemed to smile benevolently. Even my dirty laundry looked somehow more cheerful. Bartholomew suddenly emerged from his shell with unusual eagerness and began crawling toward my foot at a speed I wouldn't have thought possible for a snail.

[Fairy Tale Princess - Platinum Trait]

All animals naturally adore you. In times of danger, nearby animals will attempt to aid or warn you. You can make simple requests of animals, which they will understand and attempt to fulfill to the best of their ability.