My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

"When faced with the harsh words of nature, we must use all of our senses to befriend it, to use it. Dont restrict your potential to a weakness." The yellow Ninja states.

It's mile three of a morning running and I hope the finish line is my grave, at least then I will be able to sleep.

Standing before us is a yellow ninja, instructor, Something. He looks like mustard, so I'll just call him that.

Each step feels as though I have a cinderblock to my foot.

"C'mon Graves, you're such a slowpoke, its ninja training time!"

With eye bags that sag down to the ground, I gasp for every breath in my bright pink ninja outfit. "I- it's not my faul- fault I'm so tired." With tired eyes I look accusingly at Dissiri who blushes when she notices.

Noctiva gave up after the second mile, after which she had Dissiri carry her. "Stop being a wimpy wimp. You know, I heard they only give Power Morphers to the top of the class." She says from the safety of Dissiri's arms.

"Power Rangers aren't even ninjas..." Are they?

After finishing a grueling 5 mile run, we stretch. We all sit on a dusty dirt field, cardio and stretching, its like walking through the first two circles of hell.

This whole ninja training just looks like a rebranded military boot camp, typical calisthenics, running laps, people barking orders, I guess thats kind of what this is, just an old school military.

At first I thought this was just some historical site where a group of foreigners were trying to keep their culture alive; but these guys are no joke. Between off brand Isshin Ashina1 at the helm and all of these special forces-esque training

Meanwhile, our vibrant colorful outfits stick out in the ocean of gray outfits the rest of the people wear. It seems similar to the religious retreat; they all have colors representing their position of power. The mustard yellow ones are the instructors, the red ones are the higher ranking ones, and old man Phalinx was wearing a jet black outfit.

My eyes narrow as I continue to mumble to myself. "But, what's the point of any of this? It's not as though there's other warlords to be assassinated."

"freelance work."

"Oh, that makes sense."

(☉__☉") I lurch back as the voice beside me whispers.

"Eh?! Girl from yesterday?"

"Well, I do have a name."

"Riven- Riven?" How do you even say that?" So, what are you doing here?

"Uh... training?"

"Wait!? You're a newbie too?!"

"That's right."

(-_-) They had an inexperienced person as our guard... that's reassuring.

"So what did you mean by freelance?"

"Similar to how your government disowns some of its troops to send them into places they aren't supposed to go, we act the same way."

"So, you're mercenaries."

"That's somewhat of an outdated term, but that's undeniably what we are. Wealthy clients hire us to make their opposition disappear. This land was bestowed to us by the government, meaning we have independent rule, we are allowed to act outside of the boundaries set by standard governments."

"That... is terrifying." It makes them an independent nation, similar to how casinos work. "But what if you were caught? Wouldn't your village be under siege."

"That's why we're not allowed to leave the village unless we make it to Jonin."

So they're like Black Water, I assume the government also hires them to deal with people they can't reach through public military means.

"Wait... this sounds super secret... so... why are we allowed to be here?"

"I- I'm no entirely sure what fath- Phalnex Shogun was thinking..."

(⩌_⩌) "And why are you telling me any of this?"

(◉ ̫ ◉)

(⊙_⊙)

"Just kidding!" She strains a smile. "We're uh... cosplayers who pretend we're shinobi.

(¬､¬) "Hmm... is that right?" Giving a half assed effort into stretching, I lean forward. "To be honest, I don't really care, nor do I have anyone to tell that to, half of my friends have pebbles for brains, so your secrets safe with me."

Riven sits there doing a perfect 180 degree split without even straining herself. She looks at me with curiosity as she leans uncomfortably close. "So... what are you? It's pretty obvious that you're not her massage henchman. Based off what you did last night with the ladies, are you..." She looks at me with wide eyes.

"No, I'm not a male stripper." I correct. "I'm a landlord." (¬_¬)

"...huh?"

"On that note, are you interested in buying a hotel at a steal of a price?" 人( ≖‿ ≖ )

"Huh? But, I'm not allowed to leave the village."

"Oh... well... lots of people own summer places, if you would lik-"

"Really? Well, I have 100 yen to my name... I'd be happy to buy it."

"Isn't that like 60 cents?"

Why is every girl I meet dead broke?

With a defeated sigh, I wave away her singular coin."Nevermind, I'll just save you."

"What?"

"Its called foreshadowing."

After an hour of literally tearing my muscles while stretching, we finally move onto the cool ninja stuff.

Shurikens; apparently they don't instantly kill when they hit someone like they do in movies, it's more of a tool. Before us is an array of targets and a supply of metal stars.

Noctiva was having the time of her life as she throws the stars at the target. Her aim is actually applaudable as she hits the target every other star... unlike Dissiri's dismal performance.

Throwing one of the stars, it flies over the target, above, below, to the right; no matter what, she just can't manage to hit it.

"Why do they use such ancient weapons?" She grunts angrily.

(>U<) Noctiva attempts to restrain her laugher. " XD, Dizzi, what are you aiming at? I'm going to have to find me a new bodyguard if you keep this up." Noctiva teases.

With a click, Dissiri unlatches her pistol and fires at the targets. Splintering explosions sound as she hits all 10 wooden targets before reloading with a cold expression.

～(^з^)-♡ "Hehe, Dizzi, I was juwst kiwdding."

The other students all begin to unsheathe their tanto blades, aiming their attention to Dissiri. Yet, the instructor waves away their concern as though warned this would come.

They all go back to their aim training; for them it was the simple matter of trying to get the star in the center, meanwhile I was struggling to even hit the target.

Unlike Dissiri, I don't have a gun to compensate for my incompetence.

Since I'm a guest, they gave me my own lonely lane and three targets that were far closer than the others; it felt like I was being treated like a kid, even then, I still couldn't land a single star.

"Try holding it between your hand." A voice states behind me.

Lurching forward, I completely miss. "Stop doing that!"

"Answering your questions?"

"I swear, you ninjas are like Siri, can't say anything without you overhearing."

She goes up behind me and holds my arm in position like a cheesy romance, except the guy is the one being held int he woman's arms.

It's a little degrading, yet I'm kinda into it; not the degrading part, the being taught something by a independent woman part.

Placing the shuriken between my fingers, I throw it forward. It flies through the air, spinning in a hypnotic motion before sinking its sharp blades into the wooden target.

٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و "I hit it!" I cheer.

(ᵕ—ᴗ—) "Well... it wasn't your target. But no one said progress had to be forward."

٩(¬_¬)و "Let me have this."

"And that is... Nice!" d–(^ ‿ ^ )z

As she stands before me, I realize how cute she is; She has gray and purple hair, and a faint trace of eyeliner alone her eyelashes. She's shorter than me, yet has the skills necessary to kill me. Not only that, but she seeks me out to help me improve or just to talk to me...

It makes me feel....

SUSPICIOUS!

"Why are you so kind to me?" I finally ask.

"Kind? Oh... well... because you're inexperienced and they told me to."

"Why are you lying?" (¬_¬) I sigh.

"Wha- I'm not lying?!" She refutes.

"If that were really the case you would be helping your honorary guests, not the random that tagged along." Turning to Noctiva, she is still teasing Dissiri.

"Eh... well..." She looks away as she plays with a pebble in the dirt.

Scratching her head, she finally turns to me. "Everyone here is so... closed off. So, despite being surrounded by people, it feels lonely; nobody talks about their feelings or anything that isnt about murder. Meanwhile, I think your feelings are on display, every emotion is painted on your face like a picture book.

(¬_¬) So I'm like a unicorn... "Uh... thanks?"

Her expression shifts to a smile. "In this village, that would be an insult."

"Oh... then... how dare you?" At least she's not trying to con me like half the woman I know.

As she giggles, her short purple and gray hair sways. It makes me realize, she's right, her voice is so pure it was like a songbird in a treachery of ravens.

"So, you've never been outside this village? Do you know what year it is?! Or who Mr.Beast is?"

"Of course I do; It's not like that, we're not allowed communication with the outside world. We have internet and technology. In fact, being knowledgeable about such things is vital for us."

"Vital?"

"While our techniques may seem old school, we are not ignorant enough to see that we need technology to keep up with the rest of the world. In that, we are a hybrid of the old and the new."

sekiro shadows die twice