My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

UUUGGGHHH

What happened yesterday?

My head is a blur as I fail to recount the events that transpired... and what a weird dream I had.

A crazy cult of psychos... actually, crazy cult is redundant.

They say dreams are just you seeing an alternate reality of yourself... well, I pity whatever version of me I saw last night.

"Oh, you're awake."

"Eh?..." The doesn't sound like Cafune or Boketto...

Turning I see... Asher?

She lies there naked, yet sits up in the bed as she reads some religious scripture.

"Uh... are you real?" I ask bluntly.

She gives a playful giggle. "Am I real? I sure hope so." She no longer has her hair tied up in a braid as it now cascades down her bare body.

"So... I was brutally killed and then we killed a bunch of people?"

"Graves... what are you talking about?"

Huh!? So that was a dream? I'm so confused! "Oh, uh, nothing."

With another playful laugh, she bookmarks the page of her book and places it on the nightstand.

Crawling towards me, her heavy breasts sway like a metronome before she lays her body out ontop of me.

"I'm just messing with you; yesterday's hell was undeniably real. But you helped me walk through the flames." Her supple body presses against my own as she begins kissing my neck with her soft lips.

Looking at me in the eyes, her playful grin turns into a loving smile. The warm rays of the morning sun flood the room as they glisten off her baby blue eyes. "So, thank you, Graves..."

The perfection, the stillness, the sanctity of this moment overwhelms my brain, causing it to short circuit with a stutter. "Oh... well, it's not-"

"Graves...?" A voice trembles beside us.

Turning, I see Scylla standing there holding a large cardboard box.

"Ehhh... good morning Scylla." I awkwardly chuckle.

...

There's a long pause, a moment for us to process what was happening.

Her eyes soften, and her lips tremble. "Graves... Why are you having sex with another woman in my bed?"

Unlike most of the other comical moments, her reaction is not a shout of confusion or annoyance; It's worse, deject.

She winces as I can hear her breathing hasten. The amber of her eyes glisten as they begin to water.

For a moment there's silence, her expression a begging plea, as though I would come up with a real reason that this might be the case, or, even if it were a lie, something she could use to rationalize my actions.

But there wasn't.

Instead, I simply look at her with pity.

Pity for a wound I had inflicted.

She begins choking on her tears. Running out of the room, she slams the door behind her.

"Who was that? Your girlfriend?"

"No... my nihilist buddy."

"Your what?"

It's not as though we had any real relationship, nor had we actually done anything, but a bond inevitably forms when a male and female connect; It's the same way with Astro, I can't open my heart so their love is communicating with a wall..."

Asher doesn't seem all that bothered by the intrusion as she continues her seductive kisses while she runs her hands through my hair.

Wait...

Astro...

ASTRO!

"Shit!"

Asher looks up from her playful cuddling. "What?"

"What time is it?"

Looking over at the analog clock, it ticks 10:10 AM.

Carefully pulling Asher off me, I yank my clothes on.

"Where are you going, Graves?"

Tugging my foot through my pant leg, I run my hands through my hair in a sloppy attempt to comb it. "I- something with- work! I promise I will explain everything later; just make yourself at home here."

Bolting out of the apartment, I sprint down the halls of the 78th floor, still struggling to get my arm through my jacket.

With wide eyes, I slam the elevator button.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, did this thing always take this long?

With a ding, it finally arrives.

Throwing myself in I slam on the lobby button, desperatly clicking the button to close the doors.

"Graves?"

Turning, I see Fintan.

Her eyes light up as I look in her direction.

As the doors begin to close, she manages to slip her hand between the sensors, causing the doors to reopen.

I strain an impatient smile. "Oh, Fintan, hello." Grabbing her arm, I practically throw her into the elevator, holding her as though we were doing some dance.

I hear another voice asking us to hold the door open, fortunately it closes before we make even make eye contact.

Out of relief, I sigh, neglecting the fact that I am still holding Fintan in my arms.

Positioning her to standing formation, I scratch my head. "Sorry about that, I just... got so excited when I saw you." I lie.

It's not like I hate her... but seriously, I'm in a rush!

Despite my lies, her eyes brighten as her cheeks shift to a pinkish red. "Do... you really mean that Graves... because you haven't come over once since... well, you know."

"That's not true, I was just over last Tuesday. We all had dinner together, and we played board games. I even stayed over."

Oops, shouldnt have said that last part. Kinda backed myself into a corner here... ah! Why is she crying!?

"But... where did you sleep?" She questions rhetorically.

"Well... Folie said... I could stay in... her room."

Her cute submissive expression vanishes, instead she wears the same look of deject Scylla gave me.

With watery eyes, she looks up at me. "I heard you guys..."

Pursing my lips I wince. "Oh... sorry."

"Do you know what I did after that?"

"Uh, no..."

She attempts to speak, pausing before uncharacteristically shouting at me. "I masturbated to your voice!" She clenches her face yet fails to look at me. "Closing my eyes, I imagined that you were complementing me instead of Folie. But, every time you said her name, the pain it inflicted on my heart it- it dragged me back to the cold reality of my lonely dark room."

"I..."

"Folie doesn't deserve your love! So, why!?"

She's wrong.

Her lips tremble as she struggles to mumble out the rest of the planned speech. "Why do you choose her?"

I'm the one that doesn't deserve any of this love.

"Fintan..."

With a ding, the elevator arrives to the lobby, a flock of people wait outside.

The social pressure, the confusion, the guilt, my stupidity... I can't form a single word.

Like Scylla, she too gave me the courtesy, a moment to explain my selfish actions.

But, the crowd begins to fill the elevator, engulfing the distance between us.

With a nod of pained acceptance, Fintan turns away.

As the elevator doors close, the last thing I see is a stream of tears running down her face.

I was too distracted by my patheticness, that I neglected actually leaving the elevator.

So, I click the second floor and hop out and take the one flight down.

I attempt to get a cab, but they all ignore me or already have passangers.

So I run, with my ability, I'm able to run far faster than the average person, at least four times as fast, so the thirty minute walk takes me about seven.

Failing to catch my breath, I arrive at the cafe entrance.

Slamming the door open, my eyes dart around the cafe in an attempt to locate Astro.

But she notices me first. Her ruby eyes are wide, as though she had been looking up at every single person who entered the restaurant, hoping it would be me.

Cautiously making my way to her, I sit down across from her. "Astro, I'm so sorry, I- there was- I got a last minute call from work."

She giggles through a pained expression. "Its alright, I just got here as well."

She says that, but there's already two empty cups of coffee and dried tear streaks running down her cheeks.

She sits before me, wearing an adorable red turtleneck sweater and a black skirt with matching leggings. Her appearance looked as though it had been planned a week ago.

And mine? Wrinkly clothes I had left on the floor, a trashy white shirt and stained gray sports pants with disheveled hair and sleep in my eyes.

A woman walks over to the table, handing Astro her a pastry and a ham sandwich.

Astro shakily chuckles. "I apologize, I was just- I was so hungry, I selfishly ordered before you even got here."

"Oh... no worries." I attempt to reassure her with a close eyed smile.

Looking at the clock on the wall, it's almost eleven. An hour late... yet she had stayed, holding onto the hope that I would come.

"Could I just get a cof-"

As I sit there, the waiter glares down at me. Inspecting me, she recoils in disgust. "...Douche." Not even asking for my order, she leaves.

"Oh, that's weird... why did she leave without taking your order?" Astro's words sound so fragile, as though she were the one that were in trouble.

"It's alright, I'm not really hungry, anyway." I can't decide what expression to give, a part of me wants to smile and act as though nothing were wrong, the other half wants to look at her with pity.

Astro tilts her head as she tucks her hair behind her ear. "Well, I'm sorry that I took you away from your busy day." She's not crying, but her sorrows seem to have trailed along as she sniffles. "And, I totally get it if you have to go; I won't take any offense."

"Astro, I- I'm sorry. That was cruel of me to be late. But, I'm here; here to stay."

I always reprimand Boketto for apologizing, but now I'm the one pathetically apologizing. The worst part is, they aren't doing anything but masking obvious lies, making me appear deceptive. Perhaps that is the most honest part, because I am just that.

"Why are you apologizing? You said it was work. Sounds like there was nothing you could do about it."

She says that, but we're just two people lying to one another in a futile attempt for semblance. She knows I don't work, the only question going through her head is... who?

Who was special enough to me that I would be an hour late?

Between her cute appearance and her trembling artificial happiness, it makes me... mad.

Who made her feel this way?

What kind of person could break the heart of someone so innocent?

Who else but me?